Authors: Lori L. Otto
Tags: #Romance, #Love, #death, #Family, #Sex, #young love, #teen, #girlfriend, #boyfriend, #first love
“
Touché, Livvy.” He glares at me
playfully. “Listen, convince Jacks to let me take you to the next
meeting. I’ll behave, I just need to feel him out.”
“
Ewww...”
“
Get your mind out of the gutter.
Have some manners, you were raised better than that,” he jabs back.
“Give me a proper introduction?”
“
All right,” I agree. “It’ll
probably be in a few weeks; maybe mid-January.”
“
Good. I’m not too busy next
month.”
The Thursday before Christmas is the last day before
our holiday break, and no one is focused at school, including our
teachers. Camille and I sit on the gym floor, our backs pressed
against the wall, talking about Finn and Jon. Our coach didn’t even
make us dress out for athletics.
“
Do you know what Jon’s getting
you?”
“
No. He keeps giving me obscure
hints, but I have no idea. I’m starting to think he’s just throwing
out red herrings at this point.”
“
I wouldn’t put it past him,” my
best friend says. “Finn’s getting me the purse I showed you at the
boutique last week.”
“
Lucky,” I tell her. “Jon has never
once asked me what I want. He likes thinking of things on his
own.”
“
What are you getting
him?”
“
I got him two tickets to see some
famous architect speak at the Museum of Modern Art and a
watch.”
“
What kind of watch?”
“
Well, I’ll show you...” I pat my
back jeans pocket for my phone, but realize I left it in the
locker. “Never mind, I don’t have my phone.”
“
Here, I’ve got mine.” She unlocks
it, and out of the corner of my eye, I can see that she has about
ten unread text messages.
“
Popular today, huh?” I give her
privacy, watching some of our classmates playing keep away. A few
of the girls are looking in our direction, whispering. I’d never
been really close with many people at school, keeping my circle of
friends pretty tightly knit. My parents were that way, and raised
me to be that way, too.
Still, they normally leave me alone.
“
Ummm... Livvy?”
“
Yeah?”
“
Is this you?”
“
Where?” I grab her phone, needing
only a split second to recognize the picture on the display. It’s
the picture Jon snapped of me at the loft, when I was wearing the
black lace lingerie. I drop Camille’s phone on the gymnasium floor,
and my hands are shaking too badly to pick it back up. I look up
from the phone, seeing other girls laughing at my
reaction.
“
Why would Jon send you that?” I
ask reflexively, but I’m genuinely confused.
“
He didn’t. Finn did. And so did
Robbie. And Sadie... and Carissa...”
Feeling as if I’ve been stabbed in the heart, I get
up quickly and run to the locker room. Camille follows me.
“
It’s you?”
“
No!” I tell her, my face turning
bright pink as I put in the combination to the lock and swing the
metal door open with so much force it shuts again. I lean my head
against the locker and start crying. She puts her hand on my back,
and I simply whisper an amended response. “Yes.”
“
Livvy!” she yells. “It’s all over
the Internet!”
“
What do you mean?”
I’m going to die. Mom and Dad will kill me.
“
Finn keeps sending me links... one
celebrity site after another.”
“
Oh, my God.” I open my locker
again, grabbing my phone out of my purse. I’m inundated with texts,
too, but none from Jon–and none from my parents, which is a relief.
“I’m going home.” I grab my purse and bag, and run as quickly as I
can out of the locker room. A few girls have followed me and
Camille into the room, and stand at the exit, laughing as I run
past them.
I call Jon first, leaving him a message. I call him
again, leaving him another message. I text him–multiple times.
Why would he do this to me?
I blow past the front desk, ignoring the
administrators who are calling to me from their desks. When I reach
my car, I try to take a few deep breaths before I start to scan the
messages I’d received. After visiting three sites, I decide I have
to act–fast.
I call my dad at work.
“
Dad, I need to ask a
favor.”
“
Sure, Tessa.
Anything.”
“
Don’t ask me any questions, I just
need you to meet me at home in twenty minutes.”
“
Why aren’t you in
school?”
“
I was, but I need to leave.
So you need to call them and tell them I have a doctor’s
appointment or something.”
“
Do you need one? Are you
okay?”
“
I’m… okay, Dad, but will you do
this?”
“
I mean, for you, yes,
but–”
“
Can you do a few other
things?”
“
What’s going on, Livvy?” He’s
impatient, and louder.
“
Just promise me you won’t answer
your phone, check your email, listen to the news, or go online
right now.”
“
Livvy, you’re starting to scare
me.”
“
It’s nothing to be scared of, Dad.
Just trust me.”
How can I even ask
him to trust me? He never will again.
“And one
more thing, Dad. Can you pick Mom up? And ask her to not
answer her phone or anything either.”
“
She’s home already,” he says.
“Matty’s covering for her today. But I’ll give her the rest of your
message.”
“
I love you, Dad.”
“
I love you, too, Livvy. Be
careful driving home and I’ll see you soon.”
I see the garage door closing as I pull into the
driveway. I just pray they haven’t found out yet so I can be in
control of the conversation. This is going to be hard enough as it
is.
They’re waiting in the kitchen for me, and I hear
them discussing theories as I walk through the house.
“
Can you guys sit down?” I ask
them. They exchange worried glances, but both take a seat at the
dining room table. I stand in front of them, playing with the
pendant of my necklace, running it back and forth along the fine
chain. “I’m going to come clean about something right now.
And this isn’t easy, and I probably wouldn’t do it if I
didn’t have to, but I kind of have to.”
“
Is someone blackmailing you?” Dad
asks quickly.
“
No. Just listen. You
know when you went to the lake house for the weekend? And I
stayed with Camille?”
“
Yes.”
“
I didn’t stay with
Camille.”
I don’t really understand Mom’s expression.
She simply looks concerned, and warm, and completely
encouraging right now. I glance at my dad, who doesn’t
exactly appear to be breathing. He looks down, pinching the
bridge of his nose. I decide to keep my focus on Mom.
“
In my
house
, Livvy?” Dad asks, still not looking
up.
“
No, Dad. Of course not.” He
nods his head in understanding and looks up at me, but I can’t look
back. “Jon and I stayed at the loft, and… well, things
happened,” I tell them vaguely.
“
Livvy, are you–” He can’t
even ask the question.
“
No!” I shriek. “No, no, I
promise, no, we were really, really careful.” I silently
plead with Mom to calm down Dad. She puts her hand on his
forearm, and he flips his hand over to hold hers.
“
Thank God,” he says. “Wait, you
two have been meeting up at the loft?”
“
No, it was the only
time.”
“
The only time at the loft? Or the
only time...
ever
?”
“
Jacks,” Mom cautions him. He
stares at me, waiting for an answer, but my mom shakes her head at
me, careful to make the motion minuscule so he can’t see
her.
“
Were you keeping this from me,
Emi?” he asks her angrily.
“
Of course not, Jacks, I had no
idea.”
“
We kiss and stuff, Dad,
and…”
“
I think we get the point, Liv,”
Mom says, stopping me before I have to lie.
“
Okay,” I sigh, thinking of how I
can continue.
“
I’m disappointed that you betrayed
our trust again, Livvy, and lied to us,” my dad says evenly, “but
thank you for telling us this.”
“
Well, like I said, I hadn’t
planned on telling you. Um…” I exhale quickly and shake
my head, looking down at the floor now and tracing the tile with
the toe of my shoe. “He took a picture of me,” I say quietly,
and hope to God it was loud enough.
“
Oh, good lord, Liv,” Dad says,
standing up and pushing his chair back, releasing Mom’s hand.
He runs his hand through his hair, staring hard at me as he
paces the dining room floor. “What happened with the
picture?”
“
He swore he’d hide it on his
computer. And he did, I made him show me where it was hidden,
and he had a really good password and it was buried in multiple
folders, and the file name wasn’t obvious, but somehow… I
don’t know, Dad, we even deleted it from the camera. I made
sure that was the only copy. But it’s on the Internet
today.”
“
Do you think he leaked it?
Got paid for it?”
“
Absolutely not, Dad. Come
on, you know him.” The fact that I haven’t talked to him creates
doubt in my voice, though.
“
He wouldn’t do that, Jacks,” Mom
chimes in. She looks at me reassuringly. “He wouldn’t.”
“
Well, then how?”
“
I don’t know, Dad. I’m
waiting for him to call me back, but maybe he’s in class. I’m
guessing he doesn’t even know right now.”
“
How’d you find out?”
“
Some kids at school found it on a
blog. Multiple blogs, actually. They texted me links;
Camille, too.”
“
Livvy, honey,” Mom starts slowly.
“What exactly is it a picture of?” She cringes, and Dad
stops in his tracks, listening intently.
“
I’m clothed,” I tell them, “just
not… um, properly.”
“
And what does that mean?” Dad asks
cautiously.
“
I had on a sort-of slip thing.
I mean, you can’t exactly see anything. And my hair
covers part of my face, so it’s not, like, incredibly
obvious…”
“
But the kids at school
knew?”
“
Yeah. My name was in the
blog.”
“
So if it wasn’t obvious, then they
must know you or Jon, to know who you are.”
“
I guess.”
“
Where’s the picture?” Mom asks.
I pull my phone out of my back pocket and unlock it. I
notice Jon’s sent me three texts, but I ignore them, navigating
back to the webpage one of my schoolmates had directed me to.
“
See, it could be anyone,
right?”
“
Except for your hair and that ring
that got so much attention last summer.” I hadn’t even given the
ring a second thought.
“
You can’t really see it though,
can you?”
“
Well, that camera you have for
your art is incredibly high-resolution... as is this photo. So
let’s just zoom in.”
“
Crap,” I say, defeated. “Forget
it, Mom. I believe you.” She offers to show my dad the picture, but
he turns away.
I sit in silence as Mom continues to look at my
phone. “I just did a quick search on the web,” my mother tells me.
“It could be much worse, but still, this isn’t good, Liv. It’s
everywhere.”
While Dad’s in the formal dining room making himself
a drink, someone knocks at the front door. Mom and I both recognize
Jon’s knock.
“
Can you stay here for a second?
Just so I can warn him?” I plead with my mother. She nods in
agreement as I walk toward the foyer.
“
Make sure no one else is around,”
Dad hollers after me. I stare back at him, wanting to roll my eyes,
but don’t. I open up the door for my clearly-worried
boyfriend.
“
I called Camille when you didn’t
respond. Baby, I have no idea how this happened. You saw where I
put it, I swear there were no other copies.”
“
I believe you, but that doesn’t
really help us.”
“
Do you think your parents will
find out? I mean, I honestly don’t think you can hide this. It’s
everywhere.”
“
I know I can’t.” I open the door
all the way and let him in. He sets down his laptop bag by the
front door and gives me a hug. “I told them already.” His grip
loosens as he stands up straight.
“
Where are they?” he
whispers.
“
In the kitchen,” I whisper back,
half-mocking him.
“
What did you tell
them?”
“
Everything about that
weekend.”
“
Should I leave?”
“
I don’t think you should,” I tell
him. “I think my dad might have some questions.”
“
Shhh... shoot me now,
Liv.”
“
They’re taking it surprisingly
well, actually.”
“
Well, they’re not going to kill
their own daughter,” he argues.