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When I ask Mami and Papi about going to Rico's, they seem cautious. Papi still thinks James is a dangerous psycho. Mami worries about what Rico said. To her, “solve your problem”

could mean something threatening, like a fight.

Isabel to the rescue. She insists on going along. She promises to whisk me away if anything bad happens.

Fine with Mami and Papi. Fine with me.

Isabel drives me to Rico's. Everyone's there. Except James.

Right off the bat, Isabel asks if this is a revenge meeting.

Rico shakes his head. “It's a strategy meeting. Family strategy. That's how I see Vanish.

Either we stick together as a family, or...”

“We vanish,” Bruce remarks.

“But James is a part of the family too,” I say. “He's an original member. He brought me in.”

“You're our manager,” Patti speaks up. “We're all equal.”

“I think we ought to talk to him,” Rico says. “Let him explain himself—why he started those rumors, why he's treating Amalia so badly--”

“He's been acting like a jerk for too long,” Bruce cuts in. “We don't need him. Kick him out.”

“That's what I say!” Maggie blurts out.

“Be fair,” Patti says. “I agree with Rico. Let's call him now and ask him to come over.”

Everyone (except Maggie and me) is mumbling in agreement.

“Don't bother. He's here.”

The voice comes from the garage door. It makes me freeze up inside.

It's James.

He strolls through the garage door. Smiling.

It's that evil smile of his. Right away I know he's heard the conversation.

No one speaks. We're all too shocked.

“What's the matter?” James asks. “You only kick people out behind their backs?”

Rico steps forward. “We're not doing that. We wanted you to explain yourself first--”

“And then you'll kick me out.”

James is glaring at Bruce. “That's the thanks I get for bringing you into this group, even though you can't play?”

Bruce turns red. He starts sputtering. But James is moving on to Maggie now.

“And you,” he says. “You think you'd have gotten into this group if my sister hadn't begged me--”

“Shut up, James!” Patti blurts out.

“You're killing it for yourself, man,” Rico adds. “We wanted to give you a chance--”

James laughs. He says he doesn't need the group. He says we're all a bunch of tone-deaf amateurs. He turns away and calls out, “Come on, Amalia.”

Come on, Amalia! I'm supposed to follow after him like a little chihuahua?

I want to throw something at him.

I'm about to yell, but Isabel beats me to it. “Don't you talk to her like that,” she says.

“Oh, I'm scared,” James replies, laughing. “Big sister's going to beat me up.”

“Big sister and friends,” Bruce says through clenched teeth.

“Hit me with the bass,” James remarks. “You might make a decent sound for once.”

That does it.

Bruce is ready to fight.

Maggie is in tears.

Patti is furious.

Rico is telling James never to set foot in his garage again.

And I'm ready to kill him.

Rico, Bruce, and Patti are advancing on James. His eyes are on me. I see fear in them.

But I also see mockery. And anger.

“You have a lot of people fighting your battles, Amalia!” James shouts scornfully.

I'm thinking, this may be the first and last time I am agreeing with James Kodaly.

This is not Maggie's battle. Or Isabel's. Or Rico's.

It's mine.

Suddenly Bruce lunges. James ducks aside and holds up his fists.

“Knock it off!!” I shout.

Both guys turn toward me. Bruce mumbles something under his breath and backs off.

I am facing James now. His features are tense, almost distorted. It's amazing how

someone so handsome can make himself look so ugly.

I feel drained. I feel empty. But I don't feel scared.

“James,” I say. “You don't need to start rumors about me. Because no one will believe you. You don't need to pick fights. Because even if you beat someone up, you can't change anything. And you don't need me. Because I will never be your stuffed animal.”

James is looking at me as if I'm a small, annoying child. “This all happened because of me,” I continue. “Because I was stupid enough to trust you. But I'm not making that mistake anymore.”

I look James in the eye. I wait for him to react.

When he doesn't, I turn away.

“Let's get out of here,” I say.

I walk out of the garage and toward the car. To my surprise, everyone else is following me.

Including James.

“Wait,” he calls out.

I look back. Some of the others don't.

“You're right,” James says. “I'm sorry. I did the wrong thing. I really, really lost it.”

I nod. Isabel and I climb into the car.

“Yeah,” I say out the window. “You did.”

Sat 1/17

Nbook, I can't believe five days have passed since I last wrote.

My excuse? Homework, I guess. Exhaustion.

Also, I'm so tired of bad news. And the week is full of it. I guess I just don't want to depress you.

But I feel the urge to write again, Nbook. Hope you don't mind.

First I'll let Linda's card speak for itself.

The only positive thing I can say, Nbook, is that Mikey seemed really happy when we visited.

But as of Wednesday, he and Linda are in places where no one can find them.

I search the newspapers every day for reports of Linda's case. But I haven't read anything that resembles it.

I know I may not ever see them again, Nbook. But that doesn't keep me from thinking about them. All the time.

Sun 1/18

I just read over the last entry. I realize it's the first time in awhile I haven't written about James.

Guess you've been wondering what's been happening between him and me, huh, Nbook?

Well, until today, nothing.

I see him from time to time in school. We don't ignore each other or stare menacingly.

Sometimes we just nod. Once or twice we've said “Hi.”

I don't know how he's feeling. Marina doesn't say much. I think she feels caught in the middle. Our friendship has definitely taken a nosedive.

As for Vanish, well, we haven't met for rehearsal. I know I should call Rico, and I will, eventually. Maggie thinks he's totally lost interest in the group.

Mami, Papi, and Isabel are glad James is not calling. Simon is hinting I should meet his ninth-grade brother, who's even dorkier than Simon.

One good thing about all this—it's brought me closer to Maggie and her friends. I like them all so much.

Actually, not counting what happened to Linda and Mikey, things have been going pretty well.

Until today.

Vista's having this Valentine's Day bake sale, to raise funds for gym repairs. I first see the sign-up sheet after second period, and I sign my name under the second-to-last slot under Decorations Committee. On the way to third period I see Maggie and ask her to sign the last slot.

Later she tells me she did just that. But when the committees are announced later, her name isn't mentioned. James's is.

I corner him after school and ask him about this.

But he's with a group of new friends and he just shrugs.

I head to my locker, furious. I pull it open and a note floats to the floor.