Nothing to Lose (4 page)

Everything was fine at first, but just one month into the job, her boss quit and moved to Alabama. In came Caroline Billings, a Pentagon veteran of almost thirty years. She immediately clashed with Erica. For the last several months, Caroline made Erica dread coming to a job that she used to like. If the job market hadn't been as tight as it was at the moment, she would have quit already.

It wasn't that Caroline was just a mean boss. She was way too nosy for her own good, in Erica's opinion. She wanted to know everything about Erica and how she'd gotten such a plum position in the communications department and why her stint with Jonah's office was so short.

Erica was evasive and nonresponsive in general. Caroline told her she would find out what the real deal was, whether Erica told her or not. This was a mistake. Erica wasn't sure what happened, but she imagined that Caroline's snooping reached Jonah's office and she was shut down immediately.

For someone like Caroline, who thought she was more powerful than she actually was, this was frustrating and humiliating beyond words. So while she stopped inquiring about Erica's past at the Pentagon, she decided she would get her revenge by making her miserable.

“Nice of you to join us,” Caroline said as she reached Erica's desk.

Caroline's appearance fit her personality. She looked gaunt and angry, with dark circles around her beady eyes and her salt-and-pepper hair in a severe bun. She wore clothes two sizes too big for her excessively thin frame and walked around with a constant frown on her face.

Erica sat down and placed her purse in the drawer. “I'm ten minutes late, Caroline. I couldn't get in. There was some tour group or something blocking the entrance and—”

“Excuses, excuses,” Caroline said. “You're going to have to stay fifteen minutes late to make it up.”

“I know” was all Erica said.

Caroline eyed her for a second as if she was begging for Erica to offer some sort of protest so she could exert her authority and just be an overall bitch. She seemed very disappointed when it was clear that Erica wasn't going to play into it.

It wasn't that she wasn't tempted. Erica thought of saying something sarcastic, because she knew Caroline couldn't do anything about it. So many times she'd wished that she could tell her who she was and who her father was and put her in her place. She wanted Caroline to try and fire her and see what happened when she couldn't. She sensed that Caroline knew that she could only push her so far, but she sure made a practice of doing just that: pushing Erica as far as she could every day.

Erica wasn't proud of this little fantasy she had, even though the woman clearly deserved it. She had promised herself that she would never take advantage of Jonah's status as her father. There was just something about this woman that annoyed her so much that she was tempted to go back on that promise.

But wouldn't that make her just like Jonah? He used his power to hurt others who crossed him and manipulate their lives to his pleasure. Was this who she would turn into if she let him be a part of her life?

 

Billie and Erica both thanked the waiter after he brought them their drinks. They had gotten a prime table in the bar area, just at the window, so they could watch the Capitol Hill crowd that gathered at the many restaurants in the area after work.

This area was the part of Southeast
D.C.
that people loved. It was just off the Eastern Market Metro stop, blocks from the Capitol, and was vibrant. The neighborhoods were nicer here, unlike only a few blocks away in Southeast, which no one liked to talk about. That was the part that Billie, Erica, and Sherise had come from.

Their neighborhood had been rough and full of blight. Nothing good was supposed to come from where they grew up, all three girls living on the same street. Despite the slight differences in their ages, they all made quick friends and formed a bond based on their mutual desire to be better than everyone expected them to be. Despite the challenges they faced—and there were many—they relied on each other to stay strong, stay focused, and make it in life. They had formed a bond stronger than sisters; and although they clashed often, some of them more than others, their love was unbreakable and always reliable.

“Where is this bitch at?” Erica leaned against the window, trying to look as far down the street as she could.

“Sherise is always late, lately.” Billie took a sip of her cherry martini. “I'm just glad it's someone other than me. I used to always be the late one.”

“I'm the one that came from Virginia,” Erica said. “If I can make it on time, so can she.”

“She's been all over the place lately,” Billie said. “Her world is crazy right now. Besides, you know she's trying to focus more on Justin.”

Erica nodded. “I guess that's ‘better late than never.' ”

Billie looked at her sternly. “You need to check your attitude.”

“I'm happy for her,” Erica asserted.

It was true that she and Sherise had been at odds more than usual in the past year and a half. They were both opposites in a lot of ways—Sherise was always reaching for high-society status, while Erica tried to keep it as real as possible. Sherise's disdain for Terrell, whom she'd always referred to as a “hood,” didn't help either.

“Despite everything,” Erica continued, “you know I want her to keep her family together. Cady deserves to have her daddy around. Every little girl does.”

“It may not be a perfect situation,” Billie said, “but at least she is getting her shit together.”

“Do you remember six months ago, we were at this very place, having drinks, and we agreed that our lives were a mess?” Erica asked. “We gave ourselves six months, Billie. We said we would all get our shit together in six months.”

Billie started counting with her fingers, doubting that Erica had it right. “Has it really been six months?”

Erica nodded. “It looks like Sherise is the only one who has even come close. She's got a great job offer and her husband is back home.”

“I doubt she'd say she's securely back on track,” Billie argued. “But she sure as hell is ahead of me. At least personally.”

“You and me both,” Erica added. “Being single sucks ass.”

The girls clinked their glasses in agreement just as Sherise showed up at the table.

“I'm sorry,” she said, exasperated, as she took a seat between the girls. “I swear I got here as soon as I could.”

“What's going on?” Billie asked, noticing how frazzled the usually perfect-looking Sherise was.

“Things are crazy!”
Sherise emphasized her words with her expression of exhaustion. “I need a drink, now!”

“Finish this.” Billie shoved her martini at her. “I'll get a waiter.”

Sherise took a sip and felt herself start to calm down. “You guys don't even know what's going on.”

“Well, we kind of know,” Erica said.

She pointed to one of three big-screen televisions behind the bar. The reporter was discussing the death of the vice president. It was all anyone, everywhere, ever talked about now. It was shocking and scary. The nation was officially in mourning and funeral plans were in full swing with leaders from all over the world coming to
D.C.

“I'd put together a pretty detailed press campaign against Shaplin,” Sherise said. “He was honestly more popular than the president. Now that he's going to get replaced, I have to start over again.”

“That's horrible,” Erica said sarcastically. “Why did he have to go and die and cause you more paperwork? How rude of him.”

“Shut up.” Sherise shot her a warning glance. “I don't need any of your shit tonight. I know this is about more than me. I'm just dealing with what I can.”

“Well, you're at an advantage, aren't you?” Billie asked.

“How is starting from scratch an advantage?” Sherise finished what little was left of Billie's drink.

“President Matthews's biggest weakness is defense and foreign relations,” Erica said. “Shaplin was the guy who made up for all of that. Matthews looks much weaker without him.”

Sherise's eyes widened as she looked at her, not sure of how to respond.

Erica was offended. “Yes, I do know about politics. I pay attention. Don't be so surprised.”

Billie laughed. “I have to say, I'm honestly surprised too. You never show an interest in politics.”

“I can't help it now, can I?” Erica asked. “Our vice president is dead. I mean, I know he wasn't killed or anything, but he's dead and it's pretty shocking. I've been paying attention to the news a lot lately, trying to find out what it means for our country.”

“Is that your precious daddy rubbing off on you?” Sherise asked, with a look of disgust on her face.

“Speaking of Jonah rubbing someone,” Erica started, knowing it would piss off Sherise.

“I will cut you right now,” Sherise said, only half kidding. Any reminder of her affair with Jonah made her sick to her stomach. In fact, she was suddenly not feeling too good.

“Girls,” Billie, always the mediator, stepped in. “We didn't come here to fight. We came to catch up.”

“On what?” Erica asked. “My love life sucks. My job sucks. My life sucks. I just came here to drink and feel sorry for myself.”

“Well, I actually have some good news,” Billie offered. “I've got a job.”

“Where?” Sherise asked, half paying attention to her and half watching the television screen.

“At Agencis.” Billie placed her phone, which had the company's website showing on it, in the middle of the table. “I told you about them. Lane works there. They really liked the work I did for them and they wanted me to join as an associate general counsel.”

“Congrats,” Sherise said. “Now you can leave all those scrubs and degenerates to lawyers who need the money.”

Billie rolled her eyes at Sherise being Sherise. “I'm never going to stop helping people who can't afford me. There's no point in being a lawyer otherwise, in my opinion.”

“I admire that,” Erica said. “I assume you're getting paid. I know those bills were piling up.”

Billie nodded. “Honestly, it was getting rough. I can't believe I let things get as bad as I did.”

“You're lucky,” Erica said. “Your career is about to kick back into gear. Wish I could say the same. I hate my job so much.”

“Why don't you quit?” Billie asked. “If you asked Jonah, he could get you a job in any department at the Pentagon. He's running that place. Honestly, Erica, you could probably get a much higher-paying job, even outside of the Pentagon.”

“By using my connection to him?” Erica asked. “I thought you both hated him.”

“Doesn't matter,” Billie said. “You can't let your relationship with him depend on us. He could open up a lot of doors for you.”

“With how many strings attached to each one of them?” Erica asked. “Besides, I'm afraid the closer I get to him, the more I'll become like him. Doesn't that seem likely? What do you guys think?”

“We'd never let that happen,” Billie said. “Would we, Sherise?”

They both turned to Sherise, who wasn't paying either of them any attention. She was looking at the television screen, which was showing the U.S. Senate voting on President Matthews's nomination to replace the vice president. It was House Majority Leader Leonard McGarry. The House had already voted, by majority, to elect him vice president. With this vote in the Senate, it would be a done deal. The country would have a new vice president.

“Sherise!” Billie yelled at her.

She swung around. “What? What did I miss?”

“Erica needs our advice,” she urged.

“Never mind,” Erica said. “She hates Jonah more than anyone. She can't be objective.”

Sherise's expression went grim. “Fuck Jonah Nolan. Fuck everything about him.”

She saw Erica's mouth open and pointed directly at her. “Say one word!”

Erica quickly shut her mouth, but she let a smile escape as she looked at Billie, who just shook her head.

“You're both ridiculous,” Billie said.

“I don't like this choice,” Sherise said. “McGarry.”

“He's harmless,” Billie said.

“He has no interest in national politics,” Sherise indicated. “He's only serving for the rest of this term. He's not going to be on the ticket for the second term and it's an election year. We need to know who we're fighting.”

“You're not fighting anyone right now,” Billie said. “We're united under our president right now.”

“Yes, but it's all a waiting game.” Sherise's tone expressed extreme agitation as she glanced down at the phone in her hand. “I hate waiting. It's a position lacking power.”

It was someone else's job to find out who the most likely candidates would be, people with stronger connections than her own. She scrolled her e-mails and saw no new updates. She needed to call and check in.

“I have to make a call,” Sherise said as she slid back her chair. “It's too noisy in here.”

As she stood up, Sherise felt a sudden rush to her head and the room started to spin. She grabbed the edge of the table as she felt the phone drop out of her hand. She heard one of the girls—she couldn't tell which—say her name before everything went black.

“J
ustin!” Billie yelled his name the second she saw him enter the hallway at George Washington University Hospital. When she got his attention, she waved him over.

Justin rushed over to her like lightning. She could see the look of pure anguish on his face as he reached her.

“Where is she?” he demanded. “Where is she?”

“Calm down.” Billie placed her hand on his arm to try and calm him, but he jerked away.

Things were weird concerning Justin and the girls. From his end, he knew they learned about Sherise's affair with Ryan and the possibility that Cady might not be his daughter before he did. He knew that they would have never told him, as long as Sherise asked them not to.

From their end, both girls still knew about Sherise's affair with Jonah. They knew they could never tell Justin, although there was a part of them that believed he deserved to know. It all made for awkward interactions; but right now, all anyone was thinking about was Sherise.

“Where is she?” he repeated.

Billie pointed to the room just a few feet away, where Erica was standing, trying to see through the small window in the door.

Erica jumped aside just in time as he reached the door and swung it open. She snuck a quick peek and noticed Sherise was awake and sitting up in the hospital bed with the doctor standing beside her. That was a good sign, wasn't it? When the door closed, Erica turned to Billie and gave her a thumbs-up sign.

At the bar, it was Billie who first noticed something was wrong as soon as Sherise stood up. She stumbled back quickly and the phone fell out of her hand. Billie looked at her and noticed she looked confused. Billie called her name and reached out to her just as Sherise began to fall.

Erica screamed and jumped to catch her, getting her just before her head hit the floor. Erica fell flat on her butt, with Sherise in her arms. Everyone around them became alarmed. Billie screamed for someone to call 911 as she got on her knees and tried to wake Sherise up. She was out like a light; Erica started to panic.

“Someone help!” Erica called out. “Is anyone a doctor?”

The ambulance was there in less than ten minutes. Neither Erica nor Billie was allowed to ride with her. They were angry, but relieved that it seemed as if Sherise was moving her head as the doors to the ambulance closed.

It wasn't until then, when a waitress ran up to Billie to hand her Sherise's phone, which had been left behind, that Billie thought of Justin. She called him right away. By the time she got off the phone, Erica had hailed a cab and they were on their way.

Once at the hospital, they were not allowed to see Sherise at all. They were only told to get family there. Justin arrived a few minutes after they had.

A very tense Sherise calmed immediately the second she saw Justin rushing toward her. He reached down and hugged her tightly, kissing her on the lips.

“I'm fine, baby,” she reassured him.

She could see the love in his eyes and it warmed her heart. He and Cady were all she could think about since coming to in the ambulance.

“What's wrong?” he asked as she rubbed his cheek to comfort him.

“I'm sure it's just exhaustion,” she answered, turning to the doctor.

Dr. Deepa Gupta was standing by the bed. She was a young doctor, with a very smart, serious look on her face.

“Everything seems fine,” she said slowly as she read over the paper in front of her. “We'll have to wait for the blood tests to come back.”

“Did you not eat or something?” Justin asked.

She shook her head. “I had a sandwich for lunch. I had less than half of one drink at the bar, but that's it.”

“Wait a second.” Dr. Gupta looked at Sherise. “You told the nurse your last period was the middle of last month.”

Sherise nodded. “Yes, I think it was . . . I think maybe the fifteenth.”

“Well,” Dr. Gupta said, smiling, “it's the twenty-ninth.”

“What does that . . .” Justin stopped midsentence as he seemed to grasp what the doctor was suggesting.

Sherise's stomach clenched and she gasped. She looked at Justin, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He started shaking his head as if not believing, and she did the same, turning back to the doctor.

“That's not possible,” she said. “I'm on the Pill, every morning at eight.”

“You mentioned that you've been under a lot of stress,” Dr. Gupta said. “You've been running all over the place. Trust me, busy schedules are the leading cause of pregnancies among working mothers. You don't think you forgot, but you probably have.”

The doctor laughed, but she stopped as soon as she realized that neither Sherise nor Justin joined her.

“Well,” she offered, her voice returning to a more professional tone, “we don't know anything yet. The blood test will be checking for pregnancy and I'll have a nurse bring an at-home test down so you can do some preliminary testing of your own.”

She waited a moment, but after not getting a response from the dumbfounded couple, she continued. “I'll just leave you both alone for a little while.”

After the doctor left, Sherise and Justin just looked at other.

“Do you really think?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I'm sure it's not, though.”

“But . . . what if it is?” she asked.

Justin leaned up from the bed and looked straight ahead.

Sherise watched his reaction and wondered what was going on in that mind of his. Over a year ago, they had been trying so hard to have a second child, but it wasn't working. While Sherise wanted to spend a couple more years focusing on her career, Justin seemed adamant that they continue growing their young family.

After the disaster with Jonah Nolan, Sherise refocused herself on her family and did everything she could to get pregnant. It just wasn't happening. It scared Sherise to death because it fed into her worst fear: Cady, who had been conceived around the same time she'd had a one-night stand with Ryan Hodgkins, might not be Justin's. She was afraid they would find out that Justin was shooting blanks and then everything would fall apart. Finding out Cady was, in fact, his solved so many problems.

But there were a million problems left; and while they worked on their marital issues, they agreed to put having another baby on hold. Well, actually Justin suggested putting the baby making on hold. Sherise had thought it would be a great way to regain the closeness they once had, but Justin wanted to focus on other things. So she went back on the Pill.

“Justin?” Sherise reached out and placed her hand on his chest, looking up at him.

He looked down at her and sighed heavily. “It's . . . It's probably not that.”

He didn't answer her question, and that was a problem. The man who had been hell-bent on having another baby with her looked scared to death of that prospect now. What did that mean about how he felt about her, about their marriage? Were things worse than she'd thought?

 

Lane Redmond arrived in the lobby of Agencis with an excited look on his face. He retrieved Billie from an attentive receptionist and led her to the elevators.

Once inside, he said, “I'm excited that you're here. We really need the help.”

She laughed. “You sound like I'm starting today. I'm just here to sign my employment papers. I won't be starting for another week.”

“I know,” he assented. “It just feels official, now that you're here. The workload has been brutal. I feel like I'm a big law associate logging all these hours.”

“Well, hold on for another week,” she said. “I'll come and save the day then.”

“This will be quick.” Lane stepped out of the elevator on their floor. “It'll take less than twenty minutes to go through all this stuff.”

Billie followed him down the hallway. “I've brought copies of my passport and everything else you wanted. Do I need to talk to anyone?”

Lane looked at her for a moment and cleared his throat. “Okay, this is the thing.”

“Oh no.” Billie didn't like the sound of that.

“You don't have to interview with anyone,” he said. “Everyone down here is in human resources and they know you've already been working for us because they process your consulting fees.”

“But—”

“Michael Johnson,” Lane said. “He's not employed here. He works for himself. He's our headhunter on retainer. He usually finds all our people and he's very close to the CEO. He's been working for us since we formed almost ten years ago.”

“Let me guess,” Billie said, pulling from her experience working with headhunters in the past. “He doesn't like that you went around him to hire me.”

“Not at all.” Lane laughed sarcastically. “He was pretty pissed, actually. In addition to the retainer, he gets a nice fee for every hire we make that he sends our way.”

“You have to keep these guys under control,” Billie suggested. “They'll start thinking they're running the show. You're the client. They don't get to throw a hissy fit because you found someone good.”

“Easier said than done,” Lane muttered quietly. “Michael is buddies with the most powerful people in this company. He gets his way.”

“Why are you telling me about him?” Billie asked.

Lane stopped just as they reached a conference room door. “Well, he wanted to meet you. I think he'd like to believe you're subpar, because he thinks if you were any good, he would have found you. Just say hello. You don't have to answer any questions. Just don't be intimidated.”

“I won't be.” Billie was determined to give this Michael Johnson a fit if she could. “I can handle headhunters. Let's go.”

When Lane opened the door to the conference room, the first thing Billie saw was a woman sitting at the large table in the middle, with several sheets of paper laid out in short stacks. The woman was on the phone. It wasn't until she turned her attention to the left, where there was a man standing at the floor-to-ceiling windows, did she have to catch her breath.

It couldn't be.

She blinked, wondering if she was seeing things. She had actually thought about the man she'd encountered on the train last week a few times since then. But this wasn't her imagination. This was real life and he was standing at the window, looking at her with just as much surprise as she was.

“Billie Carter,” Lane said, walking over to Michael, “this is Michael Johnson, our headhunter. He was eager to meet you.”

Lane stopped midway as he realized that Billie hadn't moved from where she was standing. She forced herself to recover from her shock and pull herself together. She took a deep breath and headed over toward him.

Michael took a few steps to meet her halfway. By this time, the look on his face, clearly caught off guard, was composed and unreadable. He held his hand out to her.

“So you're Billie Carter,” he said, no hint of that Southern twang from before.

“And you're Michael Johnson.” She took his hand and gripped it as firmly as she could.

His hands were warm and strong. Fortunately for her, the shake was quick and done in a second.

“Um . . .” Lane looked from one to the other. “Am I missing something here?”

“Mr. Johnson and I ran into each other on the Metro a while ago,” Billie informed him.

“So you remember that?” Michael asked. “It was a very brief moment you seemed eager to get away from.”

Billie found that to be an unexpected reaction. Was that how it seemed?

“Well, it was my stop,” she said.

He nodded. “Of course.”

“I hear you wanted to meet me to prove to the company how much of a mistake they made in hiring me.”

“Well . . .” Lane wasn't sure how to recover from that. “I wouldn't say that. . . .”

Michael smiled wryly. “I wouldn't say that is exactly what Lane is trying to say.”

“Wouldn't you?” she asked.

Michael lifted his head just enough to seem haughty as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, I'm sure you're a good lawyer, but I know for a fact that I had several excellent candidates for this position—the tops in their field.”

“But I'm here and they're not.” She smiled, making sure her tone was playful so as not to seem too bitchy.

“I guess the best person isn't always the right person,” he said as his dark eyes bore into hers.

“Or,” Billie offered, “maybe the best person doesn't need help from a recruiter to get the right job.”

She knew she'd hit a nerve. That confident smile flattened a bit, just a bit.

“I don't think anyone here would question the process I have,” he said. “You'll see that the turnover at this company, at most of the companies that I work with, is directly related to people
not
hired through me.”

“So you're already predicting a quick end to my tenure here?” Billie's tone couldn't hide that this offended her.

His left hand went to his hip as stared at her intently. “I'm just saying that my candidates at this company have always been the most successful long-term and others haven't.”

“Well, I'll just have to prove you wrong, Mr. Johnson.” Billie smiled just sweetly enough to make it seem fake. “It's been so nice to meet you.”

“Same here,” he offered flatly before turning and walking away.

Billie watched as he walked out of the conference room, not bothering to look back. She felt herself breathe a little now that he was gone.