Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (26 page)

Emily gave me an incredulous look. “Do you think I would leave with you in the hospital? I told Sylvia that it would have to wait.”

I was grateful for her loyalty, but I was still frustrated at both of them for doubting me. The nurse came in with a stern look on her face.

“Visiting hours are over. Time to leave.”

“I’m going to be staying the night,” Logan announced.

“Are you family?”

Logan hesitated before answering. “No, but she’s my fiancé.”

The nurse nodded her head and told him where he could find bedding to use for the chair. I looked at him in confusion when she left.

“Is there something I’m not remembering?” I asked.

Logan gave me a rueful look. “They only allow family members to stay the night, so I thought I’d stretch the truth a little bit.”

I didn’t comment. Emily promised that she would be back the next day before leaving for the night. Logan and I sat in silence for a while before either of us said anything.

“I didn’t write that note,” I finally said, my voice low. “I don’t feel that way. I love you, Logan.”

He took my hand in his, kissing it. “I love you, too, Maddie. We’ll get this all straightened out, I promise.”

As much as I wanted to push the issue of Kristina, I decided to let it lie until tomorrow. I was exhausted, every limb in my body heavy with fatigue. The TV was on, but I could barely pay attention as I fought to keep my eyes open. I lost the battle as my eyes fluttered closed and I slipped into a deep sleep.

Chapter Twenty-One

Maddie, wake up!

My eyes flew open, the voice reverberating through my head. It was dark and I struggled to get a sense of my surroundings. I realized I was in my hospital room but that didn’t give me any comfort. My heart was thudding as the scream I had heard echoed in my head. I could have sworn it was Cassie yelling at me to wake up.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my pulse. I was just on edge after everything that had happened. I was safe now.

I glanced down at the chair next to me to see Logan there, asleep. His presence automatically made me feel better, although he looked uncomfortable with his long body scrunched up in the small chair.

I heard a soft noise and my head shot up. Fear and adrenaline rushed through me when I saw a figure standing in my room by the doorway. My terror intensified when the figure moved closer and Kristina stepped into a shaft of moonlight. Her smile was sick and macabre.

“I bet you didn’t expect to see me again,” she whispered. “I always finish what I start.”

I saw the glint of her gun and swallowed past a hard knot of fear in my throat. I didn’t know what to do. Should I try to wake Logan? Would that just put him in danger too?

Kristina seemed to read my mind. “Don’t even think about screaming. The second Logan wakes up, he’s dead.”

“You’re going to kill both of us anyway,” I said, my voice trembling. “Why make it easier for you?”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she said, her mouth twisting. “I don’t want to hurt Logan. I’ll spare him if I can.” She lifted her other hand and I saw a syringe. “Just a shot of potassium chlorate and you’ll be gone. Logan can continue living, thinking you had a simple heart attack. Maybe your body couldn’t handle the overdose and shut down.” She shrugged. “Either way, he lives and you die.”

She sounded so cold and emotionless. Had she always been this evil and just hidden it well, or had she spiraled into some kind of mental illness?

“No,” I said, my voice forceful. “I’m not going to let you do it. Not again.”

“You stupid bitch,” she snarled, suddenly rushing towards me. “You don’t get a choice!”

She screamed in rage when Logan jumped up from his seat and tackled her, pinning her to the floor. Her body bucked in fury as she continued to scream.

“She’s ruining everything!” she ranted, struggling to break free from Logan. “Let me get rid of her! Then we can be happy!”

I squinted against the sudden light as a nurse rushed into my room, flipping the switch to turn on the light. Her mouth dropped open when she saw the spectacle in front of her. The rest was a blur. Security flew into my room and took over detaining Kristina while the police were called. She was still ranting and raving when they arrived and dragged her out in handcuffs. I was relieved she was gone, but then doctors and police officers filed in and out of my room, asking endless questions. Through it all, Logan stayed beside me, holding my hand and helping to answer questions when he could.

Dawn was breaking by the time everyone had cleared out, and then it was just me and Logan. He looked at me, his face full of regret.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. If I had, all of this could have been prevented.”

“It’s okay,” I said with a gentle smile. “It was a pretty crazy story. I’m not sure I would have believed it either if I hadn’t lived it. I’m just lucky that you were here with me and stopped her.”

Logan’s jaw tensed. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”

I laughed, feeling a weight lift. I finally felt safe again, now that Kristina was in custody. “Kristina’s no longer a threat so there’s no need to be worried.”

Logan didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push it. When Emily came by later in the day, she almost fell over from shock after we told her what happened. She was as apologetic as Logan for not believing me, but I reassured her that it was okay.

I was relieved to be released later in the afternoon, but instead of going home, Logan insisted that I go back to his apartment. I didn’t protest because truthfully, I didn’t want to let Logan out of my sight as well. We had been so close to losing everything, only to get another chance. I didn’t want anything jeopardizing it.

Mack called later in the day, and he was stunned when he found out what had happened. We promised to keep in touch, although I doubted we would.

Logan took the next couple of days off from work and we spent it holed up in his apartment. We wanted to be in our own little world, safe in the warm cocoon of his place. The only time we ventured out was Tuesday night to take Emily to the airport. She was finally leaving for New York, and it was a tearful goodbye with promises to visit soon. It was hard to see her go, but Logan being by my side made it much easier. I also felt connected to Emily since Lola was back at Logan’s apartment waiting for us to come home.

We picked up dinner on the way home from one of our favorite Italian restaurants. We had a cozy dinner in the living room, eating ridiculously large portions of fettuccine alfredo and pasta puttanesca, with way too much bread. When we were stuffed, we cleaned up and snuggled on the couch, content just to be in each other’s company. Lola sighed and laid down next to the coffee table. I wondered if she was missing Emily.

“It’s going to be Christmas soon,” Logan commented. “I assume we’re going to be spending it together.”

I smiled at him. “I’d like that.” I lapsed into silence, lost in my thoughts. So much had happened the past few weeks that it was hard to process it all. One thing that was still bothering me was the picture Kristina had shown us of Logan and her after their alleged engagement. But as much as it bothered me, there was no point in wallowing in doubt about it, because the Logan sitting next to me knew as much about it as I did.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“Just how happy I am to be here with you,” I answered, telling myself that was mostly true.

Logan jiggled his leg up and down nervously, which was unusual for him. One thing he had never lacked, both before and after his memory loss, was a sense of confidence. His fidgety behavior was uncharacteristic for him. I looked at him questioningly.

“Is something wrong?”

Logan smiled. “No, for once everything is right.” He paused before speaking again. “Maddie, I know you’ve been put through the wringer with everything that’s happened. I just want you to know that one thing you should never question is how much I love you.” He swallowed audibly. “I know I’ll love you forever, regardless of whether I regain my memory. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Shock went through me when he took a small box out of his pocket and shifted so that he was down on one knee in front of me. He opened the box to reveal a large glittering diamond ring that made my eyes widen in astonishment.

“Maddie, will you marry me? I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy.”

I gulped, wanting to shout
yes
, but I hesitated. The truth was, I didn’t know what Logan’s involvement with Kristina had been before the accident. As much as I wanted to believe nothing had happened between them, I couldn’t disregard that damning picture.

Logan’s expression of hopefulness fizzled out as I continued to sit there, staring at the ring and not saying anything.

“Should I take your silence as a no?” His voice was flat, devoid of his previous enthusiasm.

“No.” I quickly continued talking when I saw his face fall. “I mean, no, don’t take it as a refusal.” I sighed, feeling dejected by his proposal when I should be elated. But I couldn’t accept it, as much as I wanted to. “You don’t know what this means to me. You don’t know how much I want to say yes. But you’re missing large parts of your memory about Kristina. We’ve seen that she’s crazy and willing to do anything to be with you. Lying is nothing to her. But what about the picture of the two of you, with her wearing an engagement ring? What if you actually did ask her to marry you before you lost your memory?” I grimaced at the thought. Logan’s expression became more and more bleak as I spoke.

“I’m not doing this to hurt you,” I said earnestly. “I love you, Logan, and I want to marry you. But I can’t do that when there’s a possibility you were cheating on me with Kristina while you were in L.A.”

“So you
are
saying no.” Logan’s mouth twisted. “What if I never regain my memory? What then?”

I made a sound of frustration. “I don’t know. Can’t we just be happy being together, and take it day by day?”

Logan got up from the floor and sat back down on the couch, leaving a large space between us. He closed the ring box and threw it on the coffee table.

“Just forget I ever asked.”

My guilt over my hesitation was replaced by annoyance. How could he not understand that I just couldn’t blindly say yes?

“You’re not being fair. I’m not saying I don’t want to marry you. I’m just saying there’s no need to rush.”

Logan’s expression turned fierce. “I almost lost you, not once, but twice. Can you blame me for wanting to make things more permanent with marriage?” His eyes narrowed. “Unless there’s another reason that’s making you hesitate.”

I threw up my hands in frustration. “If you’re about to bring up Mack again, I’m seriously going to lose it. He’s
your
friend who just happened to be there for me when I needed it. It’s not my fault he developed feelings for me.”

I wanted to kick myself the moment the words came out of my mouth. I had never told Logan about Mack confessing his feelings for me because there was no reason to. All it would bring was more heartache and problems. Judging by Logan’s thunderous expression, Mack hadn’t told him either.

“When did he tell you this?” Logan demanded. His expression turned grim. “And why are you just now telling me about it?”

“He came over after the fight, to apologize.” I bit my lip. “He then admitted that he had feelings for me. I told him I didn’t reciprocate the feelings. That was it. It wasn’t a big deal.”

Logan’s expression was so hard it looked like it was etched out of granite. “That asshole. I knew I couldn’t trust him.”

I sighed. I had imagined countless times what it would be like for Logan to propose to me, but I had never imagined it being like this.

“Please, I don’t want to argue about Mack. He’s back in L.A. and has nothing to do with our lives.”

Logan looked like he wanted to push the subject, so I was relieved when he just leaned back into the couch, not saying anything else. I took his hand in mine, squeezing it.

“I’m not rejecting your proposal, I promise. Just give me some time. I’m feeling a little off-kilter by everything that’s happened.”

Logan didn’t look happy but he dropped the subject. Despite us not talking about it anymore, tension still hung heavy in the room. We made it an early night and went to bed after Logan took Lola out for a walk. I tried not to feel hurt when Logan didn’t cuddle me, let alone try anything else. I told myself my hesitation had just stung, and he needed time to get over it.

The next morning I woke up to find he had left for work without waking me. I didn’t know if it was out of consideration so I could sleep longer, or if he was still upset about last night.

I tried to go about my day as normally as possible. I spent most of it working on my article, interspersed with playing with Lola. I braved the cold to take her on a walk, reminding myself that this was why I had never gotten a dog.

I still hadn’t heard from Logan by late afternoon, which was unusual. We usually texted or talked on the phone, at least once during the day. I was tempted to text him, but I thought it was better to let him have his space.

I was relieved when I heard a key in the front door in the early evening. I had been afraid that Logan would work late as an excuse to avoid me. He didn’t look very cheerful when he walked through the door, but at least he was here. Lola bounded up to him and he leaned down to scratch her behind her ears, but didn’t say anything to me.

“Aren’t you supposed to say,
Honey, I’m home
when you walk through the door?” I joked, but Logan didn’t crack a smile. I sighed, telling myself not to get upset. It wouldn’t help matters.

“It’s been a long day,” he said, as way of an explanation for his morose mood. At least he was talking to me.

“Well, your day is about to get better. I made dinner.”

Logan raised an eyebrow in disbelief and I laughed. “Yes,
I
cooked. And it’s not a Western omelet. I figured if I can handle Thanksgiving dinner, I can handle a normal weeknight dinner.”

Logan smiled, the first crack in his stoic demeanor since he had walked through the door. “What are we having?”

“I thought I’d continue the Italian theme from last night, so I made lasagna.”

Logan’s eyes lit up, and I was relieved that he seemed to be relaxing into his normal self. I set the table while he changed out of his work clothes, heaping a pile of garlic bread onto a platter and setting it down between our two plates of lasagna.

“I could get used to this,” Logan said with a grin as he sat down at the table. He poured each of us a glass of wine from the bottle I had opened, and then we both dug in.