Off the Record (12 page)

I’m so screwed.

I have the vaguest memories of my mother. More like sharp flashes that I remember. I was still such a little boy when she died.

Sometimes, something will happen and it will bring forth a memory that I had forgotten about. It happened today when I was at the hospital with Kyle. It was when Ever placed a wet washcloth on his forehead, a move that I found to be ridiculously endearing. I was looking at her in marvel when a memory of my mother slammed into me. It was when I was sick...the flu I think. And I remembered her doing the same thing...placing a cold washcloth on my forehead and I remember it made me feel better. The memory was so strong, I swear I could smell her perfume.

When I had finally left Kyle, over an hour after Ever had left us, my first inclination when I saw her was to hug her. Then I imagined her soft body pressed to mine and I envisioned that hug turning into a kiss. And next thing I knew, I was obsessing about kissing that sweet mouth.

I take her out to lunch, and every time she takes a bite of food, I just stare at her lips and the way they move as she chews. I stare so hard at one point she asks me if she has something on her mouth.

I wish! Then I could lick it off.

I have to fight off the groan that almost pops out of my own mouth at the thought.

Ever breaks into said wicked thoughts. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to the hospital to see Kyle that first night?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was just doing something to look good for your article.”

“But I wouldn’t have thought that.”

“Wouldn’t you? You’re a distrustful person, Ever. Especially toward men. Tell me you wouldn’t have questioned my motives.”

Ever lowers her gaze to her salad and I can tell I’ve embarrassed her. And even though I was only speaking my mind, with no intent to hurt her feelings, I feel bad that I may have done just that.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “You’re right. You had no reason to trust me.”

I set my fork down and wipe my mouth. “Maybe we can start over. I’m Linc Caldwell. It’s nice to meet you.” I thrust my hand across the table to her.

She takes it and gives me a firm shake as her face lights up. “I’m Ever Montgomery. It’s nice to meet you, too.”

We both go back to eating and I try hard not to look at those luscious lips.

“So, how long have you been friends with Kyle?”

 “Probably about two months now. I come to the cancer ward a lot. Several of my teammates come, too. But I met Kyle a few months ago, and he’s...special. We hit it off and I’ve tried to visit him at least once a week.”

“Is he going to get better?”

My heart turns heavy. “His parents say his outlook isn’t good. But I’m holding out hope.”

Ever reaches across the table and takes my hand. It’s as soft as silk, and reassuring as it lightly grips mine. “I’ll add him to my nightly prayers.  I’ll add you, too, so that you have continued strength.”

I swallow hard. I’ve never had anyone say something like that to me and it warms me to the bone. It makes Ever so much more fascinating to me and the final dredges of anger I had been holding onto sort of melt away.

There is no telling why I have this sudden and deep interest with Ever. My feelings toward her have gone from an instant attraction, to anger, to vengeance, to amusement, to attraction and now fascination. In any other circumstance, if I was this attracted to a woman, I would be putting some moves on her.

But that’s not something I can do with Ever.

I’m not about to give her fodder for her article. Plus, she’s too distrustful. There’s no way she’d be receptive to me.

“Do you want some popcorn?”

I look behind me and Ever is standing there. She and I are getting ready to watch a movie in my living room. She has on a pair of sweatpants and a Duke t-shirt. She fucking looks amazing and I want to slap myself silly for even thinking that.

“I’m good,” I tell her. She heads back into the kitchen and I settle back into the couch cushions. I hope I don’t get sidetracked with every piece of popcorn she places between those full lips.

When she returns and gets settled on the other end of the couch, I flip through the movie channels. I suggest
Terminator 3
but she says no. She suggests one of the
Harry Potter
movies and I resoundingly say no. We finally agree on
Monster’s Ball
, mainly because she loves Halle Berry and said she heard she got an Oscar for this movie, and I think Billy Bob Thornton is a genius. But Halle Berry is hot, too.

The movie is intense. I glance across the couch at Ever at one point, and she has her hand clasped over her mouth when Billy Bob’s son kills himself. She gasps out loud, causing me to glance over at her again, when Halle’s son gets killed. I have a feeling that by the end of the movie, she might be in tears. That, at least, has my lustful thoughts toward Ever on hold.

What I wasn’t prepared for was an emotionally raw and bordering on pornographic sex scene between Billy Bob and Halle. Holy shit, but I’m uncomfortable with all of the slapping of skin and moans coming from the TV, and fuck if my imagination doesn’t run right toward Ever. Wondering what she would feel like beneath me and I feel my dick starting to get hard.

Son of a bitch.

I glance over at her and her face is flame red. She swallows hard once but doesn’t take her eyes off the screen. I wonder what she’s thinking right now, and if it’s anywhere near as dirty as what I’m thinking.

The scene goes on for what seems like forever, and then it’s finally over. I look again at Ever and she sneaks a glance at me.

“That was...intense,” she says.

“I get why Halle won an Oscar.”

The corners of her mouth lift up in a grin, and then we both bust out laughing. It eases the tension and we both return to watching the movie.

By the time we get to the scene where Billy Bob goes down on Halle, I don’t even bat an eye and I even laugh when Ever says, “Now that was brilliant acting”, referencing Halle’s orgasm.

I’ll have to admit, the movie was excellent but I’ll make sure we refrain from watching any other movies that have sex scenes in them. That almost bordered on painful.

“Want to watch something else?” I ask her.

“
Harry Potter
?” she asks playfully.

“I’m not watching
Harry Potter
with you. I’m not about to have you put that in print. How about
The Walking Dead
?”

“Sounds scary.”

“It’s a bit intense. Are you up for it?”

“Sure. But let me go to the bathroom first.”

I take the opportunity to get me some water and then I pull out my DVD set of
The Walking Dead
. I put in the first disc and then turn the lights off. If we are going to watch scary, then it’s gotta be fully scary.

When Ever returns, she doesn’t say anything about the lights but takes her seat back on the opposite end of the couch from me.

“Prepare to be scared,” I say ominously as I hit the Play button.

“If I have nightmares tonight, I’m so going to kick your ass.”

“You can always come crawl into bed with me.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them and I’m afraid she’ll take them the wrong way.

She just arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me and says, “In your dreams.”

Good. She knows I was just joking and not trying to come on to her.

Ten minutes into the first episode, and I hear, “Oh my God.”

I look over and Ever has her hand over her eyes and is peeking between her fingers at the TV. She looks at me and says, “How do you watch this stuff? I’m terrified.”

I pat the couch beside me. “Want to come cuddle and I’ll protect you? The zombies may bite but I don’t.”

I’m half joking, half not. There’s a part of me that wants her soft body pressed up next to me, and there’s a part of me that hopes she takes the joke part and shoots me down with a sarcastic comment. That’s the part that knows I’m playing with fire here, because my baser instincts are starting to take over. I want Ever, but it would be the worst possible move for me to make.

She looks at me, glances back at the TV—which has a particularly gruesome scene going on—then back to me. Then she stands from the couch, and for a split second, I think she’d going to leave. Instead, she crawls up beside me. I lift my arm and she scoots in closer, pulling her feet up and tucking them under her hip. My arm casually settles in over her shoulders.

The smell of her shampoo immediately assaults me. It’s that same strawberry-vanilla scent I had noticed before, and for some reason, the thought of strawberries has me thinking about her lips again.

This is such a bad idea.

I turn my attention back to the TV and try to pay attention. But I can’t. Ever’s body is warm against mine and her sweet smell is driving me crazy. Without thinking about it, I pick up a lock of her hair with the hand that’s resting over her shoulder and rub it. It’s so soft...just like her skin.

I glance down at her and she’s not looking at the TV. She’s staring down at her lap, her eyes half closed. For a minute, I think she’s falling asleep but then she says softly, “This isn’t going to work.”

Releasing her hair, I ask, “What’s not going to work?” My voice comes out raspy and I think it’s because my throat is so dry.

“Sitting so close together.”

I cautiously remove my arm from around her shoulders. She looks up to me and fuck me silly, I see desire in her eyes. I am so unprepared for that look to be coming from her, I have no words.

I’m practically struck stupid when she says, “I want to kiss you, Linc.”

Holy fuck a duck! I practically groan over her words. I’ve been fantasizing about kissing her all afternoon and evening, but in a million years I never thought she would want to kiss me back.

Then a thought strikes me. What if she’s setting me up? What if she says she wants to kiss me, to induce me to make a move on her? So that she can write that Linc Caldwell is the man-whore she claims me to be.

No way am I making a fucking move right now. I wait with my breath held to see what she’ll do. She stares at me for a few moments, those cornflower eyes unblinking. I still see desire there and a small kernel of hope flares inside of me that she truly does want me.

Then she raises up on her knees and my gut tightens. She lays her hands on my chest and leans toward me. Her eyes leave mine and travel down to my lips, and it takes all of my willpower not to crush her to me. As her lips near mine, I close my eyes in anticipation of what she’ll do.

At first, all I get is a whisper soft touch, and I’m not sure if it’s her breath or her lips that make contact with mine. She brings one hand to my face, and just rests it gently there. Her thumb smoothes along my cheekbone.

She places her mouth over my bottom lip and lightly kisses it. She moves to the corner of my mouth, and kisses there as well. All so light and soft, I can barely feel them. She lets out a soft sigh of pleasure and my dick throbs in response. She’s hardly kissed me but my body is reacting viciously to her.