Notes from the Life of a Total Genius (17 page)

April 17th

Dear RJ,

I told the gang about what Kraleigh told me yesterday, and they were so mad. It was great, because I was kind of scared by what she said, but Ben thinks that she’s bluffing. He said that she’s just trying to scare us (and it totally worked on me!) and that we should call her bluff. Millie agreed with him, and so did Latha. A few of the other Leg Breakers said that they didn’t want to do their plays anymore, so we’re down to five plays, and the three who weren’t sure are definitely going to be out now.

Ben said that we should put up our scenes right after Easter in the cafeteria at lunch. When he suggested that, we all agreed. It makes me feel queasy, though. I’m really nervous. It’s one thing to write an article about it. This will be going directly against Kraleigh’s orders. I’m hoping that maybe it’s just because I’m excited about the idea, not scared! No one else seemed scared about the idea, except the kids who dropped out. And I definitely don’t want to drop out of the group. They need me!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

By Arthur Bean

(Scene: Battlefield.
We zoom in on Macbeth and Macduff. They are fencing in an epic fight. Macbeth gets stabbed by Macduff
.)

Voiceover
: Hath this ever happened to thou?
(Zoom in on Macbeth. He nods as he is dying.)

Voiceover
: Then thou needeth a new brocade! Check out these newest fabrics, made of Kevlar, the strongest of all fabrics.

Macbeth
: I do need that! But where do I get it?

Voiceover
: Kevlar is made from the brew of three of the best witches East Calgary has ever seen.

(The commercial cuts to three witches around a cauldron. They are stirring a giant pot.)

Witch One
: Double Double … knit and purl.

Witch Two
: Made from wool of bat and tongue of dog. Very strong stuff!

Witch Three
: And designed with the latest fashion in mind!

Witch One
: Fit for a king!

Witch Two
: Or a king
murderer
!

Witch Three
: Did I mention how fashionable it is? I designed it myself. (
Other witches groan.
)

Witch One, Two and Three
(
pull the Kevlar vest out of the pot
): Abracadabra!

(
They all look at each other
.)

Witch Three
: Looks like we’re done here. (
Pause
.) When shall we three meet again?

(
The commercial cuts back to Macbeth and Macduff. Macbeth is almost dead
.)

Macbeth
: Why didn’t they give me that when I last visited them?

Voiceover
: Because thou didn’t ask for it by name.

Macbeth
: I thought I couldn’t be killed.

Macduff
: Silly Macbeth. The prophecy TOLD you I could kill you. Too bad you didn’t understand earlier and get some Kevlar.

(
Macbeth dies. Macduff turns to the camera
.)

Macduff
(
shows off the Kevlar under his coat
): Kevlar. Unlike Macbeth, it’s a name you can trust.

The End

Arthur,

Your video made me laugh out loud today. I appreciate how much work you put into your script and the filming of your commercial. It was nice to see Robbie Zack making a cameo appearance as one of the witches. He’s such a tall young man now!

Well done!

Ms Whitehead

April 24th

Dear RJ,

We did a couple of scenes from our plays today, and it was crazy! We were in the cafeteria, and it was kind of like a flash mob. First, Latha started talking really loudly, saying lines from one of the plays, then Ben joined in and stood up, and then a few more people joined, and then the rest of us joined in. We really only had time to do a couple of parts from Ben’s play, and I’m not in that one, so I was just in the group that stood behind them in solidarity. Then we all yelled, “The Leg Breakers!!” and then Ben did a little speech about coming to our rebel play festival and supporting free speech. A bunch of people clapped, and then we went back to our seats.

Ben did most of the talking, because I didn’t want to always be the one at the very front. I told him that he had the loudest voice, and he’s so tall that maybe Kraleigh would be scared of him, but actually, I just didn’t want to be the one to do it. I was worried that I would get suspended from school on the spot or something. It’s kind of like in
Macbeth
. He gets spurred on to kill the king by his wife, but then he regrets it after and has nightmares and dies. I’d rather be Lady Macbeth. (Not actually a lady, though. Come on!) She just tells him what to do, but never has to do the dirty work. I like that idea better. I don’t really want to be the face of a revolution.

The thing was, Kraleigh wasn’t there. Avril the lunch lady and Mr. Everett were the only adults there. So I don’t know if it was even worth it.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

April 25th

Dear RJ,

Well, clearly Kraleigh found out about our guerrilla theatre yesterday. She called an assembly for all the grade nines today. She said that a small group of grade nines “felt compelled to ruin the image of the school” and that she was cancelling our grad celebrations because of it. RJ, I’d never actually heard what an “uproar” sounds like, but I heard one today. Kraleigh couldn’t get control of the group again for fifteen minutes, because people were yelling, and some girls (including Kennedy) ran out of the room, crying. She said that we still had the power to turn things around, and that we should think “long and hard” about the choices that we make.

I can’t believe she actually cancelled grad! There’s still a bunch of us who were going to do our plays, but now I don’t know what’s going to happen. I kind of wish that we had never written plays to begin with.

I wonder how much Kennedy thinks this was my fault. It’s not all my fault. I hope she’s not mad at me.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 25, 17:20

I SWEAR, you are TRYING to ruin my life, Arthur Bean!!! You know, I totally get that you felt wronged and stuff, but you CANNOT go around doing whatever you want and ruining other people’s lives for your own stupid cause! You know I already have my grad dress?!?! What am I supposed to do with that?!?

You know how HARD the grad committee and I have been working!! It’s in the newspaper! I talk about it ALL THE TIME!!

I’ve been working this year on being a LEADER. Being a LEADER means CHOOSING BEST FOR THE TEAM. Maybe you should try it???

I supported you when you said that it was all about free speech, but now I think you’re just trying to show off with your dumb friends and your dumb plays! I don’t know what is going on in your head sometimes! I thought you were really smart, but it turns out, you’re MEAN and THOUGHTLESS!

Kennedy

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: April 25, 17:36

Dear Kennedy,

I’m sorry!!! It’s not about you! It’s all a misunderstanding! All we want is to do our plays. If you could see them, you would understand. Haven’t you ever been really proud of something and then had it pulled away from you and told that you shouldn’t be proud of it?

Don’t worry. I’m sure grad will happen. By Monday, Kraleigh will have calmed down, and grad will be back on. She’ll come around. She has to; we’re totally right about this whole thing. She just needs time to see it!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean