Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles) (3 page)

Julie.  Talk about a proverbial
bucket of iced water.

I need to tell her.

Here she was, single, hot and
ready and even though she knew of my separation, I felt like a cheat
.

A moron.

A liar.

Yeah, definitely a lying cheat of a moron.

“I can’t do this,” I said and took a step back, my
gaze averted.

Her hands froze and she slumped back to sit on her
knees.  “Why?”  The look of complete confusion mixed with rejection and
disappointment on her face just about did me in.

What had I done?

I dropped to my knees in front of her and grabbed
her hands before she could move away from me.

I sighed.  “Let me explain.”  She stayed silent
and unmoving.  “Promise me you won’t leave until you’ve heard me out.”  She
gave me a hesitant nod.  “Allie, there’s something I need to talk to you about
before anything can happen here.”

She pulled her hands away and covered her mouth. 
“Oh, God,” she said, “you still love her, don’t you?”

“What?  Alissa, no!”

“Oh,” she said and looked down at her clasped
hands, “then what is it?”

“No matter how I try to word it in my head, it
never comes out right,” I said as I rubbed my face with both hands.

“Pax, you’re making me nervous here.”

And I’m a world class jackass. 
“I’m still
married,” I blurted and I took her silence as a vantage point.  “I mean, we’re
not together in any sense of the word-”

“Except for the legal sense,” she snickered dryly
and crossed her arms over her chest.  Okay, so sarcasm was warranted and so was
her defensive posture.  “Pax, why would you let me think that you were divorced? 
You said-”

“I didn’t.  Well, I guess I did but not
deliberately.  I never thought that this,” I pointed between her and me, “would
ever happen.  Truth is I should be divorced by now.”

“But it is happening, Paxton.”  She sighed.  “Were
you ever going to tell me if we hadn’t gone this far?  What else is there, why
would you think you’d be divorced,
why
aren’t you?”

“I planned on telling you when everything was
finalized,” I said.  “A few months after our separation, I filed the papers.  That
was the day you learned about the divorce.  I didn’t think there’d be an issue,
I mean, Julie had a boyfriend and it seemed pretty cut and dry.  You would
think-”

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re still
married to her though, does it?”  Her tone had taken an accusatory edge.  She
was pissed and rightly so.

“I’m not the one who’s refusing to sign,” I said. 
“My parts been done, the day the papers were done up, I swear, Allie.”

“So it’s her?”  I nodded.  “Why?”

“Julie can be a vindictive woman.  Whenever I’ve
asked her about the papers, there’s always a different reason, reasons that
don’t make sense to me,” I said.  “What’s worse is that she likes to use Jasper
as a bargaining chip.  I don’t want to lose my son, Alissa.  It’s why I haven’t
bullied her into signing the papers.”

It was the truth.

For Jasper’s sake, we’d been trying to keep things
amicable where our split was concerned.  I see Jasper every other week with our
shared custodial rights.    He had more than enough to adjust to with his
parents living in separate households that he shouldn’t be aware of the
animosity between us.

And then there was Todd, my ex’s beau—note the
sarcasm.  Am I jealous?  Hell no!  I just don’t want my son’s mother to be
shacking up with every Tom, Dick and Harry out there, leaving poor Jasper
wondering where he fit in with this new family dynamic.

“Sounds to me like she wants it all,” she said hotly. 
I nodded and got up to sit on the bed beside her.  “I’m sorry,” she said.

I had told her everything, risking the possibility
of losing it all where she and I were concerned and that included our
friendship and there she was apologizing?  “I’m the one who’s sorry,” I said, “I
should have said something before now.  I understand if-”

“Do you think she ever will…sign I mean?” she
asked.

“I don’t know, but this is the first time where I
think I’d be better off forcing it through lawyers and a judge.”

***

Silence—the ominous lack of sound that made me ache
to know what she was thinking.  I knew I hadn’t earned the right to ask.  She
should have gotten up, got dressed, and headed for the nearest hotel and I
wouldn’t have blamed her one bit.  Instead, a warm hand grasped mine and
squeezed.  Alissa was far more forgiving than I had ever anticipated.

My heart sunk when she did get up, however, she
didn’t go far; only turned to stand facing me.  I looked up at her, seeing the
concern in her eyes.  I knew that I had hurt her yet there she remained.

“Is that all, there’s nothing more?”  I shook my
head, indicating the negative.  “Good.”  Her hands cupped my cheeks and she
bent so her face was breath away from mine.  “Now kiss me.”

Her kiss was hard and demanding, almost punishing
in nature.  She moaned into my mouth when I returned her passion.  My hand
reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.  “Are you okay with
this?” I asked.  “I’m sorry, I really fucked this up…we don’t-”

“I’m fine, Pax,” she said.  “I think we asked for
something like this to happen.  I could have asked how the process was going
just as often as you could have volunteered the information yourself.”

“Yeah well, I should have.  This internet
friendship thing is all new to me.  I guess we got so busy talking about
everything else that we missed the boat on a few things, huh?”  I sighed.

“I agree, but…”

I pulled her closer so the side of my face rested
against her bare stomach, just below those luscious mounds of hers.  “But?”

Her hands braced themselves on my shoulders.  In a
few seconds, she was straddling my lap.  “There’s one thing that can’t get miscommunicated,
though,” she said.

I smirked.  “And what’s that?”

“Well, if you can’t figure it out…” she said and ground
her hips in a suggestive manner and jumped off of me.

I jumped to my feet, grabbed her wrist pulled her
hard until she crashed into my body.  I couldn’t help myself.  I palmed and
squeezed that firm apple bottom like it had been begging me to.  Rubbing up her
back, my hand fisted her hair and tugged, opening her neck to my ministrations.

“That little grinding thing you did just got you
into a world of trouble,” I said against the soft skin of her throat, rubbing
my hips against hers.  “Is
this
what you want?”  I nipped at her lobe. 
She whimpered and her body quivered in my grasp.  “I’ll take that as a
yes
.”

Her mouth collided with mine and my hands fell to
release the catch on her bra.  The feel of her bare ample chest against mine
made my shaft pulse with more need than earlier.  She jumped up and wrapped her
legs around my waist and I turned us toward the bed.  I tried to be gentle as I
laid her down beneath me but having a woman hang on to you like a spider monkey
can cause a shift in a guy’s balance.  To continue in the day’s awkward
fashion, we tumbled and I landed over her with a grunt as our sexes crushed
together over our underwear while Alissa giggled at the turn of events.

I snapped the elastic to her underwear and her
laughter ceased.  “These have got to come off,” I said.  My fingers slid to the
sides of her hips and began tugging at the undergarment.

I kissed downward, vowing that I’d return to her breasts
after paying my respects to the rest of that beautiful body of hers.  The closer
I got to her core, the more I smelled her arousal.  It made me want to hurry
things along.

When my boxer briefs were off, I towered over her
on my knees taking in the sights.  Her hips were wide, waist narrow.  Built
like the finest sports car—those curves of hers could make any grown man obsessive
about running their hands all over them.  Her womanhood, well, let’s just say
that I could see myself spending all night in that haven.  Shaved, smooth as a
baby’s bottom and its juices were begging me to take her in my mouth and ravage
her until she screamed out my name—repeatedly.

Our eyes met when I brought my face to hers. 
“You’re beautiful.”

I smiled at her blush, kissed her nose and went to
work.

From her lips, I trailed kisses, licks and bites
along with letting my hands and fingers do some of the talking down her torso. 
Her breathing picked up, her body wriggled as she attempted to bury her butt
into the mattress.  She was at my mercy.

I latched on to one of her pert nipples and sucked
it in, nipping it before washing the sting away with my tongue.  She gasped and
her hands found their way into my hair, keeping me where I was for a while
before guiding me to the other to repeat my erotic punishment.

“Pax…”

I continued.

Her hands left me to grasp the linens.  The moment
I reached her navel, circling my tongue around it, my finger entered her and she
exploded in her first orgasm.  I smiled against her heated skin.

When she began to descend, I thrust a second finger
into her, feeling her muscles clamp down on me in tiny little tremors.  She was
tight, hot, and smelled divine.

“I need to taste you.”  I slipped my tongue
between her folds and swiped it up to her nub.  Her thighs twitched and she let
out a deep guttural moan.  Her hips began to lift off the mattress, urging me
deeper.  I used my free hand to push them back down before pressing my lips to
her clit and sucking.  I savoured her essence.

“Oh!  Oh, God!  Pax!”  Tremors climbed up in
intensity inside her depths and I pulled my fingers out, letting my tongue give
her one last pleasurable lick which made her body shiver from head to toe. 
“What are you doing?”

“I can’t wait,” I said.  I climbed up to kneel
right at the junction between her thighs.  She looked at me with urgency and
grabbed on to my dick, pumping it.

My head tilted back and my eyes had begun rolling
into the back of my head.  I was at her mercy and so aroused for her that it
hurt.

“Allie, you need to stop,” I stilled her hand, “or
you’ll put an end to this before it really begins.”   I reached over to the
drawer in the bedside table and pulled out a condom.

She grabbed it from me.  “Let me.”

Sweet mercy!

With my hand over hers, we both guided me to her
entrance.  I pushed into her and watched as her eyes began to roll back and close.

I stopped mid-way inside her and kissed her long
and hard.  “Look at me,” I said and nuzzled her nose.  She obliged, releasing
my cock and running her hands up my chest as I filled her.  “Fuck.”  I felt myself
bottom out as she took me to the hilt.  I groaned.  “Baby, you’re so tight.”  I
remained stationery and washed tender kisses all over her face while her
fingers caressed my scalp and my urgency to spill myself ebbed some.

She moaned into the side of my neck when I shifted
and she wiggled around slightly.  “Pax…I…I can’t…”  She arched her hips into me
and our pelvises pressed closer.  “Please.”

I began to thrust, pulling myself out and then
pushing back into her heat until I bottomed out again.  Her hips ground against
mine in a circular motion, our gazes fused to one another as the tension built.

Alissa met with every one of my thrusts, our
rhythm increasing with our needs.  I was dying to feel her clamp down on me, my
urge to spill growing dangerously close.

“Damn, Allie,” I said as she brought a hand down
between us and began to massage her clit.  My eyes went wide at the show.  “Baby,
I need you to come.  I can’t last much longer.”  I picked up the pace.  “Not
with you doing that.”  Her body was writhing in ecstasy and I shifted to hit
her g-spot on the next few thrusts.

“Oh, yes!  Oh, God, yes!  Pax!”

Her climax caused her insides to grip me like a
vise, squeezing me until all it took was a few more thrusts before I cried out
my release, extending hers.

Spent, I collapsed letting my face fall into the
crook of her neck.  My entire body quivered every time I felt an
aftershock-type tremor from her core.

I pulled back to kiss her lips and she graced me
with a smile.  “That was amazing,” she said.

“Mmm…”  I nuzzled her nose before rolling us over
to tuck her into my side.  She released a contented sigh.

I hadn’t realized, until then, that I’d missed the
post-coital closeness that one could share with another person.  Looking down,
Alissa had fallen asleep.  I kissed the top of her head and revelled in the
contentment I felt.  Soon enough, the darkness of slumber fell upon me and
whisked me away.

I woke up, my arm numb with the annoying sensation
of pins and needles.  I was about to roll over when I realized I had, something
or rather, someone weighing me down.

Last night’s events came flooding back like a
freight train.  The scent of her shampoo fluttered through the air, courtesy of
my open window, and my heart began to flutter.  I turned to look at Alissa who
was curled up in a ball, on her side and smiled.

It wasn’t a dream
.

I pulled her back into my chest and she uncurled
her body allowing it to lean into me.  Kissing her shoulder, I settled my head
down with my cheek pressed against the back of her head, forgetting all about
my dead arm and closed my eyes.

Just a bit longer.

Alissa stirred.  I groaned when she performed a
small cat stretch that propelled her butt into my crotch.  The sensation made
me dizzy with lust and I felt my cock harden.  I was thankful that she had rolled
over onto her back so I didn’t have to embarrass myself.

I smiled down at her.  “Good morning.”

“Hi.”  She returned my smile and rolled onto her
side to hug me.  Her head pulled away as she looked up at me, her brow arched
and she giggled.  “Well, someone’s happy this morning.”

“Ignore
him
.”  I laughed and kissed her forehead. 
Pulling her closer, she groaned.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just need the bathroom.”

Jumping out of bed, she grabbed the bed sheet and
wrapped it around herself before disappearing into the bathroom.

I rolled onto my back and laced my fingers behind
my head, thinking of what to do for the day.  Rummaging through memories of various
online conversations between us, I remembered that Alissa loved the outdoors so
I figured that I’d conjure something up to do with one of our common interests.

My mind was so busy finalizing the details to my
plans that I hadn’t noticed her presence in the room until I felt the mattress dip
beside me.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” she asked.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer.  “If I
told you, I’d have to kill you and I can’t have that.  I like you too much.”  My
free hand pulled on the sheet so it fell away from her.  Quick as a cat, she
bunched the material in a fist and clutched it to her chest but never made a
move to tuck it back in.

“That doesn’t seem like much fun.”

“Exactly, hence why I’m not telling you,” I said.

The glimmer of mischief filled her eyes.  “I bet I
could make you spill,” she said and let go of the sheet.  It pooled around her
butt and thighs.  She sat there, hovering above me with dishevelled hair, her
skin bared from the waist up.

I swallowed hard.  “A-and how would you do that?”

You’ve got to love that feminine wile and Alissa
had it in spades.

She laughed and traced her fingertips over my
chest, down my stomach.  “Oh, I have my ways,” she said and bit down on her
lower lip.  She kissed me nice and slow.  “Mmm…”  Pulling away before I had the
chance to coax more out of her, she continued.  “I guess I should get ready for
whatever you have planned then.”

She dismissed the sheet altogether, got up and I
watched those naked hips of hers sway from side to side, heading toward the
bathroom once more.

I groaned and sat up.  “Tease.”

Turning to look at me over her shoulder, she said,
“You can join me but only if you tell me what we’re doing, it’s that simple.” 
With that, she shut the door.  Moments later, I heard the water turn on and debated
if I should give in.  Who was I kidding? 
Fuck it!

I walked into the bathroom, pulled the shower’s
sliding glass door to the side and attempted to get in there with her.  The
vixen stood in front of me, blocking the entrance with an expectant look and a
prize winning grin.  “You better be ready to talk, playboy.”

I eyed her tanned legs and smirked.  “You better
be ready to spread ‘em, sweetheart.”   She gasped at my retort.  “We’re going
for a ride after breakfast.  I’m not telling you where except that we’ll be
spending some time outside and I’m not looking to ruin the rest of my surprise
if that’s alright with you.  Happy now?”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the shower
with her.  “No, not yet,” she said.  Her lips crushed mine.  I bit on that
bottom lip she so loved to nibble on and she opened for me.  I revelled in the
feel of her velvet tongue against mine, the feel of her soapy wet skin, like
silk against my roughened own as my arms surrounded her.

“How ‘bout now?” I asked, trying to catch my
breath, my hands loosening their hold to travel downward and clutch her butt.

She giggled.  “Just a bit,” she said while
gesturing with her thumb and forefinger held a few centimeters apart.  I arched
my brow.

Her arms pulled me back in and I denied her,
presenting my cheek just before her lips met mine.  She rebelled and got up on
the tips of her toes, forced my head down and nipped my earlobe.  I shuddered.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” I said with
the side of my face pressed to hers, my knees feeling weak.

“I think I have a slight idea.”

Her hand lowered itself and left a wet, steaming
trail down my front.  She snaked it lower, grabbed my cock and began to pump. 
My jaw went slack and the hot water felt cold against my skin as the raging
inferno within was fed.  My eyes closed and my head tilted back.  She had
cocooned us into our very own bubble of bliss where I was only aware of the
contact she had on my throbbing dick.

My eyes snapped open.  “Oh, God!” I said when I
felt her lips wrap around the flesh that had made her scream out my name last
night.

I looked down and our eyes locked.

She hummed around me and I felt my balls tighten. 
I strung my fingers through her wet hair.  I was close…so close.  She took me
in as far as she could stand and I felt her throat muscles working as she
swallowed me down further.  The look of pure enjoyment and her fierce
determination had me on the cusp.

“Holy…mmm…Allie,” I rasped.

Her teeth lightly grazing my length threw me over
the edge.  I exploded with a guttural moan that shook me to my core, my hands
reaching out to either side of me to make sure I maintained my stance as she
sucked, licked and swallowed me clean.

When the urge to collapse receded, my hands released
the walls and framed her face.  Pure satisfaction graced her face and those
swollen lips, those molten eyes made me pull her up to her feet for a searing
kiss.

“Now I’m happy,” she said before pecking me on the
mouth and turning around.  “Mind washing my back?”

I stood there, dumbstruck. 
What the fuck was
that? 
“You’re a devil woman, you know that?”  I shook the carnal haze out
of my brain and reached around her for the soap.  “But it’s my turn now,” I whispered
into her ear and watched the goose-bumps spread on her skin.

“But-”

“You’ve had your fun, baby, now it’s only fair if
I get to have mine.”

I lathered up her shoulders, moved to her back, her
hips and snuck my hands around to spread the suds onto her toned stomach.  Those
globes of hers were next.  At the first tweaking of one peak, she sucked in a
sharp breath before melting into me and leaned her head back on my shoulder.

“I hope you’re ready for this,” I said.  I smiled at
her subtle whimper.

After working her nipples to a degree where I would
qualify them able to cut glass, I glided my hand down to her folds.  Sliding a
finger into her, she clamped down on my intrusive appendage.  A few thrusts was
all it took before her knees gave out and I caught her, wrapping an arm around
her torso and held her tight against me while my other hand continued its
pleasuring wrath.

She came with such ferocity that my ears were
still ringing long after her cries had subsided.

Gauging her stability, I turned her around and
devoured her mouth as I turned the water off.

“What do you think of brunch?” I asked as I slid
the shower door open and reached for the two hanging towels.  “That shower
scheme of yours took away from our time to cook.

She dabbed the terrycloth sheet to dry her skin
then wrapped it around herself.  “I think you might be on to something.”  She
eyed my still dripping body with a fiery gaze.  “Cover up, will you or we’ll
never leave this place.”

“I think you might be right.”

***

I was itching to see her reaction with what I had
in store for us so when Alissa said she was finished eating, I left money on
the table that would cover both the bill and leave our waitress with a hefty
tip.  I grabbed Alissa’s hand and rushed us out to my SUV and drove us to a
ranch on the outskirts of town, thankful that no one was home when we arrived.

She looked around after I’d helped her out of my
car.  “Where are we?”

Her eyes were fixed on the fields of wild flowers. 
“You like?”  She nodded.  “It’s my parents’ place.  I brought you here because we
needed to pick up a more suitable ride for what we’re about to do, so come on.” 
I grabbed her hand and led her behind the barn.

“What are you up to, Paxton Lowell?”

I pushed the two heavy sliding doors sideways to
reveal a four-wheeler.

“Your chariot awaits, madam,” I said and broke
down laughing at her wide-eyed look and the grin that followed it.

“It explains why you told me not to wear anything nice. 
Let’s go!”  She jumped up and hugged me with a light giggle.  “I haven’t been
on one of these in ages.”

The notion of two thirty-something’s behaving like
kids for a day was ridiculous but it was well worth it to see the bright smile
on Alissa’s face.  A smile I might add that had yet to disappear as we jumped
on the machine and sped off through the fields.

I drove on until we reached the edge of the forest
and stopped where the bush trail started.  “I hope you’re okay with getting messy.” 
I grinned over my shoulder.  “It’s been raining a lot up until this week so I
can promise that things are far from dry in there.”

Her laugh was filled with mischief as she rubbed
her hands together.  “Do I look like I’m afraid of a little bit of dirt?  The
dirtier, the better!”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

A while later, we hit a slight snag; we’d reached
the bottom of the gully but it proved a little deeper than I had remembered.  My
old Honda was stuck in the mud for the lack of a better description and I
cursed selecting my old trail.

“Don’t laugh or you’re walking back,” I said to a
giggling Alissa.  She kept laughing despite my warning while I got us to try
and rock the wheeler back and forth to see if I could get enough traction to
get us out.  If anything, I made more of a mess which seemed to add to the
hilarity of our situation.  Despite my annoyance at our conundrum, I couldn’t
hide the smile on my face.  It was hard to stay frustrated with Alissa looking
like she was having a ball.

“You take the wheel while I push,” I said and moved
to step into the massive mud hole.  “When I tell you, ease onto the gas.  Don’t
hit it too hard or else you’ll guarantee that we’re both walking back.”  She
nodded and I braced myself onto the rear rack.  “Now!”

Underestimating the touchiness of the throttle,
the tires spun and the machine’s ass end sunk.  We were as good as pedestrians. 
There was no way we were getting that thing out of there until things dried up.

She turned and broke out into hysterical laugher. 
“Oh, crap, Pax!”  She clutched at her stomach.  I was covered from head to toe
in mud, thanks to her.  “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not,” I said but couldn’t contain my
smirk before I allowed a small chuckle to escape.  “Laugh now.  Just you wait,
you’ll get yours too.”  I snickered as I tried to wipe as much of the mud off
my face.  “Damn stuff is as thick as tar.”

I helped her off the bike so we could head back. 
As luck would have it, the moment she let go of my hand, she slipped.  So sue
me for standing there enjoying her misfortune; it was all in good fun.  She
squealed as she tried to right herself only to land back onto her ass again and
the mud sucked her in deeper.  It was my turn to bust a gut.

“Karma’s a bitch,” I said in a singsong fashion.

“Shut up.”  She laughed as she took my
outstretched hand again.

“What?”  I gave her my best angelic face and then
grinned like the devil.  “You know you’re enjoying this.”  She was wiping the
mud off her hands and onto her shirt.

“Can’t say I wasn’t.”  She looked up at me and
grinned.  “Next time, if you want to mud wrestle, just ask.”

Damn this girl is fun.

After a half hour trek, I suggested we take a
small break when we’d reached the fields.  I collapsed onto my back and pulled
on her hand so she followed me down.  She laid her head on my stomach, both of
us staring up at the sky.

I don’t know how long we were there for, but I was
aware of the fact that the mud on my skin was pretty well caked on dry.

“This shit is gonna be hell to take off,” I said.

She peeled a dried chip of mud off my cheek,
flicked it and said, “I think you might be right but you’ll look pretty with a
more even complexion in the end.”

“
Pretty?
”  I lifted my head and gave her a
perplexed look.  She tried to hide her laugh but it was next to impossible with
her head bouncing up and down off my stomach.  “I’ll show you
pretty
.  I
think it’s time you earned yourself a few extra laugh lines, honey, then you
can talk to me about mud baths.”  I rolled her under me and set to tickling.

We made it back to the house, still laughing about
our earlier mishap.  I started the hose and sprayed her down while she squealed
when the water made contact.