Night Critters (Collection)
Read Night Critters (Collection) Online
Authors: Lena Austin
Changeling Press LLC
www.changelingpress.com
Copyright ©2010 by Lena Austin and Tuesday Richards
First published in 2010, 2010
All rights reserved.
Copyright (C)2010 Lena Austin & Tuesday Richards
ISBN: 978-1-60521-449-8
Formats Available:
HTML, Adobe PDF, EPub
MobiPocket, Microsoft Reader
Publisher:
Changeling Press LLC
PO Box 1046
Martinsburg, WV 25402-1046
www.ChangelingPress.com
Editor: Katriena Knights
Cover Artist: Sahara Kelly
Adult Sexual Content
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Night Critters
Lena Austin & Tuesday Richards
When hybrids collide with a wolf pack, love and laughter are just the beginning.
The Thornburn Pack was normal, once. Normal for werewolves, anyway.
Then they began to fall in love with mixed breeds like a Chuskie (half Husky, half Chihuahua—don't ask how), a fiery Goth half-angel, a Foo Dog/dragon, and an angry fairy with a shotgun.
Life—and love—has never been this hilarious.
Night Critters: Must Love Dogs
Lena Austin & Tuesday Richards
In the mid 21st century, paranormal creatures have come out of the shadows. After the plagues of 2010, the human population has been decimated, but some still scream over racial purity—and not just among the humans.
Roni Engelmann is a were-dog. Talk about your interracial relationship! Not only is she not a pure werewolf, but she's a crossbreed Chuskie—offspring of a Siberian Husky and a Chihuahua. She's looking for love and isn't surprised to find it in a human. Who cares what she sleeps with? Except Corbin isn't human.
Corbin is a pure werewolf Alpha and heir to the richest pack in three states. He's also tired of being pursued by werewolf females for his money and his title. Pretending to be human and breaking tradition is the only way he sees of finding his dream Alpha Bitch. Who cares if he dates a were-dog?
Who cares? Their parents. This is so not
Romeo and Juliet
. You won't hear any Shakespearean whines or rhymes, but you may hear a whole lot of howls and growls.
Crack!
Roni's hand connected with her date's face. Teaching the guy not to get grabby made her hand hurt like hell, but the lesson was worth the bruising she'd have later.
The lust faded from the vampire's dark eyes. His jaw clenched in anger. “Wench! How dare you slap me?"
Roni laughed. The sound echoed through the trees outside her home. The moonlight made the vampire appear even paler than he had in the restaurant. Or maybe it was just shock. “Wench?” When had this guy died? Why had she chosen to go on a blind date with this geek? “This is the mid-21st century, pal. Nobody uses that word anymore. Another rule for this century is to keep your hands to yourself unless you're invited."
After the plague of 2010 humans had welcomed the paranormal into their world. At least most of them. Then again, there were some who just didn't belong in the world today, like this guy.
He threw his shoulders back, pointed his nose to the sky and straightened his old-fashioned coat. “You moonlit curs are all alike,” he growled back. “A pack of teases."
Roni's annoyance turned to amusement. Cur? She bit her lip hard to hold back a snicker. Even the crickets chirping in the woods seemed to laugh at the archaic term. “I'm not going to justify that with a rebuttal, but I will leave you with some advice.” She straightened her back in mocking nobility. “Hit a tanning salon. You might have more luck with the ladies if you didn't glow in the dark.” Roni turned with dignity and walked inside the house, closing the door on a vicious string of French curses.
She leaned up against the cool wood and pushed her golden brown hair out of her eyes. “Dating pool—fifteen. Roni—zero and alone."
In exasperation she pushed away from the door, her high heels clicking on the hardwood floor. She stalked down the hallway to the living room and tossed her purse onto the overstuffed chair.
Her shoulders slumped. The house was dark and quiet. The smell of Ana's perfume lingered in the air. She kicked her black stilettos off into the corner. Losing four inches depressed her even more.
Roni flipped the wall switch on. Light flooded the living room and only illuminated her loneliness from the outside. She dropped her keys on the desk.
The note taped to her computer didn't surprise her. Rolling her eyes, she pulled the note off the monitor. Ana had been turned back when handwriting and manners counted, and the early training showed.
Roni,
Hope the date went well. You'll have to give me the nitty gritty when I return tomorrow evening. I'm at Jon's. If the date sucked (sorry for the pun [grin]) I have signed you up for an Internet dating site. Your login information is below. I don't expect you to find Mr. Right, but hopefully you could find Mr. Right Now. (Don't kill me. You love me!)
Ana
"Can't kill what's already dead, Ana, but I'd have fun trying.” Roni dropped the note on her desk. She dragged her feet into the kitchen. “What the hell is it with vampires and ‘sucking’ jokes? They're not that funny.” She pulled a bottle of red wine out of the pantry, blowing the dust off. The cloud descended on her head, and she sneezed. “What a surprise. Even my roommate thinks I'm desperate while she's out fucking feather boy."
Ana dated a half-angel, half-human crossbreed called a Nephylum. Jon was a surgeon and a nice guy. Roni almost envied her roommate. Ana had a steady boyfriend—someone to hold her when she was sad and someone to love her when she was lonely. The familiar green-eyed monster sat on Roni's shoulders and taunted her.
She brushed jealousy off and poured a glass of wine. Ana was the best friend she'd ever had. Roni was happy for her. She missed her company but couldn't be selfish.
Roni hung her head and walked to her bedroom where she changed into her silk nightie. She sat down on her bed, grabbed her book off the nightstand, and tried to read. When she realized the book was upside down Roni gave up and put it back. “Great. Another Saturday night with my hand down my pants."
She stood up, walked across her room, and felt a breeze under her nightie. She glanced at the mirror and saw a thin layer of brown fur and her tail peeking out from under the silk. “Nice. My tail is showing. I really am horny.” Roni frowned at her reflection. “The bright side? At least I inherited my mother's Husky tail and not my father's Chihuahua whip cord.” Roni wagged her tail, relishing the elegance of the brown and gray fur. Grinning at her vanity, she plopped down in the chair.
Locating the dating website was simple enough since Ana had saved it to Roni's Favorites. Damn meddling vampire.
Logging in, she found the website had already listed some matches for her. She pulled up the first profile.
Techno music blared from the speakers.
Roni clapped one hand over her ear and fumbled to find the elusive tiny button on the corner of her keyboard. “My kingdom for the mute button!” Silence blanketed the cottage once more. Her ears thanked her. “Strike one for this guy. Our taste in music doesn't match."
Roni studied obnoxious music boy's photo. He had short blond hair, thin wire-framed glasses, and a smile only his mother could love. Robert Dickerson was five foot eleven, one hundred and ninety pounds. Romantic and an accountant. “Accountant? If we were to have a date I'd get a math lesson.” Roni smiled as she looked through the profile and read aloud. “'I've been told I'm romantic to a fault, always doting on the woman in my life.'” Roni raised an eyebrow. “Romantic to a fault. Translation is, he's clingy, desperate, and the only romance he's had was with his mommy or his hand.” She closed the profile and scrolled to the next one, realizing she enjoyed the excitement of the hunt for a mate, be he human or paranormal.
Oscar Hinojosa was a werewolf from the Bronx. Roni read his information with amusement. “'I would like a woman who will nurture me and love me for who I am,’ he says. Meaning you want your mommy. No way, loser.” With a click of the mouse she closed the window.
The next profile opened quickly. The man staring back at her was attractive, with brown eyes, short hair, and a square jaw. Tony Bibosa was six foot two, two hundred and ten pounds. Human and proud of it. “Oh, God. One of those.” Roni rolled her eyes. “'My ideal woman is slender with a little extra junk in the trunk. No kids but the possibility for kids. She cannot smoke and cannot drink.'” Roni couldn't help but laugh. “You don't ask for much, do you? Translation is—a woman who is twig thin, doesn't want any kids because he doesn't want her to lose her figure. I think not.” Thankfully that was the end of the measly matches the website had found for her.
The three bad matches piqued Roni's curiosity. “What did Ana say about me in this profile?” She moved the mouse to the link that would take her to the profile Ana set up. “What the fuck is this?” Roni read through the profile with visions of a blonde vampire hanging from the ceiling fan. “Five foot seven? Try five foot five wearing my high heels.” Roni ground her teeth together. “Chubalicious? I'll kill her. So not complimentary, Ana!” Butcher knives and duct tape danced like sugarplums in her mind. “Honey brown eyes? Who am I, Winnie the Pooh? Screw this.” Roni hit the link that took her to the homepage of her personal profile, intending to correct the profile and exit. She saw another match had been found for her.
Curiosity made Roni move the mouse to the match link. She closed her eyes and prayed it wasn't another loser. Roni peeked an eye open. The picture staring back at her had her body trembling in lust. “Hello, baby!” Roni howled softly to herself.
Chiseled chin, piercing brown eyes, and a tumble of black hair didn't begin to describe the handsome and charismatic face of the man. Roni checked the profile again. Human, age thirty-three, who worked as an assistant to a general contractor. The dark tan indicated he was a hands-on kind of guy out in the sun and nature. She could easily imagine his lean and rangy body on display in a pair of well-worn jeans and tool belt. Yum.
She read the profile and tried not to drool on the keyboard. Corbin Thorne was six foot one, two hundred five pounds of work-built muscle. His profile read like a fantasy. “'My ideal woman would be of any body type, any fur or hair color. The only thing I request is that she has a personality that I could potentially fall in love with. I am willing to relocate or pay for her to relocate closer to me, and she must love dogs.’”