Obsession (19 page)

Trying to distract her, I switched to a topic I know always riled her up. “Don’t you have some delinquent to go tutor for your internship?”

Sure enough, the tips of her ears turned red with anger. “They’re not delinquents, they’re high school kids. Well, some of them are delinquents, but that’s beside the point. It’s great experience for me and I feel like I’m really making a difference. It’s sure as hell more satisfying than tutoring spoiled rotten little shits here at ASU. I swear, if I get one more trust-fund baby failing out of basic math because no one has ever made them accountable for themselves, I’m going to flip out. Drives me up a damn wall.”

She followed me to my room, both of us ignoring Kayla’s door when we passed it. After slamming my door shut, Joy flopped onto my messy bed. One of the trashy gossip magazines I liked to read slid off the bed, falling open to a picture of a shirtless football player with a really tight bubble butt selling deodorant. The guy in the ad had an ass almost as good as Leo’s.

Damn, I never did get to play with it as much as I wanted. I’d just gotten to the good part when my time was up. He was right, if he gave me the gift of being in control again, I wouldn’t waste it, because Leo took charge in a way that left me no room for thoughts, only actions.

“Earth to Hannah, I asked you a question.”

Realizing I was staring at the magazine on the floor instead of opening the full backpack to see what kind of goodies Leo had put in there for me like an eager little kid on Christmas morning, I smiled. “Sorry. I’m still processing the last few days.”

“You mean thinking about fucking him. Tell me! I want details about how you got that dreamy look in your eyes.”

I glanced at the time, then startled, panic filling me. “Shit! I’m going to be late. Can you unpack that for me while I shower, please?”

After I washed up in record time, I peeked out the door to make sure my room was empty before I came out. The bruises on my torso and buttocks disturbed even
me
a little bit, and I knew how much fun I’d had getting them. Joy would freak out.

Luckily the room was empty, my friend probably had to head out to work, but then I saw a long white box and a note from the pad of purple paper I kept next to my bed.

Hannah,

Oh my God, you little freak! The man bought you a personalized, diamond-encrusted butt plug! Girl…I can’t even. PLEASE go show it to Kayla so she can shit herself with envy. No pun intended.

Joy

PS: Bitch, we are so talking when you get home!

PSS: Does Leo have a brother?

I stared at the box, aghast, and sure enough, when I opened it, what I think of as a starter-size gold butt plug gleamed merrily away on a bed of red velvet. It really was pretty, and it was indeed personalized. There was a lovely H on the end of the plug done in diamonds. I stared at it, imagined being Joy and seeing it, stared some more, then began to laugh until I had tears streaming down my face.

Because it was a summer class, the lecture was winding down at six instead of seven and I was losing my mind with the need to see Leo.

I craved him, pure and simple. I craved his touch, his taste, his laughter, and most especially, the way he looked when he smiled at me. The memory of him holding me close as we cuddled, the scent of his skin when I buried my nose into the crook of his neck, all of it tormented me with little waves of desire that were growing annoyingly intense.

Ahead of me, my fading hippy professor droned on about economics in Bulgaria and I tried to pay attention, but my mind kept wandering to Leo.

What was he doing? Where was he? Was he thinking of me as much as I was thinking about him?

“Hannah,” a familiar guy’s voice whispered from behind me.

“What?” I replied softly without looking back.

“I was wondering what you’re doing this weekend, if you wanted to hang out or something.”

For a moment I just stared at my professor, thrown for a loop by that question. I took a quick glimpse over my shoulder to be sure that, yes indeed, popular and cute Tommy Pierce had just kind of, sort of asked me on a date. Had I fallen asleep in class and was dreaming this? Right now I should be freaking out inside, Tommy was hot as hell in an All-American-Boy kind of way, and he was nice to boot, but I felt…nothing. A scary blankness where there should be emotion.

“Hannah?”

I realized I’d been silent for a good deal of time as I tried to figure out why my emotions felt so dimmed. “Yeah sorry, um…I’m kind of seeing someone.”

“Oh.” He sounded truly disappointed, then cleared his throat. “No worries. If you’re ever free, look me up. My cell phone number is on our group sheet.”

“I will.”

I spent the remainder of class in a vague daze, barely remembering my walk from the lecture hall to my apartment building. When I reached the front door, I ran into one of my neighbors, an artsy dude who lived one floor above my apartment. We occasionally had to call them to turn their TV down, but they were nice guys and hot in a very emo way. I think they might have played in a band or something.

Roger, a tall and light-skinned black man with long navy-blue dreads, held the door open for me as he smiled. “Hey, Hannah. How are you?”

“Good, I just got done with class. How are you?”

We entered the ancient elevator together, the wood paneling peeling near the fluorescent lights of the ceiling. “Doin’ good. My band has a big show tonight down at the Cycle, you should bring your roommates and come. I’ll get you backstage passes.”

He winked and I had to laugh, because the Cycle’s backstage consisted of the kitchen prep area. “Tempting, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass. I already have plans tonight.”

“That’s too bad,” he murmured in a way that should have been sexy, but barely made me tingle.

We came to my floor and I gave him an awkward wave. “Bye, Roger.”

“I’ll see you soon, Hannah.”

By the time I made it down the long hallway that smelled faintly like bleach and curry, I was more confused than ever. Did I look different today? Were any of my bruises showing?

Then again, I was pimped out in another amazing outfit that Leo had put together for me, along with a note requesting that I wear it today, which I loved. Normally I wouldn’t have been drawn to the bright teal-blue shorts, but they went perfectly with the sleeveless taupe silk blouse and accompanying Native American jewelry. You can’t grow up in Arizona without learning a thing or two about turquoise, and I knew the cuffs I was wearing, which hid my bruised wrists, and the cute floral turquoise earrings were worth a lot.

Being so dressed up made me feel…well, pretty. Special. While some women may think it made me a gold digger, I really enjoyed it when Leo spoiled me, when he put thought into what he got me so they weren’t just expensive trinkets he was throwing my way to keep me occupied.

Like the butt plug. That heavy piece of gold and jewels haunted me, made me squirm as I thought about what it would feel like inside of me. Leo hadn’t said anything about using it in his brief note, so I’d hidden it in my stack of jeans in the closet. Shit, I wondered if I should maybe get a safety deposit box for something intended to go up my ass.

Or his.

I felt a warm tingle when I thought about putting anything in Leo’s spectacularly rounded ass, but that arousal died a quick death when I walked into the empty kitchen of my apartment.

The plates were still in the sink, and the cereal splashed on the wall had dried to a crust, but for once I ignored it. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t clean up after Kayla, that she had to do it herself, even if it did smell. Instead I brewed some mint and lemon tea, something my grandmother used to make for me when I was stressed out.

Just the fresh smell filling the small room soothed me and some of the tension left my chest. I hated fighting, hated disagreements, and dreaded the eventual confrontation I’d have with Kayla about taking care of her shit. She’d cry, pout, whine, and try to manipulate me, but I had to stand up for myself. I was tired of defending her actions to Joy, tired of pretending Kayla didn’t know she was being a bitch. Once upon a time, when we were young, Kayla had been the kind of girl that would stand up for me in front of the entire school, who’d been a good friend and someone I considered family. But she’d changed, we both had, and I didn’t think I could be friends with the person Kayla was now.

I had to come to peace with the fact that the girl I once knew had grown up into a woman I didn’t particularly like.

By the time I had my cup of tea and was sitting on the couch, I felt marginally better, though sitting had hurt my well-spanked ass more than a bit by the end of class. It was odd, when I was around Leo, I didn’t notice any of the pain he’d inflicted on me, but now that I was alone, those sore spots hurt. Part of me felt as though I should be worried about the level of violence Leo exhibited in the bedroom, but I somehow knew he wouldn’t hurt me. And I’d never told him to stop. No, I’d welcomed his violation, blossomed beneath his harsh touch into a phoenix reborn.

Maybe that’s what guys sensed about me today, that I’d been well and truly fucked.

The front door rattled and a moment later, Joy came barreling in, tossing her blazer off to reveal the peach-colored blouse she wore beneath while she simultaneously kicking off her sensible heels. I had just enough time to put my teacup down on the table before she launched herself at me, pinning me beneath her, the smell of her strawberries and peaches body mist surrounding me.

Grinning down at me, she gave an evil cackle. “Now you can’t escape! Tell me everything!”

“Get off of me and I will. Your giant boobs are squishing me.”

“I’ll smother you with them if you don’t give me all the dirty details.”

“Oh, girl, you have no idea how dirty things got.”

While I didn’t give her
all
the details, what I did share made the smile slowly slip from her cupid’s bow lips. “So now you’re into hardcore BDSM?”

“No, it’s not like that—well, in some ways it is, but Leo isn’t about being my Master…” I licked my lips, hesitating before whispering, “He likes for me to call him Daddy.”

“What?” Joy gaped at me, her mint green eyes wide. “Hannah, that’s disgusting!”

“No! Not like that.” I smacked her arm. “Not like weirdo pedophile incest stuff. More like…this is so hard to put into words…he takes care of me. Makes me feel safe. Tells me how special and beautiful I am. And when I say he takes care of me, I mean he takes care of me, in all ways. I’ve never felt so…cherished by someone before. I know I’ve said this before, but I feel like we were meant to be together, like we complement each other really well.”

“When are you seeing him next?”

“In an hour.”

“An hour. So you spent the entire weekend with the guy, haven’t been home long enough to even make a sandwich, and then you’re taking off with him again?”

“When you say it that way, it sounds bad. Am I being a clinger? You promised you would tell me if I am.”

“Did he ask you out or did you ask him out?”

“He asked me.”

“And have you two done anything other than have sex? Go out in public at all? Meet any of his friends?”

“Yes, we did things other than have sex, yes we went out in public, and yes I met one of his friends.

Technically we also ate and slept, we went out in public but had sex there as well, and I don’t know if meeting some of Leo’s friends in his kitchen while coming my brains out and speaking in tongues was something Joy would approve of, but she didn’t need to know any of that.

Rubbing my face, I groaned. “I really like this guy! He’s different, seriously.”

With a laugh, Joy shook her head, but worry etched a line between her brows. “Where have I heard that before?”

I cringed when I recalled how many times I’d told my friend the particular guy I was dating at the time was “different”. How this guy understood me, how we were a great couple, and all the other foolish things I’d deluded myself into believing. I’d stalk his social media and study up on everything he liked, so when we talked, he’d be dazzled by my knowledge of the things he loved, even if it was only a surface knowledge.

And Joy, patient and understanding Joy, was always there to dry my tears when the inevitable happened and my heart got broken—or at least bruised. And her curvy form was so squishy, she gave incredible hugs that just wrapped you up in softness and love.

Too bad we weren’t lesbians; she’d make a great girlfriend.

With a melodramatic sigh, I flopped back into the well-broken in couch. “But I really want to see him, and he made me promise I’d come over tonight.”

“He made you promise?”

“Yes,” I snarked, “he wants to see me and made me promise.”

“Hmmm, maybe he’s an even bigger stalker than you are, Hannah.”

I flipped her the bird. “Eat shit, Dolly Parton.”

“Whatever…but if he really asked you first,” she ignored my irritated glare, “then I suppose it’s okay.”

“Thank you, Mother.”

“It’s just weird, this need-to-spend-time-with-you thing he has going on.”