Nikolai 2 (Her Russian Protector #6) (37 page)

A simple black nightgown covered her naked body. The lace trim flattered her cleavage. He tried not to think about Niels giving her that flimsy bit of lingerie for the night. A man like Niels probably had a department store's worth of women's underthings for his lovers.

Though he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Vivian, to embrace her and beg her forgiveness and a chance to start over, he ducked into the bathroom instead. Filthy from a night on the sea, he needed a good scrub. The cabinet under the sink held a selection of toiletries for overnight guests. He smirked at the boxes of condoms, dental dams and lubricants. Niels clearly believed in seeing to every need that might arise for his guests.

After a long, hot shower, he emerged from the bathroom with only a towel tied around his waist. The light from the bathroom illuminated the space, and he spotted Vivian sitting on the edge of the tall bed. Her bare legs dangled over the side, and the short negligee had bunched around the tops of her thighs.

As if nervous, she combed her fingers through her hair to tame it. She didn't need to bother with such things. Messy hair, perfect hair—he didn't care. She was always beautiful.

Vivian bit her lower lip and stared at him. There was no mistaking the glimmer of fear in her eyes or the concern drawing her mouth tight. Loathing himself for causing her so much stress, he crossed the distance between them with slow, deliberate steps. She gazed up at him, her confused expression a mirror of her emotions.

Nikolai was suddenly thrown back to the night they had gotten their matching tattoos. It was the night he had confessed that she was the only person in the world who could bring him to his knees. Wanting her to remember that, wanting to rewind the clock and return to the moment when everything was good and wonderful and beautiful between them, he dropped down in front of her.

Heart pounding and mouth dry, he didn't know what to say. There were so many words, but none of them came close to describing his love for her. Feeling vulnerable and exposed but trusting that she wouldn't spurn or hurt him, Nikolai slid his arms around her waist and rested his cheek on her thighs. "I'm sorry. It's not enough, I know, but I'm sorry. For everything." Eyes closed, he said, "
Ya tebya lyublyu
."

I love you.

He pressed a tender kiss to the soft skin of her leg. "
Ya lyublyu tebya vsey dushoy
.
"

I love you with all of my soul.

He pressed a loving kiss to the rounded curve of her pregnant belly. "
Ya ne mogu zhit' bez tebya.
"

I can't live without you.

He dropped his head into her lap. "
Ty nuzhna myne."

I need you.

Vivian's gentle hands stroked his head. She rubbed between his shoulder blades and dragged her fingers through his hair. "
Ty nuzhen mne
."

I need you.

She tugged on a handful of his hair, not painfully but with enough pressure that he looked up at her. "
Ya lyublyu tebya vsem serdtsem
."

I love you with all of my heart.

"But you have to be honest with me, Nikolai." Her eyes glittered with unshed tears. "No more lies. We start over right now with the truth—or else."

Her unspoken threat rattled him to the core. "No more lies, Vee."

"I mean it, Nikolai. Everything has to be out on the table."

He nuzzled her belly. "I'll tell you anything you want to know."

She clutched his face between her small hands and lifted his head. The tears glimmering in her eyes began to spill down her cheeks. "Is Tatiana your mistress?"

He sagged back on his heels. "No!"

"Do you have a child with her?"

"What?" He went ramrod straight. "Why would you ask—?"

"I heard you. At Quattro. I heard everything."

Yes, it was clear that she had heard more than he had ever intended—but completely out of context.

Vivian sobbed now. "Do you love her?"

"Oh, baby." He whispered the words on an anguished breath and gathered her in his arms. "No. Never. Never like that."

"Swear it."

"I swear." He put a knee on the bed and dragged her up against the pillows before dropping down beside her. Locking a leg over hers, he pulled her in tight and gazed down at his wife.
Mine. Always.

He sifted his fingers through her hair and traced her pouty lips with his thumb. "I've never even kissed Tatiana."

To prove his point, he lowered his hand to the swell of her stomach. It amazed him to think his child was growing in there. "This is the only child I have ever made. You," he kissed her lovingly, "are the only woman I have ever shared this with. You're the only one I trust with something so precious."

Nikolai took his time loving her mouth. He relished the sweet softness of her lips and kissed away the tears clinging to her skin. When she had quieted and seemed calm, he stroked her face. "It's time for me to tell you a story."

"About?"

"About a boy and a girl," he said with a teasing smile. "That's how they usually start anyway."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Which boy and girl?"

"Tatiana Filipova."

"And?"

Nikolai steeled himself for her reaction. "Eric Santos."

Vivian stiffened and bolted upright. Her hair fell around her face as she gawked down at him, and she roughly shoved it behind her ear. "Bullshit!"

He shook his head. "Not bullshit. It's the truth."

"But—"

"Haven't you ever wondered why Eric hates me so much?"

"I just assumed it was because of your connection to the mob and to me."

"That's a large part of it, yes, but my history with Eric goes back a decade."

Vivian slumped against the pillows and rolled onto her side. "Tell me all of it."

"I first met Eric when he was just a beat cop. It wasn't long after the night I—"

"Shot me?" she filled in with a sad voice.

He grimaced and hugged her even closer. "Yes. It might have been late May of that year. I think he suspected I had more to do with the shooting than was publicly known. He pulled me over and did the usual frisk and search. When he didn't find anything, he warned me to stay away from your grandparents and you. I didn't know who the hell he was until later that night when Kostya filled in the blanks for me." Nikolai brushed hair back from her face. "Even back then, Eric was looking out for you."

"I didn't know that. We didn't get close until I was starting high school."

"He wanted to protect you. Whatever my disagreements with Eric, I've always admired and respected him for that."

"Maybe you should tell him that."

He snorted. "Not a chance in hell."

"Nikolai!" She swatted at him, but he captured her hand and brought it to his mouth where he proceeded to kiss the fingertips that held paintbrushes and created such exquisite art.

"Tatiana joined me in Houston not long after that. She had been accepted into an MBA program, and our fathers thought it was time for us to get close. We hated each other at first. She thought I was a bastard and worse than the shit scraped off the bottom of a boot, and I thought she was a spoiled, rich bitch."

"Ouch."

"Yes," he murmured, thinking of their spectacular fights. Looking back, he realized they fought more like siblings than lovers. "Eventually, we realized we were better off as friends than enemies. Neither of us wanted to get married. That was an unholy alliance that we couldn't stomach. I turned a blind eye to her going to clubs and parties, and she left me alone when it came to my business. When she finished her MBA, I made sure that she got a good job with one of the energy trading firms. She taught me everything she could about running a business, accounting and tax laws."

Nikolai paused and gathered his thoughts. "I knew that she was seeing someone, and I knew that it was getting serious, but she wouldn't tell me his name. I had Kostya follow her a few times, just to be sure that she was safe, but she gave him the slip. She was good. So fucking good," he said with a laugh. "If she had been a freelancer, I would have snapped her right up and put her on my payroll. She's a natural when it comes to tradecraft."

He wiped a hand down his face. Next to him, Vivian patiently waited for him to continue his tale. "Tatiana's father started to get impatient when we still hadn’t set a date. I was finding it hard to come up with believable reasons to put him off, and Maksim was starting to ride my ass about getting it done. Tatiana's father was holding a hard line on negotiations and making his life miserable."

He expelled a slow breath. "So Tatiana and I sat down and decided that we would go through with it. We would get married and share the same home—but live separate lives."

Vivian made a noise of disbelief. "I find that hard to believe."

He tried to see things from her point of view. She had only ever known him to be a protective, possessive and alpha husband. "The way I am with you is different, Vee. The three weeks you were in my home before I married you were the hardest, longest weeks of my life." He decided not to admit that doing a bid in solitary was easier than keeping his hands off of her. "Tatiana and I would have kept separate rooms. There would have been no intimacy between us."

"So what went wrong?"

"On the night of our engagement party, she went missing before I gave my toast. I sent Artyom and Ten to find her."

"And?"

"And they found Tatiana and Eric in an alley."

"And?"

He avoided her questioning stare. He didn't imagine she wanted to hear that her cousin had been discovered balls deep and pumping into Tatiana as he fucked her against a wall. "They were in a rather precarious position."

"No!"

"Yes," he grimly confirmed.

"What happened?"

"What do you think? Ten lost his fucking shit, and Artyom had to run inside to grab Vanya. Once I spotted Vanya rushing out of the party, I hauled ass because I was sure we were being attacked or worse. When I got out there, Vanya, Ten and Eric were brawling in the alley. Artyom was holding Tatiana to keep her from getting hurt. I stepped in front of Eric and shoved him out of the way—and Ten hit me so hard I was knocked off my feet."

"Looks like we have something new in common," she remarked.

"How so?"

"I stepped in between Eric and Ten when they were fighting at our house. Eric threw me out of the way, and Ten punched a lamp instead."

"He did
what
?" Anger burned through him. What the fuck was Ten thinking picking a fight in his home? With his pregnant wife standing right there? "When I get back to Houston, I'm going to break his fucking kneecaps."

"No, you aren't." Vivian petted his chest. "I need him."

He turned his head. "That's a different tune from you."

"He's been good to me. In his own way," she amended. "When I opened my luggage, I found a bag of burner phones programmed with emergency contacts and the address of a safe house. Ten has checked in on me every day."

Nikolai shouldn't have been surprised by Ten's behavior. The man had a list of faults a mile long, but he always completed the jobs assigned to him. He was utterly devoted and loyal. Nikolai breathed easier knowing that Ten's loyalty had shifted to Vivian. She and the baby were in good hands.

Curious, he asked, "Where is the safe house?" Vivian recited the address, and he went rigid. Very carefully, he inquired, "Did Ten tell you anything about that place?"

"He just told me not to sit on the bed if they gave me a room. Bed bugs, I guess."

Nikolai guffawed and rubbed his eyes. "
Kotonok
, he gave you the address of an infamous whorehouse that an acquaintance of ours owns."

"What?" she indignantly cried. "He wanted me to seek refuge in a—a—brothel?"

"You would have been safe there."

"I would have been mortified."

"But alive," Nikolai countered. "That's all matters in the end." He shifted his position so he could caress her side while he finished his story. His hand moved from her breast to her hip and back up again in slow, easy strokes. "After I got them all separated, I had Artyom take Eric home. I trusted him not to do anything stupid. Ivan was the only one who could handle Ten so I sent them away together. I took Tatiana back inside the restaurant. We cleaned up as best we could, skipped the toast and made it look as if we couldn't wait to get home."

"And then what happened?"

"Tatiana told me everything. She had met Eric through a college friend. There was an instant attraction, and before she could stop it, they were madly in love. They carried on in secret, but Eric wanted to go public. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to take her away."

"So why didn't he?"

"Maksim and Tatiana's father never would have allowed it. They would have killed him if they had known about him."

"How is he still alive?" She sounded worried and nervous.