No-One Ever Has Sex On A Tuesday: A Very Funny Romantic Novel (31 page)

“Brilliant,” he said. “Just brilliant.”

And to her absolute shock, Gareth stood up too and joined in with the spontaneous applause.

“Not brilliant,” Gareth said. “Genius. That’s what that was. Absolute genius. Look at him. It’s every wronged woman’s dream to nail a man like that.” Alex was still sitting in his chair as white as a sheet, staring at the knife. A bead of sweat had formed on his forehead. Gareth banged the table with both fists. “I love it,” he cried. “It’s different, it’s controversial, it’s funny. A revenge column. That’s what we need.” He sat down abruptly as he tried to catch up with his racing thoughts. “It’s just so… so… what is it Drew?” he asked snapping his fingers in his direction.

“Tabloid?” offered Drew.

“Yes, that’s it. Tabloid,” he cried, getting up again and walking round the table to Suzie before taking her hands in his. “Please say you can you do that for other losers like you?” he asked.

Suzie, reeling from being called a genius and a loser in the same breath by her boss, felt she had stepped into a parallel universe. She had quite expected to be sacked by the end of the day.

“I can try,” she managed to say.

“The male tortured masses of Manchester will be forever in your debt,” he said to her solemnly before turning and waving his finger at Alex.

“As for you,” he said. “A list of potential advertisers by lunchtime. Get on the phone to Argos. See if they want to run a promo’ on kitchen knives.” He left a pause long enough for Alex to turn even whiter. “Just kidding,” he added, thumping Alex on the back. “No knives,” Gareth said to Suzie. “Lawyers wouldn’t like it.”

“Okay,” she whispered wondering what on earth she had started.

“Excellent,” replied Gareth looking at his watch. “Let’s adjourn shall we, I need to make some calls. Back here in half an hour.”

He swept out of the room leaving Drew beaming at Suzie. He walked towards her and put both hands on her shoulders.

“Brilliant,” he said yet again before he turned and left her alone with Alex.

“Are you okay?” she couldn’t help but ask. He looked so weak and pathetic, almost as if he was about to throw up. He dragged his eyes away from the knife and looked at Suzie in a way she had never seen him look at her before. She stared back trying to work out what it was until finally it dawned on her that he was looking at her with a sense of total and utter awe.

“Sorry will do,” she said to break the silence.

“Sorry,” he said biting his lip and nodding his head. “I am sorry.”

She got up slowly and walked towards him. How good did it feel to see him lean back in his chair, the fear having returned to his face. She paused for a moment before squeezing his shoulder to feel him flinch one more time. A grin filled her face and she walked out of the room her head held high.

“One down, three to go,” she muttered.