One Song Away (4 page)

Dammit
. I’m going to say yes. A paying job
and
the chance to spend more time around Jake? What could possibly be better?

“Well.” I’m not sure how much longer I can resist those dimples. “I mean, sure I’ll do it. Thank you, Coop. You’re saving my ass.” I lean forward in my seat and give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

He beams at me. “No,
you’re
doing
me
a huge favor. We just lost several staff members, so I’m really hurtin’ for help. I really appreciate it.” He settles back in his chair, dropping the smile, and I see how exhausted he looks. “I promise you’ll like working here. I’m a great boss, and I’ll owe you, big time.”

I open my mouth to tell him it’s not a big deal, and that
he’s
the one helping
me
, but then I realize I have a very rare chance here. A chance to ask for a favor of my own that will get me out of my current situation with my family. Maybe there’s a way I can still save face here. I’m
really
not in a position to bargain, but I know he’ll help me if I ask him to be my fill-in boyfriend. We both owe each other much more than one favor, considering all the times we covered for the other as teens. We were always competing to see what we could get away with, and we never kept score, but it’s impossible to think he’d turn me down after all the shit we pulled.

Besides, how hard could pretending to be attracted to Coop for a week or two be? It’s not as though he isn’t easy on the eyes. Sure, I just vowed that I wouldn’t do the whole teenage unrequited-crush thing again, but I’m an adult now. I can resist him, and this wouldn’t be real, anyway.

Why
not
Jake? I already know him, and I know he’s
safe
. He won’t hurt me. And at least with Jake, this fake relationship won’t be me bribing some stranger. At least it will be with someone I have a history with, if he agrees.

I give Jake a slow smile and a wink. “Well, now that you mention it…”

He groans. “What is it? I know that smile. You want something.”

Fluttering my eyelashes at him, I grin. “Why would you think that, Coop?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “No, that’s the smile and tone of voice that convinced me to streak, as you recently reminded me. The whole school never knew, but Nolan found out and snitched. My dad’s face when he got through chewing me out… I thought he was gonna have a stroke.”

“I mean, you
wanted
to streak, so…” Sobering, I link my hands together. “This is different, though. I’d owe you my life, basically.”

“So dramatic.” His eyes shoot upward. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Uh…well the thing is I kinda sorta…” I can’t hold his gaze at this point. “Lied to Mama and told her I had a boyfriend, and now I need a fake boyfriend for a family dinner soon.” The last sentence comes out in a mumbled rush, and I feel overheated. I’m prepared for him to laugh at me, but instead he’s quiet for so long that I finally look up.

Jake’s eyes are sparkling. “Can’t you pick up one of those over at the market? I think they’re on sale this week.”

If it’s possible, I swear I can
feel
my face getting redder. “Not funny, Jake Cooper!” I smack his arm lightly. “I asked you because I trust you, okay? So…please help me?”

He’s clearly fighting laughter, but he gets himself under control in time to dodge my next punch. His expression changes by the time he answers me. He’s quiet again, meeting my eyes and my scrutiny. I don’t know whether to hope he’ll agree to my proposal, or whether I want him to turn me down. All I know is I’m running out of options, and the last thing I want is for my family to find out that I lied.

“I’m just messing with you, Claire.” His smile comes back, but it’s sweet instead of amused. “Of course I’ll help you. God knows you’ve saved my ass before. One fake relationship, coming right up.”

Chapter Five

The music is so loud the next night at Time Out that I can barely think, but when I meet Sloane’s eyes, I can’t hear a thing she’s saying, but I don’t need volume. She mouths “What the hell” at me and I feel a flush crawling across my throat. I didn’t see her yesterday, because I found an apartment, which gave me time to dread telling her my news. And apparently I was right to be nervous. Finishing my drink, I head for a refill.

What the hell
was
I thinking yesterday with Jake? I sigh and drum my fingers on the bar while I wait for my second glass. The bartender tries to make conversation, but I don’t feel chatty. After he slides me my drink, I join Sloane just as the song ends, and a slower, quieter one starts.

She takes a breath of her own and lets it out slowly. “I don’t even know where to start. Jeez, Sophie.”

My face overheats again, like clockwork. “I know. I’ve been having these moments of temporary insanity, and I guess that’s what happened yesterday. Is it
that
bad? At the time it seemed almost logical, better to do this with Jake than with a stranger. Or tell Mama I lied.”

“You asked the guy you spent our teen years madly in love with—the guy who never tried to be more than friends—to pretend to be your boyfriend, and you’re asking me if it’s that bad.” She whistles, shaking her head. “It’s
your
heart, girl.”

She’s right. It’s my heart on the line if this ends badly. My life is open for total destruction if I can’t follow through on keeping my feelings out of this arrangement. That’s all it can be with Jake, an arrangement. He needs a barista and I need a boyfriend. We both get something out of the deal. I’ll work for him, and hopefully I won’t drive away all his customers. And he’ll charm my parents so completely that when we “break up” they’ll give me space.

It will work. It has to work. I can
totally
do this.

Can’t I?

I’m gripping the stem of my wine glass so hard that I’m surprised it doesn’t break. “I’m not sure if I can do this.” My eyes widen as the enormity of the situation settles over me. In the heat of the moment I didn’t think. I just saw an advantage and grabbed hold of it.

Sloane studies me. “Are you okay, Soph? You look pale.”

Swallowing hard, I fan my face with my free hand. “I’ll have to act like Jake is my boyfriend.” Is it just me or is it hot in here? “I’ll have to hold his hand and kiss him…” Nothing but a clicking sound emerges in place of my next words. Teen Sophie would be flailing happily in this situation. I’m not sure what
I’m
feeling, but I’m going to need a few more drinks to mute whatever it is.

“Yes.” She sighs. “You didn’t think about that, did you?” She captures my fanning hand with hers. “Sophie, you don’t
have
to do this. You can back out.”

“If I don’t, Mama will set me up with a Harvard graduate who thinks I should be seen and not heard. You know she’s always wanted me to settle down with someone dependable. And I may not know exactly what I want to do with my life right now, but I
definitely
know I want to find my happy ending on
my
terms.” I shrug. “Besides, they’ll approve of Jake, and even if it’s just temporary, I want that.”

Nodding, Sloane squeezes my hand, her dark, expressive eyes hold mine. “And I support that. I support
you
. But at the same time, I know Jake is your kryptonite, so I’m worried.” She clears her throat. “I know you’ve grown up just like he has, just like I have, but he was your first love. Can you really forget all of that?”

Was
Jake my first love? Can it
be
love when the other person doesn’t love you back? All the years waiting, reading between the lines, all the false hopes, all the times I put my feelings aside so I didn’t ruin our friendship…

It’s the last slow song of our senior prom when Jake approaches me. I’m fairly sure I’ve danced with everyone here tonight
except
him so I don’t believe it, even when he stops at my table. The low conversation continues around me, but Jake is all I can see, as always. He looks amazing in a white tux that only he could pull off, his brown eyes sparkling as he holds his hand out to me.

“May I have this dance, Claire?” His deep voice sounds huskier than normal, though that’s probably my imagination. I’ve had this fantasy so many times that I can practically recite our lines, but this time I want it to be unrehearsed.

I let him lead me onto the dance floor. He’s been out here a lot tonight too, with his date, with friends, with my group when we staged an impromptu conga line and pissed off everyone else. But not with me. Jake is one of my best friends, but he’s so careful with me. He never crosses any lines, no matter how hard I wish he
would
. I keep giving him opportunities, and he never takes them. This dance is another one.

Maybe our last one.

We fit together just like we did the last time we danced. He pulls me as close as he can. For the first time in I don’t know
how
long, my curves feel like they were made for a reason—to fit into his angles. I vow that if a teacher separates us, I’ll go Rambo on their ass, even if I’d probably just make a fool of myself. This is the only moment I’ll get like this with Jake. Graduation is in three days. I’m planning to leave here, unless something happens to change my mind. I’ll be eighteen and starting a life of my own, for better or worse.

Tonight is the last time the line between the teenage world and the adult one will blur; it might be my only chance to change my stars.

I lay my head on Jake’s shoulder as the song plays. It’s probably my imagination, but I think I feel his lips on my temple. I sigh as we sway in a slow circle. I’ve imagined this before, but now I don’t know where to start.

Adrenaline pumps through me, and I can feel tears in my eyes. I want the song to last forever, but I know it won’t. When I raise my head, my gaze travels from Jake’s mouth to his eyes. Those familiar eyes have always held a smile just for me. I see him in all his incarnations throughout the years, from stocky preteen, brash freshman, to senior quarterback. My confidante in our tree house when we were teens. My savior the night my sophomore boyfriend tried to take things too far outside the Christmas dance. My best friend, the person I trust most. I listen to his dating woes and rescue him from boring family dinners.

Can I do this? Can I cross the line past friendship into something more? Is it worth the risk? Will we burn brighter than I have with any other boy, or will we fizzle out like a shooting star? Will we make it past high school and into adulthood? Will we glimpse forever? Or will we just have this one night, this one moment? And
if
that’s all we have, will it be enough? Will it be worth changing everything?

“Jake.” He raises a hand and pushes my curls out of my eyes, his fingers lingering on my skin. My mouth goes dry.

“Claire…”

I laugh nervously. “You go first.” I’m really thinking
‘Kiss me.’
I think it over and over again as the song draws to a close, because we’re running out of time.

“I just wanted to say…no matter what happens, I’m so happy we’ve stayed friends all these years.” He swallows twice, like there’s more he wants to say, but he isn’t sure of the words. Then he puts a few inches of space between us. “Best friends. You’re my best friend, Claire.”

Friends.
My hands are still curled into his suit jacket, but I feel all my adrenaline disappear and I open my fists. Disappointment lodges in my throat like a sob, and I see my one chance disappear. With a dying smile, I let Jake go.

For the second time in two days, I rest my head in my hands. “I’m
so
in over my head.” I let out a quiet moan.

“I’m going to go get us something stronger.” I hear the clinking of glasses, then Sloane is gone.

Another song starts, this one fast and loud. Once I get the next drink down, I’ll definitely unceremoniously dump my worries for a few minutes. I’m probably a
terrible
dancer, but I always have a good time shaking the Wright family genes on a dance floor. There’s something so freeing about closing my eyes and just dancing the shit out of a song.

I hear someone plunk a glass on the table, but I don’t even bother raising my head. “That better be my alcohol,” I say.

A rumbling laugh follows my words. A decidedly not-Sloane, not-even-female laugh. “It’s mine actually, but if you need it…”

My eyes fly open. Suddenly, I’m all too aware of the fact I’m the definition of a hot mess. I try to always look great, if only for myself, but I can’t even make any excuses tonight. I threw on jeans and a slouchy shirt, and I’m not wearing any makeup. At all.

Jake, by contrast, might has well have stepped away from a modeling shoot. He’s wearing a tight-as-sin black T-shirt and faded jeans. The shirt clings to his chest in a way I’d like to, so I jerk my gaze upward, but that’s no better. I’m short enough that my eye level just happens to be his mouth, which is curving into a bemused grin the longer I stare—and I can’t seem to stop.

Whatever he’s selling, I’m buying. In bulk.

“If you look at me like that around your family, they’ll definitely believe we’re dating.” Jake knocks back his drink while I consider the pros and cons of simply turning and running. Eventually I decide to stay, because depriving myself of ogling his muscles really would be a shame.

My only saving grace is either he really
doesn’t
realize I’m eye-sexing the hell out of him, or he knows and he isn’t letting on. If it’s the former, he must have smoked too much pot in high school, but if it’s the latter, I probably (okay,
definitely
) love him more than ever.

“Just practicing.” Tossing my hair with an ease I don’t feel, I eye Jake from under my lashes. He’s leaning against the table looking like he belongs here. Like he’s totally at ease. I want his confidence, but I’ve never been entirely relaxed around him. There’s always been tension, at least for me. I’ve always felt unbearably bowed around him.

“So, out celebrating the new job?”

“Yep. Plus, I just signed a lease for an apartment of my own…” I pause, smirking at him. Fake it ‘til you make it. “And I have a new boyfriend.”

He nods, pretending to consider this information, and his eyes gleam. “New boyfriend, huh? This guy gonna move you into your new place?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sloane approaching us. “Maybe,” I say. “He seems reliable. So if he
wants
to help, he could come by 25 Pine Avenue day after tomorrow.” My heart is beating way too fast for this encounter, but there’s no way I can slow it. This has always been my normal around Coop.

He collects his glass and winks at me. “I’ll see you then, Claire.”

Then he’s gone, blending into the crowd. I’m still staring after him when Sloane reappears at my side. I grab one of the shot glasses out of her hand before she can say a word. Then I down it.

“I’m never gonna survive fake-dating Jake Cooper.”