Nico (Heartbreaker #2) (7 page)

“Yes, of course. Thank you for thinking of everything tonight.”

We ride a short distance down the road to the club. Once we step out of the cab, Mila loops her arm through mine and the three of us head inside. It’s still early, so it’s not too crowded yet. We’re able to grab seats at the bar. The girls order me a sweet martini and we all clink glasses before I take a sip. It’s delicious, but I need to make sure I pace myself. I pluck the cherry out of the glass and pop it into my mouth.

I’m grateful that they’re not speaking Italian so I can follow along. I’ve learned a few words and phrases since I’ve been here, but not enough to communicate fluently. Gaia turns to me. “Nico worked here after upper secondary school. He started bussing tables, then learned to make drinks and he went up and up from there.”

This is where his love for nightclubs came from. I used to love watching him at Debauchery. He’d set me in a little booth in the corner. For a while, I’d watch him move through his club, talking and laughing with people as he checked to make sure things were running well. Girls would flirt relentlessly with him. Sometimes he’d ignore them and sometimes he’d flirt back.

I’d get mad, but all he had to do was slide into the booth next to me and place his hand on my leg and I would be putty in his hands. I shiver as I remember the way it felt to have his lips on my neck. He made me wet so fast when he did that.

Shaking my head, I focus back on Gaia and whatever she’s talking about. The music is all in Italian, but the beat is universal. I suck down the rest of the potent drink.

I need to slow down before I get shitfaced. It’s been so long now that I’d probably make an ass of myself. Before I can stop her, Mila’s placing a fresh drink in my hand. I feel her lips by my ear. “Don’t worry,” she says. “We have a ride home and Nico will take care of the baby if needed. Let loose.”

“Okay.” With that, I suck down the drink Mila just gave me.

My arms are up in the air as I sway side to side on the dance floor. I’ve been out here for a while now, but I love to dance and always have. I’m not feeling any pain thanks to the three sweet martinis I had. Both of his sisters are out dancing with me and we’re having a blast. My hips swivel as I close my eyes and feel the beat of the music. We’re dancing off to the side since the floor is packed and it’s super hot.

Gaia excuses herself to smoke a cigarette, but Mila and I keep dancing. A waiter comes by with what looks like little shots. I stop him and buy two. I hand Mila hers and we clink them together. “To new friends and aunties for my sweet baby girl.”

We toss them back and hand the glasses back to the waiter. We look at each other and throw our hands in the air.

As we dance, I throw my arms around her. “I’m going to miss you when we go home.”

“And I, you,” she says into my ear.

We continue shaking it until Mila looks behind me. “Our ride’s here.”

I turn and see Nico as he starts walking toward us. He’s in a button-up long sleeve shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Of course he looks deliciously hot. Why couldn’t he have miraculously gotten ugly?

Before I can think better of it, I saunter toward him, adding an extra swivel to my steps. He watches me as I get closer. Hell, I don’t know what I’m going to do, but that doesn’t stop me from getting close to him.

When I reach him, I don’t say anything at all. I place my hand on his chest and look up at him. His face is a little blurry thanks to the three drinks and shot that I had. My body moves until it’s snug against his. I start grinding against him and let my hands wind up his chest until they’re around his neck.

“What are you doing,
bella
?”

I shush him and keep dancing. With my heels on, I come up to right under Nico’s chin. His scent wraps around me and I lean forward, placing my nose against his skin. He smells just like I remember. I’m surprised by the comfort I feel, but I choose not to ignore it.

“
Bella
?” he whispers against my ear. I shiver against him.

I pull back and look up at him. Before I can stop myself, I push up on my toes and place my lips on his. At first he doesn’t react, but just as I’m about to pull away in embarrassment, he returns my kiss. I forgot how good his lips feel against mine. When he licks the seam of my lips, I open my mouth for him and he thrusts his tongue into my mouth.

His cock hardens and pushes against my stomach as we continue our kiss. I’m not sure how long it goes on, but suddenly images flash through my mind. The first is of the day I met him and saw him fucking that girl. I keep kissing him. The second is the first time I saw him after we had had sex for the first time and he had a blonde Barbie bimbo on his arm and he acted like I didn’t exist. Other instances flash through my mind, including when I found him in bed with the skank and I had gotten into the accident.

Hurt and anger fills me as I shove myself away from him. He looks at me, confused, and before I can think better of it, my palm connects with his cheek. We both freeze. I look down at my hand and back up at him. Both of my arms tingle and I feel almost like I’m having an out-of-body experience. My hand strikes him again and again.

“Jill stop!” I hear one of his sisters say to me, but I ignore her. The tears are falling freely as I reach up to slap him again.

This time Nico stops me by grabbing me by my wrist. I try to punch him with my other hand, but he grabs that one too.
“Fermarlo!
Stop it! What’s wrong
?”

My mouth starts moving before I think better of it. “You broke me!” I shriek. “You broke me! What did I do to deserve it?” I scream at him. I try to fight him as grabs me and starts carrying me outside. He sets me down on my feet and I shove him away from me.

I’m sobbing uncontrollably. “Why, Nico? What did I do to you? I loved you, I love you still. Our love made a baby. Our beautiful little girl, but you threw us away. Please make me understand why. I don’t understand why you didn’t fight for us.”

I hug myself and watch, blurry-eyed, as a single tear falls from his eye. I hang my head, not even caring that I’m dripping tears and snot all over the place.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you home.”

Mila and Gaia wrap their arms around me as the four of us head to Nico’s car. Everyone is silent as we head back to his mom’s place. I watch the passing scenery, my stomach starting to revolt. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The feeling passes. I can hear Gaia and Nico talking rapidly in Italian.

They’ve mentioned my name a few times, but I can’t seem to make myself give a shit. When we’re finally back at Martine’s, I scramble out of the vehicle and stumble onto the porch. She must’ve heard us because she meets me at the door.

“Oh sweetheart, what happened?”

My stomach clenches and I make a dash for the bathroom. As soon as I cross the threshold, I fall to my knees and scramble to the toilet, where I start the disgusting task of emptying my stomach. I clutch the toilet seat with both hands and get sick over and over. I’m vaguely aware of someone pulling my hair back.

I flush the toilet and then rest my head on the seat. I’m startled by a cool washcloth being placed on my forehead, but I moan because it feels good on my overheated skin. I look behind me and begin to cry when I see Nico is the one in the bathroom with me.

I don’t think. I just crawl into his lap and cry into his neck. He wraps his arms around me and rocks me as I sob. His words are soft. I can’t understand what he’s saying, but I can feel it. Even in my alcohol-soaked brain, I can feel his words, if that even makes sense.

I’m vaguely aware of Martine’s voice in the bathroom. I know she’s talking to Nico and I’m sure it’s about me. I keep my eyes closed and my face buried. My eyes suddenly feel heavy. I don’t fight the sleepiness. There, in Nico’s arms on the bathroom floor, I fall into oblivion.

Chapter Seven

Jill

It feels like I have a head full of hammers pounding away at the inside of my skull. Ugh, it tastes like something died inside of my mouth. I start to get up, but an arm around my waist halts me. I very slowly roll over enough to see that the arm belongs to Nico. Last night comes rushing back to me in all its painfully embarrassing clarity. With a groan, I roll back over and bury my head in my pillow.

Light spills into his room. I take a second to glance around and something on the wall catches my eye. Without thinking, I move his arm and slip out of his bed. On silent feet, I pad across his room. Hanging on the wall, next to his closet, is a drawing of Nica and me, an artistic rendition of one of my favorite pictures of us. I had it blown up. It’s hanging on the wall in my room. Memories of the moment that picture was taken flood my mind.

I push one final time and feel my baby girl slip from my body. I’m so exhausted, but the second her cries fill the room, I need her in my arms. Jasmine’s taking pictures and my mom’s kissing my forehead and crying as we watch the doctor place my daughter on my chest. My mom helps pull down my gown a little so the baby and I can be skin to skin.

I close my eyes as I hug her close. A sense of peace washes over me. I don’t know what my mom and Jazzy are doing right now. All I can focus on is my baby in my arms.

My baby begins to cry again and the nurse helps me put her to my breast. She latches on almost immediately, like she’s done it a hundred times before. Dark tufts of hair cover her head and her skin is dark.

The tears come before I can stop them. I cover my face with my free hand, trying to shield myself from everyone.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” My mom says against my temple.

“She looks just like him.” I cry. “She’s beautiful.”

“She sure is, baby. My grandbaby is the most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever seen. You did good, honey. I’m proud of you.” My mom already has the proud grandma smile.

The nurse takes the baby from me to clean her up. Then they finish doing whatever they’re doing down by my hoohah. Jasmine went with the baby and my mom’s going out to get my dad and brother. She promised she’d stall them until I was showered and changed.

An hour later, I’m just sitting on the bed with the help of my best friend when my dad and brother come bursting in the room. My dad has always been Mr. Hardass, but the minute he lays eyes on his granddaughter, I can see his eyes turn glassy.

“Gloria, hand her to me.” He even sounds a little choked up. My mom takes my daughter out of her bassinet and places her in my dad’s arms. He walks carefully to the bed and sits down next to me. “She’s perfect. You did good, my beautiful Jilly Bean.”

He hasn’t called me that since I was little. I lean against him and bend down to kiss the baby’s head. “Thanks, Daddy.”

Gabe comes to me and helps me stand up so he can hug me properly. He leans down and whispers in my ear, “Do you want me to let him know?”

Prior to my due date, I thought long and hard about Nico. I thought about all of the pain he’s caused, but I also know that part of it was because of his addiction. I also had to think about what was best for my child. I just don’t think I’m ready to deal with him at all.

“That’s fine, but I don’t want to talk to him.”

Gabe nods his head in understanding and turns to my dad, his stepdad. “Give me my niece, old man.”

My dad reluctantly gives her up. Gabe gently takes her and sits down on the sofa next to Jasmine.

The two of them smile and coo at my baby and then give each other those damn looks where you know exactly what they’re thinking about. Sure enough, not more than five minutes later, they offer to go get everyone lunch and disappear for two hours.

When Gabe finally texts us that they’re on their way back, my dad looks at my mom. “Well, if she’s not already pregnant, I expect we’ll be celebrating another baby in the next nine months.”

“Jesus, Dad! I can’t listen to this.” I cover my ears while I sing lalala.

My mom sits down next to me and hands me the baby. “Have you decided on a name for this little beauty?”

I’ve had two names picked out since I found out she was a girl, but I wanted to meet her first before I chose. Now that I’ve seen her sweet little face and held her little body, there’s only one name that truly fits. “I’ve decided to call her Nicola, Nica for short.”

My parents are both silent at first, which I expected. No one can understand why I chose to name her after her daddy. Even though he’s not in our lives, she needs something of his. It fits her, and she most certainly is an Italian baby.

Finally my mom bends down and kisses Nica’s head. “Nicola, your nana loves you.” My baby girl yawns, stretches, and falls right back to sleep.

No matter how happy I am, I feel this underlying, stifling sadness, but I’ll get through it because it’s not about me anymore.

Nico steps behind me and pulls me from my thoughts.

“Who drew this?” I ask.

He places his hands on my shoulders. “Mila did. I love this picture. Will you tell me about her birth sometime?”

I take a deep breath, turn around, and face him. He looks tired and sad. There’s a scratch on his swollen cheek. I’m hesitant, but I reach up and touch his cheek gingerly. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

He places his fingers over my lips, silencing me. “
Bella
, you have nothing to be sorry about. This afternoon, I’d like to leave Nica with my sisters and show you around and maybe talk, if that is okay.”

I don’t know why, but right now I just need to hug him, so that’s what I do. I wrap my arms around his middle. At first, he doesn’t return the hug, but soon, his arms are banded around me just as tightly. For a long time, I stay wrapped around him. He doesn’t seem to mind.

“I am really sorry, Nico.”

He kisses the top of my head. “Please stop. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me. I’m the one who hurt you.”

I don’t respond because technically it’s true. Instead, I let him hold me just a bit longer. When we finally pull apart, I tell him that it’s a good idea for us to talk and then excuse myself to use the bathroom.

When I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I have to hold in the scream that threatens to pass through my lips. My hair is a huge brown cloud around my head. I have swollen, bloodshot eyes, but the best part is the smeared mascara that’s dried on my cheeks. My lips are dry and crusty looking. I grab the toothpaste and spread it on my finger, doing the best I can without a toothbrush.

When I climb in the shower, I turn the water up as hot as I can stand it and let it run down my body. My muscles start to relax, so I grab the soap and washcloth.

Once I’m clean, I begin to feel more human. I’m rinsing off when Nico’s voice startles me. “
Bella
, I brought you some of my mom’s clothes. They are on the counter.”

“Oh, thank you. Is Nicola up yet?” I hate to admit it, but I totally forgot to check on her before I came in here.

“Sí
.
My momma is feeding her. They seem to be having a great time.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m sure they are. They love each other so much already. Your mom is wonderful, Nico.”

He agrees with me and excuses himself. I shut the shower off and get out. With the towel wrapped around me, I walk to the counter to see what he grabbed for me.

I slip into a pair of black leggings, commando, and a long sleeved t-shirt that shows off my Nica curves. The shirt is emerald green, bringing out my eyes. I take the towel off of my head, comb out my hair, blow dry it, and throw it up into a messy bun.

Embarrassment fills me as I make my way downstairs to the kitchen, where I can hear him and his family talking.

I won’t even bother denying that I stopped at the door to listen, wondering if they were talking about me. Instead, I hear Martine’s voice as she starts singing to Nica. I don’t know where or how, but I’ve heard that song before.

When I step around the corner, I find Nica in her daddy’s lap as she eats some sort of bread. His mom is across from them, singing. Mila and Gaia are at the stove.

I have second thoughts and start to back out of the room, but Nica sees me. “Ma, Ma, Ma,” she shouts.

Everyone turns to look at me and heat flares in my cheeks. I mumble a good morning and grab my girl out of Nico’s arms.

“Good morning, my beautiful girl. Have you been a good girl for
tua nonna
?”

She looks at me and then at Martine. “No? No?” It sounds like she’s trying to say
nonna
. I look at Nico’s mom and she’s beaming.

“Very good, my precious girl.” I turn my attention to everyone else in the room. “Thank you for taking care of her last night.” I’m sure they all helped with her while I had my emotional breakdown. Everyone smiles reassuringly and Mila brings me a cup of coffee.

Nico slides over on the bench so I can sit down next to him. He takes Nica while I eat my muesli, yogurt, and fruit. Nico informs me that after he showers, he and I are going sightseeing, which is code for the talk we need to have.

While he showers, Martine grabs me a pair of ballet flats and a cardigan to wear. She even brings me some of her makeup, which I quickly apply. Gaia sits down next to me and leans in close.

“Are you okay? I was really worried about you last night.”

I’m taken aback and don’t even know what to say. “I-I’m okay. Thank you.”

She wraps her arms around me and hugs me. I wrap my arms around her too and am grateful that this family has been wonderful to my daughter and me.

***

Nico

I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and try to prepare myself for the talk I need to have with Jill today. When my mind drifts to last night, an ache forms in my chest. Her pain was palpable, and that is all on me. I did that to her. Holding her in my bed last night while she cried in her sleep hurt, but I deserved it. I deserved everything she dished out.

After last night, a part of me doesn’t want her to ever forgive me because that would be the perfect punishment for everything I’ve done to her. On the other hand, I’m hopeful that we might have a future together because she told me she still loved me. We’ll see what happens.

A knock on the door pulls my attention to the doorway. My mom comes in and smiles at me. “You’re telling her everything today, aren’t you?” I can tell my mom is nervous. Her brow is furrowed.

“I have to. If I ever want the chance to make things right, I need to. This isn’t a conversation I want to have, but she deserves to know.” I wrap my mom in a hug. “This affects you too. Are you sure you’re okay with her knowing?”

She places her palm on my bruised cheek. “My beautiful baby boy. She needs to know. What happened shaped us all in ways that may have lasting effects, but it is what it is, and we can’t change the past. What we can do is move forward and not let it affect us any more than it has.” With that, she kisses my cheek and leaves the bathroom.

Across the hall, I throw on jeans and a white, long sleeved button-down shirt. I roll the sleeves up and throw on my black Pumas. When I go downstairs, I find Jill staring absently out the window. My palms sweat as I walk to her.

“Jill?” She turns toward me with a small smile on her lips. “Are you ready to go?”

She nods and lets me lead her toward the kitchen with a hand at the small of her back. My mom, sisters, and daughter are all sitting at the table. I kiss my mom’s forehead and kiss Nicola’s cheeks. I swear there is nothing better than watching my daughter smile up at me.

I never knew it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly until I met Jill. It happened again the first time I saw Nica’s picture. Now that my daughter is here, holding her in my arms has been the best feeling in the world.

I tell her to be a good girl for her aunties and grandma in both English and Italian before I kiss both of my sisters and then lead Jill outside. The air is crisp, but with long sleeved shirts, we should be fine, especially since we’re walking.

At first, conversation is stilted, and things are awkward. We walk for a while before we reach my primary school. As we walk around the side of the building, I show her where my old classrooms were located. Over the years, I’ve never really shared much with her about my childhood or teen years…well, I’ve never shared anything that had to do with my life here before I moved to America.

“Did your sisters go here too?” Jill asks as she walks next to me.

“Mila did, but Gaia went to the one that’s closer to where Mom lives now. She’s eight years younger than me. We moved to where
mia madre
lives now when Gaia was only three.”

“I’m in love with the architecture here. It looks like a movie set. It’s almost surreal.” She turns to me, smiling. “Where to next?”