Odd Socks (31 page)

‘I'm sure she wouldn't.'

‘Of course I wouldn't!'

‘Nonsense. Besides, the sooner you know, the sooner you will stop harassing your poor mother.'

I try to look taken aback at this scurrilous accusation, but am actually at a bit of a loss as to how to counter it, given that I
had
been planning to head straight to my mother's house after I left here. Well, that's certainly off the agenda now.

‘So, that's settled.' Rose takes a sip of tea and then fiddles with the cup handle, not looking at any of us. ‘Now, this isn't easy . . .' she sighs and then, obviously making an effort, straightens up in her chair. ‘But it has to be done, so here it is. Girls, I've got something very difficult to say.'

‘Is it Peter Piper picked a pickled pepper?' asks CJ brightly, sticking her head around the kitchen door, ‘coz we learned that at school. Do you want me to say it again?'

‘No!' yells her mother, ‘I thought I told you you were to stay away till I told you?'

‘How come
she's
here then?' CJ points at me, and then puts her hands on her hips. ‘That's not fair!'

‘Christine Jain!' Rose turns around slowly in her chair and fastens her grand-daughter with a glittering eye, ‘you will
go down to your bedroom and you will play there until you are called. Sometimes adults need to talk about things that are just for adults and this is one of those times. Is – that – understood?'

‘But –'

‘And I'll give you two dollars,' adds Diane.

‘Cool beans,' CJ nods agreement to this arrangement and then disappears down the passage. As soon as her footsteps have receded, Rose turns back around and faces us once more.

‘All right then. As I was saying before I was interrupted, this is not an easy thing at all to tell you girls. And it's something I probably should have told you quite some time ago.'

‘You're dying!' blurts Cam, visibly distressed.

‘You are?' Diane looks at her mother in shock. ‘My god! Mum –
no
!'

‘You can't be!' Elizabeth shakes her head, then closes her eyes and puts her hands up to cover her ears. ‘No! No!
No!
I'm not listening to this!'

‘STOP!' Rose stands up and waves her arms like Moses parting the Red Sea, ‘I AM NOT DYING!'

‘What?'

‘Really?'

‘You are all ridiculous!' says Rose crossly, frowning at each of her daughters in turn. ‘Elizabeth, uncover your ears. Camilla, what on earth possessed you to say that I was dying?'

‘So you're not?' Cam looks at her mother wide-eyed.

‘Of course not! I only just got married!'

‘You idiot!' says Diane to Cam angrily, ‘you scared the life out of me there!'

‘Then you're sick?' asks Cam, ignoring her sister.

‘No! I'm as healthy as a horse and I plan to stay that way for quite some time.' Rose, still looking very annoyed, reaches
across and physically removes her youngest daughter's hands from over her ears. ‘Elizabeth! I am NOT dying!'

‘Oh! Thank
god
!' Elizabeth opens her eyes and sags with relief. ‘But then why'd Cam say you were?'

‘Because she's a fool.'

‘Well, pardon me for being concerned,' Cam says sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at her mother. ‘I'll just sit here and shut up, shall I?'

‘Perhaps that's best,' says Rose, nodding, ‘and I shall tell you why I asked to see you all before anybody else comes up with any wild theories.'

‘Excellent,' Diane says.

‘Good,' Elizabeth says.

‘Um,' I say, unwilling to add too much to the family dynamics.

Everybody sits in silence while we wait for Rose to continue. But now the moment has actually arrived, she seems reluctant to proceed. Instead she sighs and then stares either at the fern fronds or the view out of the window, it's difficult to know which. The rest of us take advantage of her distraction to share a variety of facial contortions, such as grimaces and raised eyebrows. After a few moments of this, Rose turns back towards us and picks up her cup of tea to have a sip. I notice, with a jolt, that her hands are trembling slightly.

‘Mum?' asks Diane gently, ‘are you all right?'

‘Yes, of course.' Rose takes a deep breath in and then lets it out in a rush. ‘All right. Firstly, I'd just like you all to remember that we are talking about very different times here. In my day, things were done differently,
women
were treated differently. And we didn't have quite the same choices you girls have now. Not that I'm using that as an excuse, I'm just saying that's how things were. Well, anyway – you know I have, of course, been married before.'

‘Naturally,' answers Diane, on behalf of her sisters, ‘because of our father, for starters.'

‘I meant
before
your father. My two earlier marriages. What I want to talk to you about now is my second marriage. And don't forget that although I was a widow, I was still only a girl. Twenty-one when I met him and we married within the year. He wasn't much older than me and everything was quite . . . quite lovely . . .' Rose pauses and a tiny smile flickers across her face and then vanishes as she continues. ‘We were together for three years before he was sent to Korea. The war was on, you see, but the stupid thing was that it was almost over when he went. He got there in April, was killed in June and it was all over by July.'

‘Oh, Mum.' Diane reaches across and puts her hand on her mother's as Rose lapses into silence. ‘How terrible for you.'

‘Wasn't his name Dick?' Cam frowns, obviously trying to remember details.

‘Certainly not. It was Jim–Jim Berry. And it's a long time ago now.' Rose moves her hand away from Diane's and straightens her back. ‘In fact, I wouldn't even be telling you all this if it weren't for something that happened this week. But I'll get to that in a minute. So, there I was, in our flat in the city with a telegram telling me I'd just been widowed again.'

‘Oh, Mum.'

‘Yes.' Rose pauses and looks up at her three daughters. ‘On the very same day that I found out I was pregnant.'

‘What!'

‘Pregnant!'

‘Exactly,' says Rose grimly. ‘I don't mind telling you that I didn't know what to do. I had no money. The family business had just gone under and my parents were doing it tough with
two daughters still at home to feed. They were sympathetic but they made it quite clear I was on my own.'

‘Mum, that's awful!'

‘What'd you do?'

‘I wrote to Jim's parents. They lived in Tasmania, in a little country town called Strahan. I told them about my situation and they took me in. They owned a small dairy down there and Jim's two brothers were still at home, but they made room for me and made me welcome. I worked in the dairy doing the books to help pay my way but they never forced me to – it was my choice. They were really good people. And on the first of January, on New Year's Day, the baby was born.'

‘I don't believe this.' Cam looks at Diane for back-up. ‘Do
you
believe this?'

‘So what was it?' Diane is totally focused on her mother. ‘A boy or a girl?'

‘A little boy. Lovely little thing – as bright as a button. Looked just like his dad. And the parents were as pleased as punch when I named him after Jimmy. They made it clear I was welcome to stay for as long as I liked, forever if I wanted. But, girls, oh – I
hated
it there. They were hoping I would marry one of the other boys because they saw that as the perfect solution. But I didn't – at all. You see, they were all lovely people but they were
different
from the people I had always known. More staid, more settled. I was still only in my mid-twenties and I felt, well,
stifled
by the country.' Rose shakes her head and grimaces at the memory. ‘Funny when you think that I ended up on a farm with your father anyway.'

‘But you were older then,' says Diane supportively.

‘Not much older,' continues her mother with a shake of her head, ‘but I wasn't to know that at the time. All I knew was that if I stayed there I would . . . die. So I left. I came back to
Melbourne, moved into a flat with another girl and even got my old job back. As a machinist.'

‘But who looked after the baby while you were at work?' asks Elizabeth with a puzzled frown. ‘And what happened to him? Where is he?'

‘You left him there,' Cam says slowly, looking at her mother. ‘You left him in Strahan.'

‘Yes, I did.'

‘Mum!' exclaims Diane, aghast. ‘You
didn't
!'

‘I did. They knew I was unhappy so they offered to look after him while I got myself settled back here. You see, it was only supposed to be temporary – or maybe they realised how hard I would find it to get into a position where I
could
take him. I don't know. Anyway,
I
thought I could do it. But I couldn't. Don't forget these were the days before child-care, and crèches, and government assistance. Oh, I missed him
so
much . . .' Rose pauses again and gazes for a moment at the far wall between Cam and Diane. Then she gives herself a little shake and continues:‘ And I put some money aside but it was never enough. So they wrote and told me how he was going, and what he was doing. And I even went back once, but that was worse . . .'

‘Why?' asks Elizabeth, leaning forwards as her mother trails off.

Rose takes a sip of tea and then puts her cup down, fastidiously straightening it in the saucer. ‘It was his first birthday and I remember he was already walking. Into everything, he was. And he was so at home there. He was even calling Jim's mother “Mummy” – he didn't know me at all.'

‘Oh, Mum,' says Diane, horrified, ‘how awful!'

‘Yes it was,' continues Rose matter-of-factly. ‘It
was
awful. So I never went back again. And, after a while, the letters petered out. My fault as well as theirs. I suppose they thought the longer I wasn't in touch, the more chance they had of
keeping him. As for me, there is no excuse. I was young, and selfish, and stupid. And I decided that if I couldn't have him, it was easier not knowing him. Eventually I met your father and married him. He was a good man, and I have no doubt he would have taken the boy in. But
I
decided that it was too late, and he was better off staying where he was. So I never even told your father.'

‘This is unbelievable,' Elizabeth says, shaking her head. ‘We have a
brother
?'

‘How old would he be now?' asks Diane pragmatically. ‘And has he ever got in contact with you? Have you ever met him?'

‘And where does he live?' Elizabeth looks at her mother curiously. ‘Does he know about us?'

‘One thing at a time.' Rose holds up her hand. ‘Let me finish. When I married your father and decided against telling him, I also decided against telling Jim's parents. Right or wrong, I made a clean break. That doesn't mean I never thought about the boy, or wondered what he was doing. But, no, I never contacted them again. As for your questions, well– he is forty-six now, he still lives in Tasmania, he knows about you three and, yes, I've met him.'

‘When?'

‘What does he look like?'

‘
I
know,' says Cam slowly, glancing at me. ‘And you know too, don't you?'

‘Yes, I think I do,' I reply, looking at Rose as everything continues to tumble into place. ‘It's Richard, isn't it?'

‘Yes–it's Richard.' She smiles thinly at both of us. ‘Richard James Berry, named after his father. Except that everyone called his father Jimmy.'

‘
Oh!
That's the Richard from your lunch, isn't it?' Diane says excitedly as she turns to Cam. ‘The one that you said made Mum go all odd.'

‘How come everybody knows who he is except me?' wails Elizabeth.

‘So I had lunch with him yesterday,' Rose continues, looking relieved the worst is over, ‘and he seems perfectly pleasant. In fact, I do believe they did a
very
good job. He's polite, charming, very well brought up. Ask me what he does for a living. Go on – ask me.'

‘What does he do for a living?' asks Elizabeth obediently, before suddenly screwing up her face. ‘Eech! He doesn't still do . . . milk, does he?'

‘No.' Rose dismisses the milk industry with a wave of her hand. ‘Of course not.'

‘Then what?' I finally find my voice because I really want to know, and I wouldn't have cared if it
was
milk. I quite like milk myself.

‘He is a doctor,' announces Rose, sitting up straighter as she beams at us and waits for the applause. ‘A doctor of philosophy, that is. A university lecturer.'

‘Christ,' mutters Cam, ‘his lectures must go for hours. The man can't string three words together.'

‘But when did
you
speak to him? How come you've met him?' Elizabeth stares at Cam. ‘And why wasn't
I
invited?'

‘Pfft,' replies Cam shortly.

‘Are we going to see him?' asks Diane.

‘Yes, you are,' answers her mother. ‘For lunch–today.'

‘Lunch!' says Diane.

‘Today!' says Cam.

‘Wow,' says Elizabeth, ‘a
brother
!'

‘But how did he know Joanne?' I ask Rose, thinking ahead. ‘I mean, they told us they met at some airport lounge. Surely that's a bit, well, coincidental, isn't it?'

‘Who's Joanne?' asks Elizabeth with a frown. ‘Do I know her? And why does everyone know everything except me?'

‘I have to admit,' replies Rose thoughtfully, looking at me, ‘that's the strange part.'

‘I'll say,' grumbles Elizabeth crossly.

‘That?' says Cam, looking at her mother with disbelief, ‘
that's
the strange part? You hit us with the news we have a brother we've never met, that you had a baby forty-six years ago who you haven't seen since – and yet the bit about the airport,
that's
the strange part?'