No Regrets (No Regrets #1) (16 page)

She smiles as my
hands remove the remainder of her clothing. I step out of my boxers and move up her body, leisurely kissing as I go. She breathes heavily as my hands move to her core, bringing her almost to the edge. Then I fit a condom on and sink into her as our breathing matches. In that moment I know that this woman I imagined having beneath me really has me in every way possible. As crazy as it is, I know it with everything.

The air moves between us
as Mollie screams, “Grey, Oh my God,” taking me over the edge with her. I smile as she uses my nickname.
Oh Red.

Chapter 20

Hours later my eyes open to soft rays shining through the space. I realize that my arm is warm and heavy, similar to a couple of other mornings. I look over, gazing at Red’s still figure. The freckles dotting her face are more prominent in the morning light. Her hair frames her head angelically. I curse for thinking girly shit, but she’s it and I know it. I wonder if this is what Christina feels every time she looks at Jonathan. I’m in deep with her. Everything she does makes me want her more.

She shifts
, her mouth tilting in her sleep. I stare in amazement as she slithers into my side and unconsciously I add that little quirk to the list I have made of all the things I love about her.

Thoughts of my
mom force themselves into my head. It’s been a while since I wanted to remember, but staring at Mollie forces the memories to flood my mind. When she was sick my dad was broken. He barely handled waking up every day but my mom didn’t know how hard he took her illness. She didn’t know that he struggled with everyday decisions such as eating and going to work. He didn’t want her to know. As I remember, I realize my dad put up a façade every time he entered her room in those final months. He was always cheery and happy, trying so hard to help her through the sickness. Is that what this is? Wanting to do something for another person no matter what? Putting on a different face for them regardless of how you feel? Making someone else’s happiness more important than anything else? I barely know this woman but these are all the things I feel a need to do for her. More than anything I want to protect her. Years ago I did that and now, thinking about that night again, I would do it all over again to save her. I’ve spent the past five years regretting my actions that night, but now, staring at her perfection, I have no regrets.

Mollie’s eyes flutter open. Her lip
s spread in a smile as my face comes into focus. Her hand cups my chin as she stares at me. I lower my lips to hers, intending only a brief kiss, but her mouth takes over, deepening it. As I pull away she pants out, “You said last night that you want me to remember. Grey, I will never forget, no matter what.”

With that
, I’m done for. I move over her again, this time dragging every touch and taste out slowly and committing every freckle and curve of her to my memory.

***

Late in the afternoon, banging wakes me up for the third time in the day. I look around, realizing that the bed beside me is empty. Red is no longer nuzzling my side and I yearn for her warmth. I slowly get up as the banging on the front door continues. As it drones on, I assume she must have left without waking me up. This concerns me and I wonder why she felt she needed to go.

I slide
shorts on and head for the front door, remembering the last time someone woke me up with incessant banging. It was Red looking for Meyer. The door swings open to a pissed off Meyer.
Surprise, surprise.

Instead of asking what he wants
, I spin back around, aiming for the kitchen. I’m sure Meyer has some sort of drama and I’m already fed up with him.

He
trails behind me asking, “So where is she? She was here, wasn’t she? I knew you’d fuck her. Dammit, Grey, you can’t just stay away from what’s mine.” His voice is pained.

I frown at his words but decide to stay silent.
Meyer continues his rant. “She’s fucking here with
me,
Greylan. What gives you the right?”

His volume rises in fury with
each passing minute that I don’t answer.

Finally
, as the anger rises in Meyer’s voice to the point that it cracks with emotion, he skirts around me into my path and holds up his clenched fist. “Let’s just do this, Grey. I’m sick of always sitting in your shadow. I know you’ll beat my ass but I’ll at least get a punch in. It’ll make
you
feel pain for a change.”

Meyer lurches forward
, his fist moving through the air. I don’t have a chance to move before it connects with my chin. I step back, shocked at Meyer’s fierceness.

I
rub the spot on my jaw while explaining calmly, “Meyer, buddy, I didn’t know. I thought…shit, I don’t know what I thought.” I move to a chair situated under a tiny round table in the corner of the box of a kitchen. All of the euphoric feelings I was feeling a moment before seep away as I realize I was had by this woman. She lied to me and I’ve probably screwed up whatever plans Meyer was making with Jackson for the fights. He’s likely to disappear again for another five years. Although as that thought passes, it might not be the worst thing. Meyer being around has disrupted everything. She’s the one woman I allowed under my skin and she lied. There can’t be any other reason why she left without an explanation.

Meyer falls in
to the chair across from me. His head falls to his folded arms. He moves it back and forth in frustration. Finally he looks up in anguish, still pissed.

“Grey, I’m not with her. I want to be more than anything
…”

My
eyes move to a squint, taking in what Meyer is telling me.

“What the hell was that
, then? You fucking punched me.”

Meyer rests his chin on his folded arms. A minute later he lifts his he
ad, his eyes just barely slits. “It’s been like this our entire lives. Do you realize that? I’ve always been an afterthought. You always get the girl. You get the fighting career. You rescued the girl…”

The anger rises but my
voice comes out steady. “Are you listening to yourself? I fucking went to prison for rescuing the girl. Did you forget that part? And Mollie - I’m not sorry, Meyer. It happened, and I’m not sorry.”

I’m pissed
for not seeing how upset Meyer has been. This didn’t just start recently, it’s been brewing for a while, and I should have recognized it when he came back around. I failed to see it in my dad so I should have caught the signs in Meyer.

Meyer glares at me
and looks away. His voice cracks. “I’ve been telling myself for the past five years that it wasn’t my fault. You’re the one who punched him. It was your fist that pushed him into the wall. But if I would have been there, he probably wouldn’t have died. If I wouldn’t have gone off to get high, Mollie wouldn’t have been in that alley. He wouldn’t have tried anything with her.”

I shake my
head at his admission. I never knew where Meyer had gone off to that night. No one ever told me and I was so angry back then I didn’t care.

Meyer continues, “So I came to try and make things up to you. If it
hadn’t been for me, you would have gone pro a long time ago. You wouldn’t have had to do it all over again.”

My head sinks into my hands. I’ve been so angry at Meyer for such a
long time. It seems to seep away in that moment. My friend, who I’ve known my whole life, is still the same person. The same person I spent so much time with over the years. I look up at his tormented face. “Meyer, it’s done. You can’t blame yourself because it’ll eat away at you. Let it go, buddy. I’ve made it up for both of us. Neither one of us was right that night and mistakes happen.”

As the words leave my lips I acknowledge
that most of what I am telling Meyer is what Jackson has been trying to tell me now for six months. I can’t go on if I can’t let go of the past. This right here, with Meyer, is the first step for both of us in that process. Silently I tell myself, no regrets.

I lift out of my chair and step toward Meyer. My
hand darts out, palm up. Meyer grasps it as he stands. I pull him into a shoulder hug. As we distance ourselves I tell him, “Let me get some clothes on and we’ll go find Mollie.”

We drive
to the hotel first as Meyer reasons that she isn’t familiar with New Brunswick but I have other thoughts about where she is. I ask, “Meyer, the other day, after you came back to town. Mollie found me at Mill Creek Pond. Any idea how she knew I would be there?”

Meyer looks miserable all over again.

“Dude, I wasn’t sure if you were going to hate me forever. I thought me being here would either piss you off to the point of uncaring whether I came or went or you’d be pissed enough to revisit old memories.”

“Dammit
, Meyer, and you thought that would be a good idea the day of a decision fight? Aren’t we too old for these fucking games? I don’t know whether to hit you again or hug you for coming back.”

“Sorry
, Grey, I guess I’ve messed up a lot.”

I shake my
head as we pull up to the hotel. I’m glad Meyer was willing to open up.

“
You go up and see if she’s there. I’m going to check the pond. Call me if she’s here.”

We part
, and as I pull away I wonder what kind of game Meyer is playing. Him being here with Red…why
is
Mollie here? I want to find her more than anything now to answer these questions that keep popping up. The first being, why did she leave my bed?

A
s the truck aims in the direction of the pond, my phone rings. I hit the button without looking at the screen and my sister’s voice, full of pain, fills my ears. “Grey, Where are you? I need you, Grey.” She’s sobbing.

Worried
, I ask, “Trinity, are you okay? What happened?” I take a deep breath, my heart beats faster. “I’m on my way.”

Chapter 21

As I near my
sister’s house, thoughts of Red’s beautiful face passes through my head but I force them away. Meyer will find her. I drive way too fast, shortening the twenty minute drive to fourteen. I slide out of the truck, barely slamming the door as my feet rush up the walk to the front door. It swings open before I can think to knock. A distraught Trinity stands in the doorway. Her cheeks are stained with trails from her tears. Her face is red and she’s shaking. I pull her into my arms, hugging her tight to my chest. I think about Parker and how much I really hate him now. I’m sure he did this to her and the first chance I get I’ll mop the road with the prick.

Trinity st
arts crying all over again as I lead her into the house toward the living room. As we sink to the couch, she squeezes an already soaked tissue in her hand. I move her body beside mine and ask, “Trin, is Parker here?”

This seems to create more conflict as she frowns and breaks into a blubbering mess.
What the fuck?
My voice softens. “I need to know. Is he here?”

She shakes her head. I’m
glad because beating his ass in front of her probably wouldn’t help anything. I tell her, “Let me go and get you more tissue.”

Her breathing is starting to slow as
she nods. I walk to the downstairs bathroom and grab the whole box. As I cross back to the couch, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see a text from Meyer explaining that Mollie was at the hotel. This has the opposite effect on me than it should. I’m glad that she’s safe but sorry I was wrong about where she was. Maybe she
is
with Meyer and
I
overstepped with her. She went back to him and didn’t stay with me.

Near
ing the couch, loud sniffling pushes Mollie from my thoughts. I situate myself back into the cushions, offering Trinity the box of tissues. She carefully takes one and begins wiping her face. I wait a few minutes while she gets her emotions under control. As her sniffles begin to even out and more time passes, I decide to try and find out why she was so upset.

Grabbing her free hand
, I squeeze and ask, “Trin, do you think you can tell me what happened?”

Pa
nic passes over her features. I wait with an encouraging expression. The thought that this guy could cause this much pain in her makes me irate. I knew the asshole was bad news the minute I saw him.

“Grey, it’s nothing. I think I just blew things out of proportion.”

“What?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing. My breathing halts for a few seconds as her words register.

S
lowly I plead, “No, Trinity, you were really upset. I need to know why.”

She shakes her head
. “It was really nothing. I’m so sorry I called you.”

I know she isn’t going to tell me anything. I’m
going to have to find out from the douche himself. Abruptly I stand, looking down at her innocent face. How can anyone hurt my sister? I want blood and I want it now.

“Trinity, I have to go. Will you be al
l right?”

She nods
, fear filling her expression. “Don’t do anything to Parker. Please, Grey.”

I look
away and she grabs my hand before I can leave.

“Promise you won’t hurt him. I told you it was nothing. It was my fault.”

My gaze swings back to look at her incredulously. “What was your fault?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me Trin or I
will
go and beat the crap out of him.”

“He’s going to Vegas
, for good, Greylan, and I don’t want to go. I told him that I won’t go. He was upset and he told me that he couldn’t marry me then because this is what he does. He’s tired of flying back and forth. He wants us to move there. But I don’t want to go. I’d miss you; I just got you back, well kind of. Grey, I wish we could see each other more. Maybe this is best. You hate him, anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t marry him.”

Realization hits me
, as she utters the words that implicate me as a reason that could cost her happiness. All because I can’t get past my dislike for the guy.

I lower
to the edge of the couch and explain, “Trinity, you can’t give it all up. This is a silly reason. You’ll work it out.”

“No
, Grey, I don’t think we will.” She starts blubbering again. It amazes me how she can turn the waterworks on and off like that.

“Calm down
, Trinity, Vegas is where the fights are. Remember, I told you that this life is hard?”

She nods.

“I told you that I would never choose for you to marry a fighter. Remember?”

“Yes.”

“This is why. We move around and have to deal with all kinds of people. It’s tough, Trinity.”

Her face goes slack for a moment and then it’s as if clarity
reaches her thoughts. She whines, “Are you going, too?”

Fuck.
I was hoping
my
relocation wouldn’t come into this conversation. I nod. She starts gasping again, flushing to get air into her lungs.
Where the hell is that pussy, anyway
?
Maybe it will be in my best interest to beat Parker’s ass anyway.

We
sit like this, the conversation continuing as I answer her questions about Vegas and the fights. As darkness envelopes the house, I stand to turn on the lights and stretch my muscles. My body yearns to go and punch something but I know Jackson will have closed the gym by the time I’m finished here. Just as seven o’clock rolls around, the front door opens and closes.
At least the idiot didn’t leave her already
.

Parker walks into t
he room, surprised to see me but focused on Trinity. She leaps off the couch and rushes into his arms. He whispers into her hair, shaking his head, “I’m so sorry.”

Her voice is shaky again
. “I’m sorry too, Parker. I love you so much. I’ll go wherever you want me to go.”

I
can’t listen to another word. I skirt around them and head for the door. Parker calls out, “Greylan.”

The
douche is lucky he didn’t use my nickname. He knows better. As I meet his stare over Trinity’s shoulder, he expresses his gratitude. “Thanks.”

“No pr
oblem.” There’s so much more I want to say but decide it isn’t the time or place. We will meet on the mat at some point and I’ll let him know exactly what I think of him then.

As I climb into the truck and turn
the ignition, two things cross my mind. First, I need to figure out this thing with Mollie. I won’t be able to focus on anything with her floating uncertainly through my thoughts. The second is how furious Juno and Christina are going to be at me if I don’t get over to the bar soon.

I decide to head straight there. As the truck
pulls into a space lining the road out front, I notice a small figure situated on the curb. Her red hair gives her away. She has a forlorn look on her face as I approach.
What the hell is it with crying chicks?
It’s been a shitty day for confrontations. I consider avoiding this one but I know we need to talk.

I move
to sit next to her and grab her hand. She seems lost in thought even though her stare meets mine. She doesn’t seem very happy to see me. My heart falters and I decide this is the first thing that I won’t add to the list of things I love about her.

My
voice is soft as I admit, “Hey, I missed you this afternoon when I woke up.”

A slight smile r
ises in the corner of her mouth and her eyes return to their normal sheen. “Really?” She stares at me as if searching my entire face for something.

“Yes.” I
lean closer to her, the sweet scent that is only Red filling my nostrils.

“Where did you go?”

She looks away, lost in thought again.

“I had to take care of some
things.” She stands, quickly looking down at me. Her shoulders roll back and her eyes glance at the bar behind me. She speaks into the air indirectly to me.

“Greylan, I have to leave. I’
m sorry.”

At her words I
’m on my feet, panic running through my body. I can’t believe what she’s telling me. Every part of my body seems to pulse in denial as if I’m having a drug withdrawal.
Why in the hell am I having this kind of reaction?

Silently telling my
self to calm the fuck down, I ask, “Why do you need to go?”

S
he shakes her head, detaching herself just like that. “Last night was nice but I just can’t stay. Goodbye, Greylan.” As she says the word nice, it sounds like a dirty word that she regrets saying.

“You don’t really mean that
, Mollie. It was so much more than that and you know it.”

My heart aches with the words I speak. I
just found her again and now she’s going to leave me. I reach for her but she turns, moving quickly away in the direction of the hotel. I want more than anything to follow her and demand she tell me why. I start to have doubts. Maybe I read her wrong and I’m the douche bag needing it to mean more than it did. I sink to the curb and lean forward on my knees, pissed for making her mean so much. I’m usually the first person to admit that it doesn’t happen like that. People don’t matter to each other like that. But I know the words running through my mind are just that, words. The way my body responds to her is something I can’t deny and I hate that I let a woman get to me that easily.

Meyer’
s claim on her crosses my thought. ‘She’s here with me.’ Did Meyer convince her to be with him? Maybe I should have admitted what she is to me. But I don’t know what that even means. A woman I can’t stop thinking about and I can’t get enough of now that I’ve had a taste.
Fuck!

When I finally drag my
self up off the curb, Christina is just stepping out the door onto the sidewalk. She takes one look at me and asks, concern lacing her words, “Grey, what happened?”

I can see the panic cross her features. I know her and she’s probably worried because she was the one who pushed me to go after Mollie last night
.

Before I
can answer, Juno steps out of the bar and asks, a cigarette clasped between her fingers, “Are we having a party on the street? We aren’t gonna make a dime out here and the customers we’re about to get damn well can’t serve themselves.”

Christina glares at he
r aunt and turns back to me, ignoring the reprimand. “Are you all right?”

I nod
, shaking off her hand when she reaches out to console me. I know she feels guilty and I want to let her off the hook but I feel rotten right now. Eventually we’ll hash it out and she’ll know it wasn’t her fault.

I slip
into the building past Juno. Christina tries to follow but Juno grabs her arm, forcing her body around. She glares at her aunt as the older woman takes a drag from her cigarette. She breathes out, squinting through the smoke. “Christina, what’s goin’ on with him?”

The breath escapes Christina before she answers
. “Juno, he’s just having a hard time with stuff. Leave him alone.”

“Well
, girl, he’s earned this thing he has going. He deserves it, so we need to do everything we can to support him. I’m guessing he’ll be crushed if he doesn’t make it. Am I right?”

Christina
glances my way, knowing I can hear their conversation. Instead of answering she just nods in agreement and skirts back into the bar. She stands in the doorway for a minute, watching me move absently behind the counter, stocking up for the night. She loudly apologizes. “Grey, I’m so sorry for pushing you.”

My
eyes dart up, anger running through my face.

“No
, Christina, you don’t get to be sorry for that. Get over that shit. I wouldn’t have gone if I didn’t want to. What happened has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t matter. Fighting does, and that is my focus. So no more talk about that chick, she’s history.”

Christina nods vigorously
. That chick did a number on me. S
he better stay the hell away or I’ll lose my mind, I think.