Of Another Dimension (31 page)

I set my cup down in between us on the seat.

"I don't think she'd planned on having him around for much longer..."

"Oh
, my god," my voice quavered, my free hand coming up to cover my mouth.

She was going to kill him herself!

I just know it.

My Kieve... my loveable, sweet
, smiling Kieve...

Kieve
, who would do just about anything for someone he loves.

...and she would have killed him if she'd been given the chance.

All for the sake of perfection.

Her own self perceived form of perfection.

The female is completely insane!

I wanted to rage.

Wanted to cry.

I want to hug the shit out of each of them and play target practice with their mother, lop off her tail bone, see how she likes it.

"I never told anyone what she did to me," he admitted.

"Why are you telling
me
?"

He didn't answer me and I let it drop, unwilling to push him about it.

Tugging me towards him, he lifted me onto his lap, setting my cup down at his feet.

He let out a deep sigh as he rested his cheek on my head.

"I did to you, what she did to me, for entirely different reasons of course, but it's still wrong, just the same." Closing his eyes briefly, he wrapped his arms around me.

"You didn't.
.." I started.

He cupped his hand over my mouth.

"I was scared. I was afraid to let myself care for you, feel the things I feel for you, with you, around you and it scared me. You frighten me," he whispered in my ear.

He nuzzled along my temple, humming as he took in a lungful of my scent.

"Mother did what she did because she was scared too. Frightened of us. Afraid of what it would mean for her. Too worried about what others would think and it poisoned her. Made her sick with her desire for perfection. Something she knew we couldn't give her and would never truly possess. Not in her eyes."

He kissed my forehead and leaned down to touch our foreheads together.

"I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you, miquatka, the things I've said."

I got his hand pried loose enough from my mouth to talk.

"You can't compare you to
her
! It's not the same!" I squirmed in his lap, trying to get up.

"No, but in a wa
y, it's probably worse," he murmured miserably, hugging me to his chest.

"Bull shit!" I shouted, "How can yo
u even say that? She was a self-centered hag who abused and tortured her children! She deserves to rot in the fiery pits of hell! You were just being stupid because you're afraid to let anyone else in, let yourself care, make yourself vulnerable like you did with your own mother. The woman who is supposed to love you no matter what and keep you safe from the bad guys! Not
be
the bad guy!"

He pulled away from me enough to see my face clearly.

"It doesn't make it okay or anything, just so you know, the way you've been acting and treating me, but it helps a little that you explained some things and said you were sorry,” I cleared my throat, “and it sounds like you mean it. You've obviously had time to think about it and regret it."

There was a big ‘but’ hidden in there, but it didn’t need to be said, he
knows.

Because, I mean, really, i
f that Sodraden thinks he's off the hook with me that quickly with a gut spilling session and an apology, he's lost his mind!

I'd never point it out to him, but he's played the Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde thing with me before and it
’s made me a little gun shy with him now.

I felt his fingers at the base of my back as he deftly removed my braid, fanning my hair out around me as he quietly regarded me.

"You have beautiful hair, miquatka," he murmured quietly, running his fingers through the silky strands. "And your eyes have always made me think of the water in our seas. You say your oceans are the bluest of blues, but ours are the brightest of greens. They shimmer with yellow amber, just like your eyes, when the sun hits the rippling waves just right."

"You're kind of changing the subject. I refuse to be side tracked
, evil eyes, besides... I don't know what to say," I mumbled awkwardly, uncomfortable with his suddenly open demeanor and out of the blue compliments.

It's a bit much to go from the hater of before to the admirer he's presenting now.

"Don't say anything," he said quietly, pulling my head against his chest, "just let me hold you."

I let my ear rest over his heart, following the 'thump', 'thump
', 'thump', of his steady heartbeat.

"Are you
going to hate me again tomorrow?" I asked frankly, "Because I don't know if I can handle the teeter tottering anymore."

"I could never hate you, miquatka. Even though I've pretended otherwise."

"Could have fooled me," I snapped and slapped my hand over my mouth, appalled at myself.

What the heck?!

This... erm... whatever it is he's doing... is a good thing! Don't fudge it up! He came to you, missy, be nice!
I chastised myself.

You've missed him
, Lil! Don't piss him off again! He might shun you all over again! Where will that leave you?
the little voice in my head bellowed.

He laughed, a good, happy laugh and I relaxed a little, not realizing I'd tensed up so much in preparation for his usual tongue lashing or quick quip.

"I've missed you, my mate," he sighed gratefully and hauled me up higher, burying his face in my neck.

"I uh... I find it kind of hard to believe you've suddenly had a personality transplant, so I'm just going to go ahead and hang your good mood for you, for the sake of my own sanity," I candidly intervened,
muffling a gasp, "So, why don't you start off by telling me what prompted you to do all this."

He stopped nuzzling me with his nose and began feathering kisses over the area, generously dotting my sensitive flesh with little nips and pecks, followed by the occasional lick.

I couldn’t stifle my shiver.

"I want you. I've always wanted you. These past few weeks without you has been the worst weeks of my life," he breathed against my skin, girding himself
, it seemed. "I know I said horrible things to you and I put you down. I never meant any of them, not a one. I was trying to put you in with my mother, fit you in with her and be done with you. I know I screwed up by bringing Teila here. I'll never be able to fix it and I'll always regret it."

"So
, why did you do it?"

"I'd already sent for her before Kieve came home with you. It was right after that first day I found you and thought you were trying to steal Chub. You got away from me and I was enraged. Every night after that
… I dreamed of you and every day you filled my thoughts... It was maddening how quickly this pale, long haired creature had taken over my thoughts, my being. I thought if I mated to a Sodraden female it would go away and I could have some peace."

"How did that
work out for ya?"

I snorted at myself.

Sarcasm, thy name is Lil.

"It blew
up in my face. Wouldn't you say?" he muttered dryly, self-deprecatingly.

I snorted and he started stroking me gently with his hands, up and down my back, soothing circles that had me turning into a puddle of warm goo.

God, that feels good...
I thought distractedly.

"Then one day
, my little brother comes home with his new mate, happier than I've ever seen him in his life and it’s the stubborn, fiery temptress that escaped me into the forest. I was crushed at the thought that you weren't swamped with thoughts and dreams of me too, when I was practically haunted by you. That you could replace me so quickly, making Kieve so completely content when I felt raw and restless... chafed. Add to that, it was too late to back out from Teila since she was already making her way here and I was... well… you know what I was like."

"Why are you doing this now? Why now? I'm still a little fuzzy on this
, evil eyes."

"I want a chance with you. A real chance. No going around to try
and seduce you when my brothers are away. No mooning over you from afar while you shower your attentions on them. I want you and me and a real chance. Do you think I could have one, miquatka? That you'd have room for one more?" he asked earnestly.

"Can I think about it?" I asked into the silence that followed.

"Of course," he agreed quickly.

…
almost
too
quickly...

"Can we sit like this for a while?"

"If that's alright with you." He slumped down in the swing, taking me with him, leaning back lazily, like all the black clouds that usually follow him around had decided to take a hike.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"If you wish," he agreed quietly, not opening his eyes.

"How did you hanky panky without anyone seeing your tail? I mean
, it’s kind of obvious..." I trailed off.

He gave me a sexy grin, his eyes opening to slits as he wiggled his brows at me teasingly.

"You don't have to take off your pants to have a quick fuck, miquatka. All you have to do is whip it out, use it and put it away."

"Well…" I blinked
at him, "That's one way of putting it. Crude, but sure, okay. I could see that."

Talk about brash.

...I did ask...

"Did you use protection when you man whored it up with your conquests? Didn't you have any real relationships?"

"What is protection? Protection from what?" he asked, puzzled.

"Condoms... to prevent disease and pregnancy. Ya know, the clap and babies," I said slowly.

"You are my only relationship. We can't get a babe on anyone but our mate. You have to mate a female first to get her pregnant as well and we don't have any sexual diseases," he said, shrugging. "Isn't that how matings work for you?"

"Uh, no. We can have a baby with anyone, it just takes a key in a hole and you've got a bun in the oven. We don't have matings, we have marriages. They aren't always forever
, though. Just ask my mother. She left us when I was ten."

He scowled at the thought.

"I do not think I would like your world very much," he grumbled.

"Probably not," I agreed and smiled at him.

My worries about him with another female surfaced and the unsightly green eyed monster reared its ugly head.

"You haven't b
een sleeping with Teila again, have you? Sieren and Kieve said you'd been spending a lot of time at someone else's farm. Were you?" I gave him a hard stare.

A smile lit up his whole face, little dimples popping out of his brilliant smile.

I balked inwardly at that.

"Are you jealous, miqua
tka?" he chuckled, laughing outright when I glared at him for mocking me and tried to get out of his arms.

"Screw you," I huffed, "I am not jealous of
her
. You know what, you think this is so funny? Why don't you go boink every available female! See if I care!" I ranted.

"Calm yourself, miquatka. Let me explain," he coaxed,
holding me tight, his arms banding around me heavily, "I just assumed you knew and the vehemence of your jeal... I mean,
reaction
, surprised me, that's all."

He's sounding a little
too
pleased with himself.

I don't like it
, I pouted.

Bet he wouldn't look so smug if I bopped him on the nose or sicked Chub on him.

Hmph!

Hmmm...

Where is my little lumpy babe?

Sensing my distraction, he wrapped his fist around my hair, tugging me towards him, taking my lips, conquering them with his as his smooth, warm lips took mine.

He kept up his sensual assault, breaking it only after I'd completely given myself over to it, straddling his waist, nails digging into his shoulders as he gripped my ass and ground us together, dry humping through all those layers of clothes.

"I never had sex with Teila and you are the only female I have ever allowed myself to share a bed with. A 'sleep over' as you like to call it
. Any female I’ve ever bedded before was just a fuck. I am mated to
you
now. I can only have sex with
you
. If I tried with anyone else, I wouldn't be able to. My body will only recognize you from now on. I am yours, miquatka, as much as I feel you are mine."

"You mean
… you can't... you... you have limp dick with other females now?" I blurted, shocked at the revelation.