Ode to the Queen (8 page)

My heavily lidded eyes fell like a curtain on the final act and sleep drifted over me soon enough. But like most nights it didn’t last long before I was awake again, or so I felt.

When my eyes opened again I sighed heavily, turning to look for a clock. I was sure that it had only been seconds before when I had closed my eyes. But my room was different and my clock was missing.

With a frown, I sat up in surprise, looking around to make sure I was still in my bedroom when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in my big window. I absorbed the sight of the dress I wore with wonder, as I stood, moving closer to the woman in front of me.

The garb wrapped around my frame was far more Grecian than my typical apparel. I knew then it had to be a dream no matter how awake I felt. The dress was lovely though, one shouldered and billowing in all the right places. The material was silky but gauzy at the same time and decorated as though it were fit for a Queen. Even if I wasn’t Hera, I certainly looked the part of Queen of the Gods right now.

I was admiring the broach of gold, emerald and sapphire on the shoulder strap, mesmerised by the eye of the peacock feather they depicted, when movement behind my reflection drew my eyes toward it.

A sudden coldness washed over me as the woman and I made eye contact. She stayed unflinchingly where she was, her eyes bearing into mine as Aidan’s once had and I felt something grip my stomach into tight knots.

Instinctively I turned, checking over my shoulder to see if she was behind me but as I had suspected, in the back of my mind, she wasn’t there. Of course she wasn’t, it was impossible for there to be two versions of me in existence…

But when I looked back in the window she was there again, standing behind me smiling softly.

“It suits you.” She said knowingly and I knew she meant the appearance of a Goddess Queen. “You were meant for this, even if you didn’t realise it before now.” She stepped closer and I sought out the differences between us. My mind was trying to make some sense of how this was possible.

I rationalised that maybe this was another one of Charlotte’s mind tricks but then again, why would she waste the time and how would she have gotten into my locked apartment?

“I know you’re confused Savvy, I know there’s a lot of questions you want the answers to but you have to trust me… You’ll come to know them one day but you mustn’t rely on your instinct.” Peculiar advice considering most people would tell you to follow your instinct instead of your mind. Minds were far too rational and logical to be any help in matters of the heart.

“You are in danger Savannah, he is coming.” Who? “You must be vigilant, you might think you will do the right thing when the time comes but he knows... He knows you so thoroughly he can anticipate what your next move will be and you will be lost.” Her voice was steel, her face masked in determination. There was something important she was trying to tell me but it’s meaning was lost on my foggy, sleep-addled brain. “He is not what everyone thinks he is. He will trick you, use and abuse you for his self-serving purposes.” The only person I could think of that she could be talking about was Aidan, but her message made no sense... He wanted nothing to do with me and he couldn’t have made that any clearer.

“There is a struggle for power in this world. A never-ending battle of wills and unless you are careful you will get swept up in it and it will destroy you.” Well now it just sounded like she was talking about Charlotte who had made her intentions well known amongst everyone- she wanted to be Queen at whatever the cost.

“Nothing is as it seems here Savannah. Be careful of what you do because it’s context amongst the others will be different from your intention and a Queen must always maintain her dignity.”

Queen. So this other me thought I was Hera too. It wasn’t necessarily proof but it was something and it was piling up against me. Not only was Aidan saying it whenever he saw me but now I was coming to myself to tell myself the same thing. This was all very confusing so I shook my head, but she didn’t disappear nor did I wake up or return to lucidity.

“And if you join with him, the prophecy will be fulfilled. He will be your rise and downfall. Not everything is-” Her face was contorted with angst while my own reflected back at her in confusion. None of these warnings helped if I didn’t actually know whom I was being warned against.

“Who?” I finally asked, and she stopped mid sentence to look at me. She seemed perplexed that I even had to ask and for a second I didn’t think she was going to answer me.

Not that her answer proved to be much help either, “I cannot tell you. I am spelled to ensure that everything run its course. But you know, in your heart of hearts you know the truth.”

“You told me before not to trust my instincts...”

“Do not trust your human instincts, but trust your Godly ones...” Disbelievingly I shook my head again and turned from the window, hoping that if I couldn’t see her reflection she didn’t exist. I padded softly to bed and collapsed down on it, hugging a pillow to my body protectively.

“Be strong, for us… It’s the only way to change.” Her voice echoed through the room softly as though carried on a soft breeze, leaving a perturbing silence in its place.

I should probably be worried I was hallucinating like this. But then again, I comforted myself with the fact that at the very least it wasn’t like I was seeing other people. I was just seeing myself, so that had to count for something.

Turning over onto my side I pulled the duvet up over my back and decided to go back to sleep instead of mulling over everything she said. I didn’t need to remember her words; they were mine after all - weren’t they?

Telling myself to watch my back with these people came as no surprise. Charlotte, for all her niceties, certainly gave me the impression of a python waiting for the kill.

I continued to rationalise to myself for a moment longer before sighing softly. I let my eyes slip closed once again and snuggled further into my bed, letting myself drift off once more.

The next morning came far too early. Maybe that was due to my waking up to talk to myself. But when the sunlight streamed through the massive windows, burning through my closed eyelids, I groaned and waved my hand at them as though it would help.

Surprisingly something did happen. Curtains were mysteriously drawn, causing me to sit up in surprise. Out of nowhere two deep velvety purple curtains had appeared and had shut out the sun turning my room back to darkness. Standing up, I moved over to investigate but as I reached out to touch them the motion of my hand made them fly away again and disappear into nothingness, leaving me in a very bright bedroom. I caught my reflection in front of me and started slightly at the sight of the bathing suit and not the beautiful dress I’d been wearing later that night.

Frowning at the different reflection I turned and undid the sarong, folding it up and putting it back into the closet. I quickly picked out a dress and switched the bathing suit for normal clothes before heading out to make myself something to eat. I was pleased that despite the new stain on the carpet, the TV no longer looked like a catastrophe.

At least my entire life wasn’t in pieces.

I thought about spending my day in and just avoiding everything that had happened the night before. But then that would only be the cowardly way out. Savannah number two had told me last night to be strong for us. Hiding away just because Charlotte had flaunted her conquering of Aidan was not the way to be true to the other Savannah’s wish.

I had to go out there and pretend like I didn’t care – because I didn’t, not really, right? I had to just focus on working on figuring out my Goddess.

I knew that I probably had to stop denying the fact that all signs pointed to Hera. But I really struggled to believe Atlas would pick me for such an important position in the Greek hierarchy. I wanted to believe he had picked the wrong person mostly based on the fact that compared to everyone else here; I was much less perfect than them.

I had a quick breakfast and resolved to head out, looking for any sign of life. Recalling what Dana had told me about thinking hard about where I wanted to go, I focused on finding where other people hung out. Unsurprisingly I managed to get lost. I took a moment to question whether the information I had been given was accurate when I pushed the next-door open and I walked right into a massive lounge room milling with people.

Pride swelled within me, praising myself with thoughts about how I’d managed to do it with no help and in a relatively short amount of time. The room lacked normal couches and chairs but instead there were massive cushions on the ground where people were lazily draped over them. Huge curtains of material were hung from wall to ceiling like a circus tent creating a very bohemian atmosphere for the room.

But those who were there weren’t socialising as I had expected them to. Instead the attention of the entire room was centred on two people in the middle: Aidan and some other guy I didn’t know. Charlotte wasn’t far from Aidan’s side but looked too worried to want to get closer to the boys.

I realised why as soon as I let myself linger more on Aidan. He had taken the other guy by the neck and was holding it tightly, the expression on his face dark and brooding. There was something angry residing in him, just below the surface. If this guy in his hands didn’t choose his words carefully he might soon live to regret it.

The other guy, however, merely smirked, uncannily almost like Aidan and simply said: “you might be Zeus but you’re not King. This is a second chance, which means we’re all candidates for the position. And given the prize, you’d be stupid to not notice the competition piling up around you Aidan.”

Aidan didn’t say anything, he just stood there glaring at the other man and the cliché phrase “if looks could kill” passed through my mind. Something was seriously wrong here, and instead of the numbing dislike I was trying to convince myself I felt for the King of the Gods I felt instead that I wanted to help. Or at least understand better before helping.

Not all of our problems were solved, especially considering neither of us had been given the chance to talk about it still but I just couldn’t bring myself to hate him, not when he was so blatantly distressed. Besides, I owed more loyalty to Aidan than I did this stranger.

I needed someone to press for answers that had seen what had caused all this before getting involved. I could have never imagined Aidan as someone who let someone else get this much under his skin. I’m sure since he was Zeus he should have some kind of temper problem but I had yet to see it. I had simply assumed he’d worked at controlling himself when his emotions flew off the handle.

Royce wasn’t far off, standing at the ready to go in and help Aidan if he needed it. So I moved quickly over to him for an explanation. He was absorbed in the action in front of him, his stance hard and waiting for the signal. I didn’t know why he felt such a protective instinct for Aidan but it was of some comfort, unnecessary comfort, to know that Aidan had someone in his corner if he needed it.

He didn’t even notice me as I moved up beside him. The corners of his mouth twitched a little in the form of what I thought could be a smile but not much else changed. He was focused so intently on the action that I did my best not to frighten him with my sudden appearance and questioning.

“Who’s that?” I whispered softly, and despite my best efforts Royce started slightly before looking down at me as though he didn’t immediately recognise who I was.

“Lincoln.”

“You forget that the so called
prize
is not really a candidate for finders keepers.” Aidan’s voice was like ice, carving the silence in the room with his deep tone.

“What prize?” I asked Royce, looking over at him again. His eyes met mine for a minute.

This preceded a pregnant pause before he shook his head, “don’t know.” I frowned again and looked back to the boys. I got the impression that maybe there was more to this than he was letting on. For whatever reason he had chosen to not tell me. Of course, this made me only want to figure it out more.

Lincoln spoke again, drawing my attention away from Royce for a moment, “yeah, maybe you’re right. I usually like to break toys in myself without someone else’s help.”

That, as it turned out, had been the wrong thing for Lincoln to say as Aidan’s composure crumbled and his knuckles tightened. His muscles reflected the tension of the action before he suddenly launched Lincoln across the room and threw him into the wall.

A carnal reaction inside of me awoke for a moment as I found myself vaguely aroused by the idea of his strength and power. Just as quickly as the thought appeared I realised just what I was imagining and shook my head to clear the images. That was not appropriate right now; I scolded myself for even thinking it.

Royce jolted forward slightly; ready to engage if Aidan needed him. But Lincoln barely flinched from the power of the blow. Everyone in the room was on edge, waiting for whatever was going to come next.

It was growing increasingly obvious to me, and to everyone else, that because we were Gods we certainly lacked the mortality we were used to. Anyone else under the wrath of Zeus like that would’ve at least sprained something, if not broken a bone of some kind.

But Lincoln merely leapt back up to his feet ready to retaliate when Hunter moved forward from where he was backing Lincoln, stopping his chest with his hand and shook his head.

“Both of you! Get out!” Aidan thundered and for the first time took on the persona of the King he was meant to be. He filled the room with this power and I felt awed by it. Something inside of me, akin to pride, admiration and desire, surged. Something about Aidan being in charge was certainly attractive.

Lincoln cast one more hateful glance at Aidan before storming out, followed shortly by Hunter who seemed only too happy by this turn of events. I sensed now that last night might not have just been me using Hunter as a pawn but Hunter using me as a pawn too. This was all a bit bigger than a silly hook up. I felt dirty, disapproving the idea of my having anything to do with what had just happened.

The minute the door closed behind him the room erupted in chatter and Charlotte moved forward to talk to Aidan. I watched them for a moment as she slid an arm around him, saying something to him, which left him staring angrily at the floor still in contemplation. His face was a river of emotion, sweeping between each one so rapidly none had the time to stick. I wanted to know what she was saying to him and even more so to know what he was thinking but I knew I definitely wouldn’t get any answers from either of them. So, I turned back to Royce, more questions burning.

“Who is Lincoln? Why was Aidan so angry?”

“Uh... Lincoln is Cronos. And he also said a couple things Aidan didn’t like.”

Cronos? Cronos was the Titan in charge before Zeus, Zeus’ father to be exact. But what I couldn’t understand was why Hunter was siding with Lincoln on this when he was supposed to be Poseidon, who was Zeus’ brother. The two of them had worked side-by-side last time to bring Cronos down. So, there was no reason for him to want to side with his Titan father. But it was obvious the two boys had banded together against Aidan for whatever reasons they held.

“Like the threat about challenging Aidan as King?”

“And the like.”

I thought about all this for a moment before nodding, “makes sense though.” Royce made a small agreeing noise before turning to me, fully digesting what I had said.

“What do you mean? Aidan is Zeus and Zeus is the only King of the heavens.” I laughed and shook my head, “said like the passive aggressive God you are… Cronos was King before Zeus usurped him. Cronos, technically, has a right to the throne until Zeus took it away.”

“Yeah, but Cronos also ate you and your siblings. I think he gave up his right when he got power hungry, emphasis on the hungry.”

“Me and my siblings? I’m not one of you.”

Royce cast me a long thoughtful look before saying simply, “do you really think you’re not Hera?”

I knew he was questioning me but there was something about the way he said it that sounded like a statement as though if I didn’t think that I was Hera I was nuts.

I was so sure now, having half convinced myself, that I wasn’t Hera because of all the things I didn’t want to have to admit if it turned out I was.

I couldn’t be Aidan’s other half. While the idea was intriguing enough to me, I also knew it would entail a lifetime of emotional pain. And that was the very thing I had vowed I wouldn’t fall for anymore. Not to mention I still just couldn’t stomach the idea of having my future decided for me already. Whether it was a second chance for us or not, there was no way any of us could turn against the wills of our Gods if they decided to repeat their past mistakes.

“I’m not Hera.”

Royce shook his head; “I think I’d know my mom when I see her.” He teased slightly before shrugging, “whatever. Maybe I’m wrong. But I still think Zeus is more fit for the throne than Cronos ever was.”

I opened my mouth to say something but he glanced away, giving me a moment to see several people were looking over at our direction now and whispering. I turned to look back at Royce hoping for an explanation but he stuffed his hands in his pockets and wandered off toward a couple cushions where people were chatting lightly.

Feeling lost I scanned the crowd once more, heat gathering in my cheeks at the unnecessary attention I was receiving from everyone. I focused intently on Aidan and Charlotte, needing the distraction even if I couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other.

It wasn’t long before Aidan growled in frustration, throwing Charlotte’s hands off him and stormed out of the room. The door slammed behind him, the chatter raising a decibel almost right after and I was left feeling empty by the unintended rejection. He hadn’t even seen that I was there.

I tried to shrug off the disappointment, reminding myself of my other self’s words before looking around. With Royce gone, I was left to my own devices to make friends and everyone else had already separated into groups. I felt awkward and out of place, wanting to find someone to join but feeling a distinct sense of being unwelcome about the room. My eyes spotted Dana and I thought about going to her but before I even could move Charlotte started making her way toward me.

“I thought you’d be in bed recovering for the day.” She said with that unnerving smile of hers.

I shrugged, “wasn’t that drunk really… No need to stay in bed if I’m fully functioning right?”

“No, I meant about your, uh… wild night.”

“What?”

She looked pleased as though she had just learned something very crucial. This only confused me more. Vaguely I thought that maybe the cowardly way out would’ve been easier today instead of pretending like I didn’t have to scrub my mind clear of the images she’d burned onto it last night. But then I heard other Savannah’s voice once more, telling me to be strong for us and I knew that being cowardly was only showing Charlotte she had gotten to me. Which, I most certainly didn’t want.

“Hunter told me all about it. The things you did… I’m surprised. I definitely thought you were a prude.”

I was thrown; we hadn’t done anything except make out so I didn’t understand what she was referring to.

“Well, I don’t consider kissing someone all that liberal...” I said carefully, watching her reaction. Her voice suddenly dropped as though for my sake she was trying to maintain some dignity for me as she whispered,

“C’mon you’re with a friend, you can tell me the truth… Was it as good as he made it sound?”

“Uh…” My face scrunched up slightly, trying to pinpoint exactly what she could be referring to before I shook my head.

“Honestly Charlotte, it was just a normal kiss. Nothing unusual so I can’t exactly say it rocked my world… You, on the other hand, probably have a lot more exciting stories from last night that I don’t want to hear.”

She laughed carelessly, not even acknowledging the small dig I had put in before she shook her head.