Not Damaged (3 page)

“I know but look what happened. I was a few minutes behind
and another guy tried to steal you away from me. I’m not having that.”

Her giggling stopped. “I wouldn’t have gone anywhere. I’m
not easy or anything.”

Reaching across, he grabbed her hand, squeezing it. “I never
said you were, baby. You’ve got to know how hot you are. So many men want you.
They’re all ready for me to move aside so they can have you to themselves.”

“Not happening.” She squeezed his hand back. When she made
no move to pull away, he kept their fingers locked together, driving one
handed. He liked her touch. Happiness shined from her face when he glanced
toward her.

The drive took over twenty minutes before he found a parking
space in an underground unit. Paying for the parking, he climbed out going to
the trunk. “I’ve got a picnic for us to enjoy.”

She rubbed her hands together.

“I’ve also got the perfect location. Come on.” He offered
his arm and she linked hers through his. Together they headed out to the warm
summer afternoon. The streets were busy but they made it over the road and into
the park area where people could eat. “Have you ever been here before?”

“Nah, I usually eat a sandwich outside or wait until I get
home.”

“Come on, I’ve got a good spot near the pond.” He led the
way through the throng of people toward his favorite area. The pond was busy
with plenty of ducks, birds, and swans.

“Wow,” she said, resting her hands on her hips.

Her heels were sinking into the grass. Grabbing the blanket
bound on top of the basket, he placed it on the ground before easing her down.
Going to her feet, he slid the heels off.

“Oh, what are you doing?” she asked. Her cheeks were a
lovely rouge color.

“We’re in a park. You don’t need to be wearing these killer
heels but I’ll certainly be asking you to wear them again.” His thoughts were
filled with how the heels would feel digging into his back as he rode her pussy
hard.

Placing them beside her, he took a seat on the other side,
getting close to her.

“Did you sleep well last night?” he asked.

“Yes, did you?”

She was always so polite.

“Yes.” After he’d brought himself to orgasm, cleaned away
the mess he slept like a baby with no dreams at all.

They sat together staring out across the pond. Several small
children were throwing bread to the ducks. Every time he came to this spot he
always felt at peace.

“This is a lovely place,” she said, resting her head on his
shoulder.

“Good. I think it’s a great place to wind down from work,
especially dealing with clients I imagine you get all the time.” He rested back
on his hands, liking the way she rested against him.

“Yeah, we get all kinds of cases.
Divorce,
murder, family, and a few others that have gone out of my head.”
She
rested a palm against her forehead. “It’s hard at times watching them all come
through knowing some of them are suffering.”

He listened to her talk. Ryan believed part of her problem
was she rarely got the chance to really talk without someone dissecting
everything she said.

“I see some women who come in and are happy to be getting a
divorce. They’re happy to get severance pay or something for time taken. I
don’t like them so much, especially if kids are involved. I’ve seen
gold-diggers at first hand. It’s surprising how upset some of the men get when
they realize they’ve been used.”

“It’s a hard business, honey.”

“Yeah, then there are the women who love their man and
they’ve been replaced by a younger model.” She sighed. “I think I need to look
for another job. I’m starting to sound depressing.”

“No, it’s good to talk.”

After several minutes of silence he reached out toward the
basket. “Are you ready for some good food?” he asked.

“Yes, I really am.” Her beautiful smile stopped him for a
moment. Something different was happening to him. The woman before him wasn’t
just a challenge to him, she meant so much more.

They barely knew each other and he forced that knowledge to
the back of his mind. There was no need for him to get all serious. He’d take
each day as it came before heading into any kind of relationship.

* * * *

How did he do it?

Jesse watched him unload the picnic basket he brought,
wondering what it was about him that made her feel so comfortable. Not one
member of her family asked about her job, not one. They never allowed her to
talk about her life. Thinking about her time with her family, most of her time
was spent listening to them talk about their achievements.

Everyone disappeared when she tried to talk. All of them
thought she still suffered and preferred not to listen.

Jake only listened to part of her life. He still saw her as
damaged. How could she move on when no one would let her?

“Thank you,” she said.

“What?” he asked, dishing out little portions of everything
onto a
plate.

“For letting me talk. It has been so long since I’ve talked
about work or anything.” She frowned, looking up at him. “It’s insane.”

“No, it’s not insane." He offered her a spoonful of
something. "Open.”

Opening her lips, the flavor of a pepper pasta salad
exploded on her tongue.

“Good?”

“Very good.
I like everything with
spice in.”

“Do you cook?” he asked, offering her something else.

“Yes, I love cooking. I live in a small one bedroom house on
the outskirts of the city. I’ve got a proper range cooker but I don’t always
get a chance to use it.” Her family rarely asked her to bring anything to
dinner.

They’ve been there for
you.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“What?”

“You were thinking something you didn’t like, what was it?”

“
Erm
, I was thinking about my
family and how they’ve been with me over the years. I don’t know.” Tucking some
loose strands of hair behind her ear, she stared out over the lake.

“They’ve been there for you yet you feel they’re keeping you
trapped in a little box labelled
fragile
?”

She gasped, turning back to look at him. “How do you know?”

“I know you. You’re a lot easier to read than you realize.”
He shrugged. “You’re not a hard person to understand.” Another forkful of food
was pressed into her mouth.

“They rarely let me talk about my life after what happened.”
She ate some more food, watching him as he took some for his own.

“You talked to someone about what happened?”

“Yes. I’ve been talking to the same woman for the past ten
years.”

“Tell me how you feel. Don’t hold anything back.”

“You’re a stranger. I can’t talk to a stranger about this.”
She sat up, crossing her legs in front of her.

Ryan placed his jacket over her legs. “I’m not having any
other man looking at your pussy. You were showing everything that’s mine.”

Heat filled her cheeks at the intensity of his stare.

“Thank you.”

“The psychiatrist you spoke to started out life as a
stranger. Why not talk to me? I’m not going to hurt you or make you tell me
something you don’t know.” He passed her a made up plate, which she took from
him.

Watching him eat she found herself relaxing in his company.
“Once I start talking about what happened people have a tendency to disappear.”

“I’m not walking away, and I’m not asking you to relive what
happened. Just talk about your own feelings about what you want.” He ate in
between talking.

Silence fell as she stared across the pond. Unlike her
family, Ryan wasn’t pressuring her or demanding that she seek help. He wasn’t
even trying to make her see someone to help her deal.

Licking her dry lips, she thought back to that time.

“I was taken for two days,” she said. “He tied me to a chair
to start off with.” They sat in the open air with people walking around them
but not too close they could hear her speaking. “He talked constantly about the
future. At first I was terrified, actually I was scared throughout it all. I
didn’t know who he was, and I wanted to go home. He fed me and at night he,
erm
, he forced himself on me but it wasn’t painful beside
the loss of my virginity.”

Ryan touched her hand, offering her strength.

“Anyway, afterward I found out he’d done it to other girls
in three different states. They finally found him and it ended in a shootout
where he died.” Eating some of her food, Jesse talked about what happened
without feeling sick or hurting. She only wanted to get passed everything and
to move onto something more.

No man ever stuck around after she told them the truth.
Jesse told Ryan everything, how the man had made love to her rather than
physically hurt her.

“I had nightmares a couple of weeks after but once I talked
with my psychiatrist I stopped. I’ve always been able to deal with everything
that’s happened to me logically. It hurt and I hate the fact I suffered it but
I don’t want my whole life to be about what happened over ten years ago. I’m
stronger than that.” She pressed a hand to her heart really feeling the words
she spoke down to her soul.

“What does your family think?”

“They think I’m fragile and I’ll break at the first hurdle.
I’m not damaged or broken. You know, today was the first time I talked about my
job.” She laughed, the noise sounded forced even to her. “What’s worse is I
know my family love me and they wouldn’t dream of letting me think like that.”

“You’re family love you, Jesse. I’ve got no doubt of that
even Jake loves you like a friend but they’re afraid. They don’t know how to
move on.” He released her hand to finish eating.

“What do you suggest I do?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Jesse. They’re your family.”

“I’m seeing them tomorrow. I don’t know if I can handle
being with them now.” Tears filled her eyes at the unfairness of it all.

“We’ll get through this together, Jesse. You’ll visit your
family tomorrow like normal.”

Staring at her lap, her nerves started to get the better of
her. “Will you want to see me again?”

Ryan cupped her face, tilting her head back. “Baby, we’re
not done at all. We’ll be seeing a hell of a lot more of each other in the
future.” He pressed his face against hers. His lips brushed over hers. She
wanted his kiss. “We’ve got so much to explore with each other, sub.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Chapter Three

The following Friday Ryan sat at his office desk going
through some of the membership requests made in the last month. He liked to
check through all of the applications personally while also conducting a
background check on every member. Out of the ten he was checking through, two
of them wished to become a full-time Dominant within his club. One of them he’d
consider but the other stretched the limits of what he accepted in his club.

Knife and blood play was accepted but for Ryan that took the
boundaries of his desire for Extreme too far. Before setting up his club he’d
been part of a private one that accepted anything. He’d seen knife play
performed under proper supervision. Extreme would not be accepting that kind of
play anytime soon as he opened to the whole of the public. Picking up the
phone, he declined the membership, giving his doubts and the wished the man
well in the future. There was no bad blood and soon he moved onto the next
call, organizing an interview to see the Dom in question in action.

All the time he worked he couldn’t stop thinking about his
blonde bombshell waiting for him at her house. She phoned him earlier asking
for him to stop by to stay. In the last week he had stayed in her house twice.
Nothing happened between them as he slept on the sofa in the living room.
Slowly, he started to see her bloom. Her fears of him were disappearing every
day he spent with her.

Placing the phone back in the cradle, he declined three more
applications as other places spoke of their violent behaviors. Once he settled
on the people who would be allowed membership into Extreme, he sat back
enjoying a few minutes of peace.

His peace was short lived as a knock sounded on the door.

“Come in,” he called out. The door opened and he pulled the
folders into one neat pile before filing them away in his cabinet.

Jake stood in the doorway before closing it behind him.

“What do I owe this visit to?” he asked, taking his seat
back at the table.

“I wanted to talk to you about Jesse.”

“We have an agreement, Jake.” He stared at the other man waiting
for whatever warning Jake felt he had the right to voice.

“I know. I just need to make sure everything is going okay.
I mean, I saw her at dinner on Sunday—”

Ryan knew all about the dinner. At around five in the
afternoon, Jesse phoned him to tell him everything that happened. Holding his
hand up in the air, he waited for Jake to stop talking. “I’m not going to talk
to you about my woman or my methods with her. You had your chance and it wasn’t
working between you.”

“I don’t want to cause any problems.”

“You’re causing problems now by thinking I’m going to talk
about our time together with you.” He leaned forward, resting his arms on the
desk. “Let me make one thing clear, Jake. You passed her on and she’s no longer
your concern. I’m going to take care of Jesse how I see fit.”

“She means a lot.”

“Yet you’re not in love with her. Your feelings are of
friendship not lust or love. You’ve never made her feel like you wanted
forever,” Ryan said, feeling defensive against the man opposite him.

“You’re wrong. I care about her. She means the world to me.
I’d hate to have anything happen to her. Jesse doesn’t want anything—”

Shaking his head, Ryan glared at the other man. “You don’t
even have a clue what Jesse wants. She’s a lot stronger than you or that family
of hers gives her credit for.”

“You’ve only known her a week,” Jake said.

Ryan stared at him without saying a word.

“We’ll not be talking about this again, Jake. The same rules
apply. Do not think to say anything to me about Jesse. Now, get out.”

He waited for the other man to leave before he relaxed back
into his chair.

Checking the time he saw it was close to midnight. He picked
up the phone to dial Jesse’s number.

She answered on the second ring. “Hello,” she said, sounding
awake and alert.

“Hi, honey, I’m not going to be done for another hour. Are
you sure you want me to still come see you tonight?” he asked, wishing she’d
say yes. In the last week he’d grown attached to her as well.

They hadn’t developed their relationship and were more
friends than anything else. He knew in time they would be more. Their
attraction between each other would see to that.

“Yes, I’ve not got work tomorrow. This Saturday is my day
off.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

“Drive safe.”

He hung up the phone. Earlier in the week he talked with
David to discover a little more about her at work.

Jesse, from what he learned, was quiet, hard-working, and
everyone kept trying to lure her into a personal assistant role. So far she had
turned down three of the lawyers working in the office, each within a different
area of the law. Her dedication to the clients and work made her an asset they
didn’t want to lose. Ryan also found out about her being head hunted for a
personal assistant role in other firms. He knew Jesse enough to know her loyalty
would stay with the firm she worked.

Grabbing the other files in his workload he went through
several more contracts, along with the collar ceremonies he hosted for
exclusive members of the club. In the last month there were three collaring
occasions he needed to organize. Signing off on them, he placed them in the
correspondence tray. He would talk with the couples in question the following
week.

An hour later, he went to see Bill to make sure his club was
still thriving before he headed out for the night. Seeing Jesse was fast
becoming one of his favorite things to do.

* * * *

Staring at the clock, Jesse tried not to count down the time
until Ryan would arrive. She walked toward her window looking out to see if she
saw any sign of his car.
Nothing.
She dropped the
curtain, grabbed her cup from the side drawer beside her bed and headed
downstairs.

Putting the kettle on, she started to make a cup of tea. She
really did love drinking tea late at night, one of her guilty pleasures. The
chocolate cake she’d baked that night stood covered on a cake stand glaring at
her to devour. Her mouth watered for a taste of the crumbly cake flesh. Instead
of grabbing a fork and just digging in she waited for Ryan to turn up.

Spending the afternoon with him on Saturday made seeing her
family the following day easier. None of them asked her about her time, which
she was thankful for. She spent the time at her parents thinking about Ryan and
what he’d said to her.

He'd proved her wrong by sticking around. One week, he knew
what happened in her past, and he’d be arriving very soon. His touch didn’t
hurt her either. When he reached out to touch, stroke or hold her hand, she
didn’t pull away or feel threatened by him.

The kettle clicked off as she heard the car parking on her
drive, which was empty. She didn’t drive and therefor didn’t own a car. Seconds
later he knocked on the door. She stood up and looked down at her bedtime
shorts and vest top. The shorts stopped at the knee not showing off a lot of
flesh. Her face clear of makeup while her hair fell around her shoulders in
waves.

Her heart pounded against her chest as she walked toward the
door. Ryan stood patiently waiting when she looked out of the peep hole.

Opening the door, she smiled at him. His gaze travelled up
and down her body, making her ache all over for him. Jake, for all of his help,
never left her feeling like this. Ryan made her feel like she was burning alive
for his touch.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey, baby. It was a busy night at the club.”

“Extreme is always busy on a Friday.” She knew but he asked
for her not to go to the club for some time. Jesse did as he asked.

Ryan walked in, taking the door from her grasp and closing
it behind him. Heat radiated off his body and she whimpered at the power of his
look alone. No man should hold such power from a glance.

“I’m making tea,” she said, heading toward her kitchen. With
Ryan inside her house, her space suddenly felt really small.

He followed her into the kitchen and sat in the chair she’d
been sitting in. His big
body made her feel
so small.

“I made a chocolate cake.” She pointed to where the cake
stood. “Would you like a slice?” she asked.

“I’d love a slice.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, she cut two slices, handing
him tea and cake together. She took the seat opposite him, giving him a fork to
eat the sticky cake.

“You made this?”

“Yeah.”

“Out of a packet?”

She scrunched her nose up. “Packets are not that great. No,
I made it from scratch from a recipe book I own.” Cookbooks were another of her
few simple pleasures.

“It’s delicious.”

Glowing from the compliment, she took a bite tasting the
intense chocolate flavor. She agreed with the taste. It was positively sinful.

“Jake came to see me tonight,” he said.

Jesse tensed at the mention of the other man. On Sunday he
tried to draw her into conversation about Ryan. She told him to leave it be. No
one from her family needed to know about any relationship or friendship she’d
developed with Ryan.

“He’s worried about you.”

Wiping her lips with her fingers, she looked at Ryan. His dark
brown gaze stared back at her.

“He tried to talk to me the other day. I wouldn’t tell him
anything. It’s none of his business what happens between us. Do you think I
should have told him something?” she asked, not knowing if she’d done the right
thing.

“No, I’ve told him to leave us alone. We’re not doing
anything wrong, Jesse. He’s got no right to start asking questions or to see
what’s happening.”

“I agree. It’s another reason why I don’t want to go to the
club. He’s there all the time and he’ll try to ask questions.” She took another
bite of cake. “I know he cares about me.”

“The next time he asks about you and you’re uncomfortable
just tell him to back off. It’s none of his business what we do.” He repeated
his words again.

Ryan started talking about his work and some of the
applications he’d declined for membership within his club. She listened, always
intrigued to know what went on in his life.

When they were finished, he left the room as she finished up
in the kitchen. In the window across the sink she saw her reflection. Looking
down at her shirt she saw the pebbled buds of her nipples and gasped. Her face
was flushed. Heat built between her thighs and she crossed her legs.

Stop getting turned
on. Nothing is going to happen tonight.

She couldn’t help feeling disappointed at her own thoughts.
Ryan wouldn’t take it to the next level. After only a week she should be happy
about him taking his time. So many women at work complained about how fast
their men wanted to get them in bed.

Thinking about work reminded her of the grilling Denise gave
her, asking her about Ryan. Next week she hoped he would stop by for Denise to
meet him.

David no longer bothered her, keeping his distance, which
she liked.

Heading into the sitting room she found Ryan sitting in her
chair. The arms of his shirt pulled up to his elbows revealing the array of ink
she’d spotted in the week. The top exposed a little more chest showing more of
his ink. Licking her lips, she stopped to stare at the pure masterful posture
he showed.

“Come here, Jesse,” he said.

His voice was deep not giving her room to argue with him.
Staring into his eyes, she saw the hardness reflecting back but also the care
within his depth. The combined emotion looking at her made her take the next
step, then the next.

* * * *

Seeing Jesse in the shorts and vest did nothing to stem his
arousal. Ryan had been determined to give her more time but he couldn’t wait
any longer to hear her pleasure. Unbuttoning the top of his shirt, he then
rolled up his sleeves before sitting down. He didn’t want sex tonight. Sex
would wait. Touching wasn’t off the menu and he’d been a good boy for so long.

She appeared in the doorway, looking at him. Her legs
crossed and he wondered if she was dripping wet, thinking about him claiming her
for his own.

“Come here, baby.”

She stared at him waiting to see whatever she needed to see
before walking toward him. Jesse paused in front of him, far enough for her to
escape. He stared at her stomach. The rounded curves of her hips begged him to
hold on to.

“Are you going to stay there?” he asked, making no move to
pull her closer.

Jesse would have to do all the work. He wouldn’t force her
to move closer. Everything they did together would be about Jesse showing her
trust of him. She took a deep breath before stepping closer to him.

He reached out, taking her hand in his. Watching their
fingers touch then lock together moved him deeply. Her fingers didn’t shake and
she wasn’t terrified of him. Skimming the tips of his fingers with his free
hand up her thigh, he heard her quickly indrawn breath.

Her flesh was soft to the touch. Going down, he caressed
around the back of her knee then round to go under the end of the shorts.

“Tell me to stop, Jesse,” he said, looking up into her eyes.
Her blue eyes were wide and she shook her head.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

He went under her shorts going as far as the fabric would
allow stopping before he reached her pussy.

“We’re not fucking.”

“Why not?” she asked, sounding outraged.

Chuckling, he leaned back. “We’ve got all the time in the
world. Tonight is not about fucking but about pleasure.”