Close Up: Exposure Book Three
Read Close Up: Exposure Book Three Online
Authors: Annie Jocoby
Exposure Series Book 3
C
opyright
© 2015 by Annie Jocoby
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
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A
udioBooks
:
Beautiful Illusions
Deeper Illusions
Broken
Saving Scotty
Ever After
T
he Gallagher Family
Ryan
Beautiful Illusions
Deeper Illusions
End of Illusions
Ryan Gallagher (Illusions Series Prequel)
N
ick
Broken
Saving Scotty
Ever After
D
alilah
Fearless
Secrets and Lies
Trapped
E
xposure Series
Exposure
Focus
I
had to admit
, I was stunned, absolutely stunned, by Asher’s proposal. As much as I wanted to say yes and craved the very thought of being his wife, there was a lot that was holding me back. Rather, it was a cascade of things – one revelation after another. I finally concluded, after he told me about Sophie and her baby, that I simply couldn’t trust Asher and a word that he said.
He was still looking at me, though, a pleading expression in his eyes. I so wanted to go to him and tell him that I wanted to be with him forever, but I just couldn’t.
And, besides, according to my brain, I really didn’t know him all that well. I wished that I could remember everything that had happened between us, but, thus far, the only memories that were coming back to me were the ones regarding my little brother. Even those memories were in fragments.
He obviously felt differently about me than I did about him, though. No doubt because, well, he remembered me and the way that we were together.
I finally just sighed. “Please stop looking at me that way. I have to think about things. You have to understand, it’s like I just met you, and, while I do feel strongly for you, I don’t feel that I can trust you right now. It’s just been too many things coming at me at once. I feel just a little bit shell-shocked.”
“Shell-shocked” was probably the best term for what I was feeling, too. Although I did have fragmented memories of Nathaniel and what had happened to him, I still was feeling emotionally devastated by the revelation that he was dead. And I also knew that there was a great possibility that my mother and sister weren’t talking to me because of what had happened.
I felt that I needed to try to repair that, if possible. It suddenly became something that I was really anxious to do.
“I understand,” he said. “Really, take all the time that you need.”
I shook my head. “I just wish that my memory would come back. I wish that I could have all the memories of our time together that you have. That would certainly change things.”
He moved closer to me and took my hands. “I hope that you remember our time together as well. I really, really do. But if you don’t, I hope that I can make you feel the intensity that we always experienced together. There’s a real bond between us, CJ.”
I was quite sure that there was, but, at that moment, I could only feel…I didn’t really know how I was feeling.
The tension between us was such that it could be cut with a knife, so I decided that I had to remove myself from the situation. And, now that I knew that Nathaniel was dead, I felt an overwhelming urge to see my family. I needed to know how my mother was doing, and my sister. I would imagine that my mother was beyond devastated, and my sister as well. But I needed to know that they were okay.
“Asher, I need some time to think. And I need to see my family. I need to grieve with them, and I need to make sure that they’re okay.”
Asher took a deep breath. “CJ, you can’t do that. I mean that literally, not just that I don’t want you to do that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your mother blamed you, apparently, for what happened to your little brother. She won’t talk to you, and she has refused to return your phone calls. I’m only telling you this because I want you to be prepared. When you try to go over there and talk to her, just know that she might not be very nice to you, to say the very least.”
I nodded my head. “This is getting better and better,” I said sarcastically. “Well, I guess that I have to try. What do I have to lose anymore? I don’t remember how poorly they’ve treated me, so I’m not intimidated to try to go and talk to them.” I paused. “And, I’m sorry, Asher, but I can’t be here right now. I can’t be around you. When I’m around you, I can’t think of anything but how strongly I feel for you, and I somehow feel powerless to resist you. I can’t possibly make a decision about my future with you while we’re in the same room.”
Asher looked defeated, but he nodded his head. “Of course. When do you want to leave?”
I drew a breath. “I need to leave now. I can get a flight home – I think that I have enough money for that. At least I hope that I do.”
Asher bowed his head. “Don’t be silly. I’ll get my pilot to take you home. I would like to come with you, but I have the feeling that you don’t really want that.”
“No, I don’t. And I’m sorry, I know that you mean well, but I really don’t want your pilot to take me, either. I need to feel like a normal person, so I really would like to take a regular airplane. Please.”
Asher barely nodded his head, and he sat down on the bed. He put his face in his hands, and I felt stricken. He really looked so sad, just sitting there on the edge of the bed. But, at the same time, I knew that I had to get out of there.
I silently packed my bags. While I did this, Asher left the room and went into the living room area of the suite.
When I was packed, I went and found him. He was sitting in an easy chair, and had fixed himself a drink. He wasn’t doing anything, really, except for staring at the ceiling with the drink in his hand.
“Uh, Asher, thank you for everything. I really did have fun, and I got a lot out of going to the museums and memorials and all of that.” I took a deep breath. “I’ll be in touch.”
Asher again barely nodded his head, but he said, without looking at me “The limo will be waiting for you downstairs. I called him.”
There was a part of me that wanted to protest, but I thought better of it. It was a gesture that he evidently had wanted to make, so I felt that I should let him make it.
“Thanks for that.”
And, at that, I simply left.
I
n the limo
, I finally felt like I could think about things. I stared out the window, and tried to contemplate all of what had happened in the past day or so.
The worst thing, of course, was that I found out what was haunting me – Nathaniel was dead. And it was my fault. I somehow knew all of this, though. It was somewhere inside my subconscious mind, so that, when the truth came to light, it wasn’t as devastating as it could have been.
Not as devastating as it could have been, but still pretty damned devastating.
Then came the revelation about Asher and the baby with this Sophie woman. I shook my head. That was just too much. How could he possibly do that? I mean, I guessed that he and I weren’t together when that happened, but didn’t he hire me to fool her? That was what he had said, and that was actually a memory that I had recovered. The memory of him and me on the boat, and him springing the bullshit on me about wanting to pay me to pull a fast one on Sophie.
He was that desperate to get rid of Sophie, yet he slept with her anyhow? That didn’t even make sense. It didn’t even start to make sense.
Ah, but when did people ever make sense? It was just human nature to do stupid things that are regretted later on. Asher, despite his spectacular looks and wealth, was only human, after all. So, perhaps he had a moment of weakness. Maybe he was so sad over losing me that he was vulnerable. Whatever the reason, the fact of the matter was, he had slept with Sophie and there was a child on the way.
And the entire thing made me want to vomit.
“Which airline are you taking, Ms. Parker?” the limo driver asked me.
“I don’t really care. Just go into the first gate, and I’ll figure it out.” One airline was as good as any other, as far as I was concerned.
“Very good.”
The limo pulled up to the first gate, and I chose to fly American Airlines. I only hoped that there was a flight going to New York that evening, and that I didn’t have to wait.
The ticket agent explained that there was a 6 PM flight, but that it was possibly full. She asked me if I wanted to fly stand-by, and I told her that was fine.
I paid for my ticket, and dragged my luggage to my gate, and sat down. I didn’t feel much like surfing the net on my phone or reading my Kindle or anything else. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. As alone as I could be in a crowd full of people.
The flight was called, and people boarded, and then I was called as a stand-by. “The flight had some cancellations, so you may fly, Ms. Parker,” the ticket lady said.
Thank God.
“Thank you very much,” I said, and then she scanned my ticket, and I boarded the plane.
I found my seat and sat down.
The girl next to me smiled. “Are you going home or do you live in DC?”
“Going home.”
“Me too. I’m a student at NYU, and I’m studying English literature.”
I smiled politely and looked in my purse. I suddenly felt the need to find a pair of earphones so that I could at least pretend to be listening to a movie on my computer or something on my phone.
But, to my dismay, I couldn’t find a pair of earphones. I was going to ask the air hostess for one, but she was all the way down the aisle.
“I might be studying English literature, but I speak three languages. German, Russian and French. And English. So, I guess I really speak four languages.”
I nodded and opened my mouth to speak, but the girl continued on.
“My boyfriend is from Germany. I started seeing him when I was only 16 and he was 23. I don’t think that’s weird, do you? I mean, I’ve always been really mature for my age, and I just relate to people who are older than me. You know?”
I nodded my head, and started to open my mouth again to speak, but she just continued on. As she spoke, her right leg was bouncing up and down a mile a minute.
“Ever since I’ve been a young girl, I just have had more in common with older people. I guess that’s because I graduated from high school at such a young age. I was only 15 when I graduated, and I started college at NYU at the age of 16. That’s where I met him, at NYU. I’m a physics major, and he’s planning to join NASA when he graduates.”
At that point, I realized that the girl was on a mission to tell me a monologue, so I just nodded my head from time to time, and my mind wandered off.
After the plane was in the air, the girl next to me, whose name was apparently Michelle, was still telling me everything about her life, and I was still nodding my head. I no longer heard a word she said.
I started to think about Asher, Nathaniel and my mother. I knew that I had to try to talk to my mom as soon as I got into town. I didn’t want to put that off a moment longer.
“And anyhow, I’m planning on marrying John when I graduate, and he graduates, and I can hardly wait,” Michelle was saying. I briefly listened to more of what she had to say, before zoning out once more.
I wondered if counseling was necessary. Family counseling. If there was such a huge issue between my mother, sister and me, it seemed that a professional was going to be necessary to straighten it all out.
But could I afford that? I seemed to have insurance, because, thus far, there was no mention of my getting a bill for my hospital stay, and I was apparently in the psychiatric center for awhile. So, I would imagine that I had pretty good insurance. Perhaps I would be able to encourage my family to go to counseling with me, and the insurance could pay for it.
“I really love to cook. I’m a great cook, too. I can cook anything at all. Just give me some ingredients, and I can whip something up. I have even tried out for
Chopped.
You know, they sometimes have episodes where they have home chefs on? I got a callback for that once, but I didn’t make it on. But I’m going to keep on trying.” Michelle seemed that she wasn’t about to stop talking. I wondered how she could even breathe, because it seemed that she never stopped to take a breath.
“I love that show,” I said.
She didn’t appear to hear me. “And I love to paint, too. I really enjoy creating things on the canvas. I’ve studied the masters, because I’m trying to get an art minor at NYU. I really love the Renaissance painters, but I also like the modern painters, too. Basquiat and people like that.”
I nodded my head, trying valiantly to engage the girl in conversation. After all, if she was going to talk, perhaps I could put my two cents in as well. “I saw a movie about Basquiat, starring Javier Bardem. You know, the guy who won the Oscar for that
No Country for Old Men
movie? It was interesting and tragic.”
But Michelle was already on to the next topic. “But my great love is really playing the piano. I can play anything by ear, anything at all. You can throw anything at me, and I’ll pick it right up. Anything from complicated classical pieces to Gershwin to the Beatles. Sometimes I think that I should pursue that as a career instead of pursuing an English degree. I’ve been told that I should audition for Julliard, but I think that it’s too late for that. But maybe I should. I keep hearing that I would be an outstanding addition to that school.”
At this point, I had to almost laugh. It seemed that this girl was the most Mary Sue person I could have possibly imagined, if even 10% of what she was saying was true. I wondered if she was going to soon launch into how she was selected for the Mission to Mars.
Nope. “And you know, I was also selected to be on
The Bachelor.
My boyfriend doesn’t like that idea, of course, but I couldn’t imagine anything more fun. I mean, it’s a chance to travel around the entire world on someone else’s dime. And meet all kinds of interesting people, too. Actually, I wasn’t really selected just yet, but I have made the final cut.”
Somehow, I believed her about that. She would be perfect for that show, come to think of it, as she was completely full of herself, and the other girls would absolutely hate her. She would probably make some good TV, too. That was one of the shows that I watched on a fairly regular basis, and girls like her were what made the show.
By the time the plane touched down in New York City, I was feeling better about everything. Even though Michelle couldn’t have possibly have known, she did me a lot of good. Because she made me laugh. It was unintentional, of course, but that didn’t matter.
“Um, good luck,” I said to her.
She continued to chatter as I got my carry-on bag out of the overhead bin. I turned on my phone, and saw that Asher had already called me.
I sighed. I didn’t necessarily want to talk to him. I was still trying to clear my head about everything, and I didn’t want to get confused. And that was what happened when I was around him – I got confused. My heart was always saying one thing, and my brain another.
If only your memory would come back, everything would be different.
I knew this. I would be able to have my brain catch up with my heart, and, hopefully, I would know that Asher was a man that I could trust after all.
But, as it was, I was just completely confused.
I got off the plane and called a cab. Even though it was around eight o’clock, I knew where I was going to go.
I gave the cabbie the address for my mother.