North Star Guide Me Home (22 page)

‘I must also inform you, your grace,’ Sukaro went on, ‘that my assistants and I are all mages of some skill. Should you wish to make contact with the prince, or send a message to Lady Mirasada and her companions, we are at your service.’

Cam stared at the missive, and the bold hand with which
His Grace, Prince Cammarian Angessovar of Ricalan
had been scrawled across the front of the sheaf of papers. ‘My thanks, emissary. I shall read this with interest. Now, I’m sure you understand we have much to discuss …’

‘Of course, your grace. If there is any service I can provide, I will be honoured to attend on you whenever you wish.’

‘Thank you. Commander Tanric, please find accommodation for our guests. If there is anything you require, emissary, inform the commander and it will be provided.’

With the thick, creamy pages of the prince’s missive clutched in one suddenly sweating hand, Cam turned away and started back to his cottage with his head spinning and his feet quite numb.
A son
, he thought to himself.
I have a son …

Once inside, Rhia insisted on hearing the tale of Isidro’s missing arm, and he saw nothing for it but to strip off so she could see the damage for herself.

She examined the stump minutely, squeezing to feel the short remnants of bones and pressing on the scar with a force that made him wince.

‘Who did this?’ she asked.

He didn’t want to answer. He knew it would bring a fresh flurry of questions, about matters he didn’t want to go into and scarce remembered, in any case. But it would have been a poor measure of their friendship to refuse. ‘Rasten.’

Rhia looked up at him with wide eyes. ‘He knew what he was doing. He filed the cut ends smooth, I can feel it.’

Isidro shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t know.’

She pressed on the scars again, and it hurt enough that Isidro pulled away with a muttered curse. ‘A pity he didn’t show as much care in letting it heal,’ she said.

‘He was gone by then,’ Isidro said, ‘but it’s healed cleanly.’

‘The scar has grown into the flesh beneath. I’ll make you some salve to rub in three times a day, and try to tear it loose. Then it will not be so tender. Now,’ she said, ‘let me look at those cuts.’

She was silent as she examined the wide purple scars, running cold fingers over his skin. ‘Did Rasten see to these as well?’

‘No. That was Sirri.’ He remembered the tug of the thread through his skin, and Rasten’s silhouette as he slumped on filthy blankets on the other side of the fire.

‘Ah. They do not show the same skill, but they have healed well enough. The hand … I know you never wanted this, but you truly are better off. Just don’t ever get scurvy; these wounds will likely kill you if you do.’

He reached for his shirt again. ‘Have no fear of that. We of the north aren’t prone to it, and once I get home again I don’t have any mind to leave.’

Rhia frowned. ‘It is rare in Ricalan … but here I’ve seen northerners with the signs. Perhaps it’s not the northerners who have resistance, but that the north itself imparts some defence …’ she broke off with a shrug. ‘But greater healers than me have tried and failed to discover a cure.’ With that, she took his face in her hands. She peeled back his eyelids and his lips to check the colour of the skin beneath, probed cold fingers under his jaw, and smelled his breath before leaning back again. ‘You lost a great deal of blood, Issey.’

‘So I’m told,’ he said, reaching for his shirt.

‘How do you feel? Are you tired easily? Short of breath? Dizzy if you rise too quickly? Do you find yourself slow-witted and confused?’

Not any more, Bright Sun be thanked,
Isidro thought. ‘I’m fine. Now.’

She leant back to frown up at him. ‘You are very pale, still. Look —’ she took his hand and peered at his fingernails. ‘See how white they are? And your heart is beating fast, too.’ She studied him, scowling, until at last she threw up her hands with a sigh. ‘I don’t understand. You should not be so strong and alert … and yet here you sit, talking to me like nothing happened. But I suppose it does not matter whether I understand. You’re whole and well, that’s what counts.’

She looked utterly despondent. He knew the value she placed on knowledge — after everything Rhia had lost in her life, all she’d endured to survive, her knowledge and her craft had become her comfort and the core of her identity. He knew just what that felt like.

‘It’s mage-craft, Rhia,’ he said. ‘For a long time I was witless as a new babe, but then … something happened when I was travelling west with Kell, and power filled in the gaps, in a way.’

She considered his words carefully, but in the end she shook her head. ‘I still don’t understand.’

‘No,’ he said with a sigh. ‘No more do I. But at least now you know
why
you don’t understand.’

She smiled at that, tossing back her tawny curls. ‘True. That is something, I suppose. Very well, Isidro, just make sure you eat well … rich food with variety, not just meat and bread. Your body still has much strength to restore, along with the blood you lost.’

As long as he had power to feed him, he’d manage. Isidro just nodded.

Rhia leant back, eyes roving over him with an assessing gaze. He didn’t like the way it made him feel — examined, like an interesting and unusual specimen. ‘What?’ he said.

‘How are you feeling, Isidro?’

‘I told you,’ he said. ‘I’m fine.’

Rhia shook her head. ‘In spirit, I mean, not in body. You seem to me … very brittle, and low. Not the same as you were in Demon’s Spire, but close.’

He could feel the muscles of his neck and back growing tense. He wanted to roll his shoulders to ease them, but he knew she’d understand what he was doing. ‘Rhia —’

‘You’ve travelled a hard road since last winter. You could think of nothing but survival, and you have had no time to heal. You must be exhausted.’

He clenched his teeth. ‘The wounds have knit, Rhia. You saw it for yourself.’

‘You know I’m not speaking of physical wounds.’ She cocked her head to one side, still watching him. ‘You have suffered a great deal.’

‘Does no good to dwell on it,’ Isidro muttered.

‘But you cannot just ignore it, either. Is Delphine still helping you keep your feet?’

His power was starting to rise in response to his tension, twining around his spine like a strangling vine. He took a deep breath and tried to force it down. ‘No,’ he said.

‘It must have been a shock, to find her bearing your child. I know I was surprised. But it was an accident. I gave her the women’s herbs, but then she fled with Cam.’

‘I know. They told me the tale.’

‘And how do you feel about the child?’

He wanted to pace, but he forced himself to stay still as the power within him climbed higher. ‘By the Black Sun, Rhia, how do you think I feel? I was Kell’s cursed prisoner through the summer and since then I’ve been as witless as a babe myself. And now we’ve got no way home and another wretched war to fight when we get there, and the midwives say the baby could come in weeks. Cam’s been here for Delphine, though. He’s more a father to that babe than I am.’

‘He stepped in when you could not, and you’d do the same for him.’

That’s not the point,
Isidro thought.

‘Isidro … you cannot help what has befallen you. You have done your best.’

She laid a hand on his arm, and at that touch, the power building within him boiled over. He tried to clamp down on it, but it was a futile effort — between the tension in his muscles and the harsh jangling of his nerves, he stood no chance. He jerked back as power flowed through him like molten glass and spilled from his hand, a swarm of black serpent-like strands, tinged with bloody red as they swarmed up his arm.

Rhia threw herself back with a yelp of sudden fright, her eyes growing wide. With a silent curse, Isidro tried to reel it in, but clenching his fist only gave it more strength.

Power rose in his throat, threatening to choke him. Even if he could have found the words to explain himself, he knew he was past speaking. Instead he turned on his heel and left, kicking the door open and sending it bouncing off the wall.

In the hall beyond he almost walked into Sierra — she must have felt his power flare. She gave him a wide-eyed look, but stepped back as he stalked outside into the chill winter air.

It took him hours to bring his power back under control. He found a sheltered spot beyond the edge of the village and tried to meditate as Delphine had taught him, but his power was like a vicious beast on a chain, full of boundless energy that craved release. It set steam rising from the damp rocks around him, and wilted the winter grass at his feet. By the time he tamed it, the sun was sinking and he was surrounded by twenty feet of scorched earth and blackened grass.

It left him exhausted, but he was still not game to go back to Cam’s cottage, not until he heard footsteps coming towards him through the gloom. ‘Issey?’

It was Cam’s voice drifting through the air. Isidro turned to find him with one of Delphine’s lanterns hanging from his fist. Isidro didn’t realise how stiff he was until he tried to move.

‘Are you going to sit out here all night?’ Cam said.

The idea had a certain appeal. He wouldn’t have to face Rhia again, or Delphine. ‘It’s a thought,’ he said.

Cam came around the section of broken wall and settled beside him. ‘Rhia’s upset. She didn’t realise she was pushing you too hard.’

‘She wasn’t to know what it’d do. Fires Below, I never know myself what’ll set it off.’

‘Is it getting any better?’ Cam asked.

‘Hard to say. The spills are less frequent now, but they’re stronger.’ He rubbed at the back of his neck, and sighed. ‘And I’ve run out and left you to deal with this news …’

‘Don’t worry about it. You need to look after yourself.’

Isidro tossed his head with a hiss of annoyance. ‘What’s the situation?’

‘This Makaio claims he doesn’t want Akhara to have Ricalan’s forests and mines. It seems the empire can’t meet its own appetites, and his nation has been filling the gap. But if Akhara can keep our reserves …’

Isidro nodded. ‘That makes sense. Or it’s a plausible lie, at least. Do you believe them?’

Cam paused. ‘Sirri thinks they’re playing us.’

‘She might be right.’

‘Mm. The emissary offered to set up a meeting. If they mean to keep Mira and the others as hostages, they’re taking a cursed big risk letting Sirri get close.’

‘Unless they have a plan to deal with her, too.’

‘Exactly.’

‘So what are you going to do?’

Cam gazed off into the dark fields around him. ‘I set up the meeting. We’ve arranged to meet in two days on the coast. I said we’d move to the next village tomorrow and set out for the meeting the day after, but I mean to ride straight there. If he’s playing us, we’ll take him by surprise.’

‘If he’s deceiving us, Mira and the others won’t be there.’

‘True, but it seems we’ll have a way to know,’ Cam said, and pulled something out of his sash — a stone the size of a hen’s egg, roughly carved and set in a metal fitting with a chain. ‘One of Delphine’s old students defected and joined Mira’s service, and she made this for Rhia to pass on to us. Delphine says it’s some kind of homing device paired with a stone the other lass carries. When it’s activated, it ought to lead us to her like a game of blind man’s bluff. If Mira and the others are being kept elsewhere when Makaio comes to meet with us, we’ll know.’

Isidro took the stone. He could feel the power in it, but only just. ‘That must be Alameda,’ he said. ‘She always was a clever one.’

‘That’s what Delphi said.’

Isidro handed it back. Just like Mira to have a fallback plan. ‘And if this prince takes offence?’

Cam scowled. ‘If he expects us to blindly trust a man we’ve never met, who has the lives of Mira and my son in his hands, then he’s too great a fool to be any good to us anyway. If he’s a reasonable sort, he’ll understand.’

‘Sounds fair. It’s all in place, then?’

‘Mm. I sent a rider ahead to have fresh horses waiting for us. Delphi will have to halt at that point — she can’t make that distance in her condition. I’m leaving Madric and a contingent of mages as well as a good number of men to guard her.’

Isidro nodded.

‘I wanted to wait for you to come back before I set it all up, Issey, but time was running short —’

‘You didn’t need me. Just as well, really. Lately I’m not exactly reliable.’

Cam was silent at that. ‘I’d rather have had you there, all the same,’ he said finally. ‘But you do what you need to do, Issey, and the rest of us will manage.’

Isidro scraped his hand through his hair. ‘By the Black Sun, I’m so sick of this, Cam. I just want to be back to normal. I hate leaving you to handle everything on your own. Scaring Rhia like that. Leaving Delphine to deal with the baby by herself. It’s not good enough. I … I’m letting everyone down.’

‘The hell you are. Look, this last year’s been cursed hard on you —’

‘It’s been hard on all of us!’

‘You more than most.’

Isidro looked down at his left hand resting on his knee, and the vacancy where the right should have been. ‘I’m never there when you need me. I got Delphi with child and left her to fend for herself. And Sirri … Sirri …’ When he thought of her, the words wouldn’t come, but he had to swallow hard against the lump in his throat. He still couldn’t decide how he felt about her. It changed too much from day to day, from moment to moment. Sometimes he remembered how it felt to wrap his arms around her and feel her power rise up within her. But sometimes he could only think of the day he’d woken to learn that she’d abandoned them all to give herself to Rasten, and cursed near led Cam to his death in doing so. He knew why she’d done it, now — he’d made the same choice when he’d let Kell capture him, but that knowledge didn’t lessen the pain he’d felt on finding her gone, on realising that he’d failed to protect her from what she’d endured at Kell’s hands. It didn’t ease the sense of abandonment.

And then he’d abandoned her in turn. Those dark days in the Spire had been an agony of despair, when the world turned bleak and hopeless and the future offered only pain. The only way he could deal with it was to cut himself off, to turn the pain into anger and sever the ties between them. There was nothing he could have done to help her, and so he’d simply abandoned her to her fate.