Noah (23 page)

Their faces are inches apart and Caleb turns his face
to the side and spits out blood that has accumulated in his mouth
before turning back to Noah. "You can never mind your own business,
can you? I get that the two of you have a long history of
friendship, but she's my girl. You need to back off, Noah, and know
your place."

"I'm not your girl," I interrupt from behind Noah.
Both men look over at me; shock resonates on Noah's face and Caleb
looks angry.

"The hell you aren't. Let's talk about this, Skye.
Don't throw this all away because of what that whore said."

Noah's fist tightens on Caleb's shirt and he pulls
him slightly forward before thrusting him back against the wall
again. "Shut the fuck up
,”
Noah spits venomously in Caleb's face.

"Let him go, Noah. He's not worth it," I command as I
wipe the tears from my eyes. Noah reluctantly lets go of Caleb's
shirt and takes a step back, as Caleb adjusts his clothing and
wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

Ducking away from Noah he takes a few steps toward me
but I step back with my hands held out in front of me. "Just go,
Caleb. There's nothing to say."

"That's not true, baby. You haven't even heard my
side of the story."

"I don't need to. Paula confirmed everything for me,
making what I read all those weeks ago pretty clear."

"You don't know what you're doing. We're at our
engagement party, Skye. We're getting married. I still want to
marry you."

“Well,
you
should have thought about that before you slipped your dick into
another woman."

I feel something brush against me and I look to my
right to see Noah standing by my side. I've been so focused on my
conversation with Caleb that I didn't even notice Noah move beside
me, standing next to me for support.

Looking back at Caleb I add confidently, "It's over,
Caleb."

"Don't say that. You'll change your mind. You'll
forgive me."

"Forgive you
and
then
what? You can cheat on me all over again? That's not
going to happen. I've let you control this relationship and walk
all over me for long enough."

"Skye, you–"

"She said it's over, Caleb," Noah interrupts, moving
slightly in front of me and blocking my view of Caleb. "I suggest
you go quietly before I'm forced to beat the life out of you and
make a scene."

Moving my head to look over the right side of Noah's
upper arm I watch as Caleb glares at Noah and then his eyes settle
on me. After a moment of contemplation I see the second
he
’
s made up his mind.
Turning to go back inside he mumbles, "You fucking bitch. You
aren't worth it."

Noah must hear him, too, because he lunges forward to
confront him but I'm faster. Wrapping my hands around his hips from
behind, I pull him into me and speak against his back. "His family
and friends are inside, Noah. Beating him is not worth the assault
charge
s
."

I can feel the tension in his back as my cheek
brushes against the tight muscles. I continue to hold him this way
until he's calmed down and then I release his hips and take a step
back. He turns to face me and his beautiful brown eyes are filled
with sadness, and maybe even pity for me.

It
’
s just
a reminder of all the mistakes I've made. Mistakes I made six years
ago, mistakes I made a month ago, and even the mistake I made last
night and then again this morning. My mistake wasn
’
t sleeping with Noah and cheating
on Caleb in the process. As I look into the face that's comforted
me since I was a child, I realize the mistake was leaving Noah this
morning and choosing Caleb and our silly engagement instead.

I chose wrong and hurt the man in front of me in the
process. The realization has me sobbing all over again. Noah wraps
his strong, muscular arms around me and coos comfortingly in my
ear. His hands glide up and down my back, attempting to soothe away
the sadness. Once my tears have dried
,
he pulls away slightly and looks me in my puffy,
swollen eyes.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

I'm afraid to answer, unsure of what my voice will
sound like so I silently nod my head yes.

Instead of walking back inside, he pulls his phone
out and sends a text. Pushing his phone back in his pocket he grabs
my hand and we walk out the side gate of the patio and
onto
the grass. It's pitch black
out so I grip his hand a little tighter as my heels dig into the
ground. We walk around the outside of the building all the way to
the front entrance.

His date is standing near the revolving door and when
we get close he lets go of my hand and takes the few remaining
steps toward her. I stand back to give them a minute of
privacy.

They talk quietly and she smiles at him in
understanding. In the dim light of the entrance I get a good look
at her and have to admit she's really pretty...and maybe I was a
little harsh on my judgment of her earlier tonight. She seems to
genuinely care for Noah and doesn't seem mad at all that he's out
here with me.

She hands him my black
Michael Kors
purse and black dress coat and
then he leans in and brushes his lips against her cheek. He turns
back in my direction and my eyes connect with his date's. She
smiles sweetly at me before lifting her hand to wave goodbye. I
have
no
idea what Noah
just said to her, but I hope he let her down easily. She seems like
a genuinely nice woman.

When planning the engagement party I mad
e
sure to arrange for cabs to be
out front to take anyone who drank to
o
much home. Noah opens a door to one of the cabs
for me and I never thought I'd need one to go home in. He slips
inside next to me and gives the driver a familiar address. It's not
his address
,
though–it
’
s the address
to Kendall's place.

I wonder why we're not going back to our apartment
complex? There's no way I'll spend another night in my apartment
with Caleb, but I thought after tonight, after ending things with
Caleb, that Noah would want me with him in his place. I know it's
been less than an hour since I found out Caleb's been cheating on
me, but this revelation is the news I needed to move forward with
Noah. Doesn
’
t he see
this? Doesn't he realize that we can finally be together now?

He might be afraid to make the first move. Maybe he
doesn't want to be with me anymore. He did look cozy with his date,
and he kissed her goodnight before getting in the cab with me.
Maybe he wants to see where that relationship could go. I might
have blown the one chance I had with Noah when I left his bed this
morning to be with Caleb.

As I'm replaying all the scenarios in my
head
,
I realize
something I didn't realize before. I'm not faultless in the break
off of my engagement tonight. I got so angry with Caleb for
cheating on me with Paula, but I cheated on him
,
too. I've slept with Noah several times
while involved with Caleb. And if I'm being honest with myself,
although Noah and I only started sleeping with each other recently,
my heart
’
s always been
his. So in a sense, I've never been truly faithful to Caleb.

My heart softens towards him a little as I grasp what
a hypocrite I've been. Sure, Caleb was just sleeping around for the
fun of it, but maybe that makes what I did worse because mine was a
battle of the heart and not just fulfilling a lustful
attraction.

As I'm processing how horrible I've been
,
Noah's voice interrupts my
thoughts. "I texted Kendall. She left the party and is on her way
to her place so we're only a couple minutes ahead of her."

I ask what's been bothering me since he gave the
driver Kendall's address. "Why aren't we going back to your
place?"

He drags a hand through his unmanageable hair before
bringing two of his fingers to his beard and playing with the
coarse hair. "That's not a good idea, Skye."

"Why not?"

"Because you should be with your best friend right
now."

Scooting my body closer to his in the back of the cab
I lay my palm against his chest. With that small touch I feel a
rush of anticipation spread throughout my body. My fingers play
with one of the buttons on his dress shirt as I look up at him
under my long eyelashes. "But you're my best friend."

He places one of his hands over mine. "I haven't been
your best friend for some time now, Skye."

"Okay, then you're more than my best friend. Don't
you see, Noah? There's nothing standing between us anymore. Now we
can be together." I lean forward to brush my lips against his, but
he turns his head away and my lips brush against his bearded cheek
instead.

"I'm not going to be your second choice, Skye."

He moves my hand off his chest and I sit there,
stunned and rejected. "You're not my second choice, Noah. You never
have been. I've been in love with you since I was a teenager and I
never thought you'd return those feelings. Then, after six years
with Caleb, I finally find out how you feel and...I thought it was
too late. It was overwhelming. I didn't want to give up what I had
with him and risk you changing your mind."

"So you rather be with the sure thing and be
comfortable, instead of risking it all for a chance at true
happiness. That's fucked up, Skye."

I'm an emotional mess as tears start to fill the brim
of my eyelids, again. I close my eyes
to try
to stop them from falling, but one falls down
my cheek anyway. "Well then, maybe I'm fucked up."

I wanted the words to come out laced with anger but
instead they came out like a fact. I probably am fucked up. Why
else would I continue to make poor decision after poor decision?
Why else would I want to be with him an hour after breaking up with
my fiancé? I should be devastated after ending a six-year
relationship and leaving all of our confused family and friends at
the golf club with no explanation
of
what happened tonight. I should be sad it's all
over.

Noah turns his body into mine and lifts his palms to
my cheeks, his thumbs brushing under my eyes to wipe the tears
away. "It's okay, Skye. You need time. You need to be by yourself.
You need to figure out what you want and when you know what it is
you should go for it. I don't want to stand in your way."

He's not standing in my way, he
’s
standing directly in my sight because
he's all I've ever seen. He's who I've always wanted to be with
deep down, but maybe he's right. Maybe I do need a little time to
myself. Maybe if I get a little time to be single and not defined
by a man, I'll realize who or what I want.

In the past six years I've lost my
identity
…
I don't know
who I am. I've lost what I'm passionate about.
I gave up what I wanted.
Maybe being on my
own is exactly what I need to find myself again. If I'm meant to be
with Noah, we'll find each other, but right now I shouldn't be
focusing on a man. I should be focused on fixing me.

It only took Noah's wise words to figure this
out.

"You're right." I sniffle as I pull back from his
hold and wipe the rest of my tears away. We've pulled up in front
of Kendall's place and we're sitting in the cab waiting for her to
arrive behind us. "I should take some time to figure out where I go
from here."

"That's good, Skye. You need this time."

"Can I...can I call you? I still need a friend right
now and I don't think I could deal with losing you, too."

He looks down at his hands that are resting in his
lap. "I don't think that's smart right now, Skye. I need some time,
too. I'll always be here for you if you need me. I'll always be the
reliable one in your life, but you're not the only one who's had
their heart broken tonight. I can't be around you right now."

His words spark new tears and I turn quickly so he
won't see them. I open the door to the cab and step out, grateful
when I see a
nother
cab
pull up behind us and Kendall hops out. She throws cash at the
driver before closing the yellow door. She runs over to me and
engulfs me in a hug and I let the tears fall freely
again.

"It's okay, honey. I'm here."

After a few moments of uncontrollable sobs in the
arms of my best friend I step back and turn to say goodnight to
Noah, but the cab is gone and so is Noah.

He left without saying goodbye and as sad as that
makes me, it's probably what we both need. I hurt him and that was
never my intention.

I never want to be the person who hurts him
again.

Kendall and I make our way into her apartment and
then I spill my guts to her, filling her in on everything she
missed tonight at the party over a few bottles of wine and two
pints of ice cream.

Chapter Thirteen

I close my computer, unable to contain the joy I feel
inside as a smile spreads across my face. It's the first time I've
truly smiled in a month. I finally feel like I've made the first
step in the right direction of my future. I know what I want to do
next in my life. It'll be a couple months until I start this new
chapter, since it's summer, but I've definitely made the right
choice. I know this will make me happy and fulfilled.

It's been a little over a month since I broke off my
engagement to Caleb, and Noah left me at Kendall's place. In the
last month I've had plenty of time to painfully go over all the
areas I went wrong in my life. In ways
,
the past month has felt freeing, like the ties
around my ankles and wrists have been cut and I'm free to dance to
the new rhythm of my life.