Authors: Jill Shalvis
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Women's Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Fiction
That thought was a little much for her to swallow, and she couldn’t imagine how he’d feel, so she kept it to herself. “I saw you with your son on the boat yesterday,” she said. “Things looked…tense.”
“We’re working on it,” he said. “I’ve got about fifteen years of resentment to battle my way through.”
“And his mom?”
“She’s decided that she needs a mom break,” he said. “I’m up at bat.”
Callie took in the easily spoken words, which didn’t match the pain in his eyes. “You’re going to do great,” she said quietly.
He met her gaze. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she said. “You always do the right thing. It’s who you are, it’s hard-wired into you.”
“And you got all that from our breakfasts?” he asked, holding her gaze. “Or from your grandma?”
She blew out a long breath and mentally debated whether to actually ’fess up. But she supposed it was time for the truth. “I had a huge crush on you in high school. I was basically your stalker and you didn’t even know it. I could write your bio.”
He arched a brow. “Let’s hear it.”
“Hear what?”
“My bio. The things you think you know about me.”
“Oh, well…” She wasn’t sure how they’d gotten on this road, but she couldn’t back out now. He was watching her with those eyes that somehow always drew far too much of her truth from her brain and out her mouth. “I know you got Elisa pregnant at seventeen.”
“Everyone knew that,” he said.
“I know you had a promising football career with a scholarship on the line, but you gave it all up so that you could support her and the baby.”
“Anyone would’ve done that.”
“Actually,” she said softly, “no, they wouldn’t have. You made that choice for her and Troy’s future, not for yourself. I know that Elisa ended up getting to go to the college you’d wanted to attend.”
He took her coffee cup and set it on the counter. “Don’t make me out to be any kind of martyr. That’s not me.”
“My point,” she said, “is that you do whatever needs to be done. Even if it’s not in your own best interests.”
“Yeah, I gave up a scholarship,” he said, “but I got something out of it. Troy. He’s not all that into me at the moment and that’s likely to get worse for a little while, but I don’t regret any of the decisions I made. Because in the end they led me to him. I’ve screwed this daddy gig up more than a few times, but I plan on getting it right this time.”
“How did you screw it up?”
He was quiet a moment, studying her. “I don’t regret the navy,” he finally said. “That’s where I grew up. But I was away for long periods of time, and then the same on the rigs.”
“But that’s how you made the money you needed to support them,” she said.
“True, but…” He shook his head and she thought that was it. He was done talking.
“I nearly died there,” he said quietly, shocking her. “And I’d have left my son without a dad and my mom without a son to take care of her.” He met her gaze. “I set out to be a better man than I was a kid, and in doing so, I’ve learned that there are more important things than money.”
Her throat was tight when she said, “And you don’t see how good a man you are?”
“I’ve still got a lot to make up for.”
He wanted redemption for the wildness of his youth. He wanted to make amends. He wanted to man up and be a dad.
She admired the hell out of that.
Tanner’s phone buzzed and he read the text, his mouth going tight. “It’s from Elisa. I’ve got to go.”
She straightened and set down her coffee on the counter. “Is something wrong?”
“I’ve been summoned to the principal’s office.” His smile was grim. “Again. And here I thought those days were long gone.” He moved to the door.
“Tanner?”
He turned back. “Yeah?”
“Don’t doubt your ability to be a dad,” she said softly. “You’re a great one.”
He stared at her for a few beats and then moved back to her, planting one hand on either side of her body, caging her against the counter.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting ready to kiss you,” he said, voice low and…damn. Seductive as hell.
“You are?” she breathed. “Why?”
His mouth was at her ear but he lifted his head to look at her with a smile. “Because I want to.”
“You want to kiss me?” she whispered, needing to hear it again. She couldn’t help it; she’d dreamed of this for so long when she was younger.
“Yeah,” he said. “I want to kiss you. To start.”
Holy. Smokes. “But…” Her body quivered. Bad body. “But we talked about this. We’re both way too screwed up, remember?”
“I don’t feel screwed up right now.”
She felt her stomach clench a little, in a good way, the kind of excitement humming through her veins that she usually associated with opening a gallon of ice cream or a new bag of chips. “But your text…you have to go.”
“In a minute,” he said, staring at her mouth.
Oh boy. He wasn’t helping. In fact, he was making her want things. Lots of things, not a single one of them ice cream or chips. So she closed her eyes. This made him seem even closer. They weren’t touching, not a single inch, but she felt completely surrounded by him. Intimately so.
She wanted more. “I’m off men, you know.”
“Yeah. I know.” He took his hands off the counter and pulled her in, hard against his body.
She took two handfuls of his shirt. For balance, she told herself.
But the truth was, she wanted to put her hands on him. His chest was warm and hard beneath her palms. It almost hurt to look at him, he was so damn good-looking. Those dark, dark eyes that held his secrets and emotions in check, that square jaw with a sexy amount of scruff.
Everything about him saying badass tough guy who didn’t ever do soft and gentle.
And yet he did exactly that when his hands, strong and warm, slid up her back and then down, pulling her in even closer.
Then he looked down on her face for another second, his brown eyes soft but full of intent as he slowly lowered his head.
“W-wait!”
He paused, eyes on hers.
She had her hands over his heart and could feel the beating beneath her palms. Slow. Steady.
The opposite of hers, of course.
“Callie?”
“I…can’t remember what I was going to say.”
His eyes were smiling into hers. “So I can continue?”
She cleared her throat and nodded. “Carry on,” she whispered.
He started with a brush of his lips against one corner of her mouth, a butterfly touch. And then the other corner.
She heard a soft sound, an almost whimper, and realized it was her.
He slowly sank his fingers into her hair and she melted. No other word for it, her bones just melted clean away. And then he proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of her, a hot, wet, deep kiss that was good. So very good.
As it went on his fingers squeezed her hips, pulling her in closer. And then closer still, so that she could feel every inch of him. And, oh goodness, he had some really great inches.
She was lost, swirling in the sensations that would surely drown her if she let them. With a moan she leaned in, feeling his heart pounding at rocket speed now. Gratifying.
Tanner shifted and kissed his way over her jaw to the shell of her ear, his lips closing around the lobe, sucking it into his mouth before his teeth scraped over it.
A rush seared through her belly and she gasped. She opened her eyes and found Tanner watching her with a look she couldn’t quite place. “What was that?” she whispered, staring at his mouth.
“A test.” His voice was husky, doing nothing to ease the need inside her.
“Did we pass?” she asked.
“No. We failed. Spectacularly,” he said. And then he kissed her again—a hot, intense tangle of tongues and teeth that had her letting out that soft, needy sound again.
And again.
And again.
In fact, he didn’t stop until she was completely and utterly one-hundred-percent upside down and inside out. She might have even been transported to infinity and beyond.
When he finally lifted his head, she had to take a second before she could open her eyes.
Or maybe it was an hour.
Or a lifetime.
But when she finally dragged her lids up and stared at him, he smiled an especially bad-boy smile. “We’re going to do that again,” he said.
“Oh,” she whispered. “Okay.”
He nipped lightly at her wet lower lip, flashed a grin, and then…
Left.
T
anner was halfway out of the building when Callie’s front door whipped open. He turned to find her standing there, hands on hips.
Hair wild.
Sweatshirt slipping off one shoulder.
Nipples hard.
Lips plumped from their kiss.
“What the hell was that?” those lips asked.
His mind was still befuddled, enough that he shook his head. “What?”
“You kiss me and then just walk out of here like the hounds of hell are at your heels?”
Okay, so there’d been a little bit of that. But he’d gotten his hands on her, and her tongue in his mouth, and only one word had crossed his brain and locked into place.
Mine.
That’s it, just that one syllable, going round and round in his head the entire time he was kissing her.
Mine.
There’d been a few other things, of course. The blood roaring through his veins like a locomotive on a downhill track, heading south to pool behind his zipper. Which meant that him thinking at all was somewhat of a miracle.
She was waiting for an answer and he didn’t have one.
“Was there something in the coffee or doughnuts that made you feel ill?” she inquired politely.
“No.”
“So it’s me?”
“No.” Yes. Jesus. He was unsettled as hell that he’d shared far more than he’d expected to. She was far too easy to be with.
He didn’t understand why.
Or like it.
“I have a meeting,” he reminded her.
“Right. At the principal’s office. But if you didn’t have a meeting…”
“But I do.”
“Humor me,” she said. “If you didn’t have to leave right now, what would have happened in there?” She jabbed a finger over her shoulder at her apartment as if there could be any question about what she meant. She then crossed her arms, waiting not so patiently on his answer, and he realized she wasn’t pushing him out of anger or even annoyance. She was unnerved.
“Anything you wanted,” he said quietly. “As much as you would have let me.”
She stared at him. Then she let out a low laugh and dropped her hands to her sides. She stared at her feet for a long beat and it hit him.
Anything she wanted would have been everything.
At his soft laugh, her head jerked up and her eyes narrowed. “Are you laughing at me?”
“At us.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Listen, I’m going to back off, okay? Nothing’s going to happen unless you want it to.”
A grimace crossed her face.
“You want it to,” he said, liking that way too much.
She blew out a breath. “I’m not sure a nice guy would point that out.”
“I’m not all that nice,” he said.
She sighed again. “This is bad, Tanner.”
Yes. Yes, it was bad. Very, very bad. It wasn’t only a volatile situation but a dangerous one as well. More dangerous than being a SEAL. More dangerous than any rig job. Because this wasn’t a threat to his body, which had time and time again proven itself able to withstand much more than he’d thought possible.
No, this time the danger was to his heart and soul.
And he didn’t think either of them could take the hit.
“I’m not doing this,” she said, gesturing to him and then herself. “Not happening. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, you know?”
“Yes,” he said softly. “I know.”
But apparently she wasn’t sure because she kept talking. “I mean, I know what happens when you fall in love. You get stupid. Love’s not enough.”
“Callie, you’re preaching to the choir here.”
She still wasn’t done. “Did you know that forty percent of the women who shop and plan their wedding on my website don’t even have a groom? Forty percent, Tanner!”
“Jesus. Really?”
“Yes,” she said, “and don’t get me started on the other sixty percent.” She shoved her fingers through her already crazy hair and shook her head. “Focus, Sharpe.”
He smiled. “You talk to yourself a lot.”
“Yes. Be scared. Be very, very scared. In fact, if you could be scared off, that would solve everything.”
“Consider it done,” he said.
“Good!” With that, she stormed back into her apartment and slammed the door.
The door next to hers opened and Olivia poked her head out. Above hers appeared Cole’s.
Both grinning, of course.
“So are you really scared off?” Cole asked.
“Yep,” he said. “I’m gone.”
Cole laughed softly. “Liar.”
Yep.
“I hear there’s a girl,” Tanner’s mom said at her dinner table.
Both Troy and Tanner went still, eyes like deer in the headlights.
Tanner’s mom smiled. “I hear everything.”
Tanner turned his head and looked at his son.
Troy immediately lifted his hands in innocence and shook his head. “Hey, don’t look at me. I got dumped when you and Mom made me move here. It’s not me who has a girl.”
All eyes locked on Tanner speculatively.
He kept his face even. It was his weekly dinner with his mom. She looked forward to grilling him all week and now that he had Troy to accompany him, she had
two
targets. Troy had tried to put up his usual sullen front, but Tanner’s mom was hard to be sullen to. Plus it appeared the kid was starting to get into having his paternal grandma dote on him.
Or maybe it was the desserts.
Either way, Tanner hadn’t had to drag the teen here tonight. Troy had actually remembered first and had to remind Tanner to get going so that they’d be on time.
“There is no girl,” he told them both.
Beatriz studied her son. “I play bingo. I hear things.”
“You can’t believe everything you hear, Mom.”
“I hear it from Lucille. The Oracle of Lucky Harbor.”
Tanner laughed. “Ninety-nine percent of what she puts out there is B.S.”
“Which means it’s one percent spot on,” she said calmly. “You’re seeing her granddaughter Callie, a sweet, smart girl who nearly married the dentist. He’s a good dentist but he’s an idiot of a man. You’ll do right by her.” She looked smug. “How’s that for one percent spot on?”
Troy grinned, enjoying this. “Is there dessert?”
“But of course,” Beatriz said. “Soon as your father tells his mama about the woman.”
“Hurry, Dad,” Troy said. “Tell her.”
Tanner went brows up on the “Dad.” At least on the outside. On the inside his heart did an almost painful squeeze as pleasure flooded him so fast he got dizzy. When Troy had first come to Lucky Harbor, he’d refused to call him Dad, instead using Tanner’s given name. Which had annoyed the hell out of him, but he’d hidden that because as he knew more than anyone, teenagers could see a weakness from a mile away. But he knew damn well that Troy knew how badly Tanner had wanted to be called Dad. “Now?” he asked the kid wryly. “Really?”
“Dessert,” Troy explained.
Naturally. Forget the Hallmark moment, it was about dessert.
Beatriz was smiling at Tanner, her eyes sharp as tacks.
She didn’t miss a trick.
“Yes, it’s Callie,” Troy said. “They’ve had breakfasts together at the bakery. And one at her place.”
Tanner stared at him.
“What? It’s online. Don’t blame me,” Troy said. “Dessert?”
“You,” Beatriz said to him. “Yes, you can have dessert, warm from the oven.”
Troy flashed Tanner a smug look that turned into a grimace when Beatriz pulled him in and gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek.
Now Tanner sent Troy the smug look but after a moment took pity on his son. “Mom, he doesn’t like to be hugged and kissed.”
“No. This can’t be true,” Beatriz said, pretending to be aghast as she kissed Troy again and then again on his other cheek. “In our family, we like to kiss,” she said. “It’s the Brazilian blood.”
Troy tried to be stoic while Beatriz kept at him, but seeing as Beatriz was in a wheelchair and she had Troy bent into a pretzel, Tanner couldn’t help it. Eventually he started to laugh.
“There,” Beatriz said, satisfied, finally letting go of her grandson. “That’s much better. Why do you teenagers have to be all broody and sullen?”
“Because being a teenager sucks,” Troy said. “You have no idea.”
Tanner and Beatriz looked at each other and laughed.
Troy frowned. “You’re not supposed to laugh. That wasn’t funny. Why was that funny?”
“Baby,” Beatriz said, “you have no idea. When I was your age, I was working in the banana fields twelve hours a day. When your dad was your age, he worked two jobs to help keep a roof over our heads, and then when you came along he had to go into the military to feed all of us.”
Troy blinked. “I—I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no, baby,” she said. “It’s okay, you didn’t know. But now you do. Would you take Rio out for a walk around the block for your dear old grandma?”
Rio was Beatriz’s aging toy poodle, the one sitting in her lap like he owned it, and he resembled a balding chicken.
“Don’t move too fast now,” Beatriz said. “He’s got some troubles today. I think he ate a sock. Give him a moment to air out, you know what I’m saying?” She shoved Rio into Troy’s arms, slapped the leash against his chest, and smiled sweetly.
Rio reached up and licked Troy’s chin politely.
Troy looked down at the dog and then at Tanner.
Tanner kept his gaze on his mom, and a moment later the back door shut.
Beatriz grinned at him.
“Seriously,” Tanner said, “you should bottle that skill.”
“Which, darling?”
“How to be so evil and yet disarmingly sweet.”
She laughed. “Oh, but you can’t teach that. It comes naturally. Get the dessert, would you?”
Tonight it was fried cinnamon doughnut holes from Leah’s bakery. His mom loved them, claiming they reminded her of bolinho de chuva from her childhood.
Tanner’s dad had met her on spring break and brought her to the States. He’d stuck around long enough to see Tanner’s fifth birthday party.
Ever since then it’d been just the two of them, as Beatriz hadn’t been big on men after being dumped with a kid. She’d been an overworked, exhausted single mother working at the school cafeteria before rheumatoid arthritis had knocked her flat, forcing an early retirement.
He’d done his best to take care of her. And yeah, her body might have betrayed her, but her mind was still like a whip. She could read an eye twitch from a mile away, especially when it came to her son.
“Tell me,” she said. “Tell me about the woman.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Look at you, lying to your own mother. My phone’s been ringing off the hook. It’s all true, what Troy said.”
“You’re going to believe the word of a fifteen-year-old whose sole mission in life is to eat his weight daily?”
“He eats like you. He also thinks like you. You’ve got a smart one there,” she said fondly. “And don’t blame him. You’ve been seen at the bakery.”
Tanner sighed. “Forgot there for a moment that we live in Mayberry.”
She laughed. “Might as well be. I remember Callie as a girl. I cleaned her parents’ legal office at night for cash.”
“I didn’t know that,” Tanner said.
“No one did. I didn’t want charity, I wanted to work for what I earned. Her parents…” She shook her head. “They were good people, always made sure to give me a holiday and birthday bonus, but very self-involved. Scarcely noticed that they had a child.” She went on for a little bit about that time and what she knew and then she turned her eagle eye on Tanner. “Tell me what Callie is like now. I remember her as sweet. And smart. Very smart.”
“Still is,” Tanner said. “She’s running a site called TyingTheKnot.com, designing wedding websites and being a virtual wedding planner.”
Beatriz’s eyes lit up. “I heard this. A wedding site…”
He saw the stars in her eyes and laughed. “Don’t get any ideas, Mom.”
“Oh, I already have ideas. And they involve you not being on a dangerous job for once, killing yourself to make money for me, for Elisa, for Troy.”
“I’m not in a dangerous job now.”
“Hmm” was all she said.
“I’m not.”
“You’re still diving. When are you not going to need adrenaline rushes anymore? You’re too old for that.”
“I’m thirty-two, hardly old,” he said on a laugh. “And diving doesn’t bother my leg.”
“A man hits his prime at age seventeen.”
He was going to hope that wasn’t quite true. “I’ve always been careful.”
“No, you’ve always been hungry. You needed to support Elisa, even when she took advantage of you and lived in a way that was above her—and your—means. And then you felt the need to buy me this house…” She gestured to the two-bedroom townhouse he’d purchased for her after his second year on the rigs.
“You’d always wanted your own place,” he murmured.
“And I love it. I love you. I just want it to be your turn to be happy.” She smiled. “A wedding site.”
“Mom.”
“What? It sounds so romantic.”
“It’s not,” Tanner said. “It’s a paycheck, that’s all.”
She made a small
tsk
ing sound in her throat. “If she feels that way, then the two of you are well suited.”
Tanner grinned at her.
“I don’t find it funny, my only son refusing to let himself love.”
He sighed, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her in. “I love plenty. I love you, you meddling old woman.”
“Hmph,” she said, looking secretly pleased.
Tanner reached for another doughnut hole, freezing when he caught sight of his mom’s mail. The top piece was a bank statement, opened. He zeroed in on the bottom line and the balance there. “Jesus. Did you win the lottery when I wasn’t looking?”
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” she said. “And yes, I did win the lottery. The son lottery.”
He took his gaze off the statement and stared at her.
She stared back, a little smugly, he thought, and he narrowed his eyes. “You’re scaring me,” he said.
“Don’t be silly. I scare no one.”
“You scare everyone. The money, Mom. How did you get that much money?”
“It’s yours.”
“Mine.” He looked at the balance again and shook his head. “What?”
“It’s the money you’ve given me over the years. At first I used some of it, I had to. But then I caught up. I told you this but you wouldn’t listen. Or stop giving me your hard-earned money. So I started saving it. Figured one day I could help you for a change.”