Night Sky (Satan's Sinners MC Book 3) (18 page)

WRITER

PAST

★★★

At sixteen years old, I am out on the streets and have been for the last six months. I couldn't take it at home anymore. I had enough of my dad's shit. I finally fought back, and I did good, until he got the upper hand then beat the shit outta me. So I left and didn't look back.

It's starting to get cold outside so I'm gonna have to find a blanket from somewhere, not sure where yet. Right now though, I need food. I haven't ate in a couple days and I can feel my body getting weak. You have to have meat on your bones to survive on the streets when it turns to winter, so I can't go days on end without food anymore.

I'm in the shadows of an alley, waiting on one of the restaurant workers to bring out their nightly trash. This isn't one of the classy places I go to sometimes, but they usually have plenty of food left over. Some they just threw out because no one wanted it. Some of it though, is from customers that can't finish all their food.

Man, if I could be one of those customers, I'd make sure to clean my plate. People who can afford to go out and eat or have a stove at home take it for granted, so much food goes to waste. I guess it's good in a way, for people like me with no money and no way to get anything. I'm left rummaging through garbage to get the leftovers from those people that toss it out.

The back exit of the restaurant opens up and out walks a kid, about my age, with a few black trash bags slung over his shoulders. Here we go, let's see what I can find. He throws them into the big green dumpster and starts to head back inside, but turns his head in my direction. The kid can probably feel me watching him, but he can't see me. I've learned you never make a move until they are back inside. If they catch you, they'll run you off and then you have to stay away from that one for awhile. Finally, he shuts the door behind him and I make my move.

I rip open the first trash bag, pulling out the shit I have no use for, like smaller trash bags or paper products.

Score!

I find a half eaten hamburger and a few fries laying in there first. I get the hamburger right up to my mouth when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Me, being deaf of course, I didn't hear anyone walk up behind me. It scares the shit outta me so I drop the burger and jump back away from the dumpster.

A big guy is standing there with tattoos, lots of tattoos. He has short salt and pepper hair with a mustache to match. He has a leather vest on and he is huge, not in a fat kinda way, but really fuckin' stalky, a lot bigger than my dad. By the looks of him, he is a biker and probably one I have seen riding around town.

I'm standing there, frozen for a second until my instinct to run takes over. Before I take off though, he puts his hands up in a surrendering position and he smiles at me. Right now, he isn't so terrifying, which surprises me because I should be scared outta my mind.

I tilt my head as I watch his mouth move, I have no idea what he is saying. I point to my ears and shake my head no letting him know I am deaf. I learned that is the easiest way to let people know. He makes a gesture like he is writing so I know he is asking if I have paper and a pen so I nod at him.

I always carry paper and a pen with me, so I pulled it out and hand it to him. He tells me his name is Bulk and that he is the president of the Satan's Sinners MC.

Bulk
: You got somewhere to stay, boy?

I shake my head no.

Bulk
: How old are you?

Jaxon
: 16.

Bulk
: What's your name?

Jaxon
: Jaxon Slade.

Bulk
: Not anymore. From now on, you are Writer. I'm taking you back to my club and you'll stay there with us. I don't know if you will ever have a part in the club, but you won't want for nothin' anymore. Understood?

Jaxon
: Yes, sir.

Bulk
: Good. I'll introduce you to the guys and you can stick with my son Hanger.

Bulk walked me over to his bike where there were a few other guys on their own bikes. He showed me how to get on his, then we headed to my new home, and the whole way there, I hoped that one day I could be just like these guys.

EVER

Die A Happy Man by Thomas Rhett

When I was in high school, I was always looking for love or affection from guys. I had friends and I had my sister, but I was still lonely. Maybe it had to do with me being deaf and not having anyone to communicate with, I'm really not sure. With me being into fashion, I always wore the nice clothes, and my makeup and hair were done to perfection. On the outside, I had so much confidence, but on the inside, I was lacking it all. I was shy, still am really, I was so insecure and just wanted some kind of attention. I wanted someone to make me feel beautiful.

I have always been so jealous of Zoey because she always got what I wanted. She got the hearing, then the boy, now the man she is going to marry with the kids.

At sixteen, when she started dating Andrew, that jealousy quickly changed when I knew there was something wrong. I knew he was abusing her and I tried to get her away from him numerous times. He had her sucked in though and there wasn't anything I could do about it. The harder I pushed, the harder she pulled away.

For a time, I had lost my twin and it hurt, it hurt so goddamn bad, and I felt even more isolated. I was on my own after that. I couldn't make many friends because they didn't know how to sign. I realized then that the friends I thought I had were just there because of Zoey. I had Jackie there with me, but who really wants to go through an interpreter for a conversation?

I started going to all the ‘in’crowd parties and drinking every weekend just to feel like I fit in. That is where I met Nick. He was the quarterback of the football team and the cutest boy I had ever seen. He had shaggy brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, athletic built with tanned skin. He started passing me notes in class, telling me how pretty he thought I was. Of course I fell for it, hook, line and sinker, so that following weekend we made plans to meet at a party.

When we finally met up that Friday night, I was well past wasted and that was the night I lost my virginity at sixteen years old. I lost it to a boy I thought liked me on the cool dirt ground in the woods with classmates all around us. The following Monday, he wouldn't look at me, no more notes, he didn't want anything to do with me. I was heartbroken. I went home crying my eyes out and my parents sat with me and comforted me. I mended with a whole lot of junk food.

Next came Daniel, who did the exact same thing. Then Austin, Dustin, and Derrick. It didn't matter how long I made them wait, I learned as soon as I gave it up they would be gone.

I was always just a pretty face with a hot body that couldn’t hear them talk shit about how much of a slut I was. I couldn't hear how I was the one that would give it up with little to no effort. Jackie did though, many times, and that is when I knew I had to pull my shit together and leave the boys alone. I did too, until Writer came along.

Writer never made me feel used or unwanted. He loved me so deeply and after our first time, he still wanted me. Then I chose to leave and give it all up, what a stupid bitch I was. I don't know why I couldn't realize then that I didn't have to move so far away to make my dreams come true.

I just let Writer fuck me against the wall in the Cobras' clubhouse and for the first time, he did use me. I thought I needed him and wanted him, but not like this. I want all of him and I realized, just in this moment, he's not ready for that. I am making the changes that I need to, but he has to do some changing of his own.

He keeps pushing me away, only to get something out of me when he needs it. I know he is fired up from the fight and I saw all of those women pawing at him. Oh god, this is going to hurt so bad to say this, but he just isn't ready for us either. This moment right here right now shows that.

The Writer from before I left would have never taken the chance of letting someone see us. He would have never treated me like one of those whores, and I let him do it because I thought I needed him so much. Don't get me wrong, I am happy he came to me instead of one of them, but we can't be like this.

Writer, this was a mistake.

What do you mean, this was a mistake?
His expression turns perplexed as he cages me in against the wall. People are going to start coming in any second now, I have to get out of here.

Look at what we just did. You fucked me against a wall when anyone could have saw us. You would never have done that before. I can also tell you are high, Writer. I know we used a condom, but what about the other women? Did you wrap it up with all the others? Oh God, I don't even want to think about how many there were.

He pushes back off of the wall, the confusion starts turning to anger.
Christ, Ever! Yes, I wrapped up with them every single time and I've been tested. What does me being high have to do with anything?

It has to do with a lot. I am doing what I need to, I am fighting for you. I am making the changes to prove to you I'm not going anywhere. I am moving forward. You are stuck in the same place you have been since I left. You aren't ready to let it all go, and you aren't making the changes that you need to for us to move on. You gotta give up the drugs and you have to let the past go.

Jesus, not you too.
Writer's hand hits the wall next to us before adding,
Why the fuck did you even come here?

Yeah me too, everyone can see it but you!

I look at him sadly as I continue
, You are hurting everyone around you and you gotta stop before you kill yourself. I came here to see if I can live with this side of you. I came here to see if I can live this life with you and stand beside you as your Ol' Lady someday.

And how did that work out for you?

Writer's arms cross and his brow cocks with a smugness I don't fucking like.

Let it go, Writer. Then we can talk.

I scoot out from between him and the wall, open the clubhouse door and walk away from him once again. The tears start falling when I get in my car and start it up. I head to my parents house to wash tonight away.

EVER

PAST

★★★

The guys have started a bonfire up behind the clubhouse and brought all the picnic tables, benches and chairs out here. They also brought out the stereo system and some of the whores are dancing around the fire. They reach out, trying to grab some of the guys with no such luck.

I am sitting on Writer's lap, watching all the people in the yard. Some of the guys are standing around with beers and others are sitting. The women are sitting on laps, dancing, or talking happily. Everyone is having such a good time and I feel so happy and content, it's like I finally fit in somewhere.