Nova (30 page)

Over the next month my anxiety
gradually
dwindled away. I guess time really did kind of settle my nerves, and I was content with following the advice to just be patient. I knew that I loved Austin, and for now that was what he needed. I chose to focus on school, reminding myself that I had until spring to make a decision about the future of my education.

In October I went to Austin’s race up in Roseville, and because all of his family was there, including the other employees of Harmony Acres, it was actually a pretty enjoyable day. It was sunny and in the mid-seventies, and even though Austin was just getting over
a cold and
flu, he was in pretty good spirits. I think
under normal circumstances
a person would have been sick for a few days,
like I had been,
but racing was like an instant cure for
him
, and
he
was
all smiles
before he got in
to
his car.

Around the
9
4
th
lap
I was listening to
Marlo
and Clara joke about Austin and th
e pet goat he had when he was little
.
Marlo
was saying how she missed those days of having little
children
around the ranch, and I couldn’t help but feel like she was hinting around about having grandkids someday. I wasn’t sure what Austin’s parents knew about our relationship, particularly
our
marriage t
alk (or the no
-marriage talk, rather
)
,
but I didn’t feel comfortable getting into it at that moment.
But it wasn’t necessary anyways
because as I was watching the race carry on in front of us,
I held my breath as
the No. 49
car got way too clos
e to Austin’s rear
end
again
.
Austin was currently in first place with two cars trying to pass him, and the
n the
No. 49
car
bumped
Austin’s tail
just before the corner
.

“What the—
?
” I gasped. I think my heart dropped into my stomach.

“Damn it,” Dave growled, as Austin’s car got spun around.

Damn it? That’s all he could say
?!
His car was
spinning
!

“It’s okay, sweetie,”
Marlo
said, taking my hand in hers. “He spun into the grass, see?”

I did see, but it didn’t make it any better. The No. 44 car got out of it scot-free, and he was now in first place.

“Is that even legal?” I asked angrily.

“Yeah, but only a certain type of moron would even attempt to do that right there,” Dave replied.

“That guy was riding his tail the entire time,” I said.

“That’s called drafting. It’s not always a bad play when it’s done right, but it’s dangerous. I can’t believe
Marshall
pulled off a bump-and-run, though,” he added, almost to himself.

Well you can only imagine how
I
was feeling at that moment. Watching Austin’s races were hard enough, but I’d never seen him get hit by another car. I’d heard that he had, but not at a race that
I
was watching.

Austin’s car ended up back on the track
right away
. I was actually
upset
about that
and I wondered why he cou
ldn’t just be done for the day, but
he was right back in the middle of the pack after a
dozen
laps.

By the end of the day, after barely making myself finish watching the race, I wandered down to the track with the family while everyone congratulated Austin’s
eighth
place finish. I’ll admit that I probably wasn’t as enthusiastic about it as everyone else was, but I did give him a hug and a kiss, telling him I was glad he was still in one piece.

He smiled and said, “Of course I am. It was just a spinout.”

“Just a—”

I chose to hold my tongue
and
didn’t say anything further. He could tell I was upset though, and when the rest
of our gathering left for the parking lot
, it was just the two of us.

“I’m sorry that made you worry,” he said.

“Then you’ll be perfectly fine with me skipping the next race, right?”

He seemed surprised, maybe disappointed, but eventually shrugged his shoulder
s. “I guess if that’s what you decide
. It’s
in Phoenix, though. I mean Phoenix International Raceway is…” He
sighed. “It’s my last race, Nov
. I need you there.”

“Why do you need me there?” I shrugged. “I mean you’re so focused on your races,
you
are all you need.”

“That’s not the point.
I thought we were going to have a vacation together. Just the two of us.”

“A vacation? So when should I have the heart at
tack? On the way there, or during
your race?”

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re not going to
worry about anything.”

“Right.”

“But if it’s really gonna be that tough for you…don’t go.”

I studied him for a few seconds, giving myself a chance to read him. He seemed pretty indifferent about it
, like he wasn’t so adamant about me being there anymore if I really didn’t want to be.

“Is that what you want?” I asked.

“No,” he chuckled. “Nova, yo
u don’t want to go to my race so w
hy would I want to make you? Yeah I’m disappointed, but I don’t want you to be upset over it. It’s not a big deal. I’m sorry I’ve made you go to as many as you have.”

“You didn’t ‘make’ me go, Austin,” I smiled. “Let’s just… Let’s not talk about this right now, okay?” I finally said. I didn’t like how there were eyes watching us, especially a girl that seemed to be eyeing my boyfriend for some reason. She had
bleach-
blonde hair and stabbing blues eyes. I mean I literally felt like they were intending to kill me.

“Sure,” Austin replied. “You’re goi
ng to ride home with me, right? …Nova?”

I brought my attention back to him and said, “Yes. Yes I’m riding with you. I’ll wait for you?”

He eyed me curiously and glanced the direction I had been looking. The blonde was still staring at us.

With a tiny smile he said, “Don’t mind her. She’s Grant’s daughter. And like Grant, she has no respect for people’s privacy.”

I glanced at her one more time and then slightly moved myself so Austin’s back was to her and she couldn’t see me. Being that she was Grant’s daughter (Grant being the owner of the
car that Austin drove), I had even more unsettling
feeling
s
about her. But Austin gave me a kiss and I temporarily put aside my
worries
. I was even more distracted when Austin wa
s heading to meet with his team
and Jeremy
Marshall
slowed him down with some sort of comment. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Austin barely gave him a response and left him standing there. I didn’t like the smug smile on Jeremy’s face, and I could tell he’d probably said something to Austin about beating him that day in the race.

He came my way after that. I was pretty sure he would have been intercepted had Austin still been around, but Jeremy decided to take advantage of the fact that I was alone. Ever since the first time I met him, when he’d very subtly made a comment about my name and that he’d like to take me for a test drive sometime, I tried to steer clear of him. He used to be Austin’s teammate, but Jeremy started driving for another team two months prior.
Austin was pleased about that because he didn’t like the guy.

“Hey,”
Jeremy smiled as he approached. “You’ve become a regular at these things I see.”

I didn’t reply and it only made him smile again.

“Well anyhow, it’s nice to see loyal fans attend—even if it is for another driver. But if you decide that your allegiance might change…”

That made
me
smile
and I almost laughed. “No thanks,” I said, walking away.

“Hey, wait a minute,” he chuckled, catching up with me. “What’s the rush? I thought we could chat a little while you wait for your boyfriend.”

“No thanks, I have a phone call I need to make.” And with that I left, headed for the parking lot. There was no way I wanted to spend my time talking to Jeremy
Marshall
.

I did make a phone call on my way, letting Austin know I was going to wait in his car. I was thankful to have a set of keys to his Camaro, so I let myself inside and locked the door—just in case there were
other
Jeremys
lurking about.

I always kept a book in my purse wherever I went, so I’d probably been reading for about a half an hour by the time Austin sat down behind the wheel. I was a little concerned when he loo
ked upset about something, but
I waited a few seconds for him to bring it up first.

“
Marshall
slither his way into a conversation with you?” he asked.

I looked him over as he started the ignition. “Austin, don’t let him get to you
. He tried to talk to me for, like, ten seconds and I blew him off. That’s why I came to the car.”

He slighted nodded and pulled out of the parking space. “I figured as much, which is why I didn’t respond.”

“What did he say?”

“Oh, just that you and him had a nice time together, chatting up a storm, or something gay like that.”

I smiled and reached over to take his hand. He returned the smile and kissed my hand, but I could read Austin pretty well at that moment, and I knew that Jeremy’s first place finish is probably what was bothering him the most. Finally he did say, “I can’t believe that prick beat me today.”

I never knew what to say when it came to his races. I usually said positive things in general, but I really felt pretty dumb when it came to the sport.

“So what’s the next race with him going to be like?” I asked.

He glanced at me as we pulled onto Washington Boulevard. “What do you mean?”

“Is he going to pull that crap at the next race? How is purposely hitting another car in a race
legal
? Is he going to do it again? What if something worse happens? What if you don’t just spin out into the grass next time?”

“Well I wouldn’t be lucky enough to hit grass in Phoenix
.
With the way it’s set up, there isn’t a big grassy area to safely
…
”

He stopped when I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Nova—
”

“Never mind, I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.

We were both quiet as we left Roseville. Normally Austin would keep trying to reassure me, but that time he just let it go. I could tell that he was probably sick of the same conversations we always had about racing, and I did feel bad about that. But I loved him, and I was worried about him. Didn’t I have a right to voice my concerns? I guess I did to an extent, but how many times was I going to discuss something with him that was never going to
get me
anywhere?

I was sure that he wished I would just fake my smiles and enthusiasm about his races until I actually learned to enjoy them. I wondered if that was actually his plan. Did he intend on inviting me to the races, hoping I would eventually grow to love it?

I almost got that impression, especially when he would occasionally say
things like
, “My mom used to throw fits about racing, but now she’s okay with it…” Maybe he was hinting that I would learn to be okay with it, too.
I didn’t find that likely, but I did understand who Austin was as a person, and I knew racing came with the package.

I had a choice to either let that drive a wedge between us, or just love him entirely for who he was. It really did come down to a decision, and I wanted Austin in my life more than anything. Would I prefer racing to be out of the equation? The immediate answer would be yes. But…if Austin didn’t race cars, would he really be the same Austin? I didn’t feel equipped to make that call, but I think I knew the answer…

Chapter Sixteen

“Wow, that is beautiful,
Marlo
,” I said, running
a hand
over the quilt that was
draped
over the family room couch. “I might have to learn how to sew fabric instead of flesh.”