Nutcase (22 page)

I leaned back in my chair and regarded Ricky, noting the changes in him that had taken place since I last saw him; changes that his family had missed.

“You know what I do when I get really stressed?” I said. He looked at me. “I count things. I do multiplication tables in my head.”

“That’s weird,” Ricky said.

I nodded. “You know what’s even weirder?” I asked. “I know how much that jersey you’re wearing cost, because I purchased one for my husband a couple of years ago. And you’re telling me you have no idea who number nineteen for the Atlanta Falcons is. You’re walking around wearing an expensive jersey with the number nineteen plastered on the front and back, and you’re clueless about the player.”

“So what? Who cares?”

“Nobody,” I said, “because the number nineteen means nothing unless you multiply it by two and get thirty-eight. And I’m looking at the guy who plays for Thirty-Eight.”

Silence. Ricky stared down at his feet. “They weren’t supposed to kill him,” he said softly.

I stood and walked to the window that looked out over the parking lot. I did not want Ricky to know how sad and angry and helpless I felt. I was so sad and angry that I wanted to cry. I wanted to kick something. “What about medical school, Ricky?” I asked quietly.

“We don’t have a lot of doctors come out of our neighborhood,” he said.

I sat in my chair and pulled one of my cards from a plastic holder. I handed it to Ricky. “Call me when you’re ready to be the first.”

Eddie Franks wore a sheepish expression as he followed me into my office and sat down. “Your place looks real nice, Doc,” he said.

“Thanks, Ed.”

He winced. “Please don’t call me Ed.”

“Don’t call me Doc, and I won’t call you Ed.”

“I know you’re mad at me,” he said.

I arched one brow. “You think? Did you tell your parole officer that you made arrangements to take a naive, never-been-married woman to Las Vegas to elope?”

“Oh no,” he said. “I couldn’t possibly tell—”

“But I can,” I said and had the pleasure of watching him squirm.

He sat up straight and squared his shoulders. “Dr. Holly,” he said, giving me his best smile, “you’ll have to agree that, in the end, I did the right thing. I told Trixie the truth. I delivered her home safely, and I apologized to everyone for making them worry.”

“
After
my poor mother almost had a nervous breakdown,” I said, reaching over and punching him hard in the shoulder.

“Ouch!” His eyes widened. “Are you supposed to hit a patient?”

I hit him again, this time harder. He yelped, rubbed his shoulder, and moved to the other end of the sofa. “You could get into trouble for that, you know.”

I looked around. “Gee, I don’t see any witnesses, do you? It’s your word against mine, and I’ve never been in the big house. I could stick my letter opener through your gizzard and get away with it.”

He eyed the door.

“Don’t even
think
of trying to leave,” I said. I crossed my arms. “Where did you take my aunt when you were supposed to be at all-night bowling?”

He looked surprised. “We were at all-night bowling.”

I gave him my look.

“I swear!” He stiffened as though preparing himself for another blow. “I never laid a hand on Trixie. I have the utmost respect for her.”

“So what are your plans?”

He gave me a blank look. “Other than trying to get out of this office alive?”

“Don’t joke with me, Ed.”

He winced again. “Please don’t call me Ed.”

I pulled a book from beneath my chair that my mother had purchased at a flea market when I’d started dating. It had been weathered and dated even then, the pages yellowed and tattered. “I want you to read this book from cover to cover,” I said.

Eddie took the book and opened it. Some of the pages fell from it. “
The Etiquette of Dating
?” he read aloud.

“The nineteen fifty-four edition,” I said. “It doesn’t say anything about keeping a young lady out all night and making her twin sister crazy with worry. It doesn’t say one word about having the young lady’s niece drive across town at dawn because the stupid guy thought it would be fun to go to Vegas and get married after only a week of knowing each other.”

“I didn’t go through with it,” he said.

“Read the damn book, Eddie. Not once but twice. In the meantime, you’re going to take care of all your old business. Then, when I’m convinced that you can act like a gentleman, I might just let you date my aunt.” I leaned closer. Eddie leaned away. “Do we understand each other, Ed?”

He winced. “Please don’t call me Ed.”

“I’ll see you next week. Same place, same time.”

He looked relieved as he got up and started for the door.

“Ed?”

He turned.

“Try not to do anything else to piss me off.”

 

 

 

Lying on my sofa, Alice Smithers listened quietly as I led her to a state of total relaxation. I saw her body go limp and her cheek muscles slack, and I knew she had gone into trance successfully.

“Alice, I’d like you to remember a time when you were a little girl and you felt very safe,” I said. I waited. “Can you remember?”

The woman on the sofa nodded, but it was not a woman’s voice I heard. “Yeth.”

“Where are you?”

“With my daddy. We are at a fair. I am riding a horsey. It goes round and round.”

“A carousel horse?”

“Yeth. My daddy is standing by me. He wants to make sure I don’t fall.” She sniffed the air.

“What do you smell?”

“Cotton candy. My daddy bought me a big bag.” She giggles. “It’s sticky.”

“Is there anyone else with you?” I asked.

“My granny. She tells Daddy the cotton candy will spoil my dinner, but he laughs.”

“Where is your mother?”

Alice frowned. “I don’t have one of those. Just Daddy and Granny.”

“Where are you living?”

“We live in a small white house and grow beans and tomatoes and corn in our garden. I help Granny pull the bad stuff.”

“Bad stuff?”

“Weeds. Weeds are bad. They choke the beans and tomatoes and corn. Weeds hurt them.”

“How old are you, Alice?”

“Four.”

“Okay, let’s move ahead in time. You’re five years old now. Can you tell me where you are?”

Alice frowns. “I don’t know this place.”

“What does it look like?”

“Dark.” She started to cry.

“Take my hand, Alice,” I said. I reached for her hand and held it. “You don’t have to be in that dark place by yourself.”

“I can’t see anything,” she said, gulping back tears. “There is a door.”

“Can you open it?”

“No.” She started to cry. “I can’t get out.”

“Where is your daddy?”

“I don’t know. He and Granny got lost at the fair.”

“How did they get lost?”

“They got lost after I rode the horsey that went round and round.”

“But you must’ve seen where they were before they got lost.”

“They were on this big wheel that went high in the sky.”

“A Ferris wheel?”

“Yeth.”

“Where were you?”

She spoke quickly. “On a bench watching them. I did not want to ride the big wheel. I was watching them go round and round and round and—” She suddenly stopped talking. “Oh no,” she said. “No, I don’t want to.”

Alice’s body went rigid. I studied her closely, wanting to learn as much as I could but prepared to stop everything if she became too distressed.

“No, I don’t want to,” the little girl voice repeated, whining.

“Who are you talking to, Alice?”

“This lady is saying I have to come with her, but I tell her I’m supposed to sit on the bench and wait for my daddy.” Alice started sobbing. She squeezed my hand until it hurt.

Alice had returned to her four-year-old self at the fair, and I assumed she was being abducted by her mother, Carmen. I wondered if we should keep going. “Take a deep breath, Alice,” I said, my tone gentle but authoritative as I tried to guide her safely. “You’re standing in front of the ocean, and the breeze is blowing through your hair.”

She immediately relaxed, and her grip loosened.

“Okay, Alice, I want you to go back to watching the Ferris wheel, and when the lady comes up to you I want you to keep holding my hand and try to hold on to feeling very safe with me. And while you see the scene, imagine you are watching it on TV. You can turn the volume up or down, and you can turn your feelings up or down too, okay?”

I waited. “Is she there?”

“Yeth.”

“Who is the lady, Alice?”

She frowned. “I saw her before, but I don’t remember when. I think I saw her with Daddy one time. She might be my mother. I don’t want to go with her, but she picks me up and tells me I must be polite because she is all grown up and I’m not. And she puts me in a car that I have not seen before. And then I start crying and . . . Ouch!” Alice reeled.

“What happened?”

“She slapped me! My whole face stings, and I’m crying louder. I don’t like the way she looks and smells and I don’t like the dark place. The dark place is like weeds. It chokes me and I feel like a green bean or a tomato that is dying. And I hear these noises in the walls, and I can feel something crawling over my legs, and—” Alice screamed and screamed and tried to jerk her hand free.

“Alice,” I said, trying to talk over the screaming and twitching. “You’re back at the beach with the wind and surf. I’m holding your hand.”

She stopped screaming.

“I’m going to count to three and you’re going to wake up, but you’re still going to be a little girl.”

When Alice opened her eyes, I was holding Bubba Bear, the stuffed animal that was well loved by my young patients. I noted her look of excitement, and I introduced her to him. I got up and sat on the sofa beside her. “Would you like to hold him?”

She reached out, and I placed the soft bear in her arms. We sat there quietly. From time to time, I took her hand and squeezed it gently, and I continued to sit there as she sank against me, still holding Bubba Bear.

 

 

I was getting ready to leave for the day when Mona peeked inside my office. “Lewis Barnes is on the line,” she said. I could see the worry on her face, but, despite being best friends, I couldn’t discuss the session I’d had with Ricky. I didn’t have to tell Mona it wasn’t good; she knew me well enough.

I stared at the phone and felt a dull ache inside. Nobody liked to think of a kid’s life going down the toilet.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Mona asked.

I picked up the phone, and she closed the door. “Hello, Mr. Barnes,” I said, using what Mona called my professional voice.

“I’ve got Ricky in my office,” he said. “We’ve been discussing his case.”

“Mr. Barnes, I don’t know what you expect from me, but I have not agreed to get involved in Ricky Perez’s legal matters. I’m not a forensic psychologist.”

“I know that, Dr. Holly. That’s not why I’m calling. Ricky would like to speak with you.”

I felt a quiver of anxiety as I waited.

“Dr. Holly?”

“Yes, Ricky?”

“I, um, just told Mr. Barnes everything,” he said in a halting voice. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I was scared.”

I heard his voice catch, heard him sniff. “I know.”

“I hit Father Demarco with the baseball bat,” he said. He choked back a sob. “I never wanted to hurt him. But I was so angry. I wanted that Blood member to pay for what he did to girls, and I was willing to make any kind of deal. So I linked up with the Thirty-Eights. I’m sorry I lied to you.”

I swallowed. “How can I help you, Ricky?”

He started crying. “You already have,” he said between tears. “I never would have been able to tell my mom and my grandmother if you hadn’t called me down. I just want you to promise not to give up on me, because I want to be able to talk to you some more.”

“I’m never going to give up on you, Ricky,” I said, my voice wavering. Screw professional detachment, I thought. I’d have to be made out of stone not to feel something for the kid on the other end of the line. “You’re going to be the first doctor to come out of your neighborhood,” I reminded him. I had no grand illusions, only hope.

chapter 16

After hanging up, I sat at my desk and tried to gather my thoughts. Mona was right. I had a crappy job. She knocked on my door. Her expression was troubled. “Mrs. Perez just called. I guess you know what it was about.”

“How are they taking it?”

“Not so good. But Lewis Barnes said Ricky won’t do hard time since he will be tried in juvenile court. He might spend time in the juvenile detention center.”

“How is he going to get out of the gang alive?”

Mona sighed. “That’s the tricky part. Both Mrs. Perez and Ricky’s mother are prepared to leave at a moment’s notice with the clothes on their backs. Lewis and I are working on a plan in case they have to do that. In the meantime, he is going to talk to the judge. Ricky will have what the gang refers to as ‘street cred’ by being locked up, which is the safest place for him right now anyway.”

“Did he say anything about the shooting?” I asked.

“No, but the police told Barnes the so-called ‘Blood’ member ate a bullet for honing in on the Thirty-Eights’ territory. The penalty for that is death. It had nothing to do with Ricky.” Mona sighed. “It’s going to take someone smarter than Elizabeth and me to figure out a way to curtail gang violence, but there are supposedly experts who stay on top of that sort of thing.”

I was relieved that Ricky had no involvement with the gang member’s killing. I knew that even though he would confess to beating Father Demarco, he would never mention the Thirty-Eights or the deal he’d made. Ricky would protect his sister no matter what.