Nurse in Love (8 page)

“I hadn’t seen and talked to Steven again then.”

She waited for him to expand his meaning, but as he did not she went on: “Well, obviously they had to meet. And one really can’t go on being responsible for their affairs.”

As the room began to fill up, Steven, as host, had to leave Kathryn in order to see that the newcomers had something to drink, someone to talk to. But as a good many of the guests were hospital personnel, she knew most people there, and she was never alone for long.

She was amused most, however, by the dry comments upon cocktail parties made to her by a tall, grey
-
haired man whose name she had not caught.

“A most curious social custom,” he said, sipping his sherry and looking about him. “We may have been upon our feet all day, but we come to stand for another hour or two without complaint; we drink, we exchange snippets of conversation with people we don’t know”—(Kathryn felt guilty at that!)—“or with people we see and even work with every day of our lives. If we’re lucky, we get a word or two with our hosts, but if we don’t, we don’t consider it very odd.” He fixed Kathryn through his monocle. “You young people certainly seem content with it, but I can’t for my life imagine what you get out of it.”

Kathryn laughed, seeing his point, but wanting to
d
efend her own generation. The difficulty was that she agreed with him too much—her earlier elation had evaporated when she had seen how long Thelma and Adam had lingered in intimate talk and when she realised that her own chance of meeting him in these crowds was remote. But before she could frame a reply Steven was again at her side and her elderly companion had moved away.

“And what do you think of our ‘lion’?” asked Steven, watching him go.

Kathryn’s brow puckered. “I’m afraid I didn’t catch his name. Ought I to have known him?”

“Sir Paul Denver, surgeon to royalty,” prompted Steven. “He was a friend of my father’s, and Thelma insisted on asking him. But I can’t imagine why he came, when he can’t have any interest in me. He probably took the measure of my ability long ago, when he transferred any patronage or influence he had to Brand, who worked under him at Dursington.”

Steven’s tone was so bitter that Kathryn glanced at him quickly. But her loyalty to Adam sprang at once to his defence. She said hotly: “You haven’t any right to suggest that Dr
.
Brand achieved anything except
through his own hard work and skill
—
”

Steven looked surprised. “I didn’t mean that,” he protested. “Only that it couldn’t have taken Sir Paul Denver long to realise that if there were any help or build-up he could give a younger man, it was Adam who merited it, not me.”

To gain time Kathryn laid a hand solicitously upon his arm. This was the first direct hint he had given of the “despairs” of which Adam had spoken.

Steven looked down at her hand and said urgently: “Let’s get away for a few minutes. I can’t stand this
racket much longer. Come with me
—
”

The big room was L-shaped, and he led her to the far end of the longer arm of it, where behind a drawn curtain a couple of card-tables stood in the window embrasure.

“We though
t
somebody might like to play bridge,” explained Steven. “But apparently not. We’ll be alone here. Sit down, Kathryn—please.”

They sat—awkwardly—on two chairs that he turned outward from one of the tables. He leaned across, and before she could resist, had taken both her hands in his, imprisoning her while the urgent words humbled from his lips.

“You’ve got to listen to me, Kathryn! You are the only person I can talk to. Thelma is impatient of me, and Brand I’ve hardly seen for years. But you—well, you didn’t understand how much I needed you before, and I’ve never blamed you for that. But now you must know how much you still mean to me. Now I’ve got to convince you that without you; without your
love, I’m a complete and abject failur
e—
”

His head went down upon their linked hands and Kathryn, shocked and pitying thought she had never seen bowed shoulders express so much despair.

Gently she withdrew one of her hands, laid it lightly
upon his hair. “Poor Steven ” She checked at once
upon a sound behind her—the swishing aside of the embrasure curtain as Adam Brand stood there, looking down at them.

Steven did not look up, and no doubt Adam, given one second more in which to realise the extent of his intrusion, would have left them. But at the sight of him Kathryn knew a sudden choking panic.
He must not
think that she—that she and Steven
!
And utterly
without regard for Steven or for what either man would think of her, she wrenched free of Steven’s hold, murmuring urgently: “Don’t follow me, please. I’m
leaving, anyway. I’ll see Thelma ” She stumbled
blindly past Adam, and was gone.

Steven strode forward, only to meet Adam’s left arm across his chest, the hand gripping his shoulder.

Adam said grimly: “You heard what she said.”

“Yes, but she can’t mean it. She
—
” He stopped
and turned upon Adam, his eyes blazing. “What are you doing here, anyway? Spying?”

Adam took out his cigarette-case. “A bridge four was suggested, and I’m the vanguard,” he said evenly. “The others are following.”

“Then I’m going
—
”

“You needn’t hurry. They had just got fresh drinks and will be some time. Besides, I want to talk to you. Sit down.”

Steven sat down.

CHAPTER FIVE

Thelma
was full of concern when Kathryn went to take leave of her. “Going already?” she queried. “That’s not very kind to Steven. He was so looking forward to your being here.”

“I’ve just left him,” Kathryn told her. “Now he’s with Dr
.
Brand in your bridge room.”

Thelma frowned. “Oh dear, I hope they’re not going to play, instead of mixing with people. Steven has his duties as host, and I’ve got dozens of people wanting to meet Adam. Can’t you really stay a little longer? If you will, I’ll tell Steven you’re staying, and if anything is likely to lure him from the bridge table, that is!”

As she spoke, one of her more brilliant smiles had taken the place of her earlier frown. To Kathryn’s surprise, she seemed genuinely anxious that she should stay for Steven’s sake. Yet Kathryn had supposed that she had been asked to the party only on Steven’s insistence, and certainly, before Steven went abroad, Thelma had been at considerable pains to keep them apart.

But Kathryn felt that nothing would induce her to see Steven again just then. She murmured: “I’m sorry, but I must go.” She held out her hand, which, however, Thelma did not take, subjecting her instead to a long, thoughtful glance.

She said silkily: “You know, I really envy you
—
you’re able to be
s
o sure of Steven, aren’t you? He’s come back fully as devoted to you as he was before, and after all, any girl might have caught him on the
rebound. Men aren’t usually as faithful as that
—
”

“It’s the last thing I wanted to happen,” returned Kathryn. “We parted good friends, and we could be the same on his return, I hoped.”

“But you’re not going to turn him down a second time, surely? After all he’s been through! Why, he
depends
on you! I’m afraid that even I didn’t realise how much, but he does. If he hasn’t told you so already, I know he will. And this time, Kathryn, you
must
listen
!”

Kathryn shook her head. “I can’t do more for him than any other friend could.” She raised unflinching eyes to Thelma’s. “Before he went abroad you didn’t want me to do even that.”

If Thelma was dismayed by the direct attack she made no sign. “Well, I was wrong,” she said. “I suppose I thought Steven was infatuated with you, instead of being really in love. And you know how close he a
n
d I have always been to each other—perhaps, even, I was a little jealous of you. But I’ve had time to think since, and I’ve outgrown all that. Now I want for Steven what he wants for himself. And he wants your love.”

“But I don’t love him
!”

Thelma's eyes narrowed. “But there’s no need to tell him so, is there—at least, until he’s recovered more of his self-confidence? You could be kind—you could see him when he asks you. Is that too much to expect when you claim to be his friend?”

“It wouldn’t be fair to him,” protested Kathryn.

“Couldn’t you allow him to be the best judge of that? If you’re as heartwhole as you claim, it wouldn't hurt you to be a little kind to Steven. But you are so reluctant to do what you could for him that I really wonder whether you haven’t begun to cherish hopes elsewhere? If so, I’m sorry I said anything. Because it
wouldn’t do, would it, to have Steven getting in the way?”

Adam offered cigarettes, and Steven took one, drawing upon it feverishly. “I don’t know what you think you you’re doing,” he said.

“I’m interfering. Let’s face it, I’m meddling in your affairs. Unforgivably, perhaps, but as you’ve allowed me to do from time to time since we left school. The difference is that on those occasions you invited my advice. Now I’m thrusting it on you—and more than advice, if I’ve the power to put it across. For pity’s sake, Steven, don’t be so abject as to allow that girl
to make a fool of you all over again!”

“I’ll dare you to repeat that! And what do you know about it?” demanded Steven.

“All that Thelma told me. All that I’ve read for myself as to why you’re still wallowing in
self-pity. I thought you’d pulled out long ago. I told Thelma so. I’m afraid that I couldn’t credit that, in returning to the Wardrop, you were willing to suffer all over again the same humiliation that Kathryn Clare put you to before.”

There was a pause. Then Steven repeated slowly: “All that Thelma told you? What did she tell you? That she did everything she could to discourage me from asking Kathryn to marry me?”

It was Adam’s turn to look surprised. “No not that. I don’t know that she indicated her own feelings, except the repulsion she felt for the treatment you’d received. She’s fond of you, Steven, and you’ve always let her influence you. It was natural that she should want to fight this battle for you too.”

“And she fought it—but not in the way you think.”

Steven’s tone was bitter. “Are you really telling me Thelma gave you to understand that Kathryn’s refusal of me was anything other than a piece of the utmost honesty?”

“Thelma didn’t doubt the sincerity on your side, I know. But she did believe that Kathryn Clare had encouraged you to the point of proposal without the faintest notion of accepting you. And knowing what Thelma felt for you, I thought her judgment likely to be a lot less clouded than yours.”

“And you’d trust it even before your own?” asked Steven.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve met Kathryn, haven’t you? You work with her, don’t you? Are you telling me that almost daily contact with her hasn’t taught you anything about her?” demanded Steven on a rising note of challenge.

“Daily contact with her on the ward has taught me that she is a most efficient nurse,” said Adam carefully.

“How very discerning of you! Come, don’t hedge, man! You know more of her than that.”

“What do you want me to say?” Adam asked stiffly. “I’m afraid I can’t afford to let personal relationships intrude on my work.”

Steven shook his head despairingly. “You’re still hedging, and I know why. You’re defending Thelma
—
and I suppose I know why about that too. And even if I could get you to admit to anything at all about Kathryn or about the utter
quality
of her, I couldn’t expect her to mean as much to you as to me. But this you shall believe: Thelma was completely and cruelly wrong about her—about us. When she refused me, it was for only one reason—that she didn’t love me
enough. I hated the thought then; I hate it still. But neither you nor Thelma nor even Kathryn herself will be able to stop me from trying again!”

Adam stood looking at his friend for a long time. Then: “I do believe you,” he said quietly. “Thelma could have been wrong. But you’ve still got to make up your mind to go forward now, instead of looking back over your shoulder at a love-affair that was
finished before you went to Africa
—
”

“It isn’t finished yet! It can’t be! And sooner or later Kathryn will know it too. I can’t fail with her
—
I daren’t
! To-night I made a mistake—I appealed to her pity, not to her love. But that won’t happen again. And this time, if you don’t mind, for you and Thelma it will be ‘Hands Off’! When I’ve accepted defeat I’ll tell you. Otherwise you can take it that I mean to succeed.”

“All right.” Adam flicked ash into an ashtray on the window-sill. His back was to the other man as Steven asked: “You do see, then, that I’ve got to convince her how much I love her?”

“I see that you believe you’ve got to—which probably amounts to the same thing. Anyway from now on you can count out the chance of any interference from me. I suppose I owe you an apology.”

“That’s all right,” said Steven awkwardly. “You probably thought you were acting in my interests. You could have been, if Kathryn weren’t all that I know her to be.” He stood up a little irresolutely. “I think I’ll go and find her now.”

“She said she was leaving,” Adam pointed out.

“Lord, so she did. And I’ve got to get through the rest of the evening playing host to that crowd
!”

“Take a turn off,” suggested Adam. “Cut in for
this rubber in my place.”

“All right, if you don’t want to play.”

“I did, but I’ve changed my mind. If they want a second rubber I’ll come back later and release you.” Adam pulled aside the curtain and went through, pausing to take a drink from a tray as he passed the buffet table. He stood alone for a while looking about him. Not far away Thelma was talking to two men, but he did not join them. Instead he looked at her, his eyes appraising her poise and her animation, the arched curve of her throat, the sculptured line of her hair. He noticed for the first time the embroidered stole that she wore. Another woman, unaccustomed to the fashion, might have clutched it about her like a shawl. But Thelma wore it nonchalantly, with an air, as if she were as used to it as her handbag
...

“Worshipping from afar, eh? Now I should have expected to find you at the lady’s side!” With a deep chuckle Sir Paul Denver confronted him.

“Hullo, sir.” Adam indicated his sherry with a smile. “Perhaps I was enjoying her
Tio Pepe
too much to be willing to mix my pleasures
!”

“M’m. Good party, wouldn’t you say? As these absurd affairs go, I mean. This one, I understand, was laid on for Steven, though Thelma would appear to be the star attraction. But I daresay that’s how any woman would want it.”

“I suppose so.”

“I’ve been wanting to get a word with you, Adam,” Sir Paul Denver went on. “Just a scheme of mine that’s
still very much in the air
—
”

“Yes, sir?”

“Well, briefly, though I’m far from finished yet and won’t call off work until I’m carried out, I’ve been
feeling the need to get some permanent sunshine into my bones, and I’ve been turning over the idea of a clinic in South Africa, where I have some interests. It would be privately run, and staffed by first-class men and women. Mine would be the controlling hand, but apart from that I should leave the work to specialists in their line. I may say I’m putting this to you before sounding anyone else.”

“Do I understand, sir, that you’re asking me to join the team you would get together?”

“What else? I shall need a good paediatric man, and I don’t know where better to look.”

“Thank you. But I ought to warn you that I’ve only recently joined the Wardrop. My contract is
renewable yearly, but
—
”

“I realise that, and in any case I shouldn’t want your definite answer for another six months or so, by which time you’ll have had about a year at the Wardrop and should know where you want to stand for the future. May I take it that you’ll consider it?”

“I’m honoured that you should ask me, and I’ll certainly consider it,” promised Adam.

“There’s another reason why I’m glad to be able to give you six months,” went on Sir Paul. “You know I’ve always had your interests at heart, my boy, and it had occurred to me that you might be considering marriage in the meanwhile. If you decided to pull up all your other roots, a wife would be the best compensation you could have.”

“Yes, I daresay.” Adam’s tone was non-committal.

“No business of mine, eh? All right. Point taken! Meanwhile there’s just one other thing—if you decided to come out to S.A., could you bring along a trained woman—one with whom you would have every confidence in starting work on your allotted ward without delay?”

Adam’s brows went up slightly. “The description applies to the Children’s Ward Sister at the Wardrop,” he said.

“Does it? A thoroughly capable woman, would
you say?”

“I consider so. And you may have some ideas on the subject yourself. I saw you talking to her a while back.”

“I? Oh no,” Sir Paul disclaimed. “I’ve avoided anyone likely to talk shop to me. No, I haven’t met your Ward Sister, Adam.”

“She was in something dark—stiff silk, I think, with some frilly nonsense at the collar and cuffs. And she wears her hair—
so
.”
Adam sketched a half-circle about his own head.

Sir Paul stared.
“
That
girl? In the Fauntleroy lace?”

Adam nodded. “The same.”

“You astound me. I found her intelligent and charming, but she is so young
!”

“She is fully trained and C.M.B., and is more capable than any Ward Sister I’ve yet worked with.”

“I can see she has your confidence. Well, give me time to get used to the idea of adding seeming teenagers to my staff, and then perhaps you’d like to put the proposition to her?”

“Not yet.”

“No, and of course not until you’ve decided one way or the other yourself. I’d like the two of you to make a professional team of it, if you could.”

Adam said carefully: “Naturally I know very little of her circumstances or her future plans.”

“Naturally,” Sir Paul agreed blandly. But he shot
an acutely enquiring glance at Adam as he added: “And yet, you know, I’m surprised that with a girl like that you haven’t examined for yourself the possibilities of a different kind of harness from a professional one!”

Adam smiled politely at the quip but did not reply. And with a chuckle and a: “Sorry, Adam. Below the belt, eh?” Sir Paul patted his shoulder and moved off.