Oklahoma kiss (25 page)

      
They stood, staring into the depths of each other's eyes. A warmth spread through her and she could feel herself surrendering to him totally. It was as if a magical wand had cast an enchanting spell that left her nearly mindless, that left her completely at his mercy.

      
His hands slowly reached inside the blanket and led a heated trail up her blouse front. He started with the bottom button, and each place where his hands lingered to slowly, sensually unfasten each tiny button, her stomach, her breasts, her neck, a tingling of excitement jolted through her. Moments, or was it hours later? he gently tugged the blouse from her shoulders and allowed it to fall into a crumpled heap atop the wet skirt.

      
Then slowly, so slowly, his hands cupped around her neck as he lowered his lips to hers. It was a gentle kiss at first but quickly grew more demanding as he tenderly traced the inner edges of her lips with his tongue before plunging deeper to explore the honeyed sweetness of her mouth.

      
This time, she did not keep her mouth closed to him. Instead, she sighed in sweet submission and slid her arms around his waist to cling to him. Her tongue timidly fenced with his until her courage and boldness grew. Then, she initiated darting attacks of her own. But it was Adam who was in control of their lovemaking.

      
His lips consumed her as nothing had ever done before. Blair moaned softly beneath the ravaging insistence of his tongue inside her mouth. A strange, thrilling shiver seemed to take hold of her, making her entire body shake as his hands slid away from her neck. One arm slowly encircled her waist, the other hand moved up to tangle in her wet hair.

      
Gasping, she tore her mouth from his and flung back her head to draw a deep, rasping breath. To her surprise and delight, his mouth blazed a trail of fiery kisses down her throat, lingering in the soft hollow with its heady fragrance and wildly leaping pulse.

      
Gingerly lifting her with his powerful arms, Adam lowered her onto the carpet of soft grass,

      
Blair's head was spinning dizzily from the honeyed sweetness rampaging through her veins. Her conscience told her this was wrong, that what they were doing was supposed to be shared by two people only after they had spoken vows before God. But how could love given so freely between a man and a woman be wrong? Although no actual words of love had been spoken, nevertheless, they had been declared. Silent vows had been pledged the moment when Adam first took her in his arms and she entered them willingly.

      
She felt a delicious languor steal over her as her arms wound around his neck and her fingers threaded passionately through his dark mane of hair.

      
Adam was hot with desire. With one hand he loosened the strings of her camisole, then pushed aside the lacy fabric. His eyes darkened and his breath caught in his throat at her loveliness. Her skin was not the stark white he'd seen on other women; instead, her breasts were the color of warm cream. He cupped one breast masterfully, his thumb flicking at the dusky nipple that hardened beneath his touch as though it had a will all its own, while his mouth paid homage to the other.

      
Startled, her eyes flew open and her entire body trembled when his mouth left her breast and trailed downwards to her taut, firm stomach, then on to the tiny crevice of her navel where his tongue flicked in and out. Someone moaned passionately—and Blair was surprised to discover the sound had come from her own lips.

      
She wanted to make love to him, to feel his muscular body, to seek, to explore, to know him as thoroughly as he was learning her, but she felt too timid, too shy, and she also knew there was a lifetime ahead for such sensual explorations.

      
Suddenly, he left the warm embrace of her arms and it felt as though she was no longer complete. There was a burning fire between her thighs that demanded to be extinguished, and Adam was the only man alive who could do it. "No, Adam, please, don't leave me," she murmured huskily.

      
"Hush, sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere." He quickly removed his clothing and, spreading her knees with his knee, he lowered himself onto her.

      
Blair tensed against the probing firmness of his masculinity, not from reluctance or fright, but from innocence.

      
Feeling her grow tense, he whispered hoarsely, "Don't be afraid, sweetheart . . ."

      
"I could never be afraid of you, Adam."

      
Knowing he could not wait much longer, Adam touched her velvet softness, stroking the sensitive folds until she knew a wanting, a desire for an end to these searing flames that tormented her.

      
For one brief, soul-shattering moment, Adam caught a glimpse of Paradise when he lowered himself into her. Stabbing, white-hot pain streaked through her when his masculinity broke her virginal barrier. Her sharp cry was abruptly cut off when his lips quickly covered hers. His tongue shot into her mouth, probing deeper and deeper into that crevice while his manhood slowly filled the other. He started moving again, short, gentle, rocking thrusts. His body screamed for release. He ached to plunge in deeply, to bury himself completely in her sweetness, but he drew from some inner strength and used restraint he did not know he possessed.

      
Finally, he realized Blair's moans were passionate mews of pleasure. It was only then that he raised his lips from hers and began to climb the road to the ultimate satisfaction. He felt her arms wrap
      
around him when his tempo increased. He plunged faster and faster. Nails suddenly bit into his flesh as Blair answered his desire with passionate thrusts of her own.

      
Then, their loins began to churn tumultuously, like a mass of swirling storm clouds. It was violent, intense, electrifying, then as brilliantly as lightning stabs across the sky, fulfillment poured forth, drenching their souls with satisfaction.

      
All was quiet for a moment, then their soft cries of joy mingled with the sound of lips tenderly touching each other.

      
Chapter 15

      
It seemed an eternity before Blair could sort through the chaos that had taken control of her emotions and calm the irregular beating of her heart. Now that some form of sanity had reclaimed her mind, doubts began to set in, to twist and turn and torture her. She found it beyond belief that she could have given herself so freely to a man who had not actually professed to loving her. He had not even told her that he wanted her, needed her. He had just opened his arms and she had gone into them willingly. What on earth possessed her to think just because he made love to her, he loved her?

      
Blair knew she loved him with all of her heart and soul, there was no denying that, but was her love returned? Had she unwittingly exposed her own vulnerability?

      
Now that she had given herself to Adam with such wild abandon, without commitments, without his declaration of love, without discussion of marriage, would he believe he could mold her like clay and do with her as he wanted instead of allowing her a voice in their future?

      
When they made love, had his body reacted out of true affection, or just raw passion? Had she merely been available to fill a hunger, to satisfy a raw, primitive need? And why couldn't she have had these doubts a lifetime ago? Why now when it was too late?

      
Oh, Adam, she silently pleaded. Just hold me close and tell me that you love me. That is all I want. Those three little words will reassure me more than anything else you could say or do. But please ... say them to me!

      
Feeling Blair stir beneath him, Adam moved from her, though he continued to hold her snugly in his arms. He trailed a path of undemanding kisses across her cheek. Sensing something was wrong, he drew back and studied her features carefully. Her eyes were firmly closed, and her chin trembled from the effort of not crying.

      
"Sweetheart, look at me," he commanded, gently guiding her face to mere inches from his. Blair opened her eyes but kept her lashes lowered. "Did I hurt you?" he asked softly.

      
"N-no."

      
"Are you embarrassed, or ashamed?" '

      
Blair averted her face, finding it too difficult tc look at him.
Why didn't he tell her he loved he
r? She began to shake violently "N-no . . . please, j-just hand me the blanket." Her skin flushed a dusky rose at the thought of her nakedness. If he didn't love her, her nudity seemed so . . . indecent now.

      
He wanted so fervently to take her back into his arms and make love to her again, but she was obviously too distressed to respond to any attempts at lovemaking. Swallowing his disappointment, he quickly slipped on his trousers and got the blanket for her. When he wrapped it around her shoulders he frowned when she recoiled slightly from his touch.

      
"You must be freezing, come on over here and sit by the fire and I'll add more wood." He shook the coffee pot. "It just about boiled dry, but there might be a cup left." He emptied the coffee pot into the cup and handed it to her. "It's a little strong, but you sit there and drink it while I’ll make another pot,"

      
Although Blair was slightly chilled, her violent shaking stemmed from her ragged emotions, but she did not protest or object to Adam’s ministrations. She wanted to give him every opportunity to speak the three little words she desperately longed to hear.

      
Adam walked over to the pond and filled the pot with water, grateful to be out of sight of her accusing eyes. He knew that was contradictory because Blair was doing everything to avoid looking at him—still, that's why he felt she was accusing him. She was beginning to worry him. Never before had he made love to a woman who behaved like this afterwards. But then, he'd never made love to a virgin before, and he'd never made love to the woman he adored. He saw how she sat huddled miserably under the blanket and his heart wrenched. It was time to put a stop to this nonsense right now.

      
Setting the water on to the fire to boil, he then knelt on one knelt beside Blair, and gently began stroking the back of her hair. He knew he could not touch her too intimately — not and keep his sanity. "Look, sweetheart, I know you must feel awkward or . . . embarrassed, but you shouldn't be. What happened between us has been happening between men and women since the beginning of time. It isn't anything to be ashamed of. It all fits into the order of things, it's a natural part of life."

      
Observing no reaction, he gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Blair, damn it . . ." Her expression stopped him stone cold. He stared forlornly into her shattered features. He saw the haunted expression in her eyes, the tears welling in them. The damp tracks down her cheeks testified she hadn't been able to contain all of them. Her lips were swollen and her cheeks were red-roughened from the scrape of his beard. She was frantically clutching the blanket as though afraid he would snatch it away and take her again.

      
"I'm sorry," he said softly, letting his hands fall away. Adam was not apologizing for making love to her, only that he was sorry for hurting her in any way.

      
I’m sorry.
Dear God in heaven, he couldn't say he loved her. He couldn't admit to feelings he did not have. She had given herself to him bodily and soul and he did not love her!

      
Clenching her hands into tight fists, Blair took a deep, shuddering breath. She had to pull herself together. Some gunmen notched their gun butts for each man they killed. She could suddenly visualize Adam doing the same to the trail of broken hearts he undoubtedly left behind him. She had too much pride to be added to his list of conquests.

      
"I'm sorry too, Adam," she spoke softly. "I have no idea what came over me. I don't know how I could have been so ... so reckless and . . . immoral." Her cheeks blazed from the memory of I responding to him so wantonly.

      
"There was nothing immoral about what we did.As I told you, sweetheart, lovemaking is a natural order of . . ."

      
"I know what you told me, Adam," Blair spoke a bit too curtly. "I agree with you ... it is the natural order, but only between the right two people. If we were not meant for each other, though, all of the trite little sayings and trying to ; justify our scandalous behavior will change nothing. I always assumed I would come to my husband on our wedding night, pure and innocent. Now that can never be. But I have to share the responsibility for what happened between us. I should have stopped it ... I simply . . . don't know what came over me." She laughed but it sounded bitter and harsh. "I know this sounds insane, but part of my regret is that in all likelihood, our friendship will never be the same." She closed her eyes and pulled the blanket more tightly around her. "If only we could forget this ever happened," she whispered sadly.

      
Adam felt as though he had been kicked in the stomach. The way she was talking, it sounded like she loved someone else. Who? That man back east who jilted her for her best friend? She had told him Albert hadn't meant anything to her, but apparently she'd had too much pride to admit her true feelings. Sometimes women didn't have much sense when it came to picking men.

      
He walked over to the pool, lit a cheroot, crammed his hands into his pockets, and stared at the water rushing over the falls. He felt like a fool, not by what Blair said, hell, she couldn't help how she felt. He thought it was ironic that the only woman he had ever cared for was in love with another man. If he could not have her, why torture himself by hanging around? His best bet was to go over to the horse, mount up and ride until he felt like stopping.