Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) (31 page)

I racked my brain trying to think of what could possibly make Grant happy and Zach not…nothing. Estelle…maybe. That had to be it. He’d been with her again. At Shasta, Grant slept with Claire and she told Grant about Zach and Estelle. Jealousy ran through my veins and before I could calm down, he was at my door opening it for me.

“How was detention?”

“Quiet. Bowman didn’t allow us to talk.” I rolled my eyes.

“Wow. I like Mr. Bowman.” He winked, smiled and shut the door behind me.

I didn’t want to admit to him I’d never been to our county courthouse—well, maybe once when my parents paid for their car tags. He seemed agitated and distracted and I had the feeling if he had the time to drop me off at home, he would have.  Once we arrived at the courthouse, Zach turned in his seat. “I won’t be long. Just leave the Jeep running and stay out here.”

I nodded. “Got it.”

I watched as he fed the meter then jogged indoors. I smiled watching him and marveled at how he was mine. I felt lucky and blessed. I knew most people had those feelings with their first crush…but this was so much more. He knew it and I knew it.

I opened his center console and rummaged through its contents not really looking for anything. Maybe snooping, but fortunately only found six CDs, a tube of Carmex, some napkins, and a straw. I closed it shifting my focus to the backseat. Immaculate except for a pair of sweat shorts on the seat, which I grabbed and smelled searching for the scent I loved then wished I hadn’t.              

The Jeep was hot and twenty-seven minutes had passed so I turned the key off. The meter was flashing so I plugged some more coins into the slot. Eighteen more minutes. Tired of waiting, I locked the door and went in. The warmth of indoors met me near the door and the massive metal detectors loomed in front of me. I laid my purse on the moving belt and walked through the detector. Probation was on the first floor so I moseyed around till I found the office. About twenty chairs filled the small room but only four of them were occupied. I sat in the one closest to the door. I fought hard not to make eye contact with the others wondering what they’d done to be on probation. Three men and a woman with a child all waited like me. A door opened and a tall man stepped to the door.

“Andre?”

My eyes darted to a middle-aged man who got up and met the guy at the door and went in. The room smelled funny…musty…not clean and after a while, it burned my nose. The door opened again.  Zach stepped out with a heavyset man. Zach’s eyes met mine and widened first with recognition then anger.

“Emma. I told you to wait in the car.”

“I’m sorry. I got worried. Are you done?” At the moment I asked, I saw the latex gloves on the man’s hands and a small plastic container in his other.

“Not yet,” Zach’s said his jaw tight.

The man two seats away snickered and I looked at him for the first time. He was smirking at me and his eyes narrowed roaming over me from head to toe. His clothes were dirty, and I saw grease spots on his jeans.

“I’ll be right back,” Zach clarified. “Don’t move.” And he was gone.

“
Thatcha boyfriend?” the man asked.

I nodded feeling an obligation to be nice.

“You can’t be but what….how old you?”

“Sixteen,” I lied watching the door Zach went out.

He rotated in his seat. “Ahh. To be sixteen again. Enjoy it, Doll.”

I offered him a smile and he moved a seat over and sat next to me. “You see that?” He pointed to a pale scar stretching from his wrist to his elbow.

His sudden closeness frightened me and I wasn’t sure why, we were in a courthouse full of officers and people. “Yes.”

“That’s where…”

Suddenly, my arm jerked nearly out of it’s socket and Zach was storming with me in tow out the door. “You’re hurting me.”

He instantly let go and looked at me. “The one thing I ask and you can’t do it?”

“What…what did I not do?” He took my hand again. This time more gently.

“I asked you to stay in the Jeep.” His words had calmed. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Then why are you upset? Did you not want your PO to see me?” Zach was at my door. I pulled his keys from my purse and handed them to him.  He opened my door and I got in. He closed the door and went to his side. “Did I embarrass you?”

He hit the steering wheel. “I’m on probation for drugs, do UA’s, have to go to meetings and
you
think
I’m
embarrassed of you.” He shook his head like I was dense. “Don’t you see Em. I’m the embarrassment. You would never be in that office talking with those people if it wasn’t for me. You should never have stepped foot in there.
That’s
why we shouldn’t be together. You should never be subjected to this sort of thing. Yesterday when I said my PO…you didn’t have a clue what I was saying. Now you spout it off like it’s part of your daily conversations.”

Another reason not to be together. He made it sound like those outweighed the reason’s we should. “Fine. Take me to Safeway, let me shoplift, get arrested then it’ll be OK if we’re in this together,” I scoffed.

He glared at me. “Not funny.”  His tone harsh. “That was stupid,” he said softer.

             
“No. You’re being stupid. So what if you are on probation? Everyone screws up at some time or another.”

“Yeah, but, I gave it one hundred percent effort.”  His scowl twisted upward and I smiled.

“See…you are good at something,” I teased. “What did he say about the fight?”

“He’s going to talk to the judge. I may get a twenty-four hour sanction.” He looked out the window.

“I don’t know what that means.” I hated saying it, but it was true.

Suddenly, my hand was in his and he kissed my fingertips. “Why would you?” He questioned and I wondered if he meant to say it aloud. “It means I may get locked up for twenty-four hours and…”

“In
JAIL
?” My heart raced. This couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it. This had been my fault to begin with.

H
e squeezed my hand. “We don’t know yet so don’t panic. OK?” He must have seen the fear in my eyes. The Jeep was moving slower than the other cars on I-5 and I wondered if he was buying time. I nodded.  The thought of him being locked up…away from me…made me sick.

“It was just a fight.”

“Em. There are conditions of probation. You can’t hang out with people who are known criminals…like myself.”
              “Stop.”

He laughed. “You have to attend school, be on time, keep in contact with your PO, stay clean, and not engage in illegal activity…fighting included.” He made the turn on my street. I didn’t want to be home.

“When is later?”

He paused trying to decide what to say. “I suppose now is later. But I’d like to tell you at my house.” 

I wasn’t sure if that remark was good or bad news. “OK. Let me go and throw a casserole in the oven then I’ll have some time.”

In the drive, I reached into the backseat and grabbed the shorts. “May I?”

“Have them?”

I eagerly nodded.

“I don’t care. They need washed.”

“I know. I smelled them earlier.”

His mouth fell open with a repulsed look on his face. “Why does that not surprise me?”

I smiled, shut the door and ran up to the house.

When we got to Zach’s, his dad was leaving with his golf clubs.

“Hello, Emma. Zach.”

“Hi Dad. Golf?  Use a colored ball, there’s still snow on the ground.” Zach slung his backpack over one shoulder.

“Hi, Mr. Owens.”

His dad laughed. “I’m taking them in to get them re-gripped. After that, your mother and I are meeting Dan and Susan for dinner. What are you two doing?” he asked sliding the clubs into his trunk.

“We’ll probably eat a bite and then hang out.”

His father gave an approving nod but added. “Hang out downstairs, all right?”

Zach held his hand up like a gun and lowered his thumb like he was firing. “Good tip, Dad. Thanks.”

I grinned at his dad and I’m sure he saw the blush rushing into my cheeks. Zach shut the door behind us. He watched his dad pull away then set the alarm.

“Is that necessary?”

“If there is one thing I learned from your house. Expect them when you shouldn’t. This will let us know. You hungry?”

I was. “A little.”

He opened the kitchen cupboard. “Popcorn?”

“Sure.”

After grabbing a soda from the fridge, he opened it and handed it to me. He tossed the popcorn in the microwave then grabbed me close.

“So, this is why you set the alarm,” I smirked. We hadn’t kissed in a couple of days and I’d missed him.

“Maybe. Do you want to kiss a criminal?” His nose touched mine.

“Actually,” I brushed my lips across his without kissing him. “it’s really a turn on and I was thinking about contacting a death row inmate. I hear they are looking for chicks to e-mail.”

“You think?” He hugged me tightly then lifted me and sat me on top of the granite countertop. “I think one criminal in your life is one too many.” He maneuvered his way between my legs. We still weren’t eye level but closer and my legs dangled at his sides.

“I love my big 4.0 GPA thug,” I hazed.

“Your thug loves you too.” He laughed quietly then pressed his mouth to mine. I’d never been addicted to anything…but I had a feeling this is how an addict felt. I broke free, which was hard to do.

“What’s wrong?”

“When you were using…you know….drugs.” I looked down ashamed that I’d brought it up.

“Yes.”

“Did you do it because you were addicted?”

“I did it because it made me forget about what was happening. I was reckless across the board. I did a lot of stupid shit.” He pulled me close and I leaned my chin against his shoulder.

“Why?” he asked.

“You’ll laugh.” I didn’t want to say.

“Try me.”

I couldn’t see his face so maybe I wouldn’t know if he laughed. “You’re my drug,” I whispered. “I need you.”  He didn’t laugh and he reared his head back scrutinizing my face then kissed me again. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and my body became so limp I think he held me up in his arms. What was it about his kiss?  I couldn’t think straight and his breath was warm and inviting. His hands traced down my back till they met the countertop then he pulled my lower body toward the edge till our bodies met. My legs wrapped around him and I wasn’t sure if they were connected to my body anymore because my reaction wasn’t conscious. He lifted me off the countertop and turned to walk, his arms wrapped so tightly around me, I knew I wouldn’t fall. I wondered if his eyes were open.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I dropped my legs and broke off our kiss. My legs dangled as he held firmly. “The alarm.” I informed him, my eyes wide.

Then he swung my legs up and caught them with the other arm. “How about the microwave.”

Relief settled over me as it registered that he was right. “Oh.” He replaced me in my position on the granite and got a bowl. I hopped off the counter and opened the microwave. Steam billowed out as I poured the popcorn into the bowl smelling delicious.

We flipped the channels and munched on the popcorn. Remembering the casserole at home, I texted Ryan and begged him to tell Mom and Dad that Zach and I were grabbing a bite. Hopefully, he’d comply. I’d know as soon as I got home.

Zach took the empty bowl and cans to the kitchen and as he walked back through the family room, took my hand and led me upstairs. I figured to his room.

“You’re dad said to stay downstairs,” I reminded him.

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re breaking the ruuules,” I teased.

“
Uh-huh.”

We rounded the corner to his room and he moved an old popcorn tin next to the desk chair. He sat on the tin and patted the chair. I sat in front of the computer.

“What are we doing?” This isn’t what I thought he had in mind.

“It’s later…right?”  His Adam’s apple moved up then down as he swallowed.

I remembered what my mission was and why we’d come to his house. The blank flat screen monitor sat on his desk. He moved the mouse and it lighted to life. Then he clicked on Google.

I put my hand over his on top of the mouse and his eyes flickered to mine. I lifted his hand and pulled it in to my heart. I stared at the Google page and couldn’t for the life of me anticipate what was coming. I wondered if he could feel my heart beating against my chest. I closed my eyes and felt the pulse inside of me.

“Em?”

I stood and back stepped tugging his hand till he moved with me. His eyes locked on mine. I moved past the light switch, flipping it down then walked backward till my calves made contact with the mattress. I sat, scooted back and pulled him onto me. He rested his weight on his forearms above me and stared into my eyes.

“I don’t want to know,” I whispered.
              His fingers swept over my cheek. “But you said…”