Authors: Dawn Doyle
“
So why was he laughing at you?” I
asked. Even though what he said made sense, he hadn’t answered my
question of why Carl was laughing.
“
Because, he thinks it’s funny that
I’m worried.”
I knew Logan was keeping something
from me, and I had a feeling it had something to do with sparing my
feelings. Possibly from something Carl had said, or maybe even the
others, and he didn’t want me to get hurt. I suppose I’d do the
same for him.
“
Oh, so are any of the others
worried?”
“
Not really. They’re more worried
about their finals results.”
Our results were due on Friday,
right before the big game. We’d been studying so hard for them, and
we were all glad to be finally getting a break.
“
I guess that’s understandable.” I
said.
I wasn’t buying it. I knew
something else was the reason for his behavior. The gut feeling,
the
bad
feeling,
was telling me that I would find out real soon.
“
Well, we don’t have studying to
do, so do you want to do something else?” Logan asked when we
pulled up outside my house.
The past couple of days, he’d had
to go to practice and I’d been to gym club.
“
What do you have in mind?” I
asked, and I saw a flicker of something in his eyes before he
looked down to his hands.
“
We could watch a movie or go
somewhere. The guys will call later when they want to meet
up.”
Great, more Carl!
Fantastic.
To be completely honest, I was
getting tired of watching movies. We were just sitting there,
practically doing nothing. It was nice to be alone with Logan, but
the tension I felt was by no means comfortable. I wanted to cuddle
into him, for him to put his arm around me and hold each other
whilst we watched. Like couples do.
Only we’re not a couple.
“
We could watch a couple of
episodes of Sons Of Anarchy.” I finally suggested. “We have a few
on catchup.”
“
Yeah, great.” He said, with a big
smile.
Going into my house, I grabbed some
chips, popcorn and sodas, and took them up to my room. Logan sat on
the bed, plus my pillow, stroking Ruffles who seemed content curled
up next to his legs purring loudly.
I rolled my eyes at her and Logan
laughed.
“
What can I say? She loves me.” He
grinned.
So do I.
I shook my head and opened the
bags; I passed Logan his soda. I switched on the TV and placed the
snacks on the table at the end. I unzipped my hoodie and shook it
down my arms, throwing it on my computer chair. Turning back to the
bed, I saw that Logan was looking away, as if he were
embarrassed.
Then, it dawned on me.
I had shaken the jacket off. My
boobs were probably bouncing about and he saw.
Oh my God! Did he look at my
boobs?
My T-shirt wasn’t tight but shaking
off the jacket, he would’ve seen… The time on the stairs, when I
jogged down to meet him…
I almost burst out laughing. Logan
was embarrassed because he’d looked at my jiggling bad girls. It
was good that he didn’t want to be caught looking, but it wasn’t
good because it could mean that he felt guilty for looking. I
didn’t mind it
at all
.
I smiled as I sat down, rolling
onto my stomach at the end of the bed. Logan shifted his position
and lay next to me. Ruffles, the ever interfering feline, got up
and lay between us.
“
You’re smiling.” Logan said,
placing his bottle on the table.
He was smiling too, and I knew he
had no idea what I’d seen. I placed my bottle down and pressed play
to start the first episode we were going to watch.
“
I’m just happy that there’s no
more stress from Finals.” I lied, smiling even bigger.
“
Yeah, me too.” He replied. “It’s
just the game to worry about now. You’re still coming,
right?”
“
Of course.” I said, as if it were
insane to think otherwise.
“
Well then, I’ve nothing more to
worry about.” He flashed his white teeth, and we turned our
attention to the TV.
*****
We stayed lying
on our stomach’s whilst we were watching TV; occasionally reaching
for snacks and our drinks. Ruffles was still purring away, happily,
between us and wasn’t looking to move anytime soon.
Logan moved his arm back, to stroke
her head, and his fingertips brushed my arm as he did. Goosebumps
broke out immediately and I felt the tingles through my body as he
continued. I could feel my nipples hardening and he’d only touched
my arm. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if he touched me in
different places, on purpose.
Ruffles continued to purr loudly at
the attention she was receiving, and I thought I could feel Logan’s
touch aimed more in my direction than my cat’s. It might’ve been
wishful thinking on my part, but it was as if his fingers were
brushing my arm deliberately.
I should move. I should let him
think that I’m trying to move out of his way. No that might make
him think that I don’t want him to. God! I’m so confused right
now!
I thought to myself.
My body won over my brain, and I
stayed put.
Logan continued to stroke Ruffles,
and my arm, as we continued to watch Sons. Halfway through the next
episode, Ruffles got up and left the room. There was no reason for
Logan to touch me anymore, and I was pissed at my cat for
leaving.
“
I guess she had enough.” Logan
chuckled.
“
She’ll be back. You know she loves
you.” I said, nudging him with my elbow, making Logan
laugh.
“
Nah, she just uses me for her own
selfish needs. I should have a talk to her; the relationship is all
one-sided.” He said, deadly serious; a smile pulling at the corners
of his luscious lips.
I wanted to kiss them so bad, and I
had to stop myself from staring at his mouth.
“
I don’t think she’ll have much to
say.” I said. “You know, as well as I that she’s not fond of
conversation.”
“
Well, it can’t go on like this any
longer. She’s breaking my heart.” He said, with mock
hurt.
“
Good luck.” I said, pointing to
the doorway as Ruffles walked back in and proceeded to resume her
position between us.
“
Hey, Ruffles. We need to talk.”
Logan said, stroking the top of her head.
Ruffles answered with a
meow.
“
I’m feeling unloved in this
relationship. The least you could do is return some of the
affection I give to you.” He said, and Ruffles answered with
another meow, turning her head away, closing her eyes as Logan
continued stroking.
“
I told you.” I said to him. “She
won’t listen to anybody.”
“
Ruffles, you could at least pet me
back. Look, I’m sorry, but it’s over. You’ve had your chances, and
I’m thinking that you’re just not right for me.”
I laughed at his conversation with
my cat.
“
Aww, does Logan need a head rub?”
I asked, and I reached over and stroked his head.
He pretended to purr, and I watched
him as he closed his eyes as my fingers moved across his soft hair.
I’d wanted to run my fingers through his hair for so long, and now,
with just the slight touch, I was getting a tiny glimpse into what
it would feel like to do just that.
I let my hand stroke over his head
again, and Logan opened his eyes, looking right at me. I dropped my
hand back to the bed.
His phone began to ring, and he
pulled it out of his pocket, and I saw that Pike was calling
him.
We were right back in friend mode
when Logan answered the call. I could her Pike’s voice as he
spoke.
“
Hey, dude, we’re going to the
batting cages tomorrow. Just giving you a heads up. Adam wants to
practice even more before the game on Friday.”
“
Um, ok. No problem. What time do
we need to be there?”
“
Straight after school, that’s why
I’m calling, you need to bring your gear with you.”
“
Ok, thanks.”
“
Are you busy now? A few of us are
heading over to the diner. Wanna join?”
Logan looked at me and I expected
him to accept the invitation. I wouldn’t blame him, he and the guys
had a big day on Friday and they needed all of the stress relieving
activities they could get.
I could think of one I’d like to
do.
“
I am busy, actually. My Mom’s
expecting me home soon, and I promised I’d be home for
dinner.”
“
No worries, dude. See you in
school.”
Logan ended the call, and I could
tell he was wary about something.
“
Do you want to come over for
dinner?” He asked, his face flushing a little.
“
Sure. Won’t you have to let your
Mom know? I mean, if she’s only expecting you…” I said, but Logan
interrupted before I could finish.
“
My Mom isn’t expecting me soon. I
told her I’d call if I were coming home for dinner.”
“
Why did you say that to Pike,
then?”
Logan looked nervous as he chewed
his bottom lip.
I
wanted to chew his lip
so
bad…
“
Um…well… With the extra stress,
Carl will probably be a dick. I don’t want there to be any
fighting.”
“
That’s easily
solved. I just won’t go.” I said with a shrug. “It’s not like Pike
was asking
me
.”
“
He knows I’d ask you and, well,
I’d rather spend my time with you than Carl, so…”
That makes sense.
I thought to myself. Carl and I had already
fought that day, which had caused tension between Logan and me. I
didn’t want to bring that back up because we were tension free at
the moment. Ok, maybe not
completely
tension free… for
me.
“
Ok, then. In that case, I’d love
to go.”
Logan smiled, and we continued to
watch the rest of our show. Ruffles stayed curled up between us and
happily purred away, oblivious to the sound of my pounding
heart.
After the show ended we picked up
our things and I called to my Mom to let her know I was going over
to Logan’s house. Not that she minded. Far from it, as long as he
brought me back she was ok with it.
Driving down his street, my heart
sank when I saw Matt’s car in the driveway. A black Volvo C30.
Logan groaned at the same time I did.
“
I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I
don’t know why he’s here…again. He’s never at his own place
lately.”
“
It’s ok. I can deal with him.
Nothing he can say will make me leave. It’s about time he got over
the fact that we’re friends. I mean, it’s been almost three years
for fuck’s sake.” I said.
“
Yeah.” He replied, and I saw his
brows crease a little. “Let’s go in.” He smiled, his expression had
changed instantly.
*****
Throughout
dinner, Logan’s parents, Libby and Daniel, talked about our
friends, the baseball game, and the coming summer vacation. I felt
awkward talking about ‘our’ friends because they weren’t
technically mine. I was only ever there with Logan. I never hung
out with them without him.
“
I’ll be glad when it’s over.” I
said, talking about senior year.
I wasn’t looking forward to another
year of awkwardness, being overlooked, and the nasty comments from
Carl.
“
It’ll be fun going to the same
college.” Libby said, with a smile. She’d always been nice to me
and had a little glint in her eye whenever she spoke about mine and
Logan’s friendship.
Matt snorted from beside
Daniel.
“
Will you share a room too? If so,
won’t you mind the girls that Logan will be with?” He said,
slyly.
“
Matt!” Libby said, shocked at her
sons’ comment.
I just rolled my eyes, not letting
him see that it makes me sick to the stomach thinking about that.
Ok, I know we won’t share a room. That would be too awkward, and it
wasn’t allowed either. I mock yawned at Matt.
“
Please change the record Matt, I’m
bored.” I said, and Libby and Daniel exchanged glances to each
other.
Matt didn’t say anything else, but
I could feel his eyes on me as we finished our dinner. Logan leant
into me and I felt a shiver down my spine when I felt his breath on
my skin.
“
That was awesome.”
I felt my face flame, and I
swallowed the sudden pool of saliva that gathered in my
mouth.
Glancing to Matt, I saw that he was
narrowing his eyes, looking between us.