Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles) (11 page)

“Well I’ve never-” she said and started doing up
the button to my pants.  I picked her up.  She wrapped her legs around my waist
in her naked glory and I allowed her to direct me toward her bedroom.

As I stepped inside her room, I was engulfed with
all scents that comprised the woman in my arms.

Her nimble fingers undid the button that sent my
pants tumbling to the floor while I pulled my shirt over my head.  I laid her
down on top of the covers and removed my underwear, towering above her.  I
rolled on the condom I had in my pocket and met her gaze and held it.  She
extended her hand and I took it crawling upright on both knees between her
legs, using my free hand to rub up the bare skin of her side.

I released her hand and came to a hover above her.

“You’re beautiful,” I said and dipped my head to
take her lips softly with mine.  Her hands trailed down my front, leaving a
trail of fire that made me shudder when she reached my throbbing cock.  She
took it in her hand, guided me to her entrance and with her legs wrapped around
me, she squeezed them forcing me inside her.  I moaned in her mouth at her directed
invasion to her swollen core.

I stayed there, unmoving, while we indulged in
each other’s mouths.  Her legs slid off my hips and rubbed down the back of my
calves.  She smiled on my lips, contracting those internal muscles of hers.  I
got the hint and pulled back to thrust in hard causing her to grunt from my
force.

“I’ve missed this,” I said, “I’ve missed you, so
much.”

“Show me…please, Pax.”

We found a slow and sensual rhythm, enjoying the
feel of one another, getting reacquainted.  She kissed my chest as I looked
down, revelling in her softer side and I felt the tug at my heart.  I brought
my face down into the juncture between her neck and shoulder.  I could feel her
small spasms as my balls tightened.

She cried out my name.

Aiming to take us over the edge and leaving us in
a puddle of spent energy, I thrust with purpose until I shattered with
completion and joined her in post-coital bliss.

“Alissa,” I said, my face sinking into the pillow
next to her head.  That satisfied sigh she let out made me want to give her a
repeat performance and then some.

I pulled out, Alissa groaning her displeasure.  My
shaft was still hard and as I wiped myself up and proceeded to pump myself as
she watched, I made the call.  “Sweetheart, I don’t think we’ll be making
dinner tonight.”

“Damn.”  Her eyes rolled and she smirked up at me. 
“What do you have in mind?”

“On all fours…
now
.”  The woman moved as if
my word was law.

“I love it when you’re demanding,” she said, “it’s
so...”  My dick nudged her pussy’s entrance and she rocked hard toward the back
as I began to piston into her with animalistic fervor, “sexy.”

When my balls tightened and I knew that this was
it.  With the flick of my finger on her clit, she exploded around me causing me
to follow her into oblivion.

We collapsed to the mattress and I moved to her
side so I didn’t crush her.  I kissed the back of her shoulder.

“Hungry?” she asked.

“I am now,” I said.

***

The rest of the evening was perfect except for the
incessant ringing of Alissa’s cell-phone.  After the fifth time her office had
called, and she’d pushed them to voice mail, she apologized and turned the
device off, leaving it on the kitchen counter.

Alissa handed me a drink before sitting herself
down and cuddling into my side to relax after eating.

I looked down to find her eyes closed and asked,
“Tired?”

“I’m just comfortable,” she said.

She opened her eyes and looked up at me.  Those
doe eyes of hers had me captivated.  I kissed her forehead before smiling down
at her.

“I should bring you back with me,” I said and
tightened my hold on her.

She smiled.  “Why’s that?”

“You could clearly use some time away.  And
there’s the fact that Jasper asked that I bring him back something and I think
the only thing he’d be happy with right now is you,” I said.  “I’d have to say
that having you nearby would make things easier.”

I couldn’t be any more honest about that statement. 
Over the last month, our weekly pancake Skype dates had become a staple for the
three of us.  I loved the interaction between Alissa and Jasper about as much
as I loved being with her.

The woman was incredible with my son.  There was
even a night a few weeks ago, where I had tried to lull my little guy with a
couple of bedtime stories and viewing that photo book Alissa had made him.  It
was past ten o’clock and he refused to go to bed without speaking with her
first since we had missed that weekend’s pancake date due to her being out of
town.  I didn’t know that the tyke could miss someone that much with such a
short stent of knowing them and it cut me.  I gave in, calling her.  It had
been the only thing that worked and thankfully, my boy had fallen asleep before
we had hung up.  Since then, every so often, I’d call her just so Jasper and
she could talk.  The weekly Skype dates were no longer enough for my
four-year-old boy either.

“I love that boy.”  She absentmindedly rubbed a
hand over my chest.

“I think I might have some competition,” I said
and clasped her wandering hand.

“Poor guy,” she looked up at me, “how will you
ever move on?”

I laughed.  “Move on?”  I pushed her back onto the
couch and covered her body with mine as I began tickling her sides.  Her
playful giggle was contagious and I found myself laughing about as loud as she
was.

“P-Pax!” she said, “s-stop!  I c-can’t breathe!”

“I don’t have to move on, you’re mine and I’m
staking my claim right here, right now,” I said laughing.

“W-what?” she said between winded giggles.  My
tickles stopped and I pulled back.

“You heard me,” I said.  “You know Jasper, he
never quits until he gets what he wants.  Where do you suppose he gets that
from?”

“Are you asking me to break a four-year-olds’
heart by telling him he can’t have me because I love his daddy?”  Just as quick
as she’d said it, she slapped a hand to her mouth.  “Oh, God!”  Her face turned
a bright crimson.  She rushed to push me back and get out from under me.

“Oh, no you don’t,” I said.  First, I grabbed her
thighs and pulled her back down so we were face-to-face.  The second thing I
did was grab her wrist to pull her hand away from her mouth and then the other
one to pin them both on either side of her head so she couldn’t escape me.

“Pax,” she said, her head shaking from side to
side, “I’m-”

“Don’t say it,” I warned.  I knew that she was
going to try and take it back.

“It’s too soon, it’s too much…dammit, why did I
have-”

I kissed her hard, that cute scrunching of her
nose that she does to go along with her flustered ramblings had been too much.

“Shut up,” I said against her lips.  I nuzzled her
nose.

“I-”

“Alissa,” I pulled away so I could see her face
and I sighed, “honey, calm down.”

I released her wrists and framed her face with my
hands.

“But-” I hushed her up with my lips again.  I
poured every ounce of what I felt for this woman into my kiss as her lips moved
in sync with mine.

When I pulled away from her, her eyes were hazed
and a shaky breath fanned over my face.  I smiled.

“Please don’t take it back,” I said, my fingers
brushed her cheek as I stared into her eyes.  “You have no idea how relieved I am.”

“Why?”

“I feel the same way,” I said.  “How couldn’t I? 
It took you to be around Jasper for what, less than five minutes before he
adopted you as his new best friend?  Watching you two together…” I swallowed
the lump in my throat.  “I never thought he would bond with any other woman but
his own mother, I think it’s impossible not to fall for you.  I never asked for
this to happen, nor did you but it did, Allie.”  I took a deep breath.  “You
have the largest heart out of anyone I know, excluding my mother of course.” 
She laughed.  “You’ve been there for me when most would have run.  You faced
off with Julie without knowing how you truly felt about me, about us.  You have
no idea how you affect people with-”

Her hand stopped me before our lips collided in a
short kiss.

“Shh,” she said, “I get it.”

“Damn, I love you,” I said.

She grinned.  “I think we’ve established that.” 
She pushed me back so she could sit down facing me.  I pulled her so she was
back into the crook of my arm and smiled at her before kissing her forehead.

“How ‘bout that movie?” I asked.

“I think I’d rather go to bed and have you hold
me.”

My smile broadened into a grin and I said, “I
think that can be arranged.”

I was on fire.  Everything burned.  As the fog
subsided from my mind, I knew for a fact that whatever was happening right now
was far from a dream.  
Fucking hell!
  My ears picked up the slightest
slurping sound.  She hummed around me and then when she grazed her teeth along
the length of my shaft, my hips shot up off the mattress.

“Oh, God,” I said, “Alissa.”

She increased her rhythm once I spoke, her
fingernails scraping my abs, adding to the quickly overwhelming sensations.

I cursed the sheets that she was hidden under.  I
would have appreciated watching her please me.  My mind set itself to work,
conjuring up the scene.  I pictured her blonde hair, wild as if a hurricane had
swooped in, her lips swollen from the friction against my length, her face
flushed from her efforts.  The more I thought about it, the more the image
became vivid, taking a life of its own.  The tense urge to explode grew with
her every stroke.

“Oh,” I said drawled out, I tried to hold off on
my release, wanting to prolong the bliss if only for a little while but the
woman knew what she was doing.  With one last hum, a few lashes of her tongue
and some suction around the tip- “Fuck, Allie!”  I shot off like a rocket.

She made her way back up, trailing kisses from my
stomach, to my chest, my neck and nibbled on my jaw.  I was aching for a taste
of her seductive mouth.

“That’s one hell of a wake up call,” I said huskily
when she zoned in for my lips.

“I thought you’d appreciate it,” she said. 
“Breakfast?”

I kissed her hard and quick.  “Yeah.”

She made her way to the bathroom shoving a satin
baby blue nighty over her head.

We hadn’t been half-way through our morning meal when
my cell’s shrilling ring-tone filled the air.  I gave Alissa an apologetic
look, got up and kissed her on the top of her head.  “I’ll be right back,” I
said.  She nodded and I rushed to take the call to which I didn’t recognize the
number to.  “Hello?”

“Paxton, it’s Julie,” she said.

One word summed her tone:
panic
.

“What’s happened?”

The woman broke down.  Worry overwhelmed me.  Had something
happened to Jasper, to her, maybe it was about the baby?  My empathic nature
was wreaking havoc on my reasoning and sense couldn’t be made with the lack of
information.

I gave the woman a minute to get her bearings and
then repeated myself.  “Julie, I can’t guess.  What’s going on, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Jasper, Paxton, he’s in the hospital,” she
said.

My butt hit the couch’s arm rest.  “What?” I asked. 
“When, what happened?”

“We had to come back home last night because he
wasn’t feeling well and then he started acting weird, complained of a
headache.  He could barely walk, Pax.  I gave him medicine for the fever but it
didn’t work.  There was nothing I could do.  The doctors don’t seem to know anything
right now either.  They’re running tests to see what it could be but it’s all
they’re telling me.”

“And you’re just calling me now?” I asked with
fury.  “I’m coming back.”

“
Back
?  Back from where?  Where are you
Paxton?”

“It doesn’t matter.  Why’d you wait until now to
call me?” I asked again.  “I’m on my way.”

“Okay,” she said.

Silence filled the line for a few beats.  “Julie,
he’s going to be fine, right?”

“Pax, just get here.”  She sniffled.  “I’ve got to
go.”

I shut my phone and let it drop to the floor.  I
had to get back home and fast.

“Is everything alright?” Alissa asked, making me
jump at the sound of her voice.  I’d been sitting there with my head hanging in
my hands as I tried to make sense of what Julie had told me.

“Sorry,” I mumbled and lifted my head to face her.

“Oh my, God, Paxton!  What’s wrong?”  She rushed
to me.  I hadn’t realized that I’d been crying until her fingers swept across
my cheeks and came away glistening.

My mind was playing tricks on me, causing me to
presume the worst.  No news from a doctor wasn’t a good thing when it came to finding
a diagnosis.  Not in my opinion.

She cradled my head into her chest and wrapped her
arms around me.  A gentle hand rubbed my back as I clutched onto her for
support I hadn’t a clue I needed so desperately.

“That was Julie…it’s Jasper, Allie,” I said and I
felt her tense up in my arms.  “He’s in the hospital and he’s very sick.  The
doctors don’t know what it is yet.”

“You have to go back, Pax,” she said.

I nodded.  “He’s never been this sick,” I said. 
“He’s never been inside a hospital since the day he was born.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine in no time,” she said but
I could hear the fear in her voice.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, pulling away with my
head bowed.

“For what, for loving your son and being man
enough to be there for him?  I can find worse reasons to leave, honey,” she
said and tilted my head so she could look me in the eyes.  “If you didn’t go, I
would question the man you are.”

“Thank you,” I said.  “I promise I’ll make it up
to you.”

“There’s no making up, sweetie, Jasper comes
first,” she said and she grabbed my hand to pull me toward the kitchen.  I
stood rooted to the spot my feet were in and pulled her back to me.

“I think I love you more this morning,” I said and
smiled solemnly before kissing her forehead.

She rolled her eyes.  “Just when I thought it was
impossible.  Now, let’s get you fed and to the airport, mister.”

***

Five hours later, I entered the hospital lobby
with my carry-on bag and the determination to locate my son.  I spotted the
greeting desk and rushed to it.  “Excuse me,” I said, “my son was admitted last
night and-”

“Name please,” she said in a detached manner.

Can you be any more robotic?
  “Lowell, Jasper
Lowell.”

The woman typed in the information in her computer
and ran a quick scan.  I bit my tongue, the urge to tell her to hurry up a
little too potent and then she looked up.  “He’s in the pediatric unit.  Just
go down this hall, take the elevator on your right to the third floor and the
nurse at the desk will be able to help you from there,” she said, pointing in
the direction I should take.

Nodding my appreciation, I took off as quick as my
feet could take me without breaking into a run.

Jasper was sleeping.  His tiny four-year-old form
was as white as the sheets that covered him.  If it weren’t for the shiny gleam
of sweat glistening on his forehead and the beeping of the monitoring devices,
he’d look like Death had taken him.  Todd had his arms wrapped around Julie by
the room’s window, their backs to me.  I cleared my throat as I approached.

“Where the hell have you been, you said you’d be
right over,” Julie accused.   Her eyes were puffy and her makeup had run down
her face.

“Now’s not the time, Jewels,” Todd said, rubbing
her shoulders.

“No, I want to know,” she said and crossed her
arms.

“I agree with Todd, it doesn’t matter where I was,
all that matters is that I’m here,” I said and looked at Jasper.

My eyes stung for the third time today as tears
threatened to spill over.  I made my way to him.  I grabbed his clammy hand while
I sat on the stool beside the bed.  Kissing the top of it, I leaned my head on
the edge of the mattress.

After a very silent minute, pregnant with far too
much despair and whirling thoughts, none too pleasant or positive, I looked up
and over to the other side of the gurney where Todd and Julie were now standing. 
“Any news since you called me?” I asked.

Julie shook her head.

“The doctor should be in soon with the latest test
results,” Todd said.

I pointed to the electrodes hooked up to my son’s
now shaved head.  “What are all these?”

“They’re running neurological tests,” Todd said and
Julie had begun to cry again.

I looked at Julie and said, “Am I missing
something here?  This is worse than you made it seem. 
This
is not just
a fever and odd behavior.”

Before I could be granted an explanation, I heard
a throat clearing.

I turned to face a young doctor and got up to
shake his hand.  “Mr. Lowell I presume?” he asked.  I nodded.  “I’m Doctor
Messing.  I’m the lead on your son’s case.”

“Doctor, what’s going on?”

“I’m afraid it’s not good news,” he said and my
heart sunk along with my butt which happened to hit the stool I had just
vacated.  “Based on our current treatment regimen, nothing seems to be
working.  We can control his fever for the most-part but we needed to run a
battery of tests to find out where this fever has come from.  We initially thought
that Jasper might have dementia but we’ve since ruled it out.  I suspected meningitis
and with the help of our neurological tests and an extensive review of the
basic blood-work, we’ve proven it but I-”

“Then what’s the problem?” I asked.

“I’ve never seen a case like this before and
before I give you an outright answer, I’d like to confer with my colleagues
about my suspicions,” he said.

“
What
are your suspicions, Doc?” I asked.

“I don’t think that Jasper is suffering from
meningitis alone, his symptoms are too broad and don’t fall in with the
disease’s historical findings.  I think we’re dealing with multiple diseases,
here,” he said.  “Give me until the end of the day, the next twenty-four hours
at the most.  We’d like to run an MRI as well as perform a spinal tap to help
us along with my suspected conclusions.  Those results should be in by the time
they finish running the rest of the bloods we’ve collected within the last
hour, provided that the lab isn’t overrun.  I assure you that we’re being as
thorough as we possibly can be.”

“Do what you have to,” I said but the doctor’s
words hadn’t made me feel any better.  Meningitis was bad enough on its own. 
Two
diseases?  Fuck!
  Answers were better than nothing but there were still too
many holes to really relax and feel reassured that Jasper would be okay.  He
sure as hell didn’t look it.

***

The day had come to pass and Doctor Messing walked
through Jasper’s room’s door.  I had watched as multiple medical personnel had
come and gone, jotting short notes in his chart, adjusting his fluids, switching
parameters on the machines, pushing, poking, prodding at my son like he was
some sort of pin cushion.  No one had anything to say about his progress or a
definitive diagnosis and it wore me to the last of my frayed nerves.

Inept—the thought of the word, the reality that
the definition suited me to a
T
drove me insane.  To not be able to do
anything to help Jasper had always been but a blip on my radar where realities
were concerned.  It was my job as his father to mend all the wounds, to kiss
and wipe those tears away and make sure that he smiled.  Now, he was just a
small mass atop a hospital bed looking like the reaper was well on his way to
fetch him, completely at the mercy of an outsider’s professional knowledge.

“So?” Todd asked as Julie and I got up to stand
beside him and face the facts.

The man’s face was ashen and that’s when I knew
that his
think tank
conclusion hadn’t panned out so well.  We had a name
to what was plaguing Jasper, in conjunction to his meningitis—Juvenile
Myelomonocytic Leukemia or JMML.

All I had heard was
leukemia
.  That was
enough.  “Cancer?”  My voice cracked.

Messing nodded.  “It’s a disease that is hard to
cure and affects children from birth to the age of four, not like the type you
often hear about,” he said.  “I’m afraid that things are a bit more complicated
with the fact that Jasper here has meningitis which is why his symptoms pointed
to so many possibilities.”  In mere minutes, he’d managed to twist and stomp on
my heart as he went on about prognosis, treatment plans, even handing us a
pamphlet to leaf through in order to know more about what to expect as the
parent of a child with JMML.  “I’m sorry.  I’ll be here throughout the night
should you need me to answer any more questions.  I know this is a lot to
digest and so I suggest-”

“Doctor,” I said and Messing turned to face me,
“how long does he-”
  God, I can’t even say the words.

“With meningitis as a major player here, I won’t
lie,” he said, “we need to treat that and get rid of it as soon as possible. 
The good news is that he seems to be responding well to the treatment so far. 
If it were strictly the JMML, as rare as this type of leukemia can be for a kid
Jasper’s age, seeing as he’s at the top of the age cusp, your son can be around
for another few years but that also depends on the aggressiveness of his
disease, barring any other complication that could come his way.  I’m
presenting you with the average life expectancy but know that time could be
longer like it could be shorter.  No two patients are alike, sir.  The
important thing to know here is that you have options for treatment, there’s
still hope.”

I nodded and said, “And what about quality of life,
will he be stuck here the whole time?”

“We’ll talk more about it when we get him
stabilized on his meds and his meningitis is no longer a threat,” he said.  “With
JMML, Jasper will be more susceptible to infections as like with most cancer and
immuno-challenged patients, which could compromise his progress.  I know the
reality of having Jasper remain in the hospital is tough to swallow but if it
ensures his survival, wouldn’t you want to take that chance?  Then again, I’ve
seen patients respond incredibly well by being surrounded with what’s familiar
to them, especially in the younger age groups so I’ll be sure to keep you
posted on when and if he can go home.”  Doctor Messing looked at each and every
one of us.  He knew he wasn’t painting the best of pictures.  “Again, I’m truly
sorry but as the days go on, we’ll know more about what to expect for your
little guy.”