One Night to Risk It All (6 page)

“Probably you’re delusional,” he said. “As you were about marrying him in the first place.”

“Okay, Alex, answer this question. Has there been a woman since you were with me?”

“No.” She looked far too triumphant when he admitted that. This honesty thing where she was concerned really had to stop.

She seemed to bring it out in him. He’d held back next to nothing since he’d met her. He’d told her. About why he’d seduced her, about his mother, about why he hated Ajax.

Well, he’d told her most of it. There were things he couldn’t bring himself to speak out loud into an empty room. Much less share with with anyone else.

His house came into view. He’d had it custom built when the island passed into his control. It was completely modern. Square, with hard, clean edges, windows that faced the sea. There was no gilded excess, no old-world opulence.

That would have reminded him too much of the Kouklakis compound. And he had no interest in that. It was too much in his mind as it was.

Stale, filthy opulence. And a carpet stained with blood.

“It’s certainly different,” she said.

“Is it?”

“Very...minimalist.”

“I’d had enough Persian rugs and intricate carvings to last a lifetime. I wasn’t interested in living in it for the rest of my life.”

“Oh.”

“What about you?” he asked. “What sort of architecture do you prefer?”

Rachel paused on the path, his question hitting a nerve for some reason she couldn’t really identify. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what sort of house you would have liked to live in one day?”

“Ajax’s house,” she said, bristling. “And his penthouse in the city. All nice places. And nothing not to like about them.”

“And before that?”

“I had an apartment. In New York.” She’d liked her apartment a lot, but she’d given it up before the wedding, naturally. But it hadn’t been a place for entertaining. It had been a place just for her. Giving it up had been a lot harder than she’d anticipated, in truth, but it wasn’t worth crying over. “And when I come to Greece I stay in the family vacation house.”

“If you were going to have a home built, what would it be like?”

“I don’t know, okay? I’ve never thought about it, but what does it matter? I was going to have a beautiful home with Ajax. Now I may very well end up being homeless because I just walked away from a deal that was essential to both my father and to Ajax. Because... Because...”

Suddenly her fists tightened. “You knew,” she said, her tone getting cold. “You knew and you’re over here pretending to be all honest and ‘marry me’ and crap, but you knew.”

He didn’t blink, his blue eyes focused on her.

“Whoever marries first gets my father’s company. That’s what you want. It’s not me, or hurting Ajax by taking my virginity or whatever else. It’s that you were going to try and get me to marry you so that you could screw him out of Holt. You’re trying to take my family business!”

“Rachel...”

“You—”

“If I had wanted that, if that was the route I’d decided to take, I would have sweet-talked you back in Corfu when you saw my ID. As it is, I let you go.”

“And then you came back. Were you going to make some sort of declaration of love and try to woo me away from the wedding and to...Vegas or something?”

The thing that was so unsettling about that prospect was the fact that it might have worked. That if she hadn’t found out she was pregnant, if he’d walked in and kissed her, and told her that he hadn’t stopped thinking about her for the past month, that he loved her, she would have probably dropped everything and run away with him.

Because she had feelings for him. Feelings that she couldn’t quite understand or deal with, but they were definitely feelings. Stupid,
stupid
feelings.

Feelings that should be utterly choked out by this most recent revelation.

“I don’t understand. Even if the past that you share—that you say you share... Even if it’s true I don’t know why you would want to destroy him so badly.”

“Of course you don’t,” he said, walking in front of her, toward the house, “because you live in a dream world, little girl. You don’t know anything about the way the world works. And you should be thankful for that.”

CHAPTER SIX

R
ACHEL
LAY
DOWN
on the white down-filled blanket and stared at the ceiling. She would ask for him to take her home if she wasn’t such a coward. If she wasn’t so afraid she didn’t have a home to go back to.

Even if she did, it would be crawling with reporters, ready to get the juicy dirt on why she’d left Ajax at the altar. And the lame thing was there was tons of juicy dirt. If the bride being pregnant with another man’s baby wasn’t a great scandalous headline, she really didn’t know what was.

Society wedding of the century became farce just that quickly and the press would absolutely adore it.

There was a knock on the door. Not Alex, (A) because he wouldn’t have knocked, and (B) because it was soft, a woman’s hand, she was almost certain.

“Yes?”

The door opened a small woman with dark hair came in. “Mr. Alex has requested that you join him for dinner out on the terrace.”

“Oh, has he now?”

“Yes,” the woman said, either not picking up on Rachel’s annoyance, or choosing not to acknowledge it.

“When does he expect me?”

“Ten minutes, miss.”

“Tell him it will be twenty—I need to dress for it. And tell him not to let that go to his head.”

The woman nodded and backed out of the room. Rachel felt like a shrew. A sweaty, mean one. She was hot from the walk, still, and in a foul mood.

A quick shower did wonders for the sweaty part, but the meanness still seemed to be simmering beneath the surface, even while she slipped into a simple black shift dress and a pair of black heels. She fastened a string of pearls around her neck and looked at her side profile. Her hair was neat, in place as it should be. Her makeup looked good.

She looked normal. Like the Rachel she was accustomed to seeing in the mirror every day.

Which was so strange because she didn’t feel like normal Rachel. She hadn’t. Not since that day she’d locked eyes with stupid Alexios Christofides.

She let out a harsh breath and exited her room to find the maid standing there waiting for her.

“I will take you to Mr. Alex.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said, even while she thought that he was only sending her an escort to make sure she didn’t bribe his pilot to get her off the island.

That was when she realized how stuck she was. With each step across the white marble floor and out toward the terrace, she felt a rope tightening around her neck, her pearls suddenly feeling heavy, like they were choking her.

She reached up and unfastened them as they walked, wadding them up in her shaking hand, holding them down at her side.

“Miss Rachel,” the maid said, announcing her as though she were a duchess of some kind.

Alex stood and her heart squeezed. No matter how angry she was, he never failed to leave her utterly speechless. He was wearing a simple white button-up shirt, unfastened at the collar, the sleeves rolled up past his forearms.

His skin looked a deeper bronze in that color, a glimpse of chest hair visible through the open neck. He looked so effortless. So ridiculously sexy.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that her body was drawn to a man like this. A man who had tricked her, used her and basically had her held captive on an island. What the ever-loving heck was wrong with her? Was she punishing herself for past sins? Or was there something that drew her to men who wanted to...use her?

She sat down, and he took his seat.

“I trust you had a nice rest?” he asked.

“I don’t think you really trust that. I’m sure you know I spent the past hour quietly freaking out in the privacy of my bedroom.”

“I suppose that’s only fair.”

“I’ve just found out I’m having a baby, on top of everything else, so yes, it is only fair.”

“That is why I proposed marriage,” he said. “Not to get Holt away from Ajax, but for the sake of the baby.”

“Great. Fine. But please know that I will not marry you. Not for the baby, not for anything. At the very least not until my sister is married and I am certain, one hundred percent certain, that you won’t get Holt because of my indiscretion. I will not allow you to hurt Ajax or my family in that way.” A startling thought occurred to her. “And if you go after my sister I will be forced to remove your male member from your body with a very dull pocketknife, and don’t think I won’t do it. I might have been spoiled from birth, but I’m also from New York, and we don’t mess around over there.”

“I have no desire to go and seduce your sister,” he said, leaning back in his chair, looking out at the ocean. As though they were discussing the weather, and not her desire to castrate him. “My plans, my priorities, have changed. My loyalty is to the child, not to my vengeance.”

“Well, it’s very early in the pregnancy, and things can go wrong, so, yet again, marriage is off the table.”

“Fine. For you, maybe it is, but not for me. I’ll continue to enter it into the discussion at times I feel are appropriate.”

“You are a massive pain in the rear, do you know that?”

“I absolutely do,” he said, lifting a glass of wine to his lips. Yeah, and he was drinking wine in front of her. He knew he was a pain. And he seemed to revel in it.

“Well, stop it.” She took a sip of water from her glass.

“Probably not. That’s twenty-six years of bad habits you’re asking me to break immediately, and I doubt it’s going to happen.”

“Another good reason to avoid marrying you.”

“Why is it you agreed to come with me?”

“I’m a massive coward,” she said. “Among other things.”

“What other things?”

“An idiot. That’s the other thing I am. I can’t believe I fell for your charm and that boyish curly thing your hair does when it’s wet and your...sparkling blue eyes.”

“Are you preparing to compose a sonnet about me?”

“Shall I compare you to a horse’s ass?”

“Is that your attempt at poetry?”

“Yes. I thought it was good.”

“Brilliant.” He took another sip of wine.

“I have to ask, Alex, because it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me—what does a guy like you want with a baby?”

“I don’t want
a
baby,” he said. “I want
my
baby and that’s an entirely different thing.”

“Just a bit-of-sperm different at this point. It’s not like you know the child, not like you could even...feel him or get an idea he was inside of me for...months and months. I would think walking away from it would be really easy for you.”

“Why is that?”

She lifted a shoulder. “Because a lot of men do. It’s not an insult, it’s just that...well, a lot of men do. And since you just picked me up with the idea of getting revenge on Ajax and that’s all done, I would have thought it wouldn’t serve your purpose to be involved with the child. Especially since I won’t marry you and let you take Holt from Ajax.”

“This is a matter of honor.”

“You have honor? Where was your honor when you were stealing my virtue in Corfu?”

“This virtue I stole,” he said, leaning forward, “where was it when we were in Corfu? Virginity I remember. But I sort of remember you flinging it at me. I don’t really remember me stealing it.”

She sniffed. “What. Ever. The thing is that I’m not really sure what’s in this for you and that makes me nervous. I’ve removed a couple of carrots and yet here you are still, like there’s another treat for you to catch—and I’m concerned about exactly what treats you think you’re going to be...getting from me. Because none. The answer is none.”

“I want my child,” he said, setting his wine glass down, his palms flat on the table. “Because I know how the world is. Because I know what it’s like to grow up without a father. I know what it is to look at trees making shadows on your wall, and to not simply wonder what sort of evil things a bogeyman might do to you, but to know, with utter certainty, every horrible thing that could become of you. What it is to know that if the bogeyman ever did come there would be no one to protect you. My child will never know these fears. I will protect him. I will give him shelter with me, security. When I’m there, he will never worry. Not about one thing.”

She looked down at the table and a plate of fish and rice was placed in front of her. It didn’t look appetizing in the least. Her stomach was too full of knots and anxiety for her to take a bite of anything.

And Alex’s speech had only added to the knots. She didn’t want to see the good in him. It was far too dangerous. She wanted to be angry. To look at him and see a mustache-twirling villain bent on tying her to the tracks in an attempt to defeat Ajax, who she was still trying to place in the position of hero.

Not that she could believe that Ajax was a villain, not in the least, but...but it wasn’t like she was longing for him to ride in on his white horse, either.

“That’s really good of you, Alex.”

“It’s basic human decency,” he said. “Every parent should want to be there for their child. What about you, Rachel? Were your parents there for you?”

“Yes,” she said. “Always. My father has always been involved in my and my sister’s lives, and when Ajax came... He loves Ajax like a son. And so did my mother.”

“You said your mother died?”

“A few years ago. She was ill. That’s one reason I never went on to higher education or anything. I had to help. Leah was young and...and she needed to live her life. My mother wasn’t the easiest person for me to get along with, but she was sick and she needed someone. So I can’t possibly resent that I spent that time with her.” She fiddled with her fork. “But then...well, then Ajax expressed the desire that we might...”

“Why did you put him off for so long?”

“I can see now, clear as day, that my saying I wanted to ‘live a little’ first was mainly because I just didn’t feel anything for him. I dated some other men, but didn’t have serious relationships with them because even though I knew Ajax wasn’t putting an exclusive claim on me it felt like I would have been cheating.” And she’d felt far too burned out to go there, but she wasn’t going to bring that up. “And then we made it official and we’ve been engaged for years and...it was comfortable. To wear his ring and go on with life like it hadn’t changed.” She looked into her water glass. “And now
everything’s
changed.”

“Well, not everything. You aren’t married.”

“And I’m not going to be.”

“Because you don’t trust me?”

“There’s that, but there’s the fact that this isn’t even close to being about trust. My father has promised ownership of Holt to the daughter who marries first and to the man she marries. He won’t go back on a promise.”

“Refreshing,” Alex said, a dark light in his blue eyes.

“Yes, well, you don’t get to benefit from it. Sorry.”

“Too bad.”

“I’m exhausted,” she said, standing. “I think dinner wasn’t the best idea. I’m going to my room.”

“Fine. Shall I have your plate cleared?”

“Yes,” she said. “And have cookies sent to my room. And decaf coffee. I don’t want to eat healthy.”

He arched a brow. “You are a rebel, Rachel Holt. How did the media ever paint you as anything else?”

“Shut up, Alex.” She turned and walked back into the house, stalking to her room. She flung open the door and then slammed it with equal fervor.

She needed something. She needed...cookies. And to open a window so that she could breathe. She walked over to the other side of the room and flung the curtains open, then shoved the windows wide.

The breeze coming in off the ocean didn’t help relieve the pressure in her chest. It didn’t help anything.

She felt like she was going to burst. The pressure behind her eyes was so intense she could barely stand it.

But there was no release. She had worked so long to keep her emotions, her desires, anything too wild or demonstrative in check, that she couldn’t let it out even now.

She couldn’t even be herself when she was alone.

The scary thing was, she was pretty sure the only time she’d been herself for more than a decade was during the night she’d spent in Alex’s arms. Naked in every single way.

He hadn’t deserved that. It had been a lie for him.

She took a deep breath, gulping the air down like water. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping for tears, desperate for a crack in the foundations she’d built.

Nothing came.

Damn that Alex. She was so angry at him, so hurt by everything he’d done. And still she craved those moments of release, those moments of feeling like she was home in herself, that only he’d ever given her.

Well, that was too bad. She wasn’t ever going to be back in his arms, ever again.

So she would just have to deal with that.

* * *

He married me, BTW.

Rachel stared down at the text from her sister, her body numb. She’d married Ajax?
Leah
had married
Ajax?

When she’d started texting with Leah that morning she hadn’t expected this. Leah had been checking on her, and she could get why, because running off like this was out of character for her, and because, yeah, she had a feeling they knew full well who Alex was.

But to find out Leah and Ajax had married? She didn’t even know how to process that.

She got up from her position on the floor and went to her computer, typing in Ajax Kouros as quickly as she could.

And sure enough.

Ajax Kouros Weds Replacement Bride

“Well...wow.”

She picked up the phone and typed in
Holy crap. Just Googled.

You’re happy? You didn’t love Ajax did you?

Her sister’s response came quickly. Leave it to Leah to worry about her, even still. Rachel couldn’t imagine her sweet younger sister with Ajax. Hell,
she
was the one who was worried.

As for the love part...

Not like that. Not the kind you need to marry a guy. You know?

She hit Send. It was a lie of omission in a lot of ways. Because she would have married him. If things hadn’t changed. If not for the baby.

The baby. All of this kept hitting her in little pieces. She had a feeling if it hit her all at once she would be completely buried by it.