Nights with Uncle Remus (39 page)

“Brer Fox, he laugh en he laugh, en ole Brer Wolf, he look mighty glum. Brer Fox ax 'im is he done kilt en e't Mr. Benjermun Ram, en ef so be, is he lef' any fer him. Brer Wolf say he aint feelin' well, en he don't lak mutton nohow. Brer Fox 'low:

“ ‘You may be puny in de min', Brer Wolf, but you aint feelin' bad in de leg, kaze I done seed you wuk um.'

“Brer Wolf 'low he des a runnin' fer ter see ef twont make 'im feel better. Brer Fox, he say, sezee, dat w'en he feelin' puny, he aint ax no mo' dan fer somebody fer ter git out de way en let 'im lay down.

“Dey went on in dis away, dey did, twel bimeby Brer Fox ax Brer Wolf ef he'll go wid 'im fer ter ketch Mr. Benjermun Ram. Brer Wolf, he 'low, he did:

“ ‘Eh-eh, Brer Fox! I fear'd you'll run en lef' me dar fer ter do all de fightin'.'

“Brer Fox, he 'low dat he'll fix dat, en he tuck'n got 'im a plough-line, en tied one een' ter Brer Wolf en t'er een' ter he own se'f. What dat dey put out fer Mr. Benjermun Ram house. Brer Wolf, he sorter hang back, but he 'shame' fer ter say he skeer'd, en dey went on en went on plum twel dey git right spang up ter Mr. Benjermun Ram house.

“W'en dey git dar, de ole creetur wuz settin' out in de front po'ch sorter sunnin' his se'f. He see um comin', en w'en dey git up in hailin' distance, he sorter cle'r up he th'oat, he did, en holler out:

“ ‘I much 'blije to you, Brer Fox, fer ketchin' dat owdashus vilyn en fetchin' 'im back. My smoke-'ouse runnin' short, en I'll des chop 'im up en pickle 'im. Fetch 'im in, Brer Fox! fetch 'im in!'

“Des 'bout dat time ole Miss Ram see dem creeturs a-comin', en gentermens! you mought er yeard er blate plum ter town. Mr. Benjermun Ram, he sorter skeer'd hisse'f, but he keep on talkin':

“ ‘Fetch 'im in, Brer Fox! fetch 'im in! Don't you year my ole 'oman cryin' fer 'im? She aint had no wolf meat now in gwine on mighty nigh a mont'. Fetch 'im in, Brer Fox! fetch 'im in!'

“Fus' Brer Wolf try ter ontie hisse'f, den he tuck'n broke en run'd, en he drag ole Brer Fox atter 'im des lak he aint weigh mo'n a poun', en I let you know hit 'uz many a long day 'fo' Brer Fox git well er de thumpin' he got.”

“Uncle Remus,” said the little boy after a while, “I thought wolves always caught sheep when they had the chance.”

“Dey ketches lam's, honey, but bless yo' soul! dey aint ketch deze yer ole-time Rams wid red eye en wrinkly hawn.”

“Where was Brother Rabbit all this time?”

“Now, den, honey, don't less pester wid ole Brer Rabbit right now. Des less gin 'im one night rest, mo' spechually w'en I year de seven stares say yo' bed-time done come. Des take yo' foot in yo' han' en put right out 'fo' Miss Sally come a callin' you, kaze den she'll say I'm a settin' yer a noddin' en not takin' keer un you.”

The child laughed and ran up the path to the big-house, stopping a moment on the way to mimic a bull-frog that was bellowing at a tremendous rate near the spring.

L

Not many nights after the story of how Mr. Benjamin Ram frightened Brother Wolf and Brother Fox, the little boy found himself in Uncle Remus's cabin. It had occurred to him that Mr. Ram should have played on his fiddle somewhere in the tale, and Uncle Remus was called on to explain. He looked at the little boy with an air of grieved astonishment, and exclaimed:

“Well, I be bless if I ever year der beat er dat. Yer you bin a-persooin' on atter deze yer creeturs en makin' der 'quaintunce, en yit look lak ef you 'uz ter meet um right up dar in der paff you'd fergit all 'bout who dey is.”

“Oh, no, I wouldn't,” Uncle Remus!” protested the child, glancing at the door and getting a little closer to the old man.

“Yasser! you'd des natally whirl in en forgit 'bout who dey is. Taint so mighty long sence I done tole you 'bout ole Mr. Benjermun Ram playin' he fiddle at Brer Wolf house, en yer you come an ax me how come he don't take en play it at 'im 'g'in. W'at kinder lookin' sight 'ud dat ole creetur a-bin ef he'd jump up en grab he fiddle en go ter playin' on it eve'y time he year a fuss down de big road?”

The little boy said nothing, but he thought the story would have been a great deal nicer if Mr. Benjamin Ram could have played one of the old-time tunes on his fiddle, and while he was thinking about it, the door opened and Aunt Tempy made her appearance. Her good-humor was infectious.

“Name er goodness!” she exclaimed, “I lef' you all settin' yer way las' week; I goes off un I does my wuk, un I comes back, un I fines you settin' right whar I lef' you. Goodness knows, I dunner whar you gits yo' vittles. I dunner what I aint bin sence I lef' you all settin' yer. I let you know I bin a-usin' my feet un I been a-usin' my han's. Dat's me. No use ter ax how you all is, kaze you looks lots better'n me.”

“Yas, Sis Tempy, we er settin' yer whar you lef' us, en der Lord, he bin a pervidin'. W'en de vittles don't come in at de do' hit come down de chimbly, en so w'at de odds? We er sorter po'ly, Sis Tempy, I'm 'blige ter you. You know w'at de jay-bird say ter der squinch-owl! ‘I'm sickly but sassy.' ”

Aunty Tempy laughed as she replied: “I speck you all bin a havin' lots er fun. Goodness kows I wish many a time sence I bin gone dat I 'uz settin' down yer runnin' wid you all. I aint bin gone fur—dat's so, yit Mistiss put me ter cuttin'-out, un I tell you now dem w'at cuts out de duds fer all de niggers on dis place is got ter wuk fum soon in de mawnin' plum tell bed-time, dey aint no two ways. Taint no wuk youk'n kyar' 'bout wid you needer, kaze you got ter spread it right out on de flo' un' git down on yo' knees. I mighty glad I done wid it, kaze my back feel like it done broke in a tous'n pieces. Honey, is Brer Remus bin a-tellin' yo some mo' er dem ole-time tales?”

Aunt Tempy's question gave the little boy an excuse for giving her brief outlines of some of the stories. One that he seemed to remember particularly well was the story of how Brother Rabbit and Brother Fox killed a cow, and how Brother Rabbit got the most and the best of the beef.

“I done year talk uv a tale like dat,” exclaimed Aunt Tempy, laughing heartily, “but 'taint de same tale. I mos' 'shame' ter tell it.”

“You gittin' too ole ter be blushin', Sis Tempy,” said Uncle Remus with dignity.

“Well den,” said Aunt Tempy, wiping her fat face with her apron: “One time Brer Rabbit un Brer Wolf tuck'n gone off som'ers un kilt a cow, un w'en dey come fer ter vide out de kyarkiss, Brer Wolf 'low dat bein's he de biggest he oughter have de mos', un he light in, he did, un do like he gwine ter take it all. Brer Rabbit do like he don't keer much, but he keer so bad hit make 'im right sick. He tuck'n walk all 'roun' de kyarkiss, he did, un snuff de air, un terreckly he say:

“ ‘Brer Wolf!—O Brer Wolf!—is dis meat smell 'zuckly right ter you?'

“Brer Wolf, he cuttin' un he kyarvin' un he aint sayin' nothin. Brer Rabbit, he walk all 'roun' un 'roun' de kyarkiss. He feel it un he kick it. Terreckly he say:

“ ‘Brer Wolf!—O Brer Wolf!—Dis meat feel mighty flabby ter me; how it feel ter you?'

“Brer Wolf, he year all dat's said, but he keep on a cuttin' un a kyarvin'. Brer Rabbit say:

“ ‘You kin talk er not talk, Brer Wolf, dez ez youer min' ter, yit ef I aint mistooken in de sign, you'll do some tall talkin' 'fo' youer done wid dis beef. Now you mark w'at I tell you!'

“Brer Rabbit put out fum dar, en 'twan't long 'fo' yer he come back wid a chunk er fier, un a dish er salt. W'en Brer Wolf see dis, he say:

“ ‘What yo gwine do wid all dat, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘Bless yo' soul, Brer Wolf! I aint gwine ter kyar er poun' er dis meat home till I fin' out w'at de matter wid it. No I aint—so dar now!'

“Den Brer Rabbit built 'im a fier un cut 'im off a slishe er steak un br'ilte it good un done, un den he e't little uv it. Fush' he'd tas'e um den he'd nibble; den he'd nibble up den he'd tas'e. He keep on tell he e't right smart piece. Den he went'n sot off little ways like he waitin' for sump'n.

“Brer Wolf, he kyarve un he cut, he but keep one eye on Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit sot up dar some ez Judge on de bench. Brer Wolf, he watch his motions. Terreckly Brer Rabbit fling bofe han's up ter he head un fetch a groan. Brer Wolf cut un kyarve un watch Brer Rabbit motions. Brer Rabbit sorter sway backerds un forrerds un fetch n'er groan. Den he sway fum side to side en holler ‘O Lordy!' Brer Wolf, he sorter 'gun ter git skeer'd un he ax Brer Rabbit w'at de matter. Brer Rabbit, he roll on de groun' en holler:

“ ‘O Lordy, Lordy! I'm pizen'd, I'm pizen'd! O Lordy! I'm pizen'd! Run yer, somebody, run yer! De meat done got pizen on it. Oh, de run yer!'

“Brer Wolf git so skeer'd dat he put out fum dar, un he want out er sight skacely 'fo' Brer Rabbit jump up fum dar un cut de pidjin-wing, un 'twan't so mighty long atter dat 'fo' Brer Rabbit put all er dat beef in his smokehouse.”

“What become of Brother Wolf?” the little boy inquired.

“Brer Wolf went atter de doctor,” continued Aunt Tempy, making little tucks in her apron, “un w'en he come back Brer Rabbit un de beef done gone; un, bless goodness, ef it hadn't er bin fer de sign whar Brer Rabbit built de fier, Brer Wolf would er bin mighty pester'd fer ter fine der place whar de cow bin kilt.”

At this juncture, 'Tildy, the house-girl, came in to tell Aunt Tempy that one of the little negroes had been taken suddenly sick.

“I bin huntin' fer you over de whole blessid place,” said 'Tildy.

“No you aint—no you aint. You aint bin huntin' nowhar. You know'd mighty well whar I wuz.”

“Law, Mam' Tempy, I can't keep up wid you. How I know you down yer courtin' wid Unk Remus?”

“Yo' head mighty full er courtin', you nas' stinkin' huzzy!” exclaimed Aunt Tempy.

Uncle Remus, strange to say, was unmoved. He simply said:

“W'en you see dat ar 'Tildy gal pirootin' 'roun I boun' you ole Brer Affikin Jack aint fur off. 'Twon't be so mighty long 'fo' de ole creetur'll show up.”

“How you know dat, Unk Remus?” exclaimed 'Tildy, showing her white teeth and stretching her eyes. “Hit's de Lord's trufe; Mass Jeems done writ a letter ter Miss Sally, an' he say in dat letter dat Daddy Jack ax 'im fer ter tell Miss Sally ter tell me dat he'll be up yer dis week. Dat ole Affikin ape got de impidence er de Ole Boy. He dunner who he foolin' 'longer!”

LI

The next night the little boy hardly waited to eat his supper before going to Uncle Remus's house; and when Aunt Tempy failed to put in an appearance as early as he thought necessary, he did not hesitate to go after her. He had an idea that there was a sequel to the story she had told the night before, and he was right. After protesting against being dragged around from post to pillar by children, Aunt Tempy said:

“Atter Brer Rabbit tuck'n make out he uz pizen'd un git all de beef, 'twant long 'fo' he chance to meet ole Brer Wolf right spang in de middle uv de road. Brer Rabbit, he sorter shied off ter one side, but Brer Wolf hail 'im:

“ ‘W'oa dar, my colty! don't be so gaily. You better be 'shame' yo'se'f 'bout de way you do me w'en we go inter cahoots wid dat beef.'

“Brer Rabbit, he up'n ax Brer Wolf how all his folks. Brer Wolf say:

“ ‘You'll fin' out how dey all is 'fo' dis day gone by. You took'n took de beef, un now I'm a gwine ter take'n take you.'

“Wid dis Brer Wolf make a dash at Brer Rabbit, but he des lack a little bit uv bein' quick 'nuff, un Brer Rabbit he des went a sailin' thoo de woods. Brer Wolf, he tuck atter 'im, un yer dey had it—fus' Brer Rabbit un den Brer Wolf. Brer Rabbit mo' soopler dan Brer Wolf, but Brer Wolf got de 'vantage er de win', en terreckly he push Brer Rabbit so close dat he run in a holler log.

“Brer Rabbit bin in dat log befo' un he know dey's a hole at de t'er een', en he des keep on a'gwine. He dart in one een' an he slip out de udder. He aint stop ter say goo'-bye; bless you! he des keep on gwine.

“Brer Wolf, he see Brer Rabbit run in de holler log, un he say ter hisse'f:

“ ‘Heyo, dey bin callin' you so mighty cunnin' all dis time, un yer you done gone un shot yo'se'f up in my trap.'

“Den Brer Wolf laugh un lay down by de een' whar Brer Rabbit went in, un pant un res' hisse'f. He see whar Brer B'ar burnin' off a new-groun, un he holler un ax 'im fer ter fetch 'im a chunk er fier, un Brer B'ar he fotch it, en dey sot fier ter de holler log, un dey sot dar un watch it till it burn plum up. Den dey took'n shuck han's, en Brer Wolf say he hope dat atter dat dey'll have some peace in de neighborhoods.”

Uncle Remus smiled a knowing smile as he filled his pipe, but Aunt Tempy continued with great seriousness:

“One time atter dat, Brer Wolf, he took'n pay a call down ter Miss Meadows, un w'en he git dar un see Brer Rabbit settin' up side uv one er de gals, he like to a fainted, dat he did. He 'uz dat 'stonish'd dat he look right down-hearted all endurin' uv de party.

“Brer Rabbit, he bow'd his howdies ter Brer Wolf un shuck han's 'long wid 'im, des like nothin' aint never happen 'twixt 'um, un he up'n say:

“ ‘Ah-law, Brer Wolf! Youer much mo' my fr'en' dan you ever speckted ter be, un you kin des count on me right straight 'long.'