Once Upon a Crime (The Sisters Grimm, Book 4) (9 page)

"You little--!" Sabrina sputtered. "I'm trying to protect us."

"No you're not! You're trying to protect yourself. You haven't once asked me what I want. You're a… jerkazoid and I don't need you. I'll be a fairy-tale detective all by myself!" Daphne turned and stomped out of the room, slamming the bathroom door behind her.

Soaked to the bone, Sabrina climbed out of the shower, took off her clothes, and put on one of the fancy white robes the hotel had left hanging on the back of the door. She wrapped her head in a towel and thought about what her sister had just said. Daphne was mad, but Sabrina would make her understand. She was doing this for both of them.

The little girl had left the shoebox sitting on the toilet tank. Sabrina picked it up and opened the lid. The photos were the embarrassing bathtub shots that parents love to take and kids wished would be lost in a fire. But they made Sabrina smile. They represented happier times. She flipped through the yellowing love letters, tied in a small red ribbon, and then opened the pink wallet. Inside was her mother's driver's license, some expired credit cards, a couple of pictures of her father, and a photo of Veronica sitting with her daughters. Sabrina and Daphne had their faces painted with stars and rainbows and were smiling. Sabrina remembered that day clearly. Her mother had taken them to a fair held at the South Street Seaport--it had been a good day.

It was odd to hold something her mother had owned. The girls didn't have a single item from their old lives; even their clothes were gone. Sabrina lifted the wallet to her nose and sniffed deeply, hoping to find some hint of her mother's perfume, but all she could smell was old leather.

With her sister not talking to her and Moth shooting her angry looks, Sabrina turned to the book her grandmother had given her when they had arrived in the city.

A Midsummer Nights Dream was a play, starring Puck and his obnoxious parents. Cobweb and Moth were in it as well. Though the old-fashioned writing was challenging, it didn't take a brain surgeon to realize Shakespeare had his hands full with Oberon and Titania. He described them both as petty, jealous, and manipulative. Apparently, Sabrina realized, nothing had changed in the four hundred plus years since the play had been written.

When Granny returned to the room, Mr. Canis was with her. Except for a glimpse that morning, Sabrina hadn't seen him since the night before. She was shocked at his appearance. He had grown several inches in height and packed on twenty pounds of muscle. His shock of white hair now had brown streaks in it and he had what looked like the definite beginnings of a beard and mustache. Sabrina knew what was happening to the old man. Lately, whenever he tapped into the Big Bad Wolf's power, he lost a little more of himself. She wondered what the family would do when there was no more of Mr. Canis to lose, but she said nothing. Granny didn't mention anything either, and acted as if all was well. She was eager to get back on the case and urged the girls to hurry and put on their coats, hats, and mittens.

Most of the day was spent scurrying from one neighborhood to the next, hoping beyond hope that they would stumble upon an Everafter. Bess had given them plenty of leads but all had been dead ends. Still, Granny Relda was determined. She must have poked her head into every dark restaurant and creepy alley in Manhattan. They spoke to dozens of street people, who knew more neighborhood secrets than anyone else. Many were homeless, and Granny Relda thanked them all for their time and information with five-dollar bills, insisting they use the money to put something warm in their bellies. But none of their tips led the family to Everafters. The closest the detectives got was discovering a man wearing a wedding dress riding a multicolored bicycle around Washington Square Park. He turned out to be human.

With Mr. Hamstead and Bess no doubt sharing a romantic meal somewhere, the rest of the investigators decided to stop for an early dinner at a small Chinese restaurant called the Happy Duck. As they went inside, Sabrina noticed eight roasted ducks hanging in the window and wondered if they were all that happy.

The restaurant was the kind of place where the menu was as big as a phone book, the staff spoke little English, and the tables were crowded together. The waiters eyed Puck's cocoon and pinched their noses in disgust as the group made their way to a table in the back near a huge fish tank. Daphne ordered for the whole table, and enough food for several others, and Sabrina relaxed, thinking the meal would be a welcome, cheering break from tramping through the snow. But Granny snuck off to make a phone call halfway through the feast; Mr. Canis sat silently throughout with his eyes closed, breathing in and out in a slow pattern; Puck's cocoon kept rubbing up against Sabrina, drenching her in sticky goo; Daphne was still not talking to her; and Moth refused to eat, saying the food was a travesty and unfit for pigs. It was the most uncomfortable meal of Sabrina's entire life. She couldn't have been more relieved when her grandmother returned to the table.

"Your Uncle Jacob says everything is well," Granny said.

"Has he found a way to wake up Mom and Dad?" Sabrina asked, hopefully.

Granny shook her head. "He said he was trying every magical potion we have in the house. Unfortunately, he's had to abandon the place for a couple of days."

"Why? What happened?"

"He made the mistake of giving Elvis a plate of sausage."

Giving their dog Elvis sausage was a big no-no. It did bad things to the two-hundred-pound Great Dane. Very bad, very smelly things. The last time Daphne had given him sausage they'd almost had to move.

"I miss Elvis," the little girl said. She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her protruding belly. "Look at me. I'm having a baby. I'm going to name him Number 15 with Egg Roll."

Granny laughed.

"Liebling, you've got food all down the front of your shirt. Let me take you into the bathroom and clean you up."

Daphne shrugged as if she didn't care but followed the old woman anyway.

"I believe I would like to wash my hands," Mr. Canis said, and got up as well. Unfortunately, that left Sabrina and Moth alone. Sabrina tried to ignore the fairy girl but Moth's angry eyes were boring into her.

"Let's make something clear, human," Moth said. "If you attempt to interfere in my relationship with Puck you will regret it. He is my fiancee!"

"Listen, I don't want your fiancee. I'm eleven. I'm not even allowed to have a boyfriend, so when Puck finally crawls out of his icky ball you can be sure he's all yours."

"You do not love him?" Moth said.

"NO!" Sabrina said a little too loudly. She looked around the room and felt every eye on her, including those of Mr. Canis, who was waiting in line for the bathroom. He had a smile on his face, but when she shot him an angry look it disappeared, and he went back to studying the ceiling.

"I do not want anything to confuse Puck when he finally reconsiders Oberon's choice," Moth said.

"What are you talking about? What is Oberon's choice?"

"Me,

I am Oberon's choice. He selected me to be Puck's bride," Moth said.

"What do you mean he selected you?"

"It's called the father's privilege. Fairy fathers choose their son's mates."

"Oh, I bet Puck loved that! I wish I could have seen his face when his dad made that announcement!"

Moth snarled, and Sabrina realized the girl took the subject very seriously.

"So then what happened?" Sabrina asked.

"The prince was confused…"

"You mean he dumped you," Sabrina said.

"He made a mistake and, unfortunately, his father punished him for it. Puck was banished from Faerie. That was more than ten years ago and we hadn't heard from him… until yesterday," Moth said.

"He's been stuck in Ferryport Landing. It's like a big roach motel. You can check in but you can't check out," Sabrina said. "From what I know of him you shouldn't be too upset he left. Puck would drive you crazy. You're better off without him."

"How dare you!" Moth cried. "King Puck is a great fairy."

"Sorry," Sabrina said. "But I have to ask you, if he left town to avoid getting married once, why do you think things are going to be different this time?"

Moth snarled but said nothing.

"Well, I hope it works out for you," Sabrina said sarcastically. "The Trickster King is a real catch."

The two girls sat in silence until the others returned to the table.

"Who wants some lychee ice cream?" Daphne cried. "You're still hungry?" Mr. Canis asked. "I'm still awake, aren't I?"

While everyone looked over the dessert menu, Sabrina took her mother's little pink wallet out of her pocket and flipped it open. She stole a peek at her mom's picture. Just then she noticed a small flap hidden behind the photo. She opened it, stuck her fingers inside, and pulled out an oddly colored business card. It was dark blue and covered in little moons and stars and had an inscription:

Scrooges Financial and Spiritual Advice Affordable Rates! 18 West 18th Street Voted Best Psychic by

Time Out New York

Magazine

Sabrina flipped the card over and discovered handwriting on the other side.

Veronica, stop by anytime. I owe you one! E. Scrooge

"What did you find?" Granny Relda asked.

"Just some old business card in my mother's wallet," Sabrina said, handing it over. "I think it's for a psychic or something."

Granny read the inscription and a big grin filled her face. "Sabrina, for someone who doesn't want to be a detective you're very good at it. You just found an important clue!"

Sabrina was dumbfounded. "Clue? It's just a card for some scam artist."

"Maybe, maybe not," the old woman said, waving the card like it was a winning lottery ticket. "But whether he's the real deal doesn't matter. What's important is that he's an Everafter and we've got his address!"

Daphne took the card and read the inscription. "What makes you think he's an Everafter?"

"Look at the name on the card--E. Scrooge!"

"Yeah, so?" Sabrina said.

"E. Scrooge… as in Ebenezer Scrooge," Granny said. "The guy from

A Christmas Carol?"

Daphne said as she prepared her palm for biting. "The one and only," Granny said. Daphne bit down hard.

* * *

Eighteenth Street was a pothole-riddled road in a part of town called Chelsea. As the group made their way to Scrooge's shop, they passed an art supply store, a vintage record outlet, a children's bookstore, and several places where a person could buy mannequins and sewing machine parts. Scrooge's Financial and Spiritual Advice was in the middle of the block. In the grimy window was an enormous green-neon sign with an eye that blinked every few moments below the words SPIRITS AND SAVINGS BONDS.

Sabrina studied the sign for a moment, running through everything she knew about Scrooge in her mind. Charles Dickens had documented the story: A greedy businessman was visited by the ghosts of Christmas. She had seen the musical at Madison Square Garden when she was little and clearly remembered Scrooge as a nasty old man.

The waiting room was crowded with some of the strangest people Sabrina had ever seen. They wore what could only be called holiday-themed costumes, from every holiday imaginable--patriotic uniforms with sparklers, bright emerald suits covered in shamrocks, turkey costumes, cupid outfits--there was even a guy wearing a big paper top hat and a pair of glasses that read HAPPY NEW YEAR.'

The family approached an empty desk at the far end of the room. A little sign on top read TIM CRATCHIT. Next to it was a silver bell with another sign that read RING BELL FOR SERVICE. Granny tapped it lightly, sending a chiming sound into the air.

"I'll be right out!" a voice shouted from behind a closed door near the desk. The voice was followed by a mechanical sound, like an engine, and another noise, like something heavy had crashed into a box of fine china. Moments later, a kid with a round face and freckles appeared in the doorway on a motorized chair. He seemed to have no control over the machine and he repeatedly slammed it into the doorframe. After several minutes of labored backing up, and then failed efforts to roll forward, he finally got the chair through the narrow doorway. Unfortunately, his problems didn't stop there. Once he entered the room, he slammed the chair into the desk and sent it crashing to the floor.

"Blast it!" the kid shouted in a thick English accent. He tried to pull the desk upright and nearly tipped himself onto the floor in the process. Exhausted just from watching him, Sabrina stepped in and lifted the desk upright. Once the boy was comfortably situated, the waiting room crowd rushed forward, jostling the investigators to the back of the line. Everyone began arguing at once.

"I have to be somewhere in fifteen minutes," said the man wearing New Year's glasses. He took a small plastic horn out of his mouth and gave it an angry toot.

"Well, I was here first," a giant complained as he pushed himself to the front. He was covered in leaves and pinecones and smelled like a forest.

Tim Cratchit whistled loudly and the crowd grew silent. "Are any of you paying customers?"

"C'mon, Tim!" an enormous man in a bunny suit said. "We've been waiting all day."

"And you'll wait all night!" Tim cried. "You buggers show up anytime you please. Mr. Scrooge is a busy man and hasn't the time to waste on a bunch of penniless layabouts."

"Uh, we've got money," Granny said.

Tim's eyes searched for her in the crowd and then he smiled. "Are you alive?" Sabrina and Daphne eyed each other. "Last time I checked," Sabrina said.

"Well, I can't just take your word for it," Tim said as he accidentally pushed a button that sent the chair slamming into the desk again. "We're very busy here and we only have time for paying and living customers."

His words caused the crowd to erupt in protest.

"You want proof that we're alive?" Mr. Canis asked as he and the others approached the desk. "How do we do that?"

The boy reached over to Sabrina and Daphne and gave them both painful pinches on the arm. They yelped angrily and Daphne kicked the boy's chair.