On Steady Ground (The Walker Brother's Series) (7 page)

“No. No. Just relax.” He said finishing up. “Um, I’ll be downstairs when your ready. I’ll have an ice pack for your cheek.” Walking out just as quickly again making me wonder why he was being so weird all of a sudden.

Sighing, and turning back around I lifted my nightgown up and over my head and threw it in the trash. Putting his t-shirt on I was assaulted by the scent. It smelled of some sort of musky cologne that I catch a wiff off whenever he walks by me. Standing and looking into the mirror his shirt came to just above my knees and completely engulfed me. Studying myself more closely, this wasn’t exactly the image I liked to project to Ian. I wanted to look attractive for him, to hopefully catch his interest. This isn’t what I had in mind. Wearing a baggy shirt, legs all cut up, cheek back to being bruised. Letting my now tangled hair down around my shoulders, I combed it out with my fingers as good as I could manage.

With a heavy heart, I walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs wondering if I was ever going to get rid of Craig. Wanting so desperately to move on with my life and close that chapter forever.

Trudging into the living room Ian was perched on the edge of the couch, his head resting in his hands. I hated that I was being such a burden in his life and that fact made me want to run out of the door. Sitting down on the very end of the couch, he looked up at me.

“You shouldn’t be alone tonight. Do you want me to call Grant back here for you?” He asked, curious of her response. He had just gotten off the phone with his brother, after his long trip back home. He hated the fact that they had spent a whole day together.

My cheeks flaring red, “No. I know I’m a burden to you, so I’ll just leave. I’m sorry Ian.” I said getting up and walking towards the kitchen wanting to flee before he could see the disappointment in my face. Feeling myself being pulled back, I was suddenly in Ian’s arms looking up into his face.

“Are you with my brother Lizzy?” He asked looking down at me earnestly.

I wanted to give a smart ass remark, but I thought better of it after seeing how serious he was. “No Ian. I am not with your brother.” Looking up at him defiantly.

“Do you want to be with my brother?”

“This is ridiculous.” I said starting to turn, only being pulled back into his chest.

“Fine one more question. Do you love him?” His body firing up at the mere sight of her in his shirt and nothing else.

“No.” I said staring up into his eyes.

“I can work with that.” He said, his lips crushing down on mine. His arms circling around me tightly, he kissed me with such passion, that I had never felt before. My breath getting caught in my lungs, I didn’t care if I ever took another breath again. My body going from cold to hot in an instant, my arms circled around his neck, one hand buried into his hair. My mind going fuzzy, I could no longer string two thoughts together as his mouth assaulted mine. I remember briefly my knee’s buckling, but I never waivered as my body was lifted up into his. The minutes ticked by, and I didn’t recall being carried to the couch until Ian came down on top of me, his lips never leaving mine. His hand going up my bare leg to my thigh, he hitched up my leg, his hand squeezing tightly into my skin. My breath sucking in as I felt myself losing control. Pulling away from me abruptly, Ian struggled to catch his breath as his hand went up through his hair, holding himself up above me.

Staring into my eyes, “Not like this. Not when you’re vulnerable.” He said trying to convince himself as much as her.

My shaky hand going up to my lips I turned my head staring at the television, feeling the full sting of rejection.

His hand going up to my cheek, pushing my head over to look at him, “I want more Lizzy. I want it all. I want all of you. Right now, you just are unable to give that. It’s not anyone’s fault.” He said trying to reassure her. Half of him damning himself for being an idiot. Dreaming of this moment since high school, it was right in front of him for the taking. His more logical side winning out.

Looking up at him, “I am sorry that I’m so broken right now Ian.” Wanting him so badly that I wanted to scream in frustration. “But, it’s over with Craig. I have no feelings for him anymore. Is that the problem?”

Shaking his head in frustration, “It’s Craig, it’s Grant.”

“I told you that I’m not seeing Grant.”

“Grant likes you Lizzy. Alot. And to be honest, I don’t know where your head is at and I’m not sure you do either.

Pushing myself up, “Then why did you kiss me Ian? Why?” My temper flaring.

“Because I happen to care about you Lizzy. I don’t want to compete with my brother.” Sitting back onto the couch staring across at me.

“Enough about your brother Ian.” My hands going up to my face in frustration. I wanted so badly to tell him that he is the only person I think about. That he is the person I dream about at night. That his kiss scorched through to my very soul. My decision to tell him all of that wavering in the fact that I might scare him off for good. A man like Ian comes along once in a lifetime and now that I know what it feels like to kiss him, to touch him, I am scared to death of never knowing that again.

“I have to be sure if we were to try to start anything that you’re not thinking of someone else when you are with me.” Moving closer to me.

“I don’t know what to say. Everything has happened so fast.”

Smiling at me, “Stay here tonight. When you feel like you’re on steady ground again, I’ll take you out to dinner.”

Shaking my head that was now throbbing, he left the room coming back in a few second later with an ice pack. Pressing it to my cheek, he sat in front of me staring into my face, not saying a word. Everything so quiet that I swore we could both hear my heart pounding in my chest. Standing up nervous, “I think I’m just going to go upstairs and rest. My head is hurting.” I said holding the ice pack to my cheek. Nodding at me, he stared at me as I left the room and headed up the stairs. My heart still hammering away in my chest I didn’t take a breath until I entered the guest room and shoved the door closed behind me. Leaning against it, I shut my eyes and cursed my retched life. The vision of him laying over me as he kissed me blind with passion. The way his hair fell over his eyes when he pulled back to look at me. The heat scorching between us with just a glance. Looking down at my self wearing his t-shirt only made everything that much worse.

Flopping down on the bed, I laid back with the ice pack to my cheek unsure of how much time had passed until the pack had grown warm. Glancing at the clock it read midnight and I was more than a little wired. My nerves shot, my anxiety through the roof I felt like I could walk the floors easily for the rest of the night. I had no idea Grant was even downstairs until I opened the door to bring the ice pack back down and heard the brothers talking.

“What do you mean she’s upstairs?” I heard Grant ask Ian.

“You have no idea what that woman has been through tonight Grant.”

“I’m going up to talk to her.” Grant said rather put out with Ian.

“She’s sleeping.”

Sneaking back into the bedroom, the last thing I heard before I heard a soft knock at the door. I wanted to pull the covers up over my head, take the easy way out. Instead I sat up and told him to come in.

“Oh my God. Lizzy are you alright?” He asked, rushing over to my bedside, his hand on my cheek.

“I’m fine now.” His eyes going down to Ian’s t-shirt, the disapproval written all over his face.

“Why don’t you come home with me. I’ll take care of you. He’ll never find you at my place.”

“Grant, he has been following me all week.”

“He would never get past security. Come Lizzy. Come home with me.” He begged, that winning smile spread across his face.

“I’ve pulled you and your brother into my problems enough. Monday after work, I am going to go look for an apartment.” Knowing in my heart it was time to get back out into the world and spread my wings again. To be my own person, to belong to no one.

Grant giving me a sidewards glance, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Here you have Ben and Ian to watch after you, and me when you let me. In an apartment by yourself you will be vulnerable.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Point is, it’s something I have to do.”

“I could always use a roommate.” He said sweetly, the corners of his mouth turning up into a grin.

“And watch half-naked women traipsing in and out at all times of the day and night? Um, no. I’ll pass Grant. Thank you.”

“That wouldn’t happen if you were there.” Grabbing my hand, turning serious again.

“No. Thank you.” Removing my hand from his.

“I’ve thought of nothing else but our kiss. Tell me that you haven’t felt the same way.”

Not wanting to hurt his feelings, “Grant, it’s been a horrid day. I don’t wish to talk about any of this anymore.” Turning my back to him and laying down on the bed.

“Okay, well I was just worried about you.” He said starting to rise, my guilt getting the best of me.

Turning and shoving the pillow further under my head, “I’m sorry Grant. I’m just in a bad mood. That’s no excuse for my rudeness.”

“No worries. I would be a little concerned if the nights events didn’t shake you up. Truth is Lizzy I know you think I have a crush on you. I know this isn’t the most opportune time to bring this up and I don’t want you to say anything. I just want you to think about what I’m about to say. I am no longer that high school boy you once knew. I am a man, and I no longer have crushes. You intrigue me. You have always intrigued me. It is true that you are to good for me, but that doesn’t keep me from hoping that I can be deserving of you just the same. If you were to ever choose me, I would take care of you. You would never want for anything. I would commit fully to you, I would prove to you everyday that I can be faithful. Please just give me a chance. A fair chance.” Leaning down and kissing me on the forehead he walked out, closing the door behind him.

I thought I couldn’t take any more surprises today, but Grant did just that. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, to cry into the pillow, to pace the floors, anything other than laying here staring at the walls. Watching my life spin dizzily out of control in doing so. Men were really starting to suck, and I was starting to despise them all. Hardly the attitude to have after Ian saved my neck, but I was so over everything at this moment. Grant kisses me, and is in hot pursuit after continually telling him that I’m not interested. Craig is a psycho lunatic that needed to get a serious grip on reality. And Ian. Sighing and looking towards the door. Well I’d like to go down there and finish what we started. Beyond that, he kisses me with more passion than you would call a mild interest and then tells me that I’m not ready. The nerve. Okay, so maybe I had a little interest in Grant, and if Ian wasn’t in the picture I would maybe let him catch me in his pursuit. However, Ian kissed me tonight. Honest to God kissed me. Still making me amazed at the thought. My heart still fluttering every time I thought of that moment.

All of a sudden, I had this urge to run. Run far and run fast. Knowing running from ones problems was hardly the answer. Although at this moment I would give it a try anyhow. I could hear Ian walking up the stairs, a slight pause and then his room door shutting. I wanted to run in there to him. Beg him to stay with me, to just keep me company. Truth is, I hated being alone now more than ever. Half my skin crawling from my encounter with Craig, the other half glowing from my encounter with Ian.

Walking into my bedroom and throwing my shirt in the corner, I wondered if I could ever get Lizzy off of my brain. No woman has ever tied me up in knots quite like this before. Who am I kidding? It has never happened. Never having more than a mild infatuation with a woman, this was quite different. Looking at her sent his heart thundering in his chest. His temperature rising when she stood in front of him in his t-shirt. Her soft hair tousled wildly. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed her for many reasons. One, the timing was awful. His brother was completely obsessed with winning her and she has a psycho soon to be ex-husband. To only name a few, the biggest being he was terrified. Terrified of how she made him feel. The thoughts that go through his head at all times of day, even when he should be concentrating on work. The feelings though, those were the worst. He never had such conflicting emotions of wanting to be gentle and taking care of a woman, and wanting to rip her clothes off and have his way with her all at the same time. Every look, every torturous step she takes toward him is enough to undo him every time. The utter fury he had to keep under check when he seen that bastard trying to carry her away. Away from him. He wanted to unload the fury of hell on the son of a bitch. Even now his blood boiling to a dangerous level. Turning and placing his hand on the door knob, he wanted to go to her. Tell her that he was willing to fight for her. To forget about every other man but him. Words. Just meaningless words. He wanted proof that she thought of no other. That she didn’t have feelings for her brother. That she would deny his brother even with Ian not in the picture. Only then could he be completely sure that she wanted no other man. Even though he wanted her so badly that he could hardly control himself he knew he had to play it cool. Do good things really come to those who wait? That was the question he was hell bent on finding out for himself.

At first dawn I left with little incident. All was quiet in the house and I hadn’t slept a wink. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept more than a couple of hours and I could feel my mind growing foggy and confused. My body growing sluggish, I had even lost a little weight. Never being the vanity sort, this only concerned me because I couldn’t afford to go out and buy all new clothes. I knew I needed to eat more, sleep more and worry less. Easier sad than done however. On my way out of the kitchen I scribbled a note to Ian thanking him for his kindness and generosity. I wanted to thank him for his mind blowing, change my whole freakin world kiss, but decided that would be counter-productive and make me look like a total wack job. It was Saturday, I was exhausted and I had forgotten until this morning that I had agreed to switch the other waitress, Mindy days at work. Getting ready was a job in itself. The exhaustion working on every muscle in my body, I carefully dressed and called a cab. I really needed to find an apartment in town, close to work or I was bound to go broke in no time. When the cab finally arrived, I sunk into the seat watching the farm house growing smaller behind me.

The day wasn’t a total fail because I came out of it with keys to my brand new home. An old apartment would more accurately describe it, but it was mine. The owners were kind enough to rent out the apartment above the restaurant and it couldn’t be any more perfect. The stairs outside of the kitchen was the only access to my new home and that made it even the more ideal. They had not rented it out yet due to that fact. Finding someone they could trust with the restaurant keys was proving to be a headache, until today. We all were happy with the deal struck and I couldn’t wait to move in. It was small, but it was furnished and that was the final selling point. I didn’t need anything big and extravagant. Smiling, I gladly called the cab and on the way back to the farm I asked him to retrieve me again in an hour. No time like the present to start the new chapter. My head held high, shoving my worries away I knew if I didn’t do it now I would never be brave enough. The last thing I wanted to do was inconvenience Ben anymore. Not to mention the complete chaos I have caused in Ian’s life. No more. My new life begins today. A fresh start never sounded so good.

An hour later, and a brief note to Ben I was off on my new undertaking. Briefly telling him I was moving out and thanking him, I left my new phone number. I knew everyone would find out eventually where I lived, but at this point I thought it would be safer for me if no one knew at this point. He could call me if he needed anything. Instructing the cab to the back of the diner, I pulled all my luggage up the back steps waving hi at the cook as I made several trips. Pushing the key in the lock, I opened up the door to a dim room. Walking over to the windows I pulled the shades and let the light filter through. The wallpaper was a faded floral design and the furniture was outdated. The living room was open and went directly into the kitchen where things were slightly more modern. A gleaming white brand new stove that matched an equally nice refrigerator. A small table with two chairs was shoved up against the only window in the kitchen and already decided that was my perfect spot for morning coffee. Walking through the living room into a short hallway I flipped on the light to the tiny bathroom. It wasn’t much more than a shower and a toilet with a sink but it got the job done and that is all that matters. Opening up a door across from it stood my new bedroom. A nice king size bed was taking up most of the space and was placed in the middle of the room. A dresser was shoved off to the side of a window and a small closet stood beside it. All in all, not much but everything I needed. Admiring the bed, the owner Mrs. Taylor must have taken the liberty of giving me new bed linens. The sweetest couple in the world is what they are. I thought as I rubbed my hand across the soft material, sitting on the edge, creaking under my weight.

My mind returning to Ian. I had to admit I felt more than a little guilty for not telling him that I was moving. I should have went over and thanked him again and then left. Knowing it all boiled down to me being a coward instead. How was I going to face him again without thinking of the mind blowing kiss that we shared? How was I going to keep my eyes from shifting down to his soft lips? No man should have lips so soft and charged with such electricity as his. No man should exude so much sex appeal. He broke all the laws of perfection. Perfection that is unmatched in his handsome features, and god-like body. The man was just to damn perfect. How can I stop thinking of him when I can’t think of one single thing to pick him apart about? Can a man really be this perfect? Or is he to good to be true? Maybe he was lousy in bed. I thought. Yes that had to be it. Or even yet, a small package. My lips curving up into a smile. What the hell was I doing thinking about anything on him below the belt? Cursing myself back into the reality of my situation. It wasn’t like I was ever going to find out anyhow. Guys like Ian doesn’t go for girls like me. I have enough baggage to fill an entire airport, now back to being disgusted with myself. Truth be told I knew in my heart that a man that could kiss like that could more than likely do exceptional things in bed. Telling my mind to shut up before I call the cab again and go back and try to find out first hand.

I spent the day unpacking my things and running down to the general store to pick up some bath towels and pots and pans. The new place was starting to look and feel like my own and a sense of pride washed over me immediately. For the first time I actually felt like I could do this. I could live alone, be by myself, dependent on no one. Falling down into the old comfortable chair, I didn’t have a television but that didn’t matter to me. I purchased a radio at a second hand store and was perfectly content with it. I didn’t necessarily feel safer here from Craig, not having Ian around but it did help that I didn’t have a direct door. At night the restaurant would be locked up tight and I may be able to sleep a little better. My sense of doubt nagging away at me. The man could probably pick the locks if he felt the need to. Truth be told it probably was Ian that was keeping me safe from him. To see the intimidation in Craig’s eyes is a moment I will relish forever. He was rarely intimidated and to have Ian send him on his way so quickly with his tail tucked between his legs was a gratifying feeling. I’m pretty sure he thought I was with Ian, and let him. If that keeps him away, then I have no problem of him thinking it. There would be no woman on this earth that wouldn’t be proud to be with a man such as Ian. Looks alone he was smoldering.

Making my way to the radio, I turned it on to a classic rock station and flopped down on the couch. This furniture may be old, but it was made for comfort. My mind desperately wanting to shut down and give in to my aching, exhausted body. Just as I was started to doze my phone beeped with a text message alert. Opening it up, it was Ben. Then only person who had my new number.

“Congratulations on the new apartment. You will be missed. I expect an invitation for your fine cooking asap. If you need anything, call.”

Smiling, “Thank you Ben. I will.” Tucking the phone back into my pocket, I fell into a fitful sleep.

Waking up, the clock read 8 p.m. and I was happy that I got in at least four hours. Pulling out my phone it was blinking again. Wondering what Ben could possibly want again I opened it up.

“What the hell did you do to those Walker brothers? Grant has stopped by asking about you and freaked when I told him you moved. Freaked even worse when I didn’t know where. Ian asked about you today and when I told him, that worried look went over his face.”

Opening up message two, “Ian doesn’t get worried Lizzy. He does what has to be done and moves on. He’s been walking around like he’s lost.”

Message three, “You need to at least call Ian. Grant I could care less about.”

That was the last and I really wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe Ian was just worried about my safety. Grant I’m sure was just pushing in trying to win me over. Responding to Ben’s texts, “I’ll call Ian soon.”

“Good.” He responded, immediately texting me his phone number. Sighing, and shaking my head I programmed it into my contact list. Walking into my bedroom, I shoved the bed closer to the window so I could look out of it at night. It faced towards the main street and I could look down right onto it. Searching the roads, I didn’t see any signs of Craig’s car and was hoping that he decided to go back home. With any luck he’ll sign the divorce papers and it’ll all be over soon. Sinking down onto the bed, I again repositioned it to where I could lay comfortably and still see out of the window.

Looking down at my phone that lay beside me on the bed, I wanted to call Ian but I didn’t all at the same time. I didn’t want to get any more attached to him than I felt myself doing. Even though I went through years of high school with him together, I still feel like I am only just now meeting the real Ian. The man behind the walls. How could I care for someone so much in such a short of time? Who was I kidding? I felt a lot more for him than just a mild caring feeling.

The rest of my weekend went fast and I spent Monday cleaning my apartment from top to bottom until you could see your reflection in every surface. My nervous energy propelling me into a virtual cleaning frenzy. I never could bring myself to call Ian and I got several more texts from Ben about how I needed to do so. I only answered him once telling him I was alright. He then told me about Grant blowing up his phone and threatened if I didn’t call Ian soon he was going to give my phone number to both of them. Damn him, I knew he would do it to. I was actually looking forward to trying my hand in the kitchen for the next two weeks. It kept me out of the front away from customers and let me work for the most part by myself.

Tuesday morning came and I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to start my day. As the food orders came in I kept up better than I thought I would. The constant time of cooking and working the grill made the day go faster but I knew I would miss my tips. Luckily the cooks get paid more. I told all the waitresses if anyone came in looking for me that I wasn’t working that day. Most of them didn’t know the difference between Craig, Grant or Ian and I wasn’t about to poke my head out to find out. All of the men extremely handsome. For the most part all the women did know of the Walker brothers and some of the waitresses that were working when they came in, were envious of my visits.

As the two weeks carried on I was coming to the end and would start to waitress soon. At first I was relishing the privacy but now I was really started to miss Ian and Ben. Hell I was even starting to miss Grant. Craig on the other hand hadn’t as far as my knowledge come back around, but I wasn’t going to be so stupid as to put my guard down again. Lesson learned. I did get told that I was asked for a lot by different gentlemen. I’m guessing Grant mostly, maybe Ian. The hours were winding down and I stayed and worked a double when the night cook called in. I still wasn’t sleeping well and everyone was starting to notice. Even Mrs. Taylor had taken notice and was giving me a worried look. The only person besides Ben and the Walker brothers that I confided in about my past, and my worries. Her face always growing soft when Ian was mentioned. I could tell Ian held a special place in her heart. She mentioned many times that she watched the polite little boy grow into a handsome, respectable man. I couldn’t argue any of that. As she was locking up the store I walked out with her deciding to go down to the local pub where my father used to frequent on poker nights when I was a kid. Worried she walked me to the door to make sure I got there alright and made me promise to be careful before leaving.

Walking into the old pub it looked exactly the same as it did when I was a kid. Glancing over at the bar I thought I had dejavu for a second when I glanced at old George. Wasn’t he old when I was a kid? I thought to myself walking over with a smile.

“Are my old eyes playing tricks on me honey? Could this be Lizzy Harris?” He asked with a wide grin on his face, coming around the bar wrapping his arms around me.

“George. It’s so nice to see you again.” Genuinely happy at seeing a familiar face from my childhood.