Nobody's Perfect (14 page)

“Sorry,” said Alexis. “I mean I'm sorry you're deaf, and I'm sorry I said something stupid.”

“Don't be sorry,” said Megan. “It makes me who I am. I'm not sorry about it. What fun is that?”

Alexis eyed Megan curiously. “I guess you're right.”

“I know I'm right,” said Megan. “I know a little bit about being deaf.”

Megan smiled and Alexis smiled too. They set the maze down on the kitchen table and adjusted the corner so that it was square. It felt like things were okay between Megan and Alexis. Megan figured she could ask a tough question of her own but she approached it carefully. “Hey, Alexis. Can I ask you a question?” she said. “You could totally have won that spelling bee, right? You're smart. You know how to spell ‘perceive.' You only let Ronnie Jiu win because you didn't want to win,” said Megan. “Am I right?”

“Maybe,” Alexis said sheepishly.

Megan figured, under the circumstances, “maybe” was as good as “yes.” “Why did you do that?”

“I didn't say I did. I only said maybe.”

“Right,” said Megan, unconvinced. “You want to know what I think?”

“Not really.”

“I think you lost the spelling bee because you didn't want your whole family to show up at the big spelling bee finals,” Megan continued.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Megan crossed her arms and spoke her mind. “You were afraid your mom would show up at the spelling bee with your little brother, Justin, and embarrass you.

Alexis rolled her eyes like she couldn't believe her ears. “I don't know where you came up with that,” she said. “I wanted to win the spelling bee. ‘Perceive' is just one of those words I always mess up. Ask my mom. I came home and cried because I messed up that stupid word.”

“Really?”

“I'm not a great loser,” said Alexis. “My dad has this thing about—‘aim for excellence'—and he gets really disappointed when I'm not the best at something.”

Megan tilted her head. “My dad says there's no chance that anybody in my family is perfect.”

“You're lucky,” said Alexis. “My mom and dad expect me to be perfect.”

Megan tilted her head to the other side. “Really?”

“It feels that way sometimes,” said Alexis.

“Your mom didn't seem like that to me.”

“Stick around,” said Alexis. “You haven't even met my dad yet.”

Megan shook her head, unconvinced. “I think you're the one who likes being perfect,” she said, poking a finger at Alexis. “Perfect is easy for you.”

“It's not that easy,” said Alexis.

“So you admit that you're perfect?”

Alexis leaned against the table. “I think maybe we better do the hamster experiment,” she said.

Megan could tell Alexis wanted to change the subject. “Okay, sure,” she agreed although neither of them budged. They stood at opposite ends of the kitchen table with the hamster maze between them. Megan's lips were pursed as though she had something on her mind. She hadn't planned on saying what she said next, but for some reason she felt like being really direct with Alexis. Megan had been totally honest when Alexis asked her about being deaf, but she didn't think Alexis had been 100 percent honest when she had asked her about losing the spelling bee. Megan felt that surprising Alexis with a hard-to-ask question might force her to be more honest—and before Megan knew it, the hard-to-ask question popped out.

“Alexis, you don't like deaf people, do you?”

Alexis looked surprised. “That's not true.”

“I think it is,” Megan replied. “Because of the way you acted when you first met me and—well, I still think it sometimes.”

Alexis's mouth hung open for a few seconds. She couldn't think of anything to say.

“You're so mean to me all the time,” Megan continued. “It seems like you never look at me when I'm talking to you. I do nice things for you, and you never say ‘thank you.' Not really.”

Megan was on a roll.

“And Alexis, you don't know it,” she added, “but you scrunch your nose when you talk to a person you don't like.” Megan circled the table, scrunching her nose in an imitation of Alexis with an attitude.

“I do not do that!” Alexis protested. Then she shielded her nose behind her hand.

“You do it a lot,” said Megan, nodding. It was just a fact.

“Do I?” asked Alexis, lowering her hand. “How can you do something and not even know about it?”

“Don't ask me,” said Megan. “You're the one who does it.”

“But that's so weird!”

“Not so weird,” said Megan. “Besides, my dad says people aren't ‘weird.' He says, ‘People are different.' ”

“Now I'm afraid to react to anything,” said Alexis. “It's like I can't control it.”

“It's okay,” said Megan, tugging gently on Alexis's arm. “I'm used to it. I already figured out that you don't like me.”

“I like you fine,” Alexis protested. “I like you a lot! I don't know why you think I don't!”

“You're doing that thing with your nose again,” said Megan, pointing at Alexis's face. Alexis was upset and defensive, and her nose twitched like a rabbit.

Alexis gasped and turned bright red. She leaned over to the toaster to peek at her nose.

“Believe me now?” said Megan.

Alexis faced Megan. “I do like you, Megan,” she said. “Maybe I was uncomfortable at first, I don't know. I was in a new school. I didn't know anybody. And I hadn't met anyone like you before.”

“You never met anyone who was deaf?” asked Megan.

“I'd met deaf kids before. I'd met lots of kids who are ‘different' before.”

“So how come you didn't like me?” asked Megan.

“I liked you fine,” Alexis insisted. “But you were so popular. And you had so many friends. I'd never met anyone like
you
.”

“So how come you said no when I invited you to my party?” Megan held out a hand as though she expected Alexis to drop her answer into it.

Alexis flipped her hair out of her face and then she said, “Maybe you're right. Kids who are different make me nervous. It's like with my brother. I never know what to expect.”

“But you know what to expect with
me
,” said Megan. “I have always been nice to you.”

“Not really,” said Alexis. “You're kind of moody. Sometimes you're hard to talk to. You always have to be the center of attention. And sometimes you're friendly and other times you're judging me or waiting for me to mess up. It's like you expect me to be perfect all the time. It makes me really nervous.”

That wasn't the response Megan had expected. This time it was Megan's turn to let her mouth hang open. She couldn't think of anything to say except, “Wow, I had no idea.”

“It's kind of true,” said Alexis.

The girls sat in silence for a moment, both deep in thought. Megan was wondering if she had a mistaken impression of Alexis—and Alexis was wondering the same thing about Megan. Megan suspected she was right about Alexis—Megan's radar went off when people were uncomfortable with deafness.
But maybe
, she thought,
maybe I should cut Alexis some slack.
Megan couldn't imagine what it would be like to have people expect you to be perfect all the time.

At the same time, Megan wondered if what Alexis said was true—about her being moody and difficult, and having to be the center of attention. Megan had so much to think about that her head was spinning.

Megan sat straight up and flapped her hands to clear the air of all these thoughts. “So, Alexis,” she declared, “all I really meant to say was that—even though we don't always get along—you're still invited to my birthday party. In case you were wondering.”

Alexis smiled a bit, but she didn't say yes or no. She didn't even say “Thanks.” She only shrugged.

Megan shrugged too. “Yeah, so you let me know when you make up your mind whether to come to my party or not. Whatever. In the meantime we better run that hamster through our maze.”

“Good idea,” Alexis said, raising a hand, “but Megan, before we get started—if I ask a favor, do you promise not to get mad?”

“Why would I get mad?”

“Just promise.”

“I won't get mad,” said Megan, raising her own hand in the Brownie pledge. “I promise.”

Alexis began shyly. “It's okay if you know about Justin and his condition,” she said, “but could you keep it a secret? Just for now? I don't want all the other kids at school talking about it or asking me questions about it or whatever.”

“I can keep a secret! Trust me! Your secret's safe with me!” Megan zipped her lip and threw away the imaginary key. “But Justin
is
your kid brother,” she continued, “and he happens to be autistic. You can't keep it a secret for
life
.”

Alexis didn't say anything.

I guess I got her
, thought Megan.
She didn't have an answer for that.

“Like, I mean,” Megan went on, “my brother doesn't ever try to keep
me
a secret.”

“You? Fat chance keeping
you
a secret,” Alexis said, and laughed. Her laughter caught Megan by surprise. “You're having a big birthday party, and your favorite color is purple. Your best friend is Cindy, and you're not crazy about grammar or spelling but you work real hard, and you're really good at math.
And
you're deaf. I've only known you a week and look how much I know about you.”

“I know stuff about you,” Megan argued back. “I know you're practically perfect, but you're really shy.”

“I'm not that shy,” said Alexis.

“I know that now,” said Megan, “but look how hard I had to work! You should let people know you're not shy. People would like you.”

Alexis was quiet for a moment. Then all she said was, “Maybe.”

Megan gave Alexis a sock in the arm. “Let's go get this hamster,” she said. Megan cupped her hands and called about the kitchen like she was hollering for pigs. “Wake up, Zippity! It's showtime! Where's that hamster? Where's Zippity?”

Alexis laughed at Megan's antics. “I think he's in the den,” she said.

“Let's go!” cried Megan, swatting Alexis and running for the door.

The girls charged into the den, racing each other to reach the hamster cage. “First!” cried Megan when she tagged the short black table. Megan was a bit out of breath from their mad dash, and she was still laughing.

But Alexis wasn't.

“Oh, no!” she cried, peering into the cage.

“What's the matter?”

“The hamster!” Alexis said, raising the empty cage. “Zippity is gone!”

“HE COULDN'T HAVE GONE FAR,”
said megan. “Zippity has to be here somewhere.”

The girls perched on either side of the empty cage. Zippity was definitely gone. Megan had even stuck her hand inside the cage to pat among the wood chips and make sure that the hamster wasn't just hiding. All she found was the little rubber ball that Zippity used as a toy.

Alexis was distraught. “But what if we don't find him? Mr. Ryan made us responsible for his life! How are we going to explain to the whole class that Zippity ran away while we were supposed to be watching him?”

“Maybe he didn't run away,” said Megan. “Maybe your mom is playing with him.”

Alexis looked doubtful. “I don't think my mom plays with hamsters,” she said.

“Maybe your dad.”

“My dad's away on a business trip,” said Alexis. “He won't be back until Monday.”

“So what about Justin?” asked Megan.

Alexis's eyes grew wide with concern. “Oh, no,” she cried. “You don't think—Oh, no!—Justin!” Alexis got up from the table and paced back and forth across the den.

“Justin really liked the hamster,” said Megan, trying to be helpful. “Maybe he took him out. Or maybe he accidentally let him out. Or maybe—”

“Or maybe he hurt him!” said Alexis, really upset. “Justin plays too rough! He always plays too rough! I knew it was a good idea to keep Justin out of sight! He always ruins things! Now Justin's going to be the one who hurt the hamster, and everyone in the whole school is going to know about it.” She stopped in her tracks. “And the whole school's going to know about Justin!”

“It's no good freaking out about it, Alexis,” said Megan. “We should concentrate on finding Zippity. If we find him and he's okay, our problem is solved.”

“But how are we going to find one little fur ball in this great big house? We already know he can run and he can squeeze himself into little corners and little hiding places!”

“You're still freaking out, Alexis,” said Megan, trying to stay calm herself. She tightened her lips and tried to think. “Maybe the first thing we should do is—” Megan stopped. She didn't have any idea what to do.

“The first thing is what?”

Megan pointed upstairs. “The first thing is to go to Justin's room and see if he has Zippity. They might be curled up in a ball together and everything will be all right.”

The girls raced upstairs to Justin's room. Alexis didn't even bother to knock on the door. “Justin!” she cried.

But Justin's room was empty.

“I thought you said he was taking a nap,” said Megan.

“He was,” said Alexis. Even so, Justin's bed was empty.

Alexis walked knowingly to Justin's closet and searched inside. She appeared to know Justin's favorite hiding places. She opened the toy chest and poked among the stuffed animals. Then she got on her haunches and looked under the bed.
“Justin!”
she said, rather harshly.