On Becoming Her Sir (17 page)

“Absolutely,” Bart stated as he turned to face her, his eyes narrowing.

They had an understanding, their own personal line drawn in the sand. The look became intense, a telling for both. “Then it’s a deal.” As she moved past him and was able to feel the heat from his body, capture the scent of his testosterone, she realized she’d just made a deal with the devil. No matter how tortured a soul he was, he would find a way to claim her.

And God help her, she was tingling all over. What saddened her was that she wasn’t certain if she was quivering from fear. Or from the excitement of the chase.

Chapter Seven

Luke could tell something was bothering Jessie all through dinner. “You look radiant tonight,” he breathed as he yanked off his tie. He winced as the bolt of thunder jolted the house. He knew she hated storms, was terrified of their power.

Jessie gave him a slight smile before dropping her purse and rubbing her arms. “I wanted to look especially nice for you since this is the eve of our fabulous trip.”

The look she gave him was mischievous but he could easily tell her playfulness was forced. Whatever pain she was harboring he hoped she’d talk to him about. However he knew, she had to be the one to broach the subject. “My dearest, you always look beautiful for me.” Moving toward her he gave her a heated look, one to give her comfort more than anything. When she turned away he sighed. “Please tell me what’s bothering you.”

Saying nothing she walked toward the French doors, staring out at the storm. “Rain, meant to wash away our sins.”

The words were an odd choice, a sad telling. He opted to move past. “How was the photo shoot today?” When she bristled then tried to hide her reaction he grimaced. Perhaps he’d pushed her too far.

“I enjoyed it in truth. Zaphne is an interesting woman.”

“She is that. She’s had to scrape her way up from rock bottom.”

“Yes, being Bart’s sister, I’m certain she’s had difficulties.” The edge in her voice was obvious, her tone harsh.

“She told you?”

“Yeah. She did,” Jessie said as she studied his face. “Very interesting combination.

Luke shrugged. “They’re nothing alike.”

“More alike than I think you realize. They both hurt.”

“Interesting observation.”

“You know how I look past the basic mask we all wear, usually one that strangles us to the point we’re simply hiding, especially those keeping us from any peace.”

The words seemed strangely telling he debated what to say. “Zaphne is good people.”

“You know, I bet Brad is too, underneath all his bravado.”

Luke moved behind her and the moment he placed his hands on her shoulders she tensed. “What is going on with Bart?”

“Going on?” she breathed as she looked over her shoulder.

“You know you can tell me anything.”

“I…of course.” Jessie’s whisper was strangled. “I don’t like him, but there’s something dark there, something from his past.”

“Hmmm…” He was surprised she cared about whatever past he might have. “We all have a past that haunts us. Don’t we?”

Very slowly she turned around, lifting her head, her eyes burning into his. For a few seconds she fingered her collar, the action almost as a reminder. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?” Luke’s heart skipped. He’d been fighting with his ghosts all day, all week, needing to talk to her before they made another leap of faith. But how the hell could he tell her he was a monster?

Jessie smiled. “You know what I mean. Why don’t you tell me what you’re fighting so hard to keep from me? You know I won’t judge you. I promise. I love you my Sir. I want to spend the rest of my life with you but…”

“But?” He interrupted. “What?”

She cupped his chin, brushing her thumb back and forth across his lips. “Let me finish. I need to know you can confide in me, no matter what the issue, no matter how difficult. Don’t you know it’s killing me you’re hiding something?”

“Like you’re hiding something tonight?” He regretted the words the instant he said them. The look in her eyes was full of hurt, the kind he could never repair. “That was uncalled for.”

“No, I understand. Why don’t I make us a drink?” Looking away she hesitated, as if waiting for him to say something, give her reason to stay.

Luke bit back an anguished moan. The demons had bridged the surface of his soul, now threatening to take over his entire life. He was paralyzed by fear, a certain knowing history would repeat itself. When she took a step away, a slight whimper coming from her mouth, he realized how much he loved her. “Wait. Jessie.”

“No. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Pulling her against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her, cupping her ass, as he lowered his head. “You need to hear me. I love you more than anyone I ever have in my life. I’ve never wanted another woman this way. I am so amazed at how incredible you are, how beautiful and soft, yet so strong. You are my submissive, my light and joy, my pride and honor. For the rest of my life I want nothing more than to take care of you, protect you from the evils in this world. I want to give you everything in my heart.”

She blinked, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “Oh Luke.”

He lowered his head, capturing her mouth, and crushed her body against his. She was trembling, her heart beating enough he could feel her fear, could smell her uncertainly. As he kissed her, his tongue entwining with hers, her tears fell on his cheeks and he realized he was never going to be good enough for her, never the man she truly needed. What in the hell was he going to do?

Jessie moaned into the kiss and when he broke the kiss she was no longer trembling. Sniffing, she offered a slight laugh and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry to be so emotional.”

“Never apologize for your feelings. What can I do to show you how much I love you?” Luke asked as he licked across first one eyelid then the other, drawing the salty beads into his mouth.

“You can trust me.”

“And you can trust me.”

“I do with everything I have,” she said softly.

“Then tell me what happened with Bart. What did he do?”

She pushed hard against his chest. “He’s just arrogant. He thinks he can use me and…”

“Ah. He made hit on you finally, did he?” Luke chuckled but they both heard the hollow sound. His blood boiled and he was going to kill the son of a bitch. The man had to try and take everything that belonged to him. No more. No more games. No more lies.

“Yeah, he did. You knew he would.”

“Penis’ never forget.”

“Rather profound,” she said as she wrinkled her nose.

“More than you know. He do this at the party the other night?” Brushing a loose strand of hair from her face he tried to keep the sound of rage from his voice. This she didn’t need, especially when they were going to enjoy a wonderful trip together, one that would bring them so much closer.

“Well yes and… I mean yes sir.” She looked away.

Jessie always had difficulty lying to him. He cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “What did he do and when else did this happen?”

“Look. Don’t worry about Bart. I can handle him. Okay? He’s just posturing, like all men do.” Her voice had returned to having a playful tone.

“Jezebel. What happened and when?”

She clucked her jaw and kneaded his shirt. “Honestly, it doesn’t matter.”

“You said trust. This is reciprocal.” Luke felt like a heal, but he was going to have to deal with Bart one way or the other. The game was going to end. Period.

“Yes, trust. We both need to do better. Don’t we?” She lifted her head, her eyes flashing.

“Agreed.”

Another hesitation brought a deep sigh. “At the party yes, but that was minor. Today at the shoot he came pretty close to…”

“What?” Luke exploded. “At the damn shoot? Are you kidding me?” Huffing, he took a step back, breaking their connection.

“Hold on. It’s okay. I handled the incident.”

“Incident. What the hell did he do?”

“Luke,” she said, her voice exasperated. She walked toward him.

He took a long stride back. “Tell me.”

“Then calm down.”

“I am calm.” But he was anything but. Rage filled him to the point he could no longer see straight. To think he could honestly believe he could trust the asshole, after… Shit. This was getting out of hand. The man had come to claim what belonged to Luke for reasons that no one should ever know, but something he was going to be forced to tell her. Then she would leave him. “Tell me.”

“Not like this.” Shivering visibly, she looked away then exhaled. “I suggest we talk on the trip, if we can. If we can’t get past these walls then we’re lost and you know it. You can’t confide in me and right now, I’m terrified to confide in you for fear you’ll kill the man. Do you know how angry you are? Do you have any idea how much I fear what you might do?”

The words struck him between the eyes and for a few seconds he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t focus or think clearly. Anger and fear, the terror of his past and all the hatred he had for himself came flooding into his heart, his soul. Don’t do this. Let it go. He breathed out, controlling his heart rate and clenched his fists. He refused to succumb to the beast dwelling within him. “I don’t plan on doing anything to Bart. He’s a man of his making, his own worst enemy.”

“You both are. I only hope we can find a way to talk to each other. I’m sad. I’m very sad.” When he said nothing, she choked out a sound. “I’m going to get us a drink. Maybe we can try and save what’s left of the evening.”

Luke watched her walk away, his heart heavy. There was no way he was going to get into anything tonight. None. He unfastened the top two buttons of his shirt and moved back to the doors, studying the rain, the lightning as it flashed in the sky. Placing his hand on the doorjamb he opened his mouth, longing to scream to the world. How had he allowed this mess to happen, his past to interfere in such a manner he was caught up in a bitter trail of bullshit? Bart was merely a catalyst, a reminder of a time he longed to forget. Now…

His heart heavy he closed his eyes. As the tears began to fall, memories of what he’d shared, how he’d loved, and all that he’d lost swept through every portion of his mind. He muffled the sounds, refusing to allow Jessie to see the weak man he’d become. He pressed his fist against his chest, panting as he tried to think clearly, rationally to any point. What the hell was Bart really trying to do? Inviting him in then attempting to take Jessie was bold, even for a pontificating asshole. There was more to the story and he realized Jessie was terrified to tell him something.

Just let it go. Let it go until you get back. He was going to have time alone with her, alone and away from all the issues. The thought made him laugh. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t run from the bullshit much longer. He was going to have to tell her about Suzzana, the truth. He was going to have to tell her what happened, the tragedy that was all his fault. In the end he knew they would either be stronger or destroyed. He would do this in his time, his way. He would try and help her understand. If there was any way.

Crack!

The shot of thunder rolled as the two strikes of lightning echoed, the sound matching his ragged heart beat. The night sky lit up like a firecracker and for a few seconds he could see his reflection, the horrible look remaining on his face. He was frozen in the moment until she appeared, her face shimmering in the blue hue. “Suzzana.”

Jerking around he gasped, darkness enveloping him. The second he reached out, longing to tell her over and over again how sorry he was, the doorbell rang. Cursing, he grimaced as he brought his fist to his mouth. He stumbled forward then looked toward the kitchen, listening for any sounds of Jessie in any manner. Hearing nothing he groaned. The night before a wonderful vacation wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.

When he opened the door he couldn’t have been any more surprised. And pissed off. “Bart. What are you doing here?”

“I have the contracts. I was hoping we could get our business concluded before you left on your trip,” Brad said as he looked over Luke’s shoulder.

Luke sniffed and knew exactly who he was looking for. “And you were certain you’d find me here or were you actually looking for Jessie?”

His eyes flashed. “I have the contracts right here. If you’re leaving together I assumed you’d be staying together before the trip.” Bart stood his ground.

As the lightning flashed in the background he studied Bart’s expression. There was nothing to indicate anything but the truth. He wanted nothing more than to grab the asshole around the collar and jerk him inside, beating the fucking shit out of him. He decided to extend the olive branch for tonight. He’d deal with whatever mess he needed to upon his return. “All right. Let’s get this over with. I would like to finish my evening with Jessie.”

“Fair enough. I won’t take but a few minutes of your time.”

After letting Bart in he shut the door and realized his entire body was shaking from the rawness furrowing deep inside. He was out of his element, off his game, and his anger continued to boil. “I have some concerns about the contract terms.”

Bart shook off the rain and held out a folder. “I think you’re going to approve in truth. I changed the terms.”

“You changed the terms? No fucking way you’re going to arbitrarily change anything at this stage of the game,” Luke hissed.

He held out his hold. “Hold on and let me explain.”

Luke sniffed. “Go on.”

“I sweetened the deal for you, giving you another ten percent.”

No one gave anything without a catch. “Really?”

“No catch, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Bart held out the file. “Take a look.”

“Why the generosity?” Luke tentatively grabbed the file. When he opened the flap, flipping through the pages, he had to admit the numbers now looked spot on. “Why the change in heart?” The hesitation was just enough he took note.

“I realized that you have an expertise in business the rest of us don’t have.”

“This means I’ll have controlling interest.”

“Well, almost. There is a caveat you can’t sell the company, allow another investor in or change the basic mission statement without full Board approval.” Bart tipped his head.