Ode to the Queen (9 page)

“Be that way, but because we’re friends… I figured I should let you know everyone thinks you’re a slut.”

“What?” My voice had unintentionally gone an octave higher in response to her statement and she looked smug as everyone in the room turned to look at us.

“This is really hard for me but we’ve also decided we can’t have someone like that among our ranks. It just doesn’t uphold the standards the Olympians need to set.” She sounded almost like she was genuinely hurt that she had to tell me this. I was sure though that she was gleaning as much pleasure from it as I got pain.

“Excuse me?” Charlotte’s demeanour, that “of a friend”, had totally changed in the course of a single sentence. This wasn’t a friend anymore, but the python that had been waiting for the kill all along. Aidan wasn’t the only one who had to watch his throne, there were others waiting to seize mine from me. That is, if I really was Hera.

“We expected better Savannah… That’s all. But I mean…” Her voice was getting progressively louder so everyone in the room was watching us now.

“This is what should have been expected of trailer trash, right?”

The words slipped into me the way a sword would have the body. They dug in, sending a deep resonating pain through me and it took all my self control to not tear up there. It was the best I could manage as my face turned bright red in horror and my eyes skirted about the room to see how everyone was looking at us.

I wanted to say something clever. I wanted to knock her off her high horse in front of all the people here. I wanted her to suffer. I wanted to see her in pain, but there was nothing.

My mind felt like white noise and the best I could do was offer her a small smile and shrug, “whatever… It’s not like I believed any of this stuff in the first place.”

I turned, inhaling deeply to keep my cool. I made my way toward the door with as much dignity still intact as I could manage. The worst thing was that I fumbled with the door as I tried to open it and then, subsequently slammed it in my frustration on the way out. No doubt the brunette would interpret that as a petty attempt to show my anger at having lost to her.

But this wasn’t a game to me. It might be to her but, to me, this was war.

If she wanted my throne she would have to kill me for it. Because as of right now, I was fully embracing my Goddess: Hera – Queen of the Heavens.

I guess I expected something more. Maybe like a clap of thunder, or a jolt of lightning. Something that left me feeling different, but nothing happened. And I stood there for a good minute or so waiting for whatever “union” Charlotte had told me earlier would happen. Finally I realised all I was doing was looking like an idiot and so I sighed, walking away from the door.

For a moment I considered that maybe I had been right all along and I really wasn’t Hera. But it was a fleeting cowardly thought, part of me not wanting the responsibility, history and fate of it while the other part of me just wanted to use this to knock Charlotte on her ass where she belonged.

Besides, the things I had been experiencing emotionally lately had to be a good indicator of my Goddess too. My uncontrollable desire for Aidan, then the next moment being utterly disgusted with him. There were parts of me that wanted him so bad no matter what and then the conflicting parts of me that refused to give in and let him have me in that way. I didn’t know for sure if that was my own personal feelings, the “me” that wanted to protect myself from guys like him. Or if it was her – Hera - knowing what he was capable of doing to our heart and trying to resist it in order to not get hurt this time around.

Lincoln was certainly right about one thing; this was a second chance for all of us. That meant we didn’t have to do it the way it was done last time around. Especially not with the modern influence our Godly counterparts would have with us being able to keep our consciousness. That meant that maybe Hera and I stood a chance against Aidan and Zeus, maybe we could turn him around and not end up spending a second eternity with a guy perpetually hurting us.

Something deep inside me made me laugh at this idea. I suddenly thought how stupid that was; if he could change he would’ve the first time around. But, if that were true he wouldn’t have defended me, another voice reasoned.

But Aidan hadn’t defended me, had he? Earlier, Cronos had been talking about taking the throne from Zeus and having the prize that went with it. What would the prize be? Royce hadn’t told me much at all about it himself. I remembered Lincoln had also said he preferred his to be broken in by him and… Oh.

Inexplicable anger surged through me at the idea of being referred to as a prize amongst the two men. Lincoln had also made a dig about how I supposedly whored myself to Hunter. Lincoln wanted to take me for himself without knowing I was sloppy seconds from Hunter. Aidan had told him I wasn’t available… I was suddenly swarmed with more questions, wanting desperately to find Aidan now and explain myself to him.

I didn’t want him to believe the lies that Hunter and Charlotte were spreading about me. I wanted him to see for himself what a vicious bitch Charlotte was.

Some delusional thought proceeded to occur to me: I hoped that maybe he would see the light and choose me over her. I could hardly think he would choose her anymore anyways considering the way he had stormed out of the room and left her unless whatever she had said had been a carefully considered choice of words in order to make him leave.

I wouldn’t put it past her. Hell, she might’ve even put the thought into his mind. I needed to be extra careful with her; no doubt everyone thinking I was a slut had something to do with her mind tricks.

Charlotte always seemed to be one step ahead of me and I had to wonder if that had anything to do with how in tune to her Goddess she was. I was open now to Hera, ready to receive her in a full committal and yet she still carefully alluded me. Perhaps I had rejected her for so long she had moved onto someone else.

Then again all those times when I had seemed to lose control of myself, in retrospect, they were a pure reflection of Hera: when I threw Aidan across the room, wanting to make him jealous, trying to get back at Charlotte, my temperamental emotions…

It just wasn’t me, or if they were they certainly didn’t come up as back to back as they had in the last few days. But I knew, deep down, they were very characteristic of the volatile Queen of the Gods.

Her fellow Gods had also despised Hera; she was distrusted and unwelcome. I didn’t need to have read Greek Mythology to know that, most modern interpretations of the story turned her into the bad guy. Those were certainly two things I had been feeling around the other Gods. But could I live with feeling those things for the rest of my eternal existence? Maybe if I had one person, Aidan, on my side.

The more I thought about it the more I found myself wandering through the looping hallways looking for him. I had hoped that maybe my concentrating on him as much as I was would finally lead me to him. But as per usual I found myself pacing in confusing circles, absolutely lost.

I decided to cut through a door hoping that it might pull me from the pattern I had fallen into and launched myself into a new room. It was much darker than the hallway and it took me a moment, standing there, to allow my eyes to adjust and take in the room.

It was laid out quite similar to the room I had previously been in with everyone else if not for the fact it was darkened completely and solely lit by candles. There were still cushions strewn about the floor for comfort but no one was on them.

I wondered why I had been brought here, my eyes scanning the room for some kind of hint. Out of the darkness a figure stepped and at first I didn’t recognise him.

“Savannah.” His voice was recognisable however, the distinct English accent curling through the air toward me.

“Hey Griffin… Dark enough for you?” I teased, making it easier to mask my discomfort that way. He moved closer, allowing the candlelight to linger on his face.

“I like the darkness, something comforting about it like nothing can get you if it can’t see you.” I nodded as though I understood but found myself wondering what he could possibly be hiding from. Despite my attempt to search out Aidan it seemed as though my subconscious had been looking for a place to hide and had brought me here – Griffin’s lair, for a lack of a better word.

“You’re Hades.” I said suddenly, the surprise jolting me as recognition seared through me. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it before but now it was suddenly obvious to me. He nodded his head, mostly grimacing before verbally agreeing.

“Yeah, unfortunately. Some luck I have…” He looked down at his feet and back up at me smiling sadly. He felt like an outcast just as I did and I suddenly wanted to hug him. I wanted to tell him it was okay so long as we had each other’s back.

“Are you hiding from the others too then?” He paused, “because of what everyone’s saying?”

“I didn’t sleep with him.” I said firmly, a frown creasing my brow.

He shook his head at me, “no, I never assumed you did. It’s clear to see that Charlotte and Hunter have a separate agenda. Unfortunately it seems you have become a crucial piece in it all. I don’t even think other people know they’ve been hooking up behind everyone’s back.”

“They have?” I asked in surprise.

Griffin nodded his head, “they come here... They don’t know that this is my domain.”

I felt my nose curl in disgust, trying not to judge him for admitting that he basically watched them do the nasty.

Going back to his previous statement, I changed the subject: “I’m not going to be a pawn anymore. They think I’m letting them use me but I have a few tricks of my own up my sleeve.”

This made Griffin laugh, regarding me in a strange way before he gave me an awkward little smile.

“Sounds like you’ve figured out who your Goddess is.” I nodded, pride ballooning my chest. All or nothing, that’s how my mother described my personality. Once I set my mind to something there was no swaying it. The only possible exception being Aidan but I didn’t even know where to start with him.

I’d always seen the world in blacks and whites, perfect and imperfect. So it was no surprise that I had gone from denying every aspect of Hera within me, to wholeheartedly embracing the Queen Goddess in a matter of minutes. Nothing was ever half-assed with me.

“We all wondered how long it would take you…” Griffin said absently, turning toward the cushions and slipping down onto one. I took this as an invitation to join him, and whether I was right or not I slipped down not far from him.

“Did everyone know?” I wondered aloud. Griffin nodded, picking at the fringe corner of one of the pillows.

“Yeah, there weren’t many choices for you to choose from by the time you’d gotten here.” He looked up at me briefly before looking back down at the cushion, “most of the minor Goddesses were taken, Artemis and Demeter still up for grabs along with Hera of course. But then Renae came, and all she talks about is her daughter, so we knew she had to be Demeter and you’re far too...” He took a moment to search for the right words but I assumed nothing appropriate came to mind as he lamely finished: “you, to be Artemis.”

I wondered what that meant but resolved it was probably best not to ask, considering I might not like the answer.

“So this was something everyone talked about?”

“Yes, it was very much a hot topic. I mean, I didn’t really talk to anyone about it but… I could overhear things and it is all people seemed to talk about. You being Aidan’s consort and Charlotte dating him… The triangle is about as steamy and as close to television drama as everyone can get.” I laughed, nodding in agreement. I did get the impression everything was hyper dramatic in some bid to make real life as entertaining as television would be if we were home.

“Bit like we’re starring in our own soap opera, huh?” Griffin laughed and nodded in agreement.

“Definitely, and I don’t think Charlotte likes being who she is, so she’s…” He trailed off, his eyes watching me for my reaction and I realised he was trying to be sensitive to my feelings.

I shook my head, “it’s fine… Maybe it’s best if I let her think she’s won.” I thought aloud, mulling over what I was going to do, if I was even going to do anything.

When I recalled the things she had said in front of everyone I felt my cheeks burning and I had to clear my thoughts to keep the tears at bay once more. Griffin was still watching me intently throughout this and his expression was very dark, pensive but bordering on angry.

“I can’t believe everyone believed her.” I said finally, hoping that maybe that anger was directed at Charlotte for the things she’d done and the lies she’d said.

“I don’t believe it.” He said rather quickly, offering me what I’m sure he hoped was a comforting smile. “You don’t really seem like that kind of girl. I’ve always thought you had the dignity required of a Queen. Others must see that too.” I flushed again, but this time it was due to modesty and a small smile spread over my features.

“Thanks. It isn’t true. I mean it was going to happen… And maybe in another life it would’ve but something about the whole situation had felt wrong to me. I forced him – literally – to leave. I suppose his anger at being rejected might have led him to lie to Charlotte in the first place giving her the fuel she needed for her fire.” This explanation, of course, gave Hunter the benefit of the doubt. But I knew he was up to something otherwise he would not have sided with Lincoln like he had.

“Do you hear a lot Griffin?” I asked, turning to face him once more.

He nodded slightly, “I’m not exactly welcome with the others, a bit like yourself…” He said with another smile before continuing, “but because of who I am I still get invited to things and I just bounce around like a fly on the wall, listening to the conversations.”

I felt sad for him, sad because I hoped everyone wasn’t rejecting him since he was Hades. But he was right; in a way, we were kindred spirits. Something about him kept everyone at a distance in order to protect himself; it was the self-inflicted cause of his ostracism. I knew how that felt, and I also knew how it felt to walk into a room and feel like I just didn’t belong. More or less, it seemed to happen on a daily basis now that I was in Olympus.

“You know, just because you’re Hades doesn’t mean it has to be the same as it used to be…” I reached out, my hand falling to his knee in comfort. His eyes fell to it, watching it for a moment with bated breath and then looked up at me as he nodded.

“I know, but I also don’t think Griffin belongs with these people either.”

I agreed, “yeah, sometimes I wonder about Savannah too. I don’t think Atlas considered social class or history when he sent those souls out into the world. Some managed to find the rich and beautiful and one of them got… me.”

“I think you’re beautiful.” He said quickly, another flush rising to my cheeks as I smiled at him.

“Thanks, that’s really sweet.”

“I mean it though. The very first time I saw you I thought you were the most beautiful woman in that room. Charlotte and Nicola both have nothing on you. Their beauty is fake, but yours is natural.” He seemed to stammer on; unable to stop himself once he unleashed the flood of his thoughts. With each word I grew redder until it felt like my face was going to melt off. “If there’s anything… you ever need. Just, say the word. I’d do whatever I need to.”

I considered his offer silently for a minute before looking back at him, “could you take my mind off of everything for one night, maybe help me enjoy our newfound immortality? It would be nice to be worry-free for a change. Might even help clear my head and figure out what I’m going to do.” It seemed I was asking too much because Griffin’s face screwed up slightly and I thought about retracting the request before he smiled for me.

“Sure, I think I can do that. Did you know there’s a club here?” He smiled, a little more confidently than before.

“Really? Like an actual club with alcohol and music and dancing?”

Laughing, he nodded, “yeah, like an actual club. If you think it, it shall appear right?”

“Club Styx. Where souls go to purge themselves.”

That was an eerie way of putting it. Why did Griffin associate drinking and partying as a purge? What exactly did he need to expel from himself? I sat there for a moment, regarding him silently and wondering about his history. It couldn’t have just been the union of Hades’ soul that created this sad boy. There was something else, something I just couldn’t put my finger on.