One Dead Seagull (26 page)

‘
W
e’re
going
to
get
a
thunderstorm,’
Gracie said, rubbing
her
nose
furiousl
y
.

Ker
r
y
flopped
in
the
sand
next
to
me
and
explained
that
her
mum
’
s nose
got
itchy
before
a
thunderstorm. Without
fail.
I
would
have
put
money
on
a
clear
night.

Den
and
Hendo
kept walking
when
they
got
to
the
top,
kicking
sand
at
us
as
they
went
past.

‘Come
on, Hendo,’
Den
said.
‘Let
’
s
go
find
a
quiet
spot and
leave
these
lovebirds
alone.’

He
looked
straight
at
me
then
danced
off
down
the dune
holding
Hendo
’
s hand. Their
long
shadows
were soon
fighting and
rolling. Part
of
me
wanted
to
rumble with
them.
Part
of
me
wanted
other
things.

‘
W
ant
an
ice
cream?’
Baz
asked.
‘Mum
..
.
Gracie
and
I
are
going
to
whip
over
to
the
shop—I
forgot
to
grab
a paper—you
guys
want
to
come?’

I
shrugged.
Sounded
like
a
good
idea.
Kez
just
sat
and
squinted
at
the
sun.

‘Kez?’

‘Oh,
I’m
okay
here
Mum.
Y
ou
go
if
you
want
to,
W
ayne.’

I
didn
’
t want
an
ice
cream.
Right
then
I
realised
that there
was
something
going
on.
Something
weird.
Something
warm.

‘I
think
I’ll
just
sit
here
for
a
bit.’

The
feelings
washing
over
me
as we
talked—almost
in whispers—were
both
alien
and
welcome.
Eve
r
y
time
I
did something
stupid
or
said
something
awkward
Kez
would just
smile
and
reach
out
or
laugh
to
take
the
edge
off
it.
Suddenly
eve
r
ything
Kez
said was
interesting—even
the
stuff
about
how
she
missed Jesus
the
cat
and
all
that—I could
understand
what
she
was
talking
about.
There
were
a
few
times
when
eve
r
ything
about
her
was
golden
and
I
wanted
to
touch
her
but
I
was
shitting
bricks.
What
if
she pulled away?
W
orse,
what
if
she
actually
liked it and wanted
more,
what
would
I
do
then?
The
thought of resting
my
hand
on
her
shoulder
gave
me
a
fat.
I
was
thankful for
my
baggy
T
-shirt
and
the
birds
that
winged into
our
vision—hundreds
of
white
birds
cruising
along the
edge
of
the
dunes.
Den
would
know
what
they
were for
sure.
I
heard
magic
in
Kez
’
s
words.
She
looked
like
a
model
or
something
in
the
final
glow
of
the
sun.
This
kid
I’d
known
since
before
she
went
to
school
was
a
woman
an
d
ambulanc
e
siren
s
wer
e
goin
g
of
f
i
n
m
y
head.
Somehow
the
silly
little
caterpillar
of
Ker
r
y
Hume
got
all
squashed
up
into
a
cocoon
while
I
wasn
’
t
watching.
Then pop!
She
’
s this
gorgeous
butte
r
fly
that
I
want
to
cradle and
kiss.
Kiss?
Y
eah,
I
wanted
to
kiss
he
r
.
Is
that
sick
or
what?
My
best
mate
’
s
siste
r
.
I
was
past
the
point
of
caring.

I
said
some
things
to
her
that
I
hadn
’
t even
said
to myself.
I
told
her
that
I
missed
my
dad
and
that
I
hated
his guts
sometimes.
I
told
her
that
I
thought
my
mum
and

dad
were
getting
back
together
again
and
that
made
me want
to
chuck.
Move
out.
Something.
I
told
her
I’d
never had
a
pet.
Not
even
a
guinea
pig
in
a
goldfish
bowl.
She
sat
there open-mouthed and nodded. At
some
point during my
sto
r
y
she’d
picked
up
my
hand
but
I
didn
’
t notice
until
I’d
run
out
of
words
and
was
left
breathless
by the
look
in
her
eyes.

‘I
do
love
you,
W
ayne.’
I
melted
inside.

‘I
think this place
is
our sacred
site,’ I
said,
and squeezed
her
hand.
I
was
going
to
tell
her
that
I
loved
he
r
, too,
but
my
mouth
was
paralysed.
Ker
r
y
’
s
lips
were
pressed
against
mine
and
their
softness
and
the
sweet
taste
of
her
breath
pulled
me into
a
trance
that
will
hold
me foreve
r
.
Something
clicked
inside
me
with that
kiss:
I
finally
understood
what
all
the
fuss
was
about.

When
Den
and
Hendo
came
racing
up
the
dune
a
few
minutes
late
r
,
Kez and
I
pretended
that
there
was
nothing
going
on but Den
’
s not an
idiot. He started
scuffling
around
on
the
sand
between
us
like
a
hung
r
y
kelpie.

‘What
are
you
doing?’
Kez
asked.

‘Nothing.’

He was pushing
us
around
and
feeling in my
shirt pocket.

‘Get
off!
What
are
you
looking
for?’

He
pulled
my
ear
to
his
mouth
and
whispered,
‘Used condoms.’

‘Piss
off.’
I
grabbed
him
and
we
rolled
down
the
track togethe
r
.
W
e
were
both
laughing
but
some
of
the
fake punches
weren
’
t
so
fake
and
the
one
that
landed
in
my
bruised
gut
made
me
wince
and
push
him
off.
He
pranced
off
down
the
track
with
Hendo.
Bastard.

•

Bar
r
y
was
buried
in
his
paper
under
the
gaslight.
Gracie had
been
to
the
showers
and
was
fishing
around
in
her bag
for
some
clothes.
I’d seen
her
naked
body
so
many
times
during
the
da
y
,
on
the
beach
and
in
the
wate
r
,
but
she
seemed
more
naked
inside
the
tent.
Hendo
had
taken off
again
with
Den;
his
eyes
would
have
popped
out
of
his head
if
he
had
seen
Gracie
’
s
heavy
boobs
swaying
in
the gaslight.

‘Hey
Ker
r
y
,
what
are
we
up
to
tomorrow?
Going
to
the wate
r
fall
or
floating
the
boat?’
Bar
r
y
asked.

W
e’d
had
the
conversation
over
burgers
but
Den
had wanted
to
go
to
the
wate
r
fall
and
Ker
r
y
had
wanted
to float
the
boat
so
nothing was
resolved.
Gracie
emerged from
the
tent
in
a
dress
with
Aboriginal
designs
printed
on it.
She
was
rubbing
her
nose
with
the
palm
of
her
hand.

‘If
we’re
going
to get
a thunderstorm,
I
think
we
should go
to
the
wate
r
fall.
Ungh.
I
hope
it’ll
all
be
over
by
the morning,’
Gracie
said.

I
scoffe
d
t
o
myself
.
Th
e
sk
y
wa
s a
showe
r
o
f
bright stars
.
I
sa
w
tha
t
mo
b
o
f
star
s
tha
t
w
e
cal
l
‘Th
e
Pot’—don
’
t
kno
w
it
s
prope
r
nam
e
bu
t
yo
u
kno
w
th
e
on
e
I
mean
.
At home
,
o
n
a
reall
y
clea
r
night
,
I
ca
n
se
e
thre
e
star
s
i
n
the
handle
,
thre
e
o
n
th
e
botto
m
an
d
on
e
littl
e
sta
r
that
complete
s
th
e
po
t
shape
.
Ther
e
ar
e
fou
r
brigh
t
stars aroun
d
i
t
tha
t
mak
e
a
wonk
y
frame
.
Al
l
up—eleve
n
stars.
T
onight
,
thi
s
nigh
t
befor
e
th
e
so-calle
d
thunderstor
m
fro
m
hell
,
I
coul
d
barel
y
mak
e
ou
t
th
e
pot
:
on
e
o
f
the cosmi
c
landscaper
s
ha
d
tippe
d
ove
r
a
wheelbarro
w
full o
f
glitte
r
an
d
eve
r
y
dar
k
patc
h
o
f
sk
y
ha
d
bee
n
sprinkled. Mate
,
i
t
wa
s
awesome
.
I
woul
d
hav
e
be
t
m
y
entir
e
one

hundre
d
an
d
fou
r
thousan
d
dollar
s
o
n
i
t
bein
g
clea
r
and ho
t
whe
n
th
e
su
n
cam
e
u
p
th
e
nex
t
da
y
.

Kez
seemed
distant
now
that
we
were
back
at
the
camp.
I
wanted
to kiss
her more
than
anything
but she
was cool—until
Gracie
asked
us
to
roll
down
the
brown
canvas windows
of
the tent.
W
e
were
in
the dark
and
she grabbed me
by
the
shirt.
Planted
a
frantic
kiss
on
my
cheek
and lips.
Her
breath
and
the
heat
of
her
body
made
me
burn
inside, want
more. Feel
more. She
pulled away
and
dragged
me
further
from
the
tent.

‘Mum,
me
and
W
ayne
are
going
to
the
beach.’

‘
W
ayne
and
I
.
.
.’
Gracie
corrected.

‘
Y
eah.’

‘Can
I
come?’
Gracie
asked.

Ker
r
y
’
s
shoulders
dropped.
‘
Y
eah,
sure,’
she
chirped. I
thought
I
would
burst.