Obsession (A Bad Boy's Secret Baby) (8 page)

I loved children and always wanted my own someday, but I had no idea how he felt. We hadn't talked about kids yet, we were just getting to know each other again.

“Oh no...” I sighed, burying my face in my hands. This could ruin everything. Why was this so hard! It felt like everything and everyone was trying to keep us apart.

There was a rapping at the door.

I snapped my head up. Was he here already? I took another swig of the pink liquid, hastily cleaned the mirror off and left the bathroom. I stopped, leaned back in and rechecked my hair and makeup, then rushed for the front door.

Not even the sense of dread could stem my excitement at seeing Mal in person again. Was it crazy that he still had such a hold on me? Every time I thought about Mal's long lashes and intense brown eyes it made my head swim.

“Hey, Ness.” Mal was leaning against the threshold frame with an easy smile when I opened the door. He had his leather riding jacket in one hand, draped over his shoulder. Mal's dark cocoa-colored eyes held mine, the stare made my knees want to buckle.

He wore nice jeans that were loose enough to move easily, but were also form-fitting. They hugged his muscled legs and seemed to enhance the bulge of his cock. He also had on a black button-down shirt that was pulled taut against his hard pecks and had the sleeves rolled up to showcase his corded forearms.

“Hi.” My mouth went dry and my lips parted as if remembering how to smile again. I struggled desperately to keep my eyes from flashing down and feasting on the outline of his cock.

Would it be like this every time I saw him?

“I got you something.” Mal's full lips peaked at the corner, revealing a hint of teasing teeth. Teeth that I had felt drag across my inner thigh not too long ago. When he pulled his hand out from behind his back, it held flowers.

“They're gorgeous.” I marveled at the variety. There were purple crocuses, blue hyacinths, pink and white roses and red tulips, which were my favorite. Where had he— Then I noticed that they were wrapped in dirt stained paper towels. I laughed. “Did you tear these out of someones yard?”

“Not all of them. I did buy the roses.” His mischievous smile filled me with a buttery warmth. “But I thought you'd like these too. You ready to go?”

The urge to kiss him coursed through me with an electrostatic jolt. I felt all of this the last time I saw him at Bounce too. Even though I was so angry and hurt at his sudden disappearance, I still yearned for his touch.

I gingerly took the flowers then felt a different kind of jolt. I frowned at the uncomfortable stab in my stomach followed and the wave of nausea that followed.

“You're not feeling well, are you?” He must've seen it on my face, because his sexy playfulness evaporated.

The timing of all this was terrible! I hadn't been on a real date in forever and wanted nothing more than to find out whatever mysteries he had planned. Tonight was quickly turning into a disaster.

I shook my head guiltily. “I think it might be a touch of food poisoning.” I lied. “You want to reschedule?”

“I have a better idea,” he said, his eyes searching me. It wasn't the lusty gaze I'd seen in him before, this one was more concerned. Mal tossed his leather jacket on a nearby chair and took a few steps into the house. “How 'bout you let me take care of you instead? We'll do the full date another night when you're feeling better.”

I tried to talk him out of it, but he wasn't having any of it. I hadn't tried very hard to dissuade him. It really would be nice to have the company. I hadn't realized how lonely it would be in the house with my brother and his wife out of town.

Mal led me to the living room, commenting on how little had changed in the house since he'd stayed here. I hadn't really noticed that before. We updated the TV and a few other things but stylistically not much changed since Dad died.

Mal surveyed the kitchen and found me some plain salted crackers to snack on, while he made an impromptu dinner out of whatever I had on hand. The crackers and the medicine I’d taken earlier seemed to help. He told me to find a movie we could watch.

Netflix and chill? The idea of putting something on and fooling around made my chest flush. As much as I wanted to, my body was intent on betraying me. I'd only spent real time with Mal once since he'd come back, the night by the reservoir, and that had been brimming with sexual energy.

Maybe it was the crush I'd harbored for years or the fact that we had the most spectacular sex of my life, but I was too into Mal for my own good. It had only taken a few words from him in the past to rile my emotions and light a fire in my abdomen. I honestly didn't know if we could come this close and not rip each-others clothes off.

Was that all this was, just lust and sex? Wouldn't that fade after a while? Before we started hanging out when we were younger, Mal was never a
strings attached
kind of guy. I heard about him laying most of the girls in his grade. How could I really be so certain that he wasn't like that anymore?

Worry filled me again. If I actually was pregnant wouldn't that kind of commitment mean death for a free spirit like him? The sex and the steamy phone calls we shared were amazing but that wasn't all I wanted. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't hope for more with him.

Was that really fair to Mal? I don't know what he expected by coming back to Springfield, but I knew that it wasn't to be a father after a one-night stand. If there really was a baby growing inside me I was going to keep it. No part of me could ever give something like that up, even if that meant losing the man I’d always loved.

“What'd you come up with? Anything good?” Mal set down a steaming bowl of mushroom soup and some brown rice for me on the coffee table.

He had taken his over shirt off to cook and now only had a tightly clinging tank top on. I fought the urge to gawk at his muscles that seemed to overflow from the knitted cotton fabric. Why did he have to always look so damn good? I spent an hour getting ready before I felt sick, and all it took for him was to wear
less
clothing.

“Uh, still looking.” I had been so lost in thought that I had barely even started trying to find anything. I peered over the couch and watched him stroll back into the kitchen like I used to do when he lived with us, back when he was forbidden fruit.

“I can see you checking my ass out in the mirror.” Mal's voice rang out with all the smugness in the world.

“I thought I heard you drop something,” I lied, swinging back around and sinking as low into the couch as I could. My heart was racing at being caught and my chest and face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“You are so full of shit, Nessy.” Mal sat down next to me, placing his food on the coffee table. “You used to do the same exact thing when we were kids.”

“What? No, I didn't!” I totally did. I leaned backward away from him and pulled one of the throw pillows over my chest and mouth. It did little to hide my guilty smile. How did he possibly know that?

“Neither that couch, nor that mirror have moved in the last decade. I just never called you out on it before.” Mal cocked his head and raised thick eyebrows in a knowing gesture. He put an arm to either side of my retreating thighs and hovered over me. “Why did you think I was always
forgetting something
in the kitchen when we watched TV or played video games together?”

I sighed, covering my eyes and the redness that radiated off me. I was so caught.

“It's okay.” Mal pulled one of my hands away. “I liked the way you looked at me.”

My eyes followed a few strands of his hair, past where they met his long dark lashes, to eventually be snared by his piercing gaze. He hung there with only a few breaths-worth of space between us. I wondered if he'd kiss me, I hoped he would.

Mal didn't lower himself and take whatever it was that he wanted, he just studied me instead. His deep brown eyes seemed to trace my eyes, mouth and other facial features. I should have felt insecure under such intense scrutiny, but it didn't feel invasive or clinical.

His eyes held something else entirely.

“What is it?” I finally summoned the courage to ask, then stupidly diluted the question with a joke. “I can't already have soup on my face.”

I hated doing that. Was I so afraid of being truly noticed that I had to dissolve or downplay all the attention I received. It was a bad habit that plagued me since forever.

“I just don't get the chance to look at you enough.” His words, his silky tone, Mal was confidence incarnate. He could have had me in any way he wanted at that moment, he made my body feel like melted chocolate.

“Why were you sad during the ceremony?” Mal asked, instead of crushing me in a kiss that would've ruined me.

He saw that I was sad from the back of a church when not even my own family, a few feet away, noticed! How? Who was I kidding? I didn't think about Mal all the time just because he was handsome.

Although fantasies of him coming into my room and tearing my clothes off definitely kept me warm on cold nights, I had fallen so hard for him because I always felt he knew me. The real me. The me I spent so much time trying to hide.

So what did I say to those eyes that beckoned me to fall in and get lost?

I could've told him that I felt like my chances at marriage were slipping away. I saw how happy my brother and his fiancé were and I felt the claustrophobic despair of never getting that for myself.

I wanted to tell him that I was scared of being alone and that I might be carrying his child. Every atom in my body screamed for me to open up and spill my guts, to tell him all my hopes, fears, and worries. I wanted to tell him that I love him.

“Our soup is getting cold.” I replied, glancing away.

But if he knew the truth I might lose him.

Mal

––––––––

T
he call came in only four minutes ago and the fire truck was already hauling ass out of the station. The fact that I wasn't on it really pissed me off.

This call was for a massive five-alarm blaze in the industrial district, several fire companies in the surrounding towns were called in to help.

It was the perfect opportunity for me to take my mind off of Kait.

Unfortunately for me, I hadn't finished training yet so I was forced to stay back at the firehouse. I left the main doors opens for airflow and stalked over to the heavy bags to relieve some of my pent up frustration.

I had taken Kait out on a few more dates since that first night on the couch. We'd gone to a few of our old haunts as kids, some restaurants we liked as kids and a few of her newer favorites as well. I took her to the butterfly exhibit and a local concert. Everything with her felt right, except for one thing.

Something big was bothering her and she wouldn't let me know what it was.

I stripped off my shirt and threw a few quick jabs into the punching bag to warm up. We hadn't had sex again either. That was tough. It was hard to have her next to me and not ravage her.

As foreign as it was, I was starting to understand that sex wasn't everything. It was fun and I loved it, but I wanted all of Kait, not just her body. If she needed me to take it slow physically, I could do that. I wanted her to see that I supported her and that I would be there for her no matter what.

The lack of sex I could handle, it was the fact that she kept some part of herself hidden that bothered the shit out of me. She still didn't trust me.

I had warmed up and was now throwing combos and really laying into the bag. It felt good, but it was too easy to lose myself in it.

“The standards sure have fallen at Firehouse fifteen.” The voice and the punch to my ribs came from somewhere behind me.

I immediately threw myself to the side and dodged the follow up hay-maker, but the damage had been done. I could feel the grinding of a cracked rib. My back had been to the main doors, it was easy to sneak up on me as distracted as I was.
Stupid.
My drill sergeant would've kicked the shit out of me if he saw what just happened.

I expected to see Brendan, but it was Drew's ugly mug I laid eyes on. He had three other guys with him. No Brendan though. I figured none of the Springfield cops would fuck with me in a firehouse. It was funny how I could be both aggressively striking something and be caught off guard.

“They'll let any asshole in here, huh?”

“Hey there, Drew.” I cleared my throat and spat a wad of phlegm on the ground at Drew's feet. I was still a little winded from the hitting the bag. “You been working out? I almost felt that. You're not still mad about those black eyes back in the day, are you?”

Drew scoffed. “Kait was always too good for you.”

“Listen, Drew, you had an eight year head start. I just don't think you're her type.” I held my hands out and shrugged. Each breath painfully reminded me that my ribs weren’t at all happy right now. I needed to end this quickly. “She likes men.”

Drew's silly mustached face bristled with anger. He cocked a head and the other three officers advanced on me. Two men, who looked like rookies, went to either side, hoping to flank me while the third came straight in. Drew stood back waiting for an opening so he could catch me with a cheap shot.

I smiled.
I see you now, motherfuckers.

When the cop on the right lunged for me I darted forward. I drove a knee into the man straight ahead, a quick feint and an even quicker elbow dropped him. That allowed me to turn around and have both remaining attackers now in directly front of me. Drew took a step back.

They threw out tactics and charged me. It was exactly what I was hoping they'd do. I parried the first man's left hook, got behind him and used his own momentum to trip up his buddy. The rookies collided and crashed to the floor.

Drew came in with a vicious assault while my back was turned, except this time he used his big-ass metal flashlight instead of his fists. I narrowly avoided each blow and had to back step to keep out of his reach. It was an unfair advantage and it would be more than enough to take down any of the thugs and criminals that they were used to dealing with.