Oklahoma kiss (26 page)

      
He turned about on his heel and the sight of Blair stopped him cold. He was the type of man who only loved once in a lifetime, so how could he ride off without fighting for her? She might not love him now, but what about tomorrow? Or next week? Or next year? He'd be damned before he gave up so easily!

      
Then another thought crossed his mind. Striding urgently toward Blair, his steps slowed when he drew near. She was attempting to dry her clothes while still clutching the blanket tightly around her.

      
"Here, since it's my fault you fell in the pool, let me dry them for you." Taking each garment from her and giving them hardy shakes, he spread them over willow branches and quickly turned back to Blair. He placed his hands on his hips and shifted uneasily on his feet. "I don't claim to know much about such things, but I do know sometimes it takes only once to make a baby. I'm willing to do the honorable thing by you."

      
Blair's mind struggled in turmoil. There was no voice of wisdom telling her what to do, to explain the tempestuous depths into which she seemed to be spiraling without control. The man she wanted was within her grasp, all she had to do was reach out for him. But at what future costs? How long would it take for him to grow to hate her? It was with a heavy heart that Blair realized what she had to do. "Thank you, Adam, that is very sweet of you . . ."

      
"No, Blair, it isn't sweet!" he spat the word with
      
contempt. "I happen to have a conscience, I know when I’ve done wrong. There is nothing I can do to erase the past few hours—if there was, I would. So I’m more than willing to make it as right as I possibly can —and that is all I can do."

      
Fiery sparks flashed from her eyes. "You did not let me finish, Adam! I was about to add, I don't have much experience when it comes to men and women spending torrid afternoons together. It i seems to me, most men would walk away from such tawdry affairs without a twinge of regret."

      
"Well, I’m not most men! I have to look at myself every morning in the mirror when I shave."

      
Her voice softened along with her features, and all enmities were momentarily forgotten. "I know :you are not like most men. That's why even though I appreciate your offer—much more than you'll ever know —I feel I must refuse . . . unless it becomes necessary. God forbid, if there is a child, it shouldn't suffer because of us. But Adam, you know as well as I, we are so much alike. If we were trapped in a loveless marriage ... it would destroy us. So, please, let's not do anything hasty, let's just wait and see."

      
"Maybe you're right," he said slowly. He knew it would be hell on earth for him if there was a child. How could he ever live with Blair as she grew large with a baby, knowing she was yearning for another man? He didn't know if he could take such torture.

      
Raking his hand through his hair, he stared at her like a man possessed. "Blair, there is one other detail I want to make clear. Whatever you do, don't try to hide your pregnancy from me. I could never forgive a woman for that, not even you."

      
It was almost dark by the time they reached the Bar 4. Lamps had already been lit and warm, amber lights shone from the house and bunk-house. Muted voices and occasional laughter drifted out into the twilight and mingled with crickets, and the distant lowing of a cow.

      
Blair was too nervous to feel the peace that had settled over the Bar 4. Instead, she was like a coiled spring, tense with wondering what her family would do when they saw her. What would they say? Could they tell something had happened just by looking at her? Was her sin burned into her forehead like a scarlet letter?

      
"I’ll stable your mare for you," Adam offered as they dismounted and walked the horses into the barn.

      
"No, thank you, I’ll do it."

      
"I don't mind."

      
"I know, but . . . well, I dread going to the house." She tried to smile but it was a feeble attempt. "I have this strange idea that everybody will be able to tell what happened today just by looking at my face."

      
"Just act normal, it will be all right." Although he tried to reassure her, Adam had wondered the same thing. He had noticed whenever Blair was troubled, she was not too good at concealing her emotions.

      
"Maybe so, but I’d still rather not go in alone," she stated adamantly. She just knew one look from Warren and he would immediately sense something was wrong.

      
Adam knew when he would waste his breath to-argue further. "All right then, you put out their feed and water and I’ll unsaddle them."

      
"Adam, Miss Blair," Jake called from the doorway. "Warren sent me out here to put the horses up. Adam, he said he needed to see you right away."

      
"All right, thank you, Jake," Adam said without 'so much a tremor to his voice. He took Blair's arm, conscious of how badly she was trembling, and after they were out of hearing range of the barn, he said softly, "Take it easy now, Warren won't hurt you. Just remember, even if he suspects something ... my offer is still open." The tensing of his jaw revealed how much he dreaded facing Warren, too. "If he wants to stick a shotgun in my back and direct us to the nearest preacher, I’m willing to make an honest woman out of you."

      
"Hey, you two," Warren called from the porch. "I was about ready to send out a search party. I was beginning to think you had gotten lost."

      
"No." Adam shrugged nonchalantly. "We just rode farther than we thought. As I told Blair earlier, the two of you were definitely right. That's mighty rough country out there. I saw several places that reminded me of the Kiamichi wilderness, and you know how rugged that country is." Stepping up on the porch, he hit at some dust on his pants with his gloves. "Jake said you wanted to see me. Anything important?"

      
Realizing this was an excellent opportunity to avoid being questioned by Warren about the day's events, Blair hurried to the front door and glanced around. "Excuse me, gentlemen, it has been a long time since I've spent the day in a saddle and I'm tired . . . and I'll even admit to being a little sore. I’m going on inside and soak in a hot tub of water, then I plan on turning in early. Good night, Warren, Adam." she added softly.

      
Once inside the house, she pressed her ear to the door to listen.

      
Warren reached inside his vest pocket and handed Adam an envelope. "Tom Bastrop stopped by again today. Seems he was in town and overheard the postmistress mention your name while she was putting up the mail. He told her he knew you . . . and I suppose he thought he was saving you a trip into town by dropping it off here at the ranch —although, some folks might consider that being a bit too nosy."

      
He walked over to the porch railing, scratched his cheek and chuckled. "I think it was just an excuse, though, to come by and see if you and Blair did go riding today. This is the first time I've known him to be interested in a woman since Megan went back east ... I guess it's been five, maybe six years ago. Megan was his fiancee, and it's strange, I had forgotten her name until he mentioned it yesterday. She and her mother came out here for a visit before the wedding — don't know whether it was mama or Megan who hated it out here, but they high-tailed it back home within a month. Then yesterday when Tom mistook Blair for Megan —I suppose it was the way she had her hair pinned up on her head, or maybe even the way the light was shining on her, but Tom sure did a double-take. It wouldn't surprise me if he asks permission to come courting . . . and I'd hate that because I don't like the man. And I like it even less to think he might want to be my brother-in-law. Now, I know it's not any of my business, but if someone else was interested in Blair, then he ought to speak up . . . Adam, are you listening to me?" he asked when he turned around and saw Adam reading the letter from the

      
"Huh?" Adam glanced up.

      
Annoyance edged into Warren's voice, "Were you listening to me?"

      
"No, excuse me, I wasn't paying any attention. I was reading this letter from Judge Parker." He leaned against the doorframe and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "This puts a different slant on things."

      
"Anything that concerns me or the situation in this area?"

      
"Yeah. Seems the Chickasaw Indian Council has petitioned Judge Parker, requesting the presence of federal marshals until and for two months after the land is opened. He granted their request and put me in charge of it. He told me in this letter to use my own judgment as to where the marshal's office should be opened. From what Coy was saying the other day, Doughtery sounds as good a place as any."

      
Warren beamed his approval. "Good! That makes me feel better already! How many marshals is he sending?"

      
Adam gave him a lop-sided grin. "You're looking at him."

      
"Just you?"

      
"Yeah, but I can deputize some men if I need to."

      
They continued to talk, but Blair tuned away. She felt as if all of the blood had drained from her face. She had deliberately waited inside the hall in hopes of overhearing what Adam and Warren had to say, but this was the last thing she expected to hear.

      
Numbly, she made her way to the bathing room and built a fire in the small heater that was expressly used for heating bath water. Waiting only until the water was tepid, she poured it into the tub, refilled the kettle and set it back on the stove to heat. She quickly undressed and climbed into the rounded-back, brass tub. After a moment, she buried her face in her hands and wept silent tears.

      
She had sacrificed her virginity —and for what? It had all been for nothing. And the sad fact was, she had no one to blame but herself. Warren's plan had not been faulty. He certainly had never implied for her to seduce Adam in order to get him to stay. Nor had it been a conscious thought when she went so willingly into his arms. She had given herself to Adam because she loved him, and she thought he had loved her. Would she have surrendered so quickly if she had known he would be staying for several months? Still, nothing altered the fact that he did not love her. Although, if given time, he might have . . .

      
Perhaps this was her punishment. Perhaps this additional heartache was what she deserved.

      
Drying herself, she slipped on a robe and stumbled blindly to her bedroom. Lying across her bed, she closed her eyes and she could feel the roughness of the stubble of his beard against her skin. She could taste the masculine taste of his mouth as it had plundered hers with wild recklessness. She could once again feel the strength of him inside of her. Yet now she was left with a dark void she had no way to fill. It could never be. He didn't love her.

      
It took long hours of bitter recrimination before Blair could finally find sleep, and even that sleep led to vague and unpleasant dreams.

      
Chapter 16

      
"You seem to have something on your mind," Warren stated, watching as Adam paced about the porch, rubbing the back of his neck.

      
"I do, I’m thinking about going on into Doughtery tonight instead of waiting until the morning."

      
"I see," Warren said, settling back on the swing. "I thought there might be . . ."

      
"Might be what?" Adam asked, stopping in front of him.

      
He shrugged indifferently. "Oh, I don't know... I just had a feeling that you had something else on your mind."

      
There was a moment of silence as Adam studied him. "All right, Warren, if something is bothering you, spit it out. We've never minced words let's not start now."

      
Warren toyed with the tip of his cigar for a long time before he asked, "Today when Blair showed you part of the ranch . . . did something happen that you feel you ought to talk to me about? After all, we are friends and I think we should level with each other."

      
"Our friendship is one thing you don't have to remind me of," Adam said softly, walking to the railing and staring into the darkness.

      
Warren was suspicious of them, Adam thought, but why? How? Nothing out of the ordinary had been said. His making love to Blair played havoc with his conscience enough without having to dwell on how he betrayed his friend's trust— which he did —but he was more than willing to marry her. He had always believed the best way to rectify a wrong was to try to make it right. However, if Warren learned of their indiscretion, in all probability he would demand they marry immediately. Under the circumstances, he'd rather have the chance to make Blair forget that other man first.

      
He turned around abruptly. "Warren, would you have any objections if I came calling on Blair?"

      
"Come calling on . . . you mean you are interested in my little sister? Why, she's nothing but a little girl!" Warren pretended to sound incredulous, although this was what he had been hinting at just a short time ago.

      
"You ought to look again. She's not so little, she's a grown woman now —and, I might add, a very beautiful woman. You saw how Tom Bastrop acted when he saw her. So, tell me, do you have any objections?"