Nobody's Perfect (13 page)

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Authors: Marlee Matlin

BOOK: Nobody's Perfect
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“Hey girl, what's up?” said Lizzie.

“Ohmigosh, Lizzie,” Megan signed. “It is so annoying. Have you ever had a girl ignore you just because you're deaf?”

“Hello?” said Lizzie. “It happens all the time.”

“But I mean, more than ignore you,” Megan responded. “Have you ever had a girl be
really mean
to you just because you're deaf?”

Megan watched the screen for Lizzie's response.

Lizzie jumped in her seat and clenched her fists like a prizefighter. “Who was mean to you?” she answered. She bobbed from side to side, pretending to be a boxer.

“It's this girl, Alexis,” said Megan. “But it's not like we actually fight. She's just really mean to me because I'm deaf.”

“Maybe it's not because you're deaf,” said Lizzie. “Maybe she just doesn't like
you
.”

“That's what Matt says,” Megan replied. “But I just found out that she also doesn't like me because I know her brother's autistic.” She spelled the word carefully using the manual alphabet. “Do you know what that means?”

“Autistic?” Lizzie repeated. “Is that when a kid has trouble communicating? Or is that something that happens to a kid in a wheelchair?”

“It's the communication thing,” said Megan.

“That's what I thought,” said Lizzie. “There's an autistic girl at my school, but I don't know her that well. But what does this girl's autistic brother have to do with anything?”

“Maybe she's embarrassed by him and she thinks I'm going to tell people.”


Did
you tell people?”

“Only my dad,” said Megan. “And now you. It's not like it's a big deal. He's autistic. Whatever.”

“Maybe it's a big deal to her,” said Lizzie.

Megan flopped against her desk as though she couldn't stand another word. She pounded her fists against the top of the desk in a big dramatic display of frustration. When Megan looked up at the screen, Lizzie was laughing even as she signed, “I'm serious!”

“My sister used to have huge problems with me being deaf,” said Lizzie. “She was always trying to be extra-special perfect to make up for the fact that she thought I was broken or something.”

“Just like Alexis!” said Megan. “She's one of those girls that everybody thinks is so perfect. Actually, she is kind of perfect. She's smart and athletic and pretty and—”

“If she's that perfect,” Lizzie interrupted, “she should figure out how incredible you are.”

Megan and Lizzie shared a good laugh over that one.

“So maybe her problem is that she has to be double-perfect because she thinks her brother is less than perfect,” Lizzie explained.

“That's what my dad says,” said Megan. “But that's so weird.”

“It happens,” said Lizzie. “Happens all the time. It happened to my sister and me.”

“So why does she have a problem with me?” asked Megan. “I'm not her autistic brother. I'm just this kid at school.”

“Maybe you prove her wrong,” said Lizzie. “ 'Cause you're different and you don't have a problem with it.”

“You think so?” asked Megan.

“I don't know,” said Lizzie. “I don't know the girl.
Ask her
. She's
your
friend.”

Megan wrinkled her nose at the suggestion. “She's not my friend!” she snapped. “She's only my science fair partner.”

“Oh, no!” cried Lizzie. “That's so much worse!” She waved her hands in mock alarm. “A mean science fair partner! I wouldn't want to be in your shoes for anything in the world!”

Megan was laughing too hard to respond.

“What's your science fair project?” Lizzie asked. “Do you rub gum in her hair and see how mad she gets? Do you sneak under her desk and tie her shoelaces together and see if she falls over when she tries to stand up?”

“It's not like that!” said Megan. “We're running a hamster through a maze to see if the hamster chooses the purple room over the red room or the blue room.”

This time Lizzie was laughing so hard she couldn't sign back.

“What's so funny?” asked Megan.

“That poor hamster!” said Lizzie. Megan and Lizzie both shared a good laugh.

“I'm not talking to you anymore,” said Megan, catching her breath. “See you later?”

“Later,” signed Lizzie.

Megan clicked on the window to close her conversation with Lizzie. Then she pivoted in her chair and began digging through zipper pockets on her backpack.

Nothing
, she thought when she came up empty-handed. She poked through her notebooks and thumbed through the pages of her social studies book.
Still nothing
.

Where is it?
Megan asked herself.

She checked the pockets of her warm-up jacket and double-checked her change purse. She even felt around inside her sneakers. It was only when Megan happened to look inside her own purple pencil pouch that she stumbled upon the small slip of paper with Alexis's e-mail address written on it.

Score
, thought Megan.

She pivoted back to the keyboard and clicked on the mouse to open a window and compose a new e-mail.

Hey Alexis:

First off, I'm sorry things got crazy at your house this afternoon. I didn't mean to upset you and—I just didn't mean for that to happen. I only meant to drop off Zippity because he makes my brother sneeze. (Hey, maybe we should change the hamster's name to Sneeze! What do you think?)

I also want to tell you that I really like your little brother. Your mom told me how he's different and all. And I am sure he's probably a huge pain sometimes. (I know my brother can be a pain.) But I'm a little less than perfect myself, so I “get” Justin. Tell him “hey” for me.

Does this make any sense?

All for now—your friend—MEGAN P.S. What's up with the science fair? I still want to do it. Just a question. No big deal. E-mail me back, okay?

Megan hit send.

Immediately she wished that she hadn't pushed send yet. She worried that what she had written sounded dumb or foolish, or that she had said too much when she should have said too little.

But what was the point? She'd sent it now. Alexis would either read the e-mail and like it or read it and not like it at all. It was out of Megan's control.

Except Megan had asked Alexis to e-mail her back. Megan wondered how long she should wait for a response. On heavy homework nights it was easy to get an instant reply from any friend you e-mailed because almost everyone was at the computer. However, Megan had never e-mailed Alexis before, so she didn't know how much time it might take.

Megan updated her e-mail address book and checked the in-box again. Nothing. She deleted some old mail and checked the in-box again. Still nothing. She played a quick game of computer solitaire and checked her in-box one last time. Nothing!

This is ridiculous
, Megan thought.
I should give up.
She was about to shut the computer down when a small box popped open on the screen. It read: “You've got mail.” Megan clicked the mouse to reveal the message, and sure enough, it was from Alexis.

Megan:

If you still want to come over and run our experiment with the hamster maze, I'm here.

Alexis

That was all. No apology. No explanation. No nothing.

Megan wasn't sure what to make of that response. Alexis could have apologized. Alexis could have said, “Megan, you're absolutely right, and I'm totally
wrong
!” Alexis could have said, “Megan, I want you to be my friend and I will do anything to make this up to you.” But all Alexis wanted was for Megan to show up so they could do the stupid hamster maze!

Megan wasn't so sure she wanted to go over there at all. That Alexis girl was too much work. She was too mean! Too perfect! Too difficult! Alexis couldn't even admit she had a problem. She was that stuck up! That worried about looking perfect all the time!

Megan had given Alexis second chance after second chance. Megan didn't think she had any second chances left in her!

At the same time, Megan had promised Mr. Ryan, Ms. Endee,
and
Jann that she and Alexis would work together on the science fair project. This weekend was the only chance to make that happen. And it sounded like Alexis wanted to make that happen too. It wasn't necessarily a matter of helping Alexis pretend to be perfect. It was a matter of Megan meeting her own commitments.

If only Matt hadn't been allergic to Zippity so they could have run the hamster maze at Megan's house instead. Then Megan would never have had to go to Alexis's house in the first place. The last thing she wanted to do was go back to Alexis's now.

At that moment, Matt descended the back stairs into the kitchen, dropping his baseball gear all over the floor. He was frantic and his hair looked like he had just rolled out of bed. “I'm gonna be late for baseball tryouts!” he shouted.

“Are you feeling better?” Megan asked. “Are you still sneezing? Are your gross hives gone?”

“Why didn't anybody wake me?” Matt groused. Apparently he was back to his old self.

“I woke you an hour ago,” said Megan's dad, who had followed Matt down the back stairs, “but you fell back to sleep. I guess you needed the rest.”

“But I said wake me on
time
,” said Matt. “Now I'm gonna be late.”

“Don't look at
me
,” said Megan. “I got up early to save your life by taking Zippity over to Alexis's house, only to get yelled at by Alexis because I was playing with her little brother.”

“What?”
asked Matt. The expression on his face indicated that he didn't want to know the whole story. He simply didn't think Megan was making sense.

“That's not exactly what happened,” said Megan's dad, reaching for the car keys on the hook. “I'll go warm up the car,” he said to Matt, “so I'll be in the driveway when you're ready.”

“So what happened?” said Matt, hurriedly tying the laces on his baseball shoes.

“Alexis has a kid brother who's autistic,” Megan explained. “So he looks normal but he's not.”

“I know what autistic means. It means he's normal but he's got a problem,” Matt said, correcting her. “Being autistic is just a problem.”

“Right, right, right, whatever,” said Megan. “So anyway, Alexis walked in and freaked out because I was playing with her autistic brother, and Dad says it's because Alexis has to be perfect all the time.”

“I gotta go,” said Matt, grabbing his baseball glove and his batting helmet.

“But, Matt,” said Megan, “now Alexis wants me to go over there and do our science fair experiment, but I don't want to go.”

Matt hesitated. “Don't you want to see how Zippity handles the maze?” he asked. “Don't you want to know whether Zippity chooses purple? Don't you want to be in the science fair?”

“Of course I do,” Megan said begrudgingly.

“Then get in the car,” said Matt. “We'll drop you off at Alexis's house on the way.”

“But Matt—,” Megan protested.

“Hurry!” Matt demanded. “I'm already late for tryouts!”

10
Lost and Found

MEGAN'S DAD INSISTED ON WAITING
at the curb until Megan signaled him that somebody had opened the door at Alexis's house. It was Alexis herself who opened the door. There was a slight moment of awkwardness between them but before anyone said anything, Megan motioned “One second!” She leaped off the front step onto the walkway where she waved her arms overhead, signaling her dad that he could pull away from the curb and get Matt to baseball tryouts. Matt was leaning out the car window, doing sign language for “Good luck!” Megan signed “Good luck!” back at him. Alexis was still holding the door open. “I'm sorry about what happened,” she said with a bashful wince.

“Forget about it,” said Megan. “I already did.” Of course, she hadn't forgotten at all. She only said that so they could get on with the hamster experiment. Alexis headed inside and Megan followed.

“I asked Mom to make Justin take his nap so that he won't bug us when we run Zippity through the maze,” said Alexis.

“You don't think he'd want to watch?” said Megan. “He seemed to really like that hamster.”

“Trust me,” said Alexis. “We don't want him in our hair. He's a total pest. If we let him run loose around that hamster, it will be a total disaster.”

“I think your little brother is cute,” said Megan.

Alexis scrunched her face. “Cute? He's not cute.”

“Alexis, he's cute,” Megan insisted. “He's got that curly hair, and he's kind of cuddly, and he runs around all the time like somebody let a teddy bear loose.” Megan snickered, recalling the way Justin collided into everything in the room.

“You don't have to live with him all the time,” said Alexis. “It's a real challenge, believe me. You don't know.”

“You're right,” Megan agreed. “But I live with being deaf. That's a challenge too.”

Alexis hesitated slightly. Then she said, “I don't want to talk about this right now. Maybe we should do the hamster maze.”

“Whatever,” said Megan with a flip of her hand. Alexis led Megan through the kitchen and into the laundry room, where the maze had been stacked on top of the washing machine. Working together, the girls lifted it down and carried it toward the kitchen table. As they did, Alexis asked, “Can't they fix it?”

“Fix what?”

“Your hearing,” said Alexis.

“They can't fix my hearing,” said Megan with a little laugh. “I'm deaf.”

“But can't they fix your ears?” asked Alexis.

“My ears aren't broken,” said Megan. “They don't work. Well, they did for a while when I was really little but it's not like I remember. All I remember is being deaf. So that's me—I'm deaf. That's what I am.”

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