No Place for a Lady (38 page)

Emily's swollen eyes were already heavy now with the dose
of laudanum the doctor had administered. Crystal stood, bent down to smooth the quilt over Emily, and quietly tiptoed
out.

Snow had been falling all day and had accumulated four inches
more atop the snow that fell earlier in the week. When the snow
made the going slow on their horses, Luke began to talk in a quiet
voice about life and death and the sadness of it all.

"You know, when Curly died, I started thinking ... I always
knew there was a God, but I didn't know He cared about me in a
personal way. I listened to you and Curly talking that night about
the stars and God's handiwork, and then the next day Curly was
dead:" Luke's voice cracked with emotion.

Crystal strained to hear what he said next, sensing his openness
to talk about his feelings.

"I couldn't get it off my mind. Then I really started paying
attention to what Reverend Alden had to say. It began to make
sense. Although Kate always took me to church, she never forced
her belief in Jesus on me. I guess she was letting me make up my
own mind.. "

"And did you?" Crystal held her breath.

Luke stopped his horse. Crystal did likewise, heedless of the
biting wind and snow.

"Remember the day of the bazaar? That was the day I broke
up with April. I had certainly made a mess of things. That very
night I asked God to forgive me for my past mistakes and be a
part of my life from then on. I figured if it was good enough for
Curly, then it was good enough for me."

Crystal's heart quickened. She looked across the distance separating them and into Luke's piercing blue eyes, hardly able
to believe what she'd just heard. "Oh, Luke. That's the best news I've
heard in a long time. You will not regret making that decision"

"Well, there has to be more to life besides ranching. But I
don't have it all figured out yet. Then today with Emily losing
her baby ... well, it was hard. I had to believe Someone other
than me is in control of our lives, or it just plain wouldn't make
sense."

"I don't understand everything either, Luke. But that's a good
place to start:" Crystal nudged Bess to follow Luke as they made
their way through the new drifts of snow. While Crystal was
thrilled about this new piece of news, it didn't change the fact
that she would have to leave the ranch. Her eyes misted over when
she thought of leaving Luke, and she felt a knot in her chest. Once
he found out the ranch was his, he wouldn't have to pretend with
her anymore. He could court whomever he liked.

Crystal was weary by the time they reached the ranch, and it
was already dark. The sun had gone down behind the mountain
range, and Crystal was cold through and through. Rusty was in
the kitchen, keeping supper hot for them.

"How's Emily?" Rusty met them with hot cups of coffee and
took their coats while they stood next to the fire.

"She lost the baby. . . " Crystal's voice trailed off. This was her
first experience with babies and pregnancy, let alone the death of
a baby. Her heart felt heavy, and she turned to heat her backside,
noting the sadness flicker across Rusty's face.

"Aw ... that's just too bad" He scratched his red head. "I kept a little supper hot. I'll dish it up while you two warm yourselves,
and then you can tell me all about it"

"Thanks, Rusty." Luke took his hat off and threw his gloves
inside it. His forehead bore a hatband mark, and his thick dark
hair was matted down. If Crystal hadn't been so sad, she would
have made a teasing comment, but she knew now was not the
time for lightheartedness.

"I was proud of you today, Crystal;' Luke said huskily. "I know
that was not something you expected you'd ever have to do"

"Thank you, Luke. I was scared. It was the good Lord that got
me through it. I feel so terrible for Jube and Emily."

"You delivered Emily's baby?" Rusty blinked with surprise, just
about dropping the biscuits he was carrying to the table.

"Well, let's just say, I did all I could until the doctor arrived, but
Luke was a big help. I wish I could have done more"

"She did all that was humanly possible;' Luke told Rusty.

They sat at the small kitchen table, and Rusty poured more
coffee and poked at the fire a few times while the two of them
ate. He reminded Crystal so much of her aunt, always bustling
around attending to everyone's needs. That made Crystal think of
the letter she had read earlier. Had that just been today? It seemed
like days ago. Tomorrow, when she was rested, she would figure
out where she would go and what she would do.

Luke was quiet, dipping his biscuit in his coffee. Before, this
kind of habit would have driven her crazy, but now Crystal thought
it endearing. He looked up, and his eyes searched hers. What was
he thinking?

Wait until he finds out he owns the ranch.

She would tell him first thing in the morning after breakfast, after everyone else went about their ranch duties. She was too
weary to mention it in front of Rusty, because she knew he would
ask a lot of questions. Right now she didn't want to talk about
that. The only thing she wanted to do was get into her warm gown
and robe and just sit by the fire, to be alone with her thoughts
tonight.

Luke excused himself and headed off to the bunkhouse, and
that made Crystal feel worse. She knew that this was his house,
and if not for her, he could be sleeping in a nice, comfortable bed
instead of sharing a bunkhouse with Kurt and Rusty.

She and Rusty carried the dishes to the sink. "You just go make
yourself comfortable, and I'll clean up the kitchen. That's one
thing I'm good at" Rusty started on the plates and scraped them
clean.

"Rusty, how well do you know Luke?" Crystal asked.

"Well ... let's see now, he came here as a fourteen-year-old
boy as far as I can remember, and his parents were Kate's closest
friends. They lived on the Blue River. Why?"

When Crystal hesitated, he asked, "Is something on your mind
besides Emily tonight?" He didn't look up but continued with
his chore.

"A lot of things. Were his parents good people?"

"They were for a fact, missy. Why do you ask?"

"He told me tonight that he had asked God into his heart the
night of the bazaar"

"Does that surprise you?" He stacked the clean plates on a
fresh towel to dry.

"I guess ... We had a big fight yesterday, and he didn't act so
Christian"

"Crystal, you don't go pulling up your carrots from the garden
to see if they're growing and then shove them back in the ground,
do you? Give him time to grow. His faith is new, not that he was
ever a bad person to begin with. Luke wants to do the right thing,
and he's a man of his word:"

I guess my own faith has grown since my daddy died and then
Aunt Kate. I know I have a lot more to learn too. I don't know
why I should expect so much of others when I'm not being the
best that I can be either"

Rusty gave her a quick, fatherly hug. "That's human nature,
missy. You are doing fine, what with having to find your own way
and all. Just let the good Lord above be first, and everything else
will fall into place:" Rusty set the last dish on the towel. "Now, as
for me, that last dish is done. Can't wait for Carmen to get back;" he
said good-naturedly. "I'm off to bed. See you in the mornin'."

After a restless night going over the day's events and the letter
from her aunt, Crystal knew what she must do. Once the men had
had breakfast and set about their chores, she pulled her suitcase
out of the closet and started packing the most needed items. Later,
when she knew where she would be staying, she would send for
her trunk.

She would miss the life here that she had come to know. Maybe
she should have left when her aunt died.

Crystal picked up the columbine pin and tucked it between the
folds of her clothes. She had no animosity toward Luke because
Kate hadn't left the ranch to her. Now she just felt embarrassment
that she had given orders to the cowboys as if she owned the place and had decided to take over without ever giving legal ownership
a second thought. It just never occurred to her.

Her first stop would be Franklin's Mercantile. She would ask
Mary if she could use some help in the store and perhaps find a
room at the boardinghouse.

Crystal dragged the case into the front room. She would see
if Rusty would drive her to Steamboat. Tiny snowflakes began
to fall, and it was bitterly cold. She went back to fetch the letter
from her aunt to give to Luke before leaving, and she was just
getting ready to go find Rusty when Luke knocked on the door
and walked in.

"Crystal, I'm going to ride up to the line cabin later and check
on Emily-" He stopped dead in his tracks. "You going somewhere?"

Crystal swallowed hard. "I'm going to see if Rusty will drive
me into Steamboat this morning."

"Whatever for? It's still snowing." He raised an eyebrow and
frowned.

She moved around him with a snap to her step. "It's best that
I leave, Luke."

"Crystal, what are you talking about? What do you mean, leave?
Permanently?"

She wouldn't meet his eyes. "Luke, I have something for you"
Crystal handed him the envelope that held the letter from the
attorney. She watched him unfold the parchment and read it. Her
mouth went dry, and she waited for his anger to descend on her
like a thundercloud.

He shifted his hips, making his spurs jangle softly. "When were
you going to tell me?" His voice was stern, but his steady blue eyes were kind. Before she could answer, he asked, "How long
have you known?"

"I found out yesterday, right before we left for Emily's. There
just wasn't a time to tell you"

"So, you were just gonna up and leave?"

"This place belongs to you, Luke. I have no right here." Crystal
couldn't meet his gaze.

Luke took a step closer. "Don't leave ... I knew about the deed
when the trail drive ended in Denver."

"What! And you never said anything?" Crystal's heart was
pounding in her ears.

"I wanted to, but I didn't because I figured you'd go back to
Georgia."

"But how could you not tell me? Especially after I made a complete fool of myself that night at the skating party, saying you
wanted to marry me in order to own the ranch." Hot anger flashed
over Crystal. She stepped away from him and jerked her coat off
the peg, nearly pulling the rack right off the wall.

Luke placed a hand on her arm. "I'm sorry. I thought if you
knew the place rightfully belonged to me, you would leave and
go back to Georgia and Drew."

"Instead, for months you let me dictate orders to you and the
cowboys, when I had no right to?" Crystal was shaking now. Her
conscience pricked her. She knew her indignation was not warranted.
She knew if she looked straight into his eyes, she would crumble.

Luke took her coat and hung it back on the peg and reached
for her trembling hands. His callused hands were warm as he
caressed hers. "Crystal.. " His voice was low and husky. "Please
look at me."