No Man's Land (34 page)

“Is your wine any good?”

The werewolf made a noise somewhere between a snort and a hacking cough. “No. Tastes like shit. I’ll break it out with great ceremony at the next pack event, and everyone will drink a few glasses and tell me how marvelous it is.”

Where was he going with this?

“They’ll lie to you.” She understood lies. Kelly really understood lies. The important thing was to not get caught.

Jonah took his knife and smoothed out a rough spot on the peg. “We lie if it does us no good but benefits another. That’s an honorable lie. A lie that benefits the liar but harms others is disgraceful.”

Kelly raised an eyebrow. Sounded like a feel–good load of bologna to her. “So how does it benefit you if everyone lies about the quality of your wine? Wouldn’t it be better if they told you it was wretched, so you could strive to improve?”

“I have no ambitions of being a professional. This is a hobby, and hobbies are to bring joy and satisfaction to the creator, regardless of the quality of the work. It’s important to know those you are lying to, to understand their hearts and desires, otherwise your lie may do harm.”

Total bologna. The cheap kind, with the red plastic around the edges.

“I’m going to call bullshit on that one. The liars
do
benefit — by avoiding your anger, or toadying for your favor. They don’t lie to spare your feelings; they lie to preserve their status, and possibly their lives.”

The alpha sighed, lowering his knife to rest on his thigh. “And that’s what worries me, little vampire. How long has it been since you were turned? A century? Hundred and fifty? You’re bitter, and it colors everything you see. You’ll never fit in here — not because you’re a vampire, but because you’ll never see the world as anything but a hostile place where the only thing that matters is your own survival. I suspect you were that way as a human too, but no matter. Old dogs can’t learn new tricks, and I doubt you can either.”

Kelly blinked back the tears that stung her eyes. She’d never been given a chance to trust anyone. It wasn’t her fault she’d always lived in survival mode. Given the opportunity, she
would
put another first, would trust them.
George
. His face rose from her memories, sleep–tousled hair and mischief in his blue eyes. The image was quickly overlaid by another — a dusty corpse sprawled in a dank corner, silver ring on a bony finger. She’d not trusted him; she’d not put him first. She’d left and never looked back. Maybe this werewolf was right.

Jonah turned sharp eyes to her. “Vampires. From what I’ve been told, you all live in tight–knit family units with clearly defined roles and responsibilities. You work to serve the greater good of the family, and especially your Master. It’s kind of like bees in a hive, isn’t it? Each doing the job best suited to him or her. Each sacrificing personal gain for the good of the group. Sacrifice of the self, all striving toward bettering the family, the Master orchestrating every move with an eye to the long term. How on earth did you fit in there, Kelly?”

Screw it. She was dead anyway. Might as well go out with a bang. “I fit in just fine. It looks like a great social collective from the outside, but it’s not. We all hedge our bets. Every single one of us plots to rise in favor by well–placed knives in the backs of our brothers and sisters. We scheme; we lie; we plot; we embezzle money — all while smiling and pretending we’re serving the Master.”

“And does he know this? Your Master?”

“Of course. We’re not a hive; we’re a coliseum with gladiatorial games twenty four seven. There’s enough forward momentum to get things done — competition does have some benefit to the family as a whole — but those at the top do enjoy watching the soap–opera of Machiavellian intrigue that’s right under their noses.”

“Humph.” The werewolf tossed the knife in the air, catching it by the handle as it rotated, all the while never taking his eyes from Kelly. “What do you think qualifies me to be Alpha, young vampire?”

She had no freaking idea. This stupid werewolf jumped topics with the speed of light. All Kelly knew was that she was pissed. She’d sacrificed everything, had nowhere else to go. If these werewolves didn’t accept her, she was as good as dead, but she still couldn’t bring herself to grovel. Waiting for her death in that horrible casino hallway had her frozen in fear, but this time facing her death was liberating. If he killed her here and now, or if she fell to a knife in the back, it didn’t matter. She was free, and this werewolf wasn’t going to intimidate her.

“You’re old? The most powerful? You defeated all your opponents in hand–to–hand combat? You’re the best Tiddly Wink player in the northeast region?”

The werewolf glared. “I’m not
that
old. Power, yes, but there are probably a few werewolves in the pack that could take me one–on–one. Jaq could wipe the floor with me, but she’s special. It’s power in numbers, my girl. We don’t vote or nothing, but the pack backs the person they feel will best serve their interests. I’d give my life protecting each and every one of my wolves, and one day I probably will. I never put my own safety above the needs of others, and my own children don’t rate higher than any wolf in this pack. That’s a hard thing to say, but it’s what makes an Alpha.”

“Mmmm.” All this talk of self–sacrifice was getting old. Lovely rhetoric, but who knows what this guy would do when faced with a choice. Whatever. She wasn’t about to get into a pissing match over it. Let the old guy believe what he wanted.

“That’s why Jaq will never be an Alpha.”

What? Kelly’s brain screeched to a halt, and adrenaline rushed through her body. Every cell was on high alert. “Jaq is kind and generous. Just because she doesn’t have some screwed up martyr complex doesn’t mean she’s not Alpha material.”

“She sheltered a vampire, risked the safety of both werewolves and the humans we call our friends to satisfy her own personal wishes. Then, she not only shares her blood with you, but she tells you what she is. She tells you secrets that endanger our entire species.”

Kelly’s temper snapped. “Well there goes all that lovely talk about trust. And how do you know if her actions will work to the pack’s benefit better than your isolationist dogma, you hypocritical, short–sighted, racist prick?”

Jonah snarled, stabbing the pocket knife halfway through the wooden bench. “Because you are not just a vampire; you’re selfish and immoral. You’ll sell us out the moment it’s to your advantage.”

Kelly tried to rein in her temper. It’s what got her in this mess in the first place. It was no use. “Oh yeah. I’ve got the angels on speed dial. They’ll totally believe some barely turned, cast–off vampire and come rushing over here to exterminate every last one of you. And the rewards! Oh my, I’ll be sitting high up on a throne with my own family to feed me peeled grapes and fan me with palm fronds. Are you insane? There is no advantage. None. And I don’t care what you believe; I’d never betray Jaq.”

Jonah puffed his cheeks out with air and let out a sound of disbelief. Then he turned and yanked the knife free from the bench, once again shaving bits off his cask plug.

“If it will make you feel any better, I’ll share a secret with you. The vampires are all dead. They died out thousands of years ago. We’re all turned humans, and the whole Born lineage stuff is bullshit.”

The werewolf sliced clean through his thumb. He cursed and shook his hand, blood flying before he stuck it in his mouth.

“Yeah. None of the other vampires know. Well, maybe some of the Born Masters do, but they’re not going to tell anyone. So how did I find out this juicy tidbit of gossip, you ask? Demons. I handled all the VIPs for the casino, and while they are the most boorish, rude, difficult customers I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with, they have an excellent ability to sense and trace DNA. I helped a thirty–thousand–year–old demon enjoy a vacation without an angel breathing down his neck, and he was happy to tell me all about my family’s lineage and his long, close history with the vampire race.”

It was a lie. Kelly paused to wonder for a moment whether the lie benefited her or the alpha, whether it met his definition of “excusable” or not. Associations with demons seemed to give her some street cred with the werewolves, so maybe it was to her benefit. Ah well, selfish habits die hard.

“And while we’re discussing my immoral and selfish ways, here.” She pulled a large envelope from the waistband of her oversized sweatpants and handed it to Jonah. “I’ve got a little gift her for you.”

Jonah made a muffled noise, his thumb stuck firmly in his mouth as he took the packet with his other hand and shook the contents out on his lap. Papers spilled out across his thighs, some sliding to the ground. Picking one up, the alpha’s eyes widened.

“Terrible, aren’t I? Been embezzling from my own family for a century, then I top it all off with a huge hack job that stole millions in one click. And now you’ve got your own moral dilemma. All those businesses, that entire trust fund is for the pack. They’d never have to worry about being financially forced from their lands again. Of course, they’d be profiting from ill–gotten gains, accepting gifts from a horrid vampire.”

Kelly leaned forward, letting all her vampire–self come to the forefront. Smooth and agile, quick with an inhuman flexibility; she edged in close and looked him directly in the eyes.

“Buying acceptance into a family is the vampire way. Taking a little off the top to ensure your own security is the vampire way. You could accept the Consort’s proposal, welcome me into the pack. You could keep everything and slide a knife through my ribs. Or you could throw it all in my face and tell me to get out, knowing that the next vampire battle might signal the end for your pack. What a difficult set of choices, huh?”

For once Jonah was speechless, staring at the vampire with his mouth open. Kelly smiled and backed up a few paces.

“We’re even, old man. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to leave with my friend, the not–Alpha–potential half–angel. Please let us know your decision.”

36

K
elly stormed into the house. At least Jaq was in the kitchen and she didn’t have to go wandering all over the place looking for her. Jaq looked up as she burst in the door, frowning when she saw Kelly’s face.

“What happened?”

“We’re leaving. Now,” Kelly snapped. The woman next to Jaq backed slowly away from them, keeping her eyes on Kelly the whole time.

“What did he say?” Jaq demanded, hands on her hips.

“A lot of nonsense about his winemaking hobby and no clear answer on the Kincaid proposal.” She wasn’t about to tell Jaq about Jonah’s hurtful words. The werewolf respected her alpha, spoke of him with great regard. Kelly didn’t want to smash Jaq’s opinion of him. The same with Jonah’s opinion of her. Let the man make his decision. Either way, she’d made hers.

Jaq sighed, turning to the other woman. “I’m sorry, Ellen. I’ll come back later.”

“Sure, Jaq. No problem.” The woman looked nervously at Kelly, her face registering relief as the vampire moved toward the door.

Kelly fumed as they drove home. She’d not expected to be welcomed with open arms, but neither did she expect to be insulted and refused outright.

“You okay?” Jaq reached out to cover Kelly’s hand with her own.

No, she wasn’t okay, but she was going to make the best of what she had.
Keep moving forward, even if you find yourself standing alone.

“I’m going to go to Leesburg tonight and help the Kincaids. I don’t know if it will make any difference, but at least I’ll feel like I held up my end of the bargain.”

“I’ll go with you.” There was no hesitation in Jaq’s response, and Kelly smiled, squeezing the werewolf’s hand in hers.

“There’s something I need to tell you before you go following me into the abyss. A confession of sorts.”

“Shoot.” The werewolf’s tone was casual, but worry lines creased the corners of her eyes.

“Leaving George wasn’t the only bad thing I’ve done. I’m not going to give you a bunch of excuses about my past to justify my actions. I’m not a good person.”

Jaq shrugged. “You’re a vampire. I didn’t expect you to be a saint.”

“But I don’t think you really understand what that means. We routinely betray other members of our family, make them look bad so we get a coveted position or advance in some way. We embezzle money — I embezzle money. I’ve skimmed off the top of jobs for a century, taken pay offs, even diverted an entire shipment of illegal drugs then arranged to have my ‘partners’ killed. I’ve stolen from my family.”

Jaq shook her head. “Kelly, I’m not going to judge you for your past, only for who you are now — for your actions today.”

“How about yesterday? Cause that’s when I sabotaged four of my family’s companies, stealing every dime from them.”

“What, all eleven dollars and twelve cents?”

Kelly quoted a number. Her heart sank as Jaq’s frown deepened.

“And now you’re wondering if I’d do the same to the pack. Steal from them, set them up and frame them for stuff just to get ahead. You’re wondering if I’d betray the whole lot of you the moment a better offer comes along.”

“No, I’m wondering which island in the South Pacific you intend to buy with all that stinking money. And how I’m going to keep some really pissed off vampires from killing you once they trace this your way.”

“Seriously, Jaq. Your Alpha doesn’t trust me; the rest of the pack doesn’t trust me. Be honest; deep down inside, you can’t possibly trust me either.”

The werewolf pulled over to the side of the road and turned to face Kelly. “I have no idea where you’re going with all this so I’ll play along. Will you steal from the pack, stab everyone in the back, and abandon us the moment the going gets tough?”

“Probably. Someday it will be me or them, and I’ll pick me. I always pick me.”

“Liar.” Jaq let out a snort of a laugh and put the truck in gear, pulling back into the roadway. “You defended Mike when you could have run. You fought when you could have easily held back and stayed safe. No one would have known any different. You’re knitting scarves for Melody! Don’t give me this ‘bad girl’ crap. You’re no more a monster than any of us are — humans included.”