Once in a Lifetime (15 page)

“And you took your old job back,” Aubrey said, as if reading his mind. “You start soon.”

He laughed low in his throat at the power of Lucky Harbor’s gossip mill. “Leah?” he asked. “Or Ali?”

She laughed, too, a little guiltily, he thought. “Facebook,” she admitted. She paused for a long beat, studying the rec center quietly. “If Hannah were still alive, you’d probably have a bushel of kids enjoying this place by now.”

A few years ago, just the thought would’ve given Ben a stab of pain. But whoever had said that time heals wounds had actually been right. His wounds were healing. Their gazes met. “Most people tiptoe around the subject of my dead wife.”

“I don’t tiptoe very well.”

No, she didn’t. It was wrong of him to even try to compare the two women. It was wrong to compare anyone to Hannah. Especially since, with her death, her image had changed in his mind, and her imperfections had faded. He knew that it was simply a coping technique, and that it probably wasn’t all that healthy. But Hannah had always been his calm, his eye in the storm, his refuge. She’d had such a quiet, soothing energy, and it’d suited his adventurous soul well.

He hadn’t been lying when he told her he’d been with women since Hannah, but his attention wasn’t captured. He’d not been tempted to go for another relationship.

Not once in five years.

So the fact that he was suddenly, irrationally tempted by Aubrey made absolutely no sense to him, not a single lick. Aubrey was…not quiet. Not soothing. She was wild and unpredictable.

Hannah’s virtual opposite.

Aubrey was watching him now, with those hazel eyes that seemed to see far more than he wanted anyone to.

“Show me what you’ve done with the kids here,” she said.

He grimaced. “It’s not all that impressive.”

“Show me.”

He pulled a set of keys from his pocket and opened the door for her. The place was empty, closed up for the night. Leaving the lights off, he took her hand and led her down the darkened hallway to the room he’d been using. The moonlight slanted into the classroom through the wall of windows, illuminating a series of hanging dream catchers. He’d been taught how to make them by the children on a Native American reservation in Montana when he’d been there several years ago after a devastating flood.

“Pretty,” she whispered, standing there in the dark room.

Sadness seemed to come off her in waves. Sadness and…loneliness. God, she was killing him. “Aubrey.”

“You give back,” she whispered. “You were gone for five years, and still you came home to a place that loves you and you found a way to give back to your town.”

“You’re trying to give back,” he said.

She didn’t respond to this, didn’t confirm or deny. Or even move. So he moved instead, closer to her, putting a hand low on her back, letting her know he was there. “Tell me what happened tonight.”

“It’s not important,” she said, and shifted to move away, but he caught her.

“It is to me,” he said. “Talk to me.”

“Sometimes,” she murmured quietly into the night, her head turned away from him, resting on his shoulder. “I feel like a really bad person.”

He stroked a hand down her back, physically aching for her. He’d like to tell her she was a really
great
person, but she wouldn’t believe him. The only thing he could do to coax her out of this mood was to do something he was really good at—which was annoy her. “You’re not all
that
bad,” he said.

She went still, and then snorted. “And maybe you’re not a
total
first-class jerk.”

“Oh, I’m still a first-class jerk.”

She lifted her head. “No,” she whispered.

“
Yes
. Here’s why.” And he kissed her.

A
ubrey was never prepared for what Ben’s kiss did to her. It was like she spent ninety-nine percent of her time walking around in a black-and-white world, and then when he kissed her, colors bled into her vision like a painting.

Not
that she needed a man in order to see or feel. No, she had the ability to do those things all on her own, but it was as if being with Ben reminded her of that.

“I love kissing you,” he breathed, holding her close against his warm, hard body.

And hell if that didn’t melt her bones. “You don’t need to work at charming me,” she said a little breathlessly.

“No?” His mouth made its way to her ear, giving her a delicious shiver when he licked at the sensitive skin just behind her lobe. “Are you already charmed, then?”

“Just about everything you do charms me,” she admitted, goose bumps breaking out all over her body, thanks to his questing mouth. “And we both know I’m a sure thing here tonight. You don’t have to work so hard.”

He met her gaze, his own filled with amusement. “You’re a sure thing? Well, damn, woman, you could’ve told me.”

She laughed, and something about the way joy surged through her, shoving back all the sadness, made her throw herself at him. Literally. She just…jumped him. Fortunately, he had quick reflexes and caught her, though they practically fell to the floor, kissing and groping. Twining her arms around his neck, she pressed her breasts against his broad chest as he kissed her long and deep, with wild, fast abandon. She returned the favor, the both of them panting in the quiet, dark night as they rolled, fighting for the top. She won and straddled him. “This doesn’t change anything,” she panted.

“Agreed,” he said so fast her head spun. Apparently, a small part of her had hoped he’d protest and possibly even say he was rethinking his no-commitment stance. The way
she
was starting to rethink hers…

“We have to hurry,” she said, remembering Pastor Mike and tonight’s AA meeting.

Ben rolled her beneath him. “I don’t like to hurry.”

No kidding. She already knew he liked to take his sweet-ass time. He liked to stop and kiss every inch of her skin, tasting her. Licking her. Kissing her…just the memory made her hot. She had no idea what it was about him that flipped her switch every time, but he did it seemingly without trying. She closed her eyes, but she wanted to see his expression, wanted to let his gaze tell her all the things that his mouth never did, so she opened them again.

Yeah, she flipped his switch, too. A relief. “I have an appointment,” she said. “We
have
to hurry.”

“An appointment?”

Damn Pastor Mike and his charming smile. She checked her watch. Eight o’clock. “I have half an hour,” she said. “So no stupid, wussy foreplay. Just fast, hard action.” She saw his amusement again. “I mean it, Ben.”

“Okay,” he said. “We’ll table the stupid and…
wussy
?” he asked, seeking clarification.

“Yes,” she said impatiently. “Wussy.”

“No stupid, wussy foreplay, then,” he said. “Just fast, hard action. Got it.” He was out-and-out smiling now, but when his gaze settled on her face, he went serious. Intense.

And she went hot, like molten lava. “Now, right?” she asked breathlessly against his mouth.

“Hell, yeah, now.” He rose off her, picking her up with him. Reaching out, he hit the lock on the classroom door.

The bolt sliding home was the only sound in the room other than their accelerated breathing. Holding her gaze, Ben then slid his hand around to the nape of her neck and then into her hair, entangling his fingers, pulling her to him. Eyes on hers, he nudged her up against the waist-high row of cabinets lining one wall.

Ben pressed her into the wall and lowered his mouth to hers, almost but not quite touching. Either he expected her to shove free, or he was building the anticipation. Since she had no intention of shoving him away, and the anticipation had already built to an almost painful degree, she wrapped herself around him.

His soft, knowing laugh echoed in her mouth as he kissed her, and that made her bite his lower lip. Laughing again, he easily took control, holding her still so he could bite her back. Things went a little wild then. She arched into him, trying to make him take action as he ran his hands over her, molding and cupping her to him. Melding them together, the kiss went on and on until she was moaning, helplessly rocking, making him swear and lose some of his tight control. Bunching the hem of her dress in his big palms, he pulled it over her head and tossed it aside.

Her bra went next, and then her panties, leaving her in just her boots.

She went to kick them off, but he stopped her. “Leave them,” he said in a rough voice that gave her a rush. Pulling back, he took in the sight of her leaning against the wall, nude except for the boots, and let out a long breath. “You are so fucking beautiful, Aubrey.”

“Stop that. I said no foreplay.”

“Words are foreplay?”

“When you’re the one speaking the words, they are,” she said.

He arched a brow.

“Oh, please,” she said. “Like you don’t know your voice is an aphrodisiac all by itself. Tell me you’ve got a condom.”

He reached into his pocket and came up with one. His shirt was already unbuttoned—her doing. He smelled like the wood he’d been working with in her store. His eyes were dark and heated; his hair was messy from her fingers. A lock of it fell across his forehead.

Just looking at him was foreplay. Damn it. She unzipped him and yanked him into her, kissing him slow and deep. “Remember,” she murmured against his mouth. “Don’t get attached to me.”

He smiled and nipped at her lower lip again. “How about if I just sink into you?”

Her entire body quivered. “That’s all I’m asking. Hard, Ben. Hard and fast.”

He laughed, but it turned into a rough groan when she rolled the condom down his length. Then he wrestled the control back by whipping her around, bending her over the cabinets, and plunging into her in one deliciously perfect hard stroke. Unable to hold back, she cried out, and he stilled.

“Don’t you dare stop,” she gasped, already halfway there. She only needed a few more strokes. “Please, Ben. Do it. Do me.”

He let out another low laugh, murmuring something that sounded like “You kill me” before giving her what she’d asked for, taking her with an urgency that she knew wasn’t Mr. Fast-Isn’t-My-Style’s usual MO.

But Ben was nothing if not adaptable, not to mention accommodating. She’d said hard, and he gave it to her. Fisting a hand in her hair, he pulled her head back to kiss her, his hand gripping her hip to hold her right where he wanted her.

She melted back into him as he moved inside her, rubbing up against him, making him groan and laugh at the same time. “Killing me,” he murmured again.

She could feel the brutal, tempered strength in his every movement, and in response, her body quivered. So damn close… “Ben—”

“I know,” he said, brushing her ear with his mouth, whispering things—wonderfully wicked, naughty things that nudged her right to the edge. And then the words that knocked her right over that edge. “Come, Aubrey. I want you to come.” And then he slid a hand between her legs to take her there.

She wasn’t all the way back to Earth when he growled out, “You are so hot when you let go,” and, staggeringly, she came again.

Groaning, he dropped his head to her shoulder, sinking his teeth into her as he tensed and followed her over.

Aubrey never did make it to the AA meeting. Ben trailed her home and then spent the long hours of the night showing her just how important foreplay could be, in slow, torturous detail.

And then he showed her again.

And again.

He took her to places she’d never been, right there in her loft. She liked to think that she’d done the same for him, too, remembering how she’d given in to her desire to kiss every inch of his hard body. Halfway down his torso, he’d sunk his fingers into her hair and whispered hoarsely, “Please tell me I ordered the happy ending.”

He’d definitely gotten his happy ending…

She woke up with a start at six thirty the next morning. It wasn’t because Ben was leaving; he’d done that an hour ago to go run. Her phone had awakened her. It was buzzing on her nightstand. It was a text from a number she didn’t recognize. It read:

Aubrey lay back in her bed and smiled. She was so sated and boneless she wasn’t sure she could even get out of bed. But she gave it the old college try and limped over to her notebook. There, she carefully crossed off number six with a satisfied smile on her face.

Except the smile might also be attributed to a certain sexy Ben McDaniel…

By seven, Ben had run with Sam, showered, and was standing at Aubrey’s car, a coffee in each hand.

She staggered out the door at 7:05, and though she looked exhausted, she had a smile on her face as she came to a startled halt at the sight of him.

He didn’t attempt to draw her into conversation, just handed her the coffee. She sipped.

He waited.

She sipped some more. At about the sixty-second mark, she started to show some signs of life.

“Thanks,” she finally said.

“You’re welcome. You’re also welcome for the smile.”

She choked on her coffee. “For your information, the smile is because Judge Sue Henderson has
almost
agreed to let me work with the troubled teen girls at the teen center,” she told him.

“And this made you smile?” He shuddered. “That sounds terrifying.”

She shrugged and then softened. “And okay, maybe
some
of the smile is because of you.”

He felt his own smile slowly crease his face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She hip-bumped him. “As you damn well know already. And while we’re on this subject, why are you here?”

“Thought you might want a driver again today.”

“My car’s running fine now,” she said, then gave him a wary look. “Right?”

“Right. But since the jig is up and I know what you’re up to…”

She didn’t take the bait by responding, nor did she volunteer any new information, so he went on. “You might as well let me drive you.”

“You only
think
you know what I’m up to,” she reminded him.

He shrugged. “Maybe. But I’ve got a full gas tank and you don’t. And even if you won’t admit it, you like my company.”

“Maybe I just like your body.”

“That works, too,” he said easily.

“How do you know my tank’s on empty?”

“Call it a hunch,” he said.

Letting out a breath, she headed toward his truck. He opened the door for her and let her in, then walked around and slid behind the wheel.

“I know what I get out of this,” she said. “But what do you get out of it?”

“Your sunny and sweet disposition?”

She laughed, which made his morning.

“Maybe I like your company, too,” he said.

She glanced over at him as if searching for sarcasm. He let her look, because for once he wasn’t feeling sarcastic.

She pulled out her list. “I need to go to the nursery.”

He headed in that direction, neither of them speaking, though the silence was easy. Five minutes later he’d pulled into the nursery parking lot.

Aubrey didn’t move to get out of the truck. “Something that has nothing to do with my list—I had a crush on you in high school.”

Surprised, he turned in his seat and looked at her. She looked at him right back. It just might have been the most real thing she’d ever said to him, right after what she’d so sweetly whispered in his ear last night—
Please, Ben, please don’t stop, you feel so good
…

“I know.”

She stared at him for a beat, and then, looking mortified, fumbled with the door handle.

He hit the
AUTO LOCK
button.

“Damn it. Let me go.”

He’d done a lot of that in his life—letting go. He didn’t feel like doing it this time.

Aubrey fought the door, but he’d been fast with the locks. When she figured out how to unlock the door, he simply hit
AUTO LOCK
again. He’d always been damn fast. He gave off that laid-back vibe, but he could move like lightning. His hand slid up her arm to her neck.

“Don’t,” she whispered. She didn’t want him to be nice. She couldn’t handle nice.

But of course he didn’t listen. Instead he turned her to face him, his expression dialed to confusion.

Stupid male race. They never understood. “I’m embarrassed,” she explained.

This appeared to confuse him even more. “Why?” he asked. “You were damn hot in high school. It’s just that you were a few years behind me, and I was with Hannah.”

She closed her eyes for a beat. “The way you looked at me last night? Back then, I’d have done anything to have you look at me like that.”

“Nothing about that time can be changed,” he said with a painful gentleness that made her want to run far and wide. “But we’re here now.”

“We’re here now.” She stared up at him, because suddenly
she
was the confused one. “What does that mean?”

“We’re…” He trailed off.

She waited, but he didn’t say more. She knew she should remain quiet and force him to fill the silence, but the suspense was killing her. “We’re what?
Together
?” she asked, heart pounding, pounding, pounding.

He rubbed his jaw, and the sound of his stubble seemed loud in the truck interior.

And sexy.

But the movement was a tell, a rare show of uncertainty from a man who always knew his next move. “We’re what?” she asked again, needing to know with a shocking desperation.

“We’re…” He blew out a breath. “Hell if I know.”

Fair enough, she supposed. “Wait here?” she asked, pausing while he hit unlock before sliding out of the truck. She shook the sexy Mr. McDaniel from her thoughts—as if it were that easy—and walked into the nursery, where she asked for Dusty Barren.