Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (24 page)

Chapter Nineteen

The week went by slowly, at a torturous pace. Logan complied with my request and didn’t contact me, but instead of giving me relief, I became obsessed with wondering if he was with Kristina. I spoke to Mack a few times, but I wanted to keep some distance between us. After his confession about his feelings for me, I didn’t want to do anything to encourage him.

The days were almost tolerable since I had work to occupy me again, but the nights were the hardest. It didn’t help that Emily was swamped with work so she had practically no free time.

When my mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of Logan, I found myself trying to pick apart Cassie’s letter. I had written down as much of it as I could from memory, and I spent hours trying to figure out what exactly she had meant by her words.

The weather had turned even colder now that it was December, and I found myself dreading Christmas. My father was back from his vacation in Florida and I had talked to him on the phone. He sounded so happy that I couldn’t bring myself to tell him everything that had happened. I loved my father, and I knew he would do anything for me, but our relationship had never been close. He mentioned that he was thinking about going to his girlfriend’s family’s house in Indiana for Christmas and wanted to know if I would join them. I had only met his girlfriend a few times, and while I liked her, the last thing I wanted to do was spend the holiday with her extended family. But I didn’t want my reluctance to stop him from spending it with her and her family. He had spent most of his life being a single father with no partner to share his life with. Now that he had found someone, he deserved to have as much happiness in his life as possible.

I lied and told him that I was spending Christmas with Logan. The prospect of spending it alone made me feel glum, but maybe it was for the best. The way I was feeling lately, I doubted I would be in the mood to celebrate.

It was Friday when Emily called. I had just sent my article to my boss, and was wondering what I would do with myself for the rest of the day.

“Hi, stranger,” I said, happy to hear from her. I was hoping she would be able to hang out tonight. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and missed her easy company.

“Guess what?” she exclaimed excitedly. She continued before I had a chance to answer. “Sylvia’s decided to go ahead and open the New York office, and she wants me to help her. I’m moving to New York City!”

I wanted to be excited for her, but I felt a pang of sadness. What would I do without Emily? I gave myself a mental shake. I needed to be a good friend and be happy for her, even if I had to fake it.

“That’s amazing, Emily,” I said enthusiastically. “If anyone deserves this opportunity, it’s you.”

“I thought she was all talk when she mentioned opening a New York office. I had no idea she was really putting the wheels in motion. She’s already booked a few clients there. She wants me to leave tomorrow and stay at a hotel to get started right away. She’s actually paying for movers to pack up my stuff and bring it to New York. She’s even going to pay rent for an apartment for me in New York for the first six months! I just have to find one.”

My stomach dropped. Tomorrow? She was leaving tomorrow?

“Wow, I’m surprised she’s shelling out all of that. She must have finally realized what a rock star employee you are.” I kept my tone upbeat, although I felt like crying.

Emily sighed contentedly. “All that time slaving away for her and putting up with her outrageous demands actually paid off. I can’t believe it.”

“I’m so happy for you but I have to admit I’m sad to see you go. And so soon.”

Emily’s voice turned wistful. “I know. That’s one of the sucky things about it. What am I going to do without my partner in crime?” Her tone turned gloomy. “Another sucky thing is that I can’t take Lola. I can’t have her living a hotel room while I’m working, and I have no idea if I’ll be able to find an apartment that’ll accept dogs.” Her voice became pleading. “Would you consider taking her?”

I had always wanted a dog but had hesitated because they took so much work. But I couldn’t imagine anyone else taking Lola, let alone her being dropped off at a shelter. I had never felt so alone with Logan out of my life and Emily moving. It would be nice to have a loyal companion.

“You owe me,” I vowed, but my voice was cheerful. “I couldn’t let that sweet dog go to anyone else.”

“You’re awesome!” Emily squealed, sounding ecstatic. “I was so worried about what I would do with Lola. You’ve taken a load off my mind. Can I drop her off tomorrow on the way to the airport? I would do it tonight but I have so much to do before I leave.”

I agreed, and we ended the call since Emily had to pack and get ready to leave. My mood worsened as the night went on. Then Mack called to tell me he was heading back to L.A. tomorrow. I hadn’t seen him since the incident at the Half Pitcher. Ever since he had told me about his feelings, I didn’t know how to be around him anymore, but now that he was going back to L.A., my heart sank. It was just one more person leaving me behind.

I desperately wanted to ask him if Kristina was still in town, but I didn’t want to sound pathetic. We made promises to keep in touch, although I was pretty sure they were just polite words.

I spent the rest of the night in a dismal mood. I decided the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. I took a few sleeping pills and went to bed, grateful when I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I was only half-conscious when I registered a sound. I groggily looked at my alarm clock and saw I had been asleep for almost four hours. I heard the sound again and I was instantly awake and alert. I held my breath as fear shot through me. What was that? Was someone in my apartment?

I frantically looked around my dark bedroom for something I could use as a weapon, but there was nothing. I had stupidly left my cell phone in the living room so I had no way to call 9-1-1.

I heard the sound again. It was a shuffling noise, like someone was flipping through papers. I got out of bed as quietly as possible. I couldn’t think of anything to do besides go to the bathroom and barricade myself in there. Before I could take more than a couple of steps, my bedroom door flew open and the lights were switched on.

I squinted against the sudden light, putting my arm up to block it out and try to get my bearings. The blood drained from my face when I saw Kristina standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I stared at the gun in her hand that was pointed directly at me.

“Going somewhere?” she jeered. She waved her gun. “Get back on the bed.” She glared when I just stood there. “Hurry up, unless you want me to blow your brains out.”

This couldn’t really be happening. This had to be a dream. Things like this didn’t happen in real life.

I gingerly sat back down on the bed, afraid to make any sudden movements that would agitate her. Kristina’s eyes glittered with hatred as she watched me.

“What the fuck is so special about you?” she spat out. “Why the hell is Logan so obsessed with being with you?” She laughed, the sound ugly and harsh. “Even when he fucking loses his memory and doesn’t know who you are, he still wants to be with you!”

“Logan and I are no longer together,” I said, my voice trembling. “You can have him.”

“How kind of you,” she said sarcastically. Her face twisted as her voice rose. “The problem is
he
doesn’t want me. You’ve somehow brainwashed him to believe that he needs you to be happy.”

“Kristina, please put the gun down before you do something you’ll regret. Your life will be ruined if you go through with whatever you’re planning.”

“My life is already ruined,” she hissed. Her expression turned sinister. “But if you don’t exist, he has no choice but to come back to me.”

My heart was in my throat as she approached me. I put out a hand in supplication. “Kristina, please. Don’t do this.”

“I’m not going to do anything. You are.” I didn’t understand her words, but before I could try to process what she meant, she was waving the gun again.

“Where are your sleeping pills?”

I swallowed audibly. “Why?”

Kristina grew angrier. “I have a gun pointed at you, and you have the gall to ask me
why
? Just tell me where the fuck your sleeping pills are.”

“In the bathroom,” I whispered. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be the end. My life couldn’t be over tonight.

“Go to the bathroom.” Her eyes narrowed. “And don’t even think about trying anything. I have no problems shooting you.”

I was shaking as I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I thought about slamming the door shut behind me but Kristina was too close. I scanned the bathroom, looking for something I could grab and hit her with, but there was nothing. I gasped when I felt the barrel of her gun push into me.

“Hurry up,” she snarled. “You’re starting to really piss me off with how slow you’re being.”

I opened the medicine cabinet and took out the bottle of sleeping pills.

“Hold it up so I can see the label.”

I did as Kristina asked, and she scanned the label, presumably making sure I wasn’t trying to trick her. She looked satisfied by what she saw.

“Take the whole bottle.”

I shook my head. Kristina was crazy if she thought I was going to help her to end my life. “No. You might as well shoot me because I’m not going to do it.”

She didn’t look sane as rage flashed across her face. “Listen, you selfish bitch. Either take the pills or get shot in the face.” The hot flash of fury was replaced by a calculated look. “You know, it’s not just your life at stake.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, dread coursing through my body.

Kristina smiled garishly. “I can come and go into Logan’s apartment any time I please. How do you think I got in the other night? Stupid, trusting Logan never changed his locks, and I still had the key from when we lived together. Conveniently he didn’t remember that little fact since he lost his memory.”

“So you did stage that whole thing,” I said, anger welling up inside me. “You’re sick.”

Kristina shrugged. “Whatever gets the job done.” She actually looked proud of herself. “You guys are so careless. Logan had a set of your keys just hanging in his foyer. He didn’t even notice when I took them.”

So that was how she had gotten into my apartment. As afraid as I was, it seemed like Kristina was willing to give me some answers, so I pressed for more.

“Were you two really engaged before Logan lost his memory?”

Kristina smirked. “Oh, you’re just dying to know, aren’t you? You can’t possibly believe that Logan would choose me over you.” She clenched her free hand into a fist. “You’ll just have to keep on wondering.” She grimaced. “Hurry up and take the pills. You’re just wasting time.”

I was terrified, but if Kristina wanted me dead, she would have to do it herself. Maybe she wouldn’t have the guts to shoot me.

That notion disappeared when she spoke, her voice low. “Don’t force me to hurt Logan. If I shoot you, he’ll know it’s foul play and sooner or later he would start to question me. So, if I shoot you, I’ll have to kill him too.” Her eyes glinted. “Maybe it’s better if you’re both dead, so you can never be together.”

Panic seized me. “You could never hurt him. You love him.”

Kristina laughed long and hard. “You stupid girl.” Her expression sobered, her gaze menacing. “I’d rather kill him than have him be alive and not love me. If he thinks you killed yourself, I’ll have a chance with him. But if you’re murdered, he’ll never rest until he finds the perpetrator. I’ll be forced to kill him, too.”

“Kristina, please,” I begged. I had no pride, as I not only begged for my life, but for Logan’s, as well. “Please don’t do this. You don’t want to do this. It’s not too late. Just leave and I won’t call the cops. I’ll pretend like it never happened.”

“You must think I’m an idiot. Hurry up and take the pills or I’ll go ahead and shoot you.”

My hands shook as I opened the pill bottle. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think I would be able to swallow the pills, but the thought of Logan being in danger terrified me. What the hell was I supposed to do?

“Hurry up!” Kristina screeched. She was getting more and more agitated. “If you don’t take the fucking pills in the next ten seconds, I’m blowing your brains out. Then I’m going to Logan’s apartment and shooting him in the head.”

I grabbed a glass from the bathroom counter and quickly filled it with water. I was shaking so hard that water sloshed out of the glass onto the floor. I dumped the pills out onto my hand and took a deep breath. My heart thudded as I raised my hand and put the pills in my mouth. I took a sip of the water and swallowed, wincing as the pills scraped my throat on the way down since there were so many of them.

What had I just done? Had I made the right decision? How could this be the end of my life?

Dozens of thoughts rushed into my head as my mind rebelled against what I had just done.

“Go lie down in bed.” Kristina waved the gun toward the bedroom. “Hurry up.”

I walked back into the bedroom and lay down, tears streaming down my face and soaking the pillow. I thought about my father. He would be devastated. He would never understand why I had seemingly taken my own life. My thoughts drifted to Logan, and pure anguish rushed through me. After all that we had been through with Cassie’s death, this seemed particularly cruel to him. Would he ever know that I did this to save his life?