Noah (3 page)

"You know, if
Wedding
Barbie
and
Ken
are getting married then we should set up a bed for when
they have sex." He grins at me and wiggles his eyebrows, causing
warmth to spread in my belly. His smile makes me happy.

"What's sex?" I ask. I've heard the word used a few
times before but no one ever explains it to me. They almost say it
like it's a bad word.

"You don't know what sex is? I sometimes forget what
a baby you are," Noah teases.

"Hey, I'm not a baby! I'm eight and you think you're
so special because you're eleven, but when I get older I'm going to
be way smarter than you and I'll be calling you a big baby."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep!" I say triumphantly. I finish putting the veil
on my
Wedding
Barbie
that's getting married
today.

Noah doesn't say anything more and quickly puts the
orange and blue top back on my
Barbie
he undressed earlier.
He sits her down on the carpet next to my other
Barbie
dolls. They're all waiting for the wedding to begin.

"This is so stupid. Make this wedding quick and then
we can go back to my house and play
Zelda
on my
Nintendo
64
. I don't want to go to the lake anymore."

I stand
Barbie
next to
Ken
and then
look for my other
Ken
doll that's going to be the priest.
When I have all the dolls ready I ask Noah, "What's sex?"

He sighs–frustrated as he adjusts the Mario and Luigi
t-shirt he's wearing. "You're too young to learn what sex is, Skye,
so don't ask me. I'll tell you what sex is when you're my age."

"But I want to know now," I whine. I cross my arms
and pout out my lower lip so he'll think I might cry. That always
works with Noah

"If your mom and dad found out I told you what sex
is, they'll never let me play over here again. My parents don't
even know that I know what it is."

"I won't tell them, I pinky swear."

He tilts his head and looks at me, deciding if he
should tell me or not. After what seems like forever he reaches his
right hand out and curls his fingers into a fist, but leaves his
pinky out.

Smiling because I wore him down, I reach out to do
the same and we seal my promise with a pinky swear.

Noah picks up my
Ken
and
Barbie
doll
and places them in his lap–then he blows my mind when he starts
undressing them.

"Hey, what are you doing? I told you to stop
undressing my dolls."

"I'm not doing this for fun, Skye." He continues to
take off their clothes until both dolls are naked. "I'm not going
to give you the details of sex because you're too young, no matter
what you say, and if I tell you everything you'll just have more
questions. But to get an idea of what it is..." He trails off.

Noah has
Barbie
lying down on her back and a
naked
Ken
lies on top of her as Noah presses their plastic
lips together.

"It's basically two naked people kissing." He makes
kissing noises as he rubs Barbie's plastic boobs against
Ken's
plastic chest.

"Ewe. That's disgusting." I quickly grab
Barbie
away from him and put her wedding dress back on.
"When I get married my husband and I are never having sex."

"You'll change your mind."

“No, I won't. Why would you think that?"

"Because when I marry you, Skye, we are definitely
having sex."

Chapter Two

The apartment is calmingly quiet as I heat up last
night's take-out in the microwave. I pour myself a glass of white
wine as I listen to the man on the other end of the phone.

Tonight is one of the many nights Caleb has to work
late now that he's officially a lawyer. I knew what I was signing
up for when I started dating a law student, and now that Caleb
works for a prestigious firm in the city he has to prove he belongs
there.

Or at least that's what he tells me when I
complain.

When Caleb was starting law school I thought he'd go
into Business law, but instead he decided on Criminal law and being
a defense attorney, which mean long hours working for some
innocent, but mostly guilty clients. The money is great, which is
what Caleb wants, but he has to leave his morals at the door to be
a defense attorney.

And that's what life is all about, isn't it?
Money.

Growing up where I did, in a small town outside
Marquette, Michigan, we weren't poor but we never had a ton of
money. It was something that occasionally held me back, and
something I always said would change when I became an adult. That's
why I wanted to go to college. My dream was to become a nurse
during the day, and write my first book in the evenings–maybe
becoming the next J.K. Rowling.

So when I met Caleb my freshman year, I was a
nineteen
-
year
-
old with endless dreams and
possibilities. I never thought I'd settle down with my first real
boyfriend, and I definitely didn't plan on dropping out of school
after my freshman year and following that boyfriend to New York so
he could further his education and continue on to law school.

We moved from shitty apartment to shitty apartment
while he finished school, but when we finally moved into our
expensive apartment last year, Caleb offered to pay the entire
rent. He was finally a lawyer and could afford the place, but being
the stubborn woman I am
,
I insisted on paying half. We aren't married or engaged so it
didn't feel right to let him pay for everything. I figured I would
struggle now and once we settle down and have kids then I'll let
him pay for everything.

Stupidest decision ever.

Our monthly rent is over four thousand a month and I
can't afford paying half that working the jobs I do. It's crippled
me in ways I never imagined, and I definitely can't go back to
finish school if I'm expected to pay half the rent. I don't regret
moving here, though. I'm glad I got out of my small town and get to
experience New York.

I've thought about taking Caleb up on the offer now,
but he's been so great and he's proud of how hard I work, so I
would feel like I let him down in some way if I asked him to pay it
all now. My dream of going back to school will just have to wait,
but I don't want Caleb to know that. It's why I've told him over
and over again that giving up school was what I wanted and that
when we get married one day, being a housewife will be satisfying
for me.

That statement is probably true for many women all
around the world. Being a housewife is a hard job with many
rewards; it's just not what I want. It won't satisfy me. Telling
Caleb it's what I want is one of the few small lies I've told him
over the years. I gave up everything I ever wanted to move to New
York and be with him as he followed his dreams.

Including my dignity.

"You like that big boy," I say huskily into the
phone. "Are you hard, baby? Do you want to spank it against my
lips?" The voice on the other end of the line responds back with
something vulgar and demeaning. I swallow my disgust and in my most
sultry voice I moan into the phone
,
"Oh, yes...right there."

The microwave beeps and I pull my dinner out and take
a bite, moaning for real this time as the tender, juicy chicken
satiates my hunger. The man on the other end of the phone thinks
I'm moaning for him and then he grunts. I know he's probably coming
all over himself, wherever he is.

Wanting to end the call now that he's finished I say
quickly, "That's good, baby. Go clean yourself up and I'll talk to
you another night." I tap my phone to end the call and let out a
huge sigh of relief because my last call of the night is over. No
matter how many times I make and receive those calls, it never gets
easier. I feel dirty and cheap and want to take a nice, long shower
when it's over. The only good thin
g
about being a PSO is the paychecks I get every
week offset the funds I need after getting paid from my honorable
jobs.

That's right, I'm a phone sex operator at night.

Caleb would flip his shit if he knew.

I brought it up once, asking him what he thought of
the women who work for Forbidden Desires, Inc., and he had only
nice things to say. He believes that anyone trying to work to make
money to live is doing okay in his book. I jokingly asked what he'd
think if I started working there, and after a moment of hesitation,
he said if I wanted to work there he'd support my decision.

That moment of hesitation was all I need
ed
to know that he wouldn't be okay
with it...so I withhold it from him.

It's easy to hide this third job from him on nights
he works late. He usually doesn't come in until one or two in the
morning and by then I'm done with my calls. On nights he's home
it's a different story. We go to bed together and I feign sleep,
waiting for the moment I hear his soft, subtle snoring and then I
crawl out of bed, tiptoeing out of the room so he doesn't hear me.
On those nights I make my phone calls out in the living room and
pray he doesn't wake up.

I tried to earn money the respectable way, I really
did, but my coffee house job and dog walking in the late mornings
and early afternoons just isn't enough to pay the bills. This isn't
where I thought I'd be at twenty-five. I thought my life would turn
out differently, but I'm looking at this as short
-
term. I can get over how much I dislike
being a PSO if it's only going to be for a short time.

Becoming a phone sex operator was a lot easier than
you might think, not that I was seeking this job out. Noah has
owned Forbidden Desires, Inc. for several years since inheriting
it. He owns a successful bar with a club in the back that's
considered one of the hottest spots in New York and has some of the
classiest strippers. He has a legitimate escort service, a webcam
series, a dance studio that teaches pole dancing and a class in the
art of seduction.

Forbidden Desires, Inc. has it all, including a 1-800
number where dirty men can call in and talk to hot, young women.
I'm one of those hot, young women, but Noah doesn't know it and I
hope he never finds out. If he were to find out I'd never hear the
end of it, and then he'd tell Caleb.

Noah's signature may be on my paycheck every week but
he thinks he's signing a check for my best friend
,
Kendall, who works as a secretary at his
office. She set the entire thing up, made up some excuse on why she
needed a separate paycheck for each job title, and every time I
deposit my paycheck in her name, I withdraw a small percentage to
help her out with taxes.

Noah is none the wiser, leaving my secret safe...for
now.

After eating the rest of my chicken and rice take-out
from my favorite restaurant down the street, I leave my glass of
wine on the counter in the kitchen and walk back into the bedroom
and strip naked. I change into my pink fleece unicorn pajama pants
and carry my black tank top with me into the bathroom so I can wash
my face before putting it on. I pull my hair up in a knot and brush
my teeth, glad my night's work is over and I can relax on the sofa
and wait for Caleb to get home.

Sometimes I enjoy the solitude in nights like these.
As much as I love living with Caleb, I like my alone time, too.
There are nights where I've been alone for too long and complain to
Caleb about it, but not tonight. Tonight I'm going to sit around
and watch chick flicks, paint my nails and maybe treat my skin to a
facial. I'll make popcorn along with a mug of hot cocoa and relax
on the sofa until Caleb comes home. It's the perfect way to spend
the rest of the evening.

A sudden burst of noise comes from the living room,
startling me because Caleb's still at work. While most women would
hide or maybe call the police, I run to see who's in our apartment.
With my black tank in my hand and drops of water running down my
face I enter the living room and halt suddenly as I try and cover
up my exposed breasts with the tank top. Noah is sitting on my sofa
in sweatpants and a hoodie
,
scrolling through my Netflix queue and eating an
open box of my favorite butter cookies.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" I ask as I try
and catch my breath. He looks over at me as he shovels a butter
cookie in his mouth. A few crumbs end up at the corner of his lips
drawing my attention to his flawless mouth as I wait for a crumb to
fall in his beard.

"Trying to decide if I should start that new Netflix
o
riginal show or watch
one of Kevin Hart's stand-ups." His eyes focus in on my chest and
the small amount of material I'm trying to cover up with. I'm
surprised when his cheeks flush a bright red. He's embarrassed...
and I'm immediately turned on. My nipples harden and I have to
suppress back a greedy moan.

Whenever Noah's cheeks turn red, or he gets angry,
I've always been turned on. I can't explain why, but it's a bad
habit I need to learn to break.

"Put your shirt on, shorty. I won't look." He covers
his eyes like a child and jokingly parts two of his finger to peek
through. Rolling my eyes I turn my back to him and slip the tank
top on so my body's covered.

Turning back around I look over at the television and
Gilmore Girls is highlighted in the Netflix queue as if he was
going to choose it before I walked in on him. "Don
’
t you have somewhere else you
could be, like, I don't know, watching Netflix in your own
apartment?"

He grabs another one of my favorite cookies and I
stomp over to him, grabbing the cardboard box before he eats all of
them.

"Caleb texted. His boss is making him work through
the night and he hasn't had a chance to step away and call you yet.
He asked me to come over and check up on you. I walked in, you
weren't in my line of sight, and I was distracted by the food in
your kitchen so I grabbed the cookies. I was going to search for
you but then I heard you in the bedroom so I decided to sit here,
eat, and watch Netflix until you came out and I could tell you." He
reaches out and grabs the box of cookies from my hands. "Just for
making me explain I'm eating the rest of your cookies."