One Paris Summer (Blink) (28 page)

He came to a halt. “Wait. Slow down. Tell me about this program.”

I explained it to him and he watched me with a surprisingly neutral expression. “You hate Paris.”

“I don’t hate it anymore.”

His eyes narrowed. “Because of him.”

I shrugged. “I guess he’s part of it.”

“So you’re doing this for
him
? You’re going to uproot your entire life to stay here in Paris with him—and he won’t even tell his friends about you? Sophie, don’t let this guy hurt you like that.”

When he put it that way, it sounded so wrong. Was Mathieu really the reason I wanted to audition? I had admitted he was at least part of it. And in a way, Eric was right. The secret had begun to chafe, especially when I was hanging out with Mathieu’s friends. My white lie about a boyfriend back home had bit me in the butt. Thomas had begun asking questions, and although I tried to evade most of them, I’d had to tell a few more white lies to cover my first big one.

I didn’t want to lie anymore.

My eyes filled with tears. “I think I’m going to stay home this afternoon.”

“Soph, I’m sorry. I just don’t want him to hurt you.”

I tried to hold back my tears. “I know.
Merci
.”

He looked surprised by my accidental slip of French, but he shook it off. “Why don’t you and me hang out this afternoon? Just the two of us, like our first day here.”

I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“What would you like to do?”

More tears burned my eyes. Mathieu had asked me the same thing before our magical night at the Eiffel Tower. “I don’t know.”

“Let’s start with lunch. I’m starving.”

I grinned. “You’re always starving.”

“Hey! I’m a growing boy. But it’s too expensive here. Let’s go to the Latin Quarter.”

“Sure.”

We took the Metro to the Latin Quarter, then found an alley that catered to tourists. The owners and employees stood outside the various open-air restaurants like circus barkers, offering enticements like free drinks and half-price entrees. We picked an Italian restaurant.

“Won’t Dane be upset if you don’t join them?” I asked after we were seated at a table on the patio.

“Nah.” He picked up a breadstick and took a bite, watching the tourists pass with their bags of souvenirs. “He’s obsessed with Camille.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, pretending indifference, but I could see it bothered him.

“For what it’s worth, Marine is totally into you.”

His gaze jerked back to me. “What?”

I laughed. “Did you really not know?”

He grimaced. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure. Does that make you sorry you stayed with me?”

“Nah.” He took another bite of his breadstick.

“What are they doing today, anyway?”

“They’re going to a cemetery outside of town to see Jim Morrison’s grave.”

“Why would they want to see
his
grave?”

He shook his head. “Duh, because he’s a classical legend.”

“Mozart. Bach. Rachmaninoff.
Those
are classical musicians,” I teased. We’d had this conversation before. Eric loved classic rock.

He was silent for a moment. “And this school where Mattchew’s mother teaches . . . what would you learn there? Would it be like a high school with music classes?”

“I’ve heard of the university
conservatoire
, but I didn’t know it had a
lycée
program.”

He gave me a blank look.

“High school. I only found out when he told me about the
lycée
program last week, but I didn’t give it serious consideration until his mother actually invited me to audition.”

“Would she let you in if he asked her to?”

“I doubt it. They both said it was a very competitive program. The audition is invitation only.” I sighed. “But even if I did want to go, there’s little hope of me getting chosen. Mathieu’s mother might have gotten me the audition, but I would have to really bring it to win the spot.”

He kept his gaze on me. “But you want it.”

“I don’t know.” I shifted in my seat and leaned forward. “I mean, it’s a huge honor to be invited to audition, and it’s a prestigious university, but it’s
Paris
—”

“Which you no longer hate.”

“True. I’ve started having fun with Thomas and Sarah . . . when she thinks Camille’s not looking. And the city is beautiful. But when Jenna gets here on Sunday, I want to spend time with her. If I audition, I’ll have to beef up my practice time to more than four hours a day. I might have to learn some new pieces, which is
insane
. I won’t have as much time to spend with her.” I shook my head. “What am I thinking? This is crazy.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. I guess it depends on why you’re doing it.” He gave me a pointed look.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know if I want to audition at all. Maybe I should call it off.”

“Liar.”

My eyes flew open wide.

“You want to audition, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The question is, do you want to spend your last two years of high school in Paris, France?”

“You know I don’t.”

“I don’t know that at all. Dad’s here.”

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. “So?”

“So? If he’d asked you to come with him to Paris a year ago, you would have thrown all your clothes into a couple of suitcases and taken off without a good-bye.”

I twisted my mouth into a grimace. “No way.”

“You would have. I think part of why you’re still so pissed at Dad is that he didn’t take you with him. He went on this adventure and left you behind. If you saw him all the time, you would have a better chance of fixing you guys. I don’t think this summer is enough.”

“I hate you right now,” I mumbled, taking a sip of my water. What I really hated was that he was probably right. About all of it. “When did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been smart. You were just too stupid to notice.”

I grinned. “Whatever.”

“Look,” he said, leaning forward and turning serious. “If you decide you really want to go to school here, do it for you, not Dad. Not Mathieu. Do it because it’s your dream. Mom gave up her dream to make Dad happy, and I’m pretty sure that’s a part of the reason they’re divorced.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Mom wanted to go to medical school, remember?”

“Yeah, so?”

“She got accepted, but then gave it up so Dad could do a fellowship in Paris.”

“Why didn’t they just have a long-distance relationship?”

“She was pregnant with me.”

“Oh . . .” How had I never put this together before? “Thanks, Eric.” He’d helped me more than I could have ever expected.

We walked around a bit after finishing lunch, and on a whim we ended up racing remote control sailboats against each other at the Luxembourg Gardens. Ever competitive, Eric ended up racing a group of little kids, but one of them handed him his butt on a platter. I died laughing when Eric realized the kid was eight years old.

“The look on your face!” I said as we stopped to buy ice cream cones on the way to the Metro station. “I wish I’d taken a picture so I could blow it up. I’d post it on the bathroom wall so I could see it every time I sit down to pee.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “Yuck it up. But I still say I had a crap boat. I mean, come on.
You
almost beat me. How else can you explain that?”

I burst out laughing. We got our cones and started walking, and I looked up at him as he took a bite. “Eric . . . thanks for today. You’ve been . . .” I paused. “I haven’t had this much fun all summer.”

“Not even with Math-Eww?”

I laughed and shook my head. “It’s a very close second.”

He pumped his fist into the air. “I’m the champion at something.”

My smile softened. “Yeah. You’re the champion of something, all right.”

And I was pretty sure my brother had helped me make a decision I hadn’t planned to make.

Which meant I really
was
crazy.

“
OKAY
,”
JENNA SAID
. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down. What do you mean you’re breaking up with Mathieu?”

I was pacing outside the apartment building while I talked on my phone, looking like the crazy person I’d apparently become. I’d spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about whether I wanted to do the audition for Mathieu or for me. I’d come to the conclusion that it
was
for me, especially since our relationship was still so clandestine. If I actually got into his mother’s program, I would have to move to Paris, and there was no way our secret relationship could stay secret forever. Besides, I
really
liked him, and if we continued to see each other, I was certain I’d end up with a broken heart. He still hadn’t asked Camille for her blessing, and at this point, it was obvious he wasn’t going to.

“Now that I think of it,” I said, “I’m not sure there’s anything
to
break up. We just walk to and from his apartment and eat breakfast together. How do you define
that
? Oh crap. We’re breakfast buddies,” I said, horrified by the thought. “We’re like that movie your mom made us watch.”

Jenna laughed. “
The Breakfast Club
? No. You’re not in trouble.”

“Not yet. All the more reason to end it.”

She turned serious. “But I can tell you really like this guy.”

“I do,” I said, fighting tears. “But I don’t like all the lying and sneaking around. I deserve better.”

“Yeah. You do,” she said quietly. “You’ve really changed over there. You’re more sure of yourself. Two months ago you wouldn’t have even considered breaking up with a breakfast buddy.”

It was nice to hear this confirmation of something I had already felt. I laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “That’s because I never
had
a breakfast buddy before.”

“Look at it this way. Maybe you’ll change your mind about Thomas if Mathieu’s out of the way.”

“Maybe.” But I doubted it.

“What will you do about practicing on his piano?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to keep playing. Is that wrong?”

“No, I don’t think so. That’s how becoming breakfast buddies all began. But he might not be open to it.”

“He’s a really nice guy. He’ll let me keep practicing.” It was true, which made my heart ache even more.

“Tell me again why you’re breaking it off? Oh, yeah. The whole sneaking around thing.”

“That seems reason enough to end it.”

“Yeah. You’re right,” she sighed. “But I really wanted to meet him. Can you wait until after I get there on Sunday?”

“No. I think I need to end it straightaway. Like a Band-Aid. But you’ll probably meet him. If he lets me keep practicing at his place, maybe you can go with me. You can read or something while I practice.”

“Yeah.” She didn’t sound too thrilled.

“He has a brother. He’s fifteen and totally cute.”

“I don’t think we’re old enough to become cougars.”

“Maybe he’s only a few months younger,” I teased. “I think you should reserve judgment until after you meet him. Did I mention how cute he is?”

“You’re terrible,” she groaned.

“The worst.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Soph. I know you really liked this guy.”

Once I had made the decision, I wasn’t sure how to end it. I didn’t want to wait until Wednesday to tell him. That would be agony. I needed to do it as soon as possible. But should I call him or meet him in person? If he were my boyfriend, breaking up over the phone would be wrong. But what was the rule for breakfast buddies?

I sent him a text.

Can you meet me tonight or tomorrow morning? It won’t take long.

He answered back in seconds.

Are you in trouble?

His response ripped my heart open even more.

No. I’m fine. But we need to talk.

I had no idea if the significance of those four words would be lost in translation, but if his slow response was any indication, he got it.

OK
7:30 tonight at the patisserie where we get breakfast
OK

I went upstairs and found Eric. Camille and Dane were back and the guys were playing a video game. I leaned into his ear. “I need to go out for about a half hour tonight. Around seven twenty-five. Will you cover for me?”

He kept his gaze on the screen, but his jaw tightened. “No.”

“I think you’ll approve of my reason for going. I’d like to take care of it as soon as possible.”

His head jerked up and his eyes widened in question.

I sucked in my bottom lip and nodded.

He tossed down his controller and stood. “I’ll be right back. I have to talk to Sophie.”

“
Dude
, you just spent all afternoon with her.”

“I’ll just be a minute. Keep your pants on.” He followed me into the kitchen. “Are you breaking up with him?” he whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Do you need me to go with you?”

Where had all this sudden concern come from? I wasn’t the only one being changed by Paris. “No. But I don’t want anyone to know where I went.”

“Just say you went down to
MonoPrix
to get tampons or something.”