Oculus (Oculus #1) (14 page)

Somewhere deep inside I chide myself for playing devil’s advocate but I have to. I have to try to see a silver lining here.

He coaxes me gently to a stop and releases me so that he can be scanned. His office door slides open and he’s greeted. “Good. Morning. Chief. Ingram.” His fingers wrap around my forearm and he pulls me forward.

The door makes a
sloof
noise as it closes behind me without me being scanned.

“Sit.” I’m placed in a metal chair. I can hear him moving about the space. He pours a drink—two drinks. A cup lands in front of me. Glass on metal. The scent of coffee intermingles with the clean scent coming from Ingram. “Now, have you come here to tell me that you’re prepared to work for me?”

“For the Security Department, yes.”

“For me.”

“Semantics don’t you think?”

“Perhaps. Either way, you’re here now aren’t you?”

“I am. What will I be doing?”

His footfalls on the floor are light but they make every hair on the back of my neck prick. “You, Iris, will be doing whatever I want you to,” he said menacingly calm.

“I—can try typing, but I can’t promise that I won’t make errors. I could try other clerical work.”

“I have other things in mind,” he says while coming to sit directly in front of me. He reaches forward and tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear causing me to flinch.

“Like what?”

“I’ll get to that, but first you must agree to the same security contract that everyone in this building has. Security jargon. Forbids disclosing classified information to anyone without department clearance. That kind of thing. Would you like me to read it aloud?”

“Okay. Yes.” I sit quietly listening to him rattle off the Security contract. Nothing about it seems to be outside the realm of normal protocol for a department that must handle sensitive information.

“That’s it. Just need you to scan and we can proceed.” A drawer slides open and a moment later Ingram’s fingers are beneath my chin. The handheld device scans my useless eyes announcing, “Scan. Accepted.”

“Now what?” I ask, feeling a little more comfortable. I’ve signed the proverbial dotted line that all security employees do and it sends a trill of relief and excitement coursing through me.

“Iris, have I made you feel uncomfortable?”

“No. I guess not,” I lied.

“Surely you understand by now that you have… piqued my interest.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” the pad of his thumb brushes across my lower lip forcing me to pull away.

“You aren’t interested? If you’re going to tell me that you aren’t even remotely affected by me then I’ll be forced to call you a liar.”

“I’m not interested in being hunted, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Well that’s unfortunate. I wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t enjoy. Thoroughly.”

“I just want to work. That’s why I came here.”

“Well, maybe I can ask Hattie Brighton and Cade Nielsen how to convince you. Of course, it didn’t appear that your best friend was too impressed with her boyfriend’s little party last night. Reckless of you to go anywhere with Cade Nielsen.”

“How do you know about them?”

“I’m chief of security. It’s my job to know. Everything. And now you work for this department too.”

“I thought you said I work for you. Isn’t that what you’re getting at here?” I snap, feeling cornered.

“Semantics don’t you think?” he taunts, tossing my words right back at me.

“What do you want?” I have hope that my frankness will make me appear as unruffled as I wish I were.

“You know what I want.”

“And what if I don’t offer it?”

“Then you’ll find yourself on my very short list of people I consider uncooperative and those unlucky individuals never seem to fair too well.”

“So just to be clear, you’re exploiting me for sex?”

“I’d call it persuasion more than exploitation.”

“Semantics,” I grumbled.

“Cooperate and your rebellious friends will get a pass as long as they aren’t doing anything I deem threatening. You’ll be buying yourself time to convince all of them to cease their little soirees before I’m forced to intervene. We don’t take rebellion lightly around here.”

“How magnanimous of you.”

“I do admire your spunk,” he says, laughing in that same way that sounds so nice which only makes me angry. “Come now, don’t be mad. You can’t be mad at me for wanting you. If you could see yourself you’d understand.”

“Thank you?” I shake my head, feeling irritated that my brain and my body are at odds where he’s concerned. I’m an untouched twenty-one year old woman who is in the company of a man who would likely make good on his promises, but he’s a snake too! “Why didn’t you just
ask
me?”

“I don’t like being at the mercy of someone else. I have power. Why not use it?”

I have no response for that.

“So, when, uh—”

“When will I take you?”

“Let’s make something clear—I’m
giving it
to you. You aren’t
taking me
.”

“Semantics.”

“When?” I demand.

“I’ll work all that out,” he promises, planting a knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. “But for now, I need you to find out when Cade Nielsen’s next meeting is and be sure to attend.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You don’t have a choice, now do you?”

“Fine. Is that all?”

“For now.”

Without saying my farewell, I make haste to get the hell away from Chief Ingram. For now.

The grass at my feet is tall—taller than I’ve ever experienced. It brushes my legs as it sways gently in the evening air. The sun is low in the sky providing just enough light for me to see him running away from me.

To see him…

He moves so fluidly, so easily. He’s magnificent. “Wait,” I whisper, willing him to come back to me. I look on in wonder as he halts and turns to face me. He takes one step and then another, building to a measured run back in my direction. It takes no time for him to reach me. Without saying anything, he reaches for my hand and brings it to his face. I cup his cheek, enjoying the feel of his short beard against my palm.

“I’m here,” he says, wrenching a gasp from me.

“I can hear you.” I’m bewildered by hearing his voice. It’s so…
him
. Wild, unrefined, rough, powerful,
intimidating
.

He smiles awkwardly and moves in closer to me. He’s tall and broad and lean, making me feel so very small in comparison. Though I can see him, I’m still compelled to learn his face with my fingers. He watches me closely as I trace my fingers lightly across his sharp cheekbones, his eyebrows, his chin, the defined edge of his jaw, his nose, his lips…

My fingers drift lazily over his lips. He wraps his hand firmly around my wrist holding me there. Taking my hand in his, he kisses each of my fingertips so gently, so reverently, it hurts. It hurts so much more than normal.

He rests my hand against his chest where I can feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat. One of his big hands covers mine while his other hand cups my face. The lips that I’ll know forever, cover mine, sweeping me up in a kiss so perfect I could cry. My lips part invitingly and he obliges, releasing my hand and taking my face in his palms. His hands are calloused with the evidence of physical work but they feel warm and gentle against my skin.

I’m pulled tightly to his body. The pounding in my chest is mirrored in the pulsing deep in my core, begging, pleading for more. His hips grind against me, his grip tightens, his tongue slips against mine then back again, mocking movements that I wish he’d recreate with his body between my parted thighs.

“Please,” I gasp, needing more of him—all of him.

He stops suddenly leaving me feeling bereft. His lips quirk up in amusement.

“I do admire your spunk,” he says in a voice that isn’t his. I’m snapped from bliss at the sound of Ingram’s voice tumbling from my running man’s perfect mouth.

I awake covered in a thin layer of sweat with my heart pounding painfully in my chest and unsatisfied desire pulsing hungrily between my trembling thighs.

And it’s all Ingram and my running man’s fault! I’ve never had a dream of him that was so vivid or… heated. Ingram’s blunt demands and my longing for an imaginary man have my head spinning.

I’m worried about Hattie and how I’m supposed to tell her that I want to participate in Cade’s next meeting. I’m worried about how I’m supposed to stop Cade’s meetings—meetings where he shares his views so vehemently—views that I can’t say that I completely disagree with. The situation with my father has been delicate, at best. He disapproves of my decisions and as much as I’d like to say that I don’t care, I do. I care and I don’t like feeling like I’m at odds with the only family I have.

I keep telling myself that I have to be brave, that I
am
brave but nothing about my life right now feels brave. It feels like suicide and I can’t help but wish that I didn’t feel as isolated as I do.

Tears well in my eyes and suddenly I feel as though I’m slipping beneath what used to be the glassy-calm surface of my life just to do battle with an invisible undertow. I’m not sure which is worse, knowing that if I do, I’ll drown, or knowing very well that I’m not merely slipping beneath the surface. I’m willingly and knowingly diving in headfirst.