One Step Away (A Bedford Falls Novel Book 1) (31 page)

The more Marisa heard, the less she wanted
to hear. Yet, in a perverse sort of way, she needed to hear it, to
grasp all of the damage her mother had done. “That doesn’t explain
why you treated Dad so horribly.”

Jaclyn took a final pull from her cigarette
and blew it at the overhead fan, which pushed the smoke around the
room. She stubbed out the cigarette in an ashtray on the coffee
table. “Any man who doesn’t stand up to a woman doesn’t deserve
her.”

Marisa wasn’t sure if she should scream at
her mother…or laugh at her. “Dad retired before he turned 50. He
had a franchise with eight different locations. He made more money
in two decades than I’ll make in 60 years. He treated you like a
queen. If you ever ended up in trouble, he’d be at your side no
matter the time or the day. You were best friends. And you’re
saying he doesn’t deserve you?”

“That’s right.” Breaking eye contact, Jaclyn
scooped up a pack of cigarettes on the coffee table, slipped one
out, and lit it with a lighter. She let it dangle between her lips,
inhaling deeply. Then she met her daughter’s eyes. “I’m too good
for him. And he knows it. That’s why he never talked back to me. He
knew he’d never get anyone better.”

Marisa had never seen or heard anyone so
pathetic in her life. She marched toward the door.

“Sorry to burst your bubble about
Daddy-Dearest.”

Marisa grasped hold of the doorknob but
turned back. “All my life I made excuses for you: telling friends
in middle-school and high-school that you were too busy to meet
their parents; that you wouldn’t allow me to have sleepovers
because you woke up early for work when you never even had a job. I
can’t believe all the times I’ve spent trying to make you proud of
me.”

Marisa paused, the bulge in her throat
making it almost impossible to continue speaking. “I can’t believe
all of the energy I’ve wasted trying to make you…love me.”

Her mother’s aloof mask finally cracked,
providing an opening that allowed Marisa to understand the real
reason that Jaclyn constantly badgered her husband. It hit her with
the force of a blow to the head. The clarity felt like someone had
opened every window in this house, clearing out all of the smoke;
it allowed her to breathe easier. And think more clearly than ever
before.

“Here’s the truth, Mom: you’re wrong about
Dad. It’s the other way around. You’re the one who doesn’t deserve
him. And he’s spent the past thirty years trying to prove it to
you. You have only yourself to blame for your unhappiness.”

Marisa began to feel that perhaps Alex was
right: she didn’t have to turn out like her mother. Doing so was a
choice, a path she could avoid. Until now, she’d thought that all
of her baggage would warp Alex’s world, that he’d become jaded just
like her.

But this time, Marisa decided not to lie to
herself: true, if they dated and things didn’t work out, she was
afraid of losing Alex forever. But even more important, Marisa
feared that she would turn out just like her mother.

She feared that she couldn’t give Alex what
he needed, that she would mistreat him, and that he would regret
getting mixed up with her. In short, they’d both end up
broken-hearted.

But that hadn’t happened, had it? Each time
she pushed him away, Alex hadn’t done as she’d requested. If
anything, after each incident, he came back even more determined to
win her over. He pushed back. As much as she loved her father, Alex
wouldn’t cave in like him.

He fought back. He’d proven that he loved
her, despite her flaws.

That was the one thing about her father that
bothered her; he hadn’t fought back against her mother. He simply
took the abuse day after day.

But Alex had fought for her (and with her)
again and again. He’d proven over and over, regardless of the
obstacles that she’d placed in front of him that she could count on
him.

And what about Brad? Every time she pushed
him away, he gave her space. He didn’t call her. Didn’t come see
her. He just ignored her. Until
she
called him. He didn’t
love her. He never had.

She’d only distorted the truth because she
wanted to believe that he truly cared. She wanted to believe that
he loved her, supported her, and would always be there for her.

And only one man had met each of those
standards. He’d been patient and thoughtful and understanding. He’d
never given up on her, even though he’d had many opportunities over
the past two years.

But Alex had always believed in her, which
in turn, made her believe in him. In all, he’d waited for her. He’d
waited until she was ready to not only see the truth and believe
it, but to
feel
it.

She now realized that she hadn’t trusted
Alex because, if she gave in to the temptation and considered him
as a romantic partner and if it didn’t work out, she would not only
lose her best friend but also the man that she loved.

And while she’d lost boyfriends before,
she’d never had a more intimate relationship than the one she
shared with Alex. If she lost his friendship, it would leave an
emptier hole inside her than losing a lover. But now, after
examining the evidence, she realized that Alex had proven his
trustworthiness beyond all doubt.

It now occurred to her why she’d
occasionally called upon Alex when breaking up with other men: she
wanted him by her side because he fought for her, even when she
couldn’t fight for herself.

But despite that knowledge, she realized an
even more surprising fact: she wanted him there because, buried
deep down, she wanted Alex to replace the men that he’d banished.
She’d secretly wanted him to herself.

But she hadn’t acted upon those feelings
because, in the two years that they’d known each other, he hadn’t
made a move. And while that seemed like a trivial matter, she
needed Alex to feel that he
deserved
her, that they were
equals.

Otherwise, Marisa feared that she might fall
into the same vicious cycle her parents carried out. And if that
happened, she would end their relationship, and they would never
speak again.

These insights only appeared after Marisa
believed Alex enough to consider the possibility that she was not a
replica of her mother. Visiting Jaclyn had fortified that idea.

Marisa admitted that she might occasionally
have an outburst that reminded her of something her mother might do
or say, but now that she knew the difference between them, she felt
certain that she could get a handle on those darker impulses and
change herself for the better.

With this new understanding came an
unexpected side-effect: she knew exactly how to handle her
predicament with Brad and Alex. With a new outlook on life and a
firmer grasp on her identity, she turned around without looking
back at her mother and walked out of her life forever.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

The next morning, Marisa called Brad and
asked him to meet her for coffee at
Forever and Always
. She
knew that Kelsey worked in her office on Saturday mornings and into
the afternoon, but she didn’t want to disturb her friend. Instead,
she was focused on her mission to end her relationship with
Brad.

She didn’t want to sit around and chat with
anyone before or after that happened. She just wanted to get it
over with and move on with her life.

Brad stepped through the door and nodded at
her with a cocky smile. “Morning, babe,” he said, walking up to her
before sliding into the booth opposite her. He drummed his fingers
on the table, snapped up a menu, and scanned it. “What happened
last night?”

“What happened was that you stuck your
tongue down Cassandra’s throat.”

Brad froze. He lowered the menu and looked
at her. “You saw that, huh?”

She decided to hear what excuse he planned
to offer.

“Okay, look. She whispered in my ear then
kissed me. I was like, who is this chick? What was I supposed to
do?”

Nearly as amused by his version of the facts
as she was repulsed by his deception, she said, “I saw her whisper
in your ear. But kissing you? No. You kissed her.” Seeing him about
to object, she said, “You kissed her, Brad. That’s all there
is.”

“You don’t want to hear my side of
things?”

“You just told me your side. Then I told you
the truth. They shouldn’t be different. It means you’re a
liar.”

He waved his hands as though this was all
just a simple misunderstanding. “I was the one who got kissed. I
was there, okay? I should know. So, I’m not a liar.”

She glared at him, revolted by how easily he
lied to her. How many times had she fallen for similar excuses,
disregarding her suspicions and believing his dishonest statements?
“What about the poem?”

“The what?” he asked, as though he’d never
heard of the word “poem” much less written one. “Oh, yeah, right.
That tells you how I feel better than I ever could with words.” He
smiled again, revealing that he thought he’d surpassed the
difficult portion of this question and answer session. “That’s how
strongly I care for you.”

The ease with which he muttered the
fabrications astounded her. “The words touched my heart more than
you’ll ever know. But I’d like to hear you recite some of it for
me. It’s one thing to read it, but to hear you say it while looking
into my eyes is…more intense.”

A blond waitress who looked a couple
birthdays shy of the legal drinking age stopped by their booth,
extracting a small notepad, but she dropped her pen. She bent over
to retrieve it.

Brad’s gaze followed her.

Marisa sighed, shaking her head. “Really,
Brad? My eyes are over here, not down that woman’s dress.” Had she
been blind before? Or just too unobservant (or fearful) to notice
his behavior? How pathetic!

The waitress rose with flushed cheeks. She
turned to Marisa, putting the pen to her notepad.

“Would you please give us a few more
minutes?”

The waitress grinned. “With pleasure.” She
left them.

Marisa, astounded by Brad’s self-restraint
in not watching the waitress walk away, clapped her hands. “One for
two. 50 percent: not bad. For a dog.”

“Damn, I’m getting all this anger coming off
you.”

She put a few knuckles under her chin,
feigning deep concentration. “Hmm, I can’t imagine why.”

“What do you want me to say? It’s different
for men than women. When we see an attractive woman, we can’t help
but look. It’s a reflex. It doesn’t mean anything. Half the time,
we don’t even notice what we’re looking at.”

“But the other 50 percent of the time, you
are
looking. And that’s not good enough for me.”

“Is that what this is? You’re breaking it
off with me…again?” He sat back in the booth, an arrogant grin
parting his lips. “How many months before you come calling? Last
time it was nine months. And you look pretty serious, this time. I
guess I’ll see you in about…15 months, maybe 16.”

“This time is for good. I can’t trust you. I
won’t trust you. Ever again.”

Shaking his head, he picked up the menu
again. “I’ve never been in this joint before.” He surveyed the
room. “It’s pretty cool. Like it’s the ’80s again.”

“That’s the idea, Brad. It’s a
themed-restaurant. And I meant what I said. I’m going to the
washroom. When I come back, I expect you to be gone.” She got up to
leave.

He locked his palm around her wrist,
half-getting out of his seat. “Okay, I kissed her. Is that what you
wanted to hear? I’m weak. I admit it. But you know we’re supposed
to be together. Why else do we keep finding our way back to each
other?”

“I guess I was just as weak as you…until
now, that is.” She pulled her hand out from under his and stepped
away from her booth.

“Every day I think of your hair and…it
smells really good.”

Marisa stopped. It sounded like Brad was
trying to remember the words from Alex’s poem. She looked over her
shoulder, not because she wanted to belittle a man she truly wanted
to feel something for, but to remember what it felt like to see him
work so hard to cover up his lies.

“And your eyes…”

“What about them?”

“They’re so…perfectly spaced on either side
of your nose. Well, I didn’t write that obviously. But what I’m
trying to say is—”

“Please stop. We both know Alex wrote that
poem for me. I’m going to the washroom. When I return, I expect you
to be gone. Goodbye, Brad,” she repeated. She walked down the
aisle, pushed through the bathroom door, and stepped inside.

The four stalls were empty. No one stood at
the two sinks. She was alone. “Thank God.” She pulled out her cell
phone and called Kelsey.

After three rings: “Hello.”

“Hi, it’s me. I’m actually…in your women’s
restroom right now.”

“Of course. Because all my friends call me
from my restaurant bathroom. Did you know that I get more
compliments about our restrooms than I get about our food? Perhaps
we should start cooking in there from now on.”

Marisa could always count on Kelsey for a
laugh, and right now she needed it more than anything. “I just
broke up with Brad. He’s sitting out there in one of the booths,
and I don’t think he’s going to leave. I told him that I never want
to see him again.”

“Finally,” Kelsey said with a smile in her
voice. “It’s about time. And I’m holding you to that. If I see you
together again—”

“You won’t. I promise. But could you check
to see if he’s still out there?”

“Sure. Going to check right now. I saw you
leave last night in a hurry. Is Brad the reason you rushed out of
the party?”

“Partly.” She didn’t want to get into it
now.

“Sorry to say, but he’s still there.”

“What’s he doing?” Marisa asked.

“Looking through the menu. Oh, now he just
glanced at the women’s restroom door. All right, he’s back to
looking at the menu again.”