One to Tell the Grandkids (20 page)

Taryn frowned as she worked to cover where the tip of Ann’s nose had been rubbed raw and deep. It was a wound that had been continuously reopened when Ann squished her face against the mesh of her cage. For minutes, Taryn concentrated on trying to find the right blend of concealer and foundation. It wasn’t the kind of thing she was going to be able to hide in its entirety, but she should be able to make it look less garish than it had in life. She felt a rush of pride some minutes later. Ann’s skin looked smooth. “See? We got this.”

Setting down the foundation, Taryn rifled through the rest of the various bottles and pallets on her tray. “Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. I don’t know what to think about the afterlife and all that, but if you’re up there somewhere, you probably know. I feel like I should apologize about Caleb. I know I didn’t take advantage of him in a classical sense. He was the one who initiated everything, but maybe I should have stopped him.

“Look, I know how protective older siblings can get. You seem like you might have been more even-tempered than Mike, but that’s not saying much, is it?” Taryn fingered a tube of lipstick, considering the shade against the color of Ann’s skin. She twisted and untwisted it, watching the subtle red move in and out. “I care about him. A lot. I don’t know if you worry about him. If he were my brother, I know I would.”

She tilted her head, considering for a moment as she smoothed lipstick on Ann’s lips. “It’s unfair of me to talk about this with you, but you’re kind of the only one I have. Melanie isn’t great with advice. Robin is a romantic at heart. He likes interesting stories.” Her laugh was wry. “This would definitely be one to tell the grandkids, huh? Girl gets knocked up on a one-night stand and falls for her baby daddy’s best friend?”

Sitting back on her stool, Taryn put down the makeup and put her hand to her belly. “But things don’t work out just because they make for a romantic story. I’m telling you this because you’re on Caleb’s side, and someone should be. Someone should be looking out for him. Let’s just put aside the fact I have no idea how Slate would react to all this. But as much as I love him, as cool as he is, he is the little brother in this situation, you know?”

There was a fluttering at her abdomen, and Taryn rubbed her hand over the swell. “I haven’t forgotten about you.” She cupped the back of her neck with her free hand as she looked back at Ann. “That’s another thing I’d love to talk to you about. You gave up your son because you thought that was what was best for him.

“How messed up is this situation on a scale of one to ten? Maybe an eleven, right? I never even thought about dating before, and now that I’m pregnant by a guy whose name I didn’t even remember afterward, suddenly I’m all kinds of attracted to someone else. Putting aside who the guy is to Slate, and that he’s your brother, isn’t that messed up on its own?”

Shaking her head, Taryn set back to work, adding a gentle pink to Ann’s cheeks. Just enough to make her look human instead of like a wax museum castoff. “I don’t know what the right thing is. Not for me or Slate or Caleb or Patch.” She paused, overwhelmed by a wave of emotion that made her eyes cloud with tears. She took a moment to wipe them away before she returned to her task.

“But I’m probably getting ahead of myself.” She sniffled and laughed at her melodrama. “I’m not blind. So Caleb is attracted to me. I’d like to think you would have given him crap for that because who knows why. But attraction doesn’t have to have any other implications. It didn’t for me and Slate.”

Taryn put down her brush and bit the inside of her cheek. The way Caleb looked at her, the way the air tasted when they were together, felt like more than attraction. It just felt
more
.

“Anyway.” She began to put all the makeup back in her bag, making sure everything was tight and in order. “I want you to know I have his back. Whatever is happening between us, I’ll think of him. Not first”—she touched her hand to her bump— “but I won’t hurt him. I promise I have honorable intentions.” She shrugged. “It’s probably nothing. It’s probably pregnancy hormones and grief escapism.”

Taryn took a moment to study Ann’s face on a professional level, searching for flaws in her work. She looked good. As good as a dead woman could. “Fate dealt you a really crappy hand, you know that? But don’t worry about Caleb. We’ll take care of him.

“And if you see Bailey, tell her I’m sorry and I love her.”

Chapter Twenty

“A
nn looks beautiful. Your girl did a great job.”

Caleb didn’t answer his father. He pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and tried not to think of useless things like how Ann never would have picked out the pale purple dress she was in now. Ann loved purple, but that was about the only thing John had gotten right.

“I like her a lot better than that other one a few years ago,” John said as if he didn’t notice Caleb’s silence. “What was her name? Laura? Lainey. Leslie?”

“I’m going to go make sure the programs are laid out correctly.” Caleb took off without a backward glance.

John followed him and grabbed his arm. “Caleb.”

Caleb stopped, but he kept his face forward. If he’d been alone, he would have had Ann dressed in one or more of her shirts. Toward the middle of her illness, Ann had been obsessed with shirts. She would take every single one she had out, lay them on the bed, and stare at them one by one for hours. At one point, there was nothing in the world that made Ann happier than a new shirt.

“The programs were fine when you put them out ten minutes ago. They’ll be fine when everyone gets here. Can we talk?”

“About what?”

“Sit down. Come sit down.” John tugged on his arm, trying to draw him back into the viewing room. There were pews set up so the room could act as a makeshift chapel, but despite the pleas of their more devout cousins, both the viewing and the funeral would be nondenominational. Ann had been an atheist, which she’d told him once was a comfort. Who could blame her? Caleb was uncomfortable about a God who could create his sister’s disease and still be called benevolent.

“Caleb.” His father was trying to get his attention again.

“What do you want?”

John shifted in his seat. “Times like these remind us not to take what we have for granted.”

“I’m not in the habit of taking what I have for granted.” He knew damn well what his father was getting at, but he wasn’t in the mood to play the good son.

“I want to be a part of your life, Caleb. I know you’re pissed at me. I get it, but there’s a limit, isn’t there? We’ve gotten along well enough planning this thing.”

Caleb’s cheek twitched. “We got along well enough because I didn’t argue with you. I—” He cut himself off. He was angry, and this was going to be a long day.

“Your girlfriend is pregnant.”

Caleb’s breath caught.

“You weren’t going to even tell me I’m going to be a grandfather?”

Caleb had to laugh. “She’s not my girlfriend, and it’s not my baby.”

The look of confusion on John’s face would have been funny under other circumstances, but if anything, the desolation that had settled over Caleb early that morning only deepened.

“I’m sorry. You looked like a couple before. She hardly left you alone.”

His father’s words triggered an ache in him Caleb didn’t want to acknowledge. His throat tightened, which he found most unfortunate because it prevented him from answering before John went on. “How’s life on that front, then? Any girlfriends? Boyfriends?”

“No, Dad. How about you? Any new boyfriends or girlfriends? Or is your second family working out a little better than your first? No deadly diseases to contend with, so you’re doing okay this time around?”

“Caleb.”

“What?”

“This isn’t the time or place for this discussion.”

“No, only the discussions you want to have.” Caleb flexed his fists at his side and took a deep breath. “Heaven forbid. You’re right. We shouldn’t tell the truth today.” He waved his hand to interrupt John before he could reply. “Look, it’s fine. I understand. Ann is dead. I can’t bug you to see her. All the awkwardness can just go away and we’ll get on with our lives, is that it?”

“I’m the only family you have left.”

Stung, Caleb stared down at his shoes. He chuffed and raised his head. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Caleb—”

Caleb had already stood, turned on his heel and was out the doors. He went to the table where the programs were scattered, and even though they were laid out perfectly fine, he rearranged them into a new formation around the picture of his sister in better days. It was a candid shot, taken by her then-boyfriend. Her smile was huge, her eyes bright, beautiful, and alive. Though the picture didn’t show it, she’d been pregnant when that shot was taken, and the world had looked like a brighter place.

“Doesn’t seem like a lot to ask, does it, Annie?” He brushed his fingertips over her cheek. “Everyone else gets husbands and wives and babies. I guess you and I are just cursed.” He touched his palm to his chest over his tattoo. “I can’t complain. I’m here and you’re not.”

The sound of a car pulling up outside caught his attention. He looked up to see a cousin getting out. “Here goes nothing.”

“Should I be here?” Taryn asked as they pulled up to the mortuary’s parking lot.

Beside her, Mel snorted. “Tare, if
you
shouldn’t be here, then
I
might be breaking several taboos.”

“I hope it’s all okay. I don’t want to make life harder on Caleb.”

“You’re here to support him.”

“But you aren’t.”

“Sure I am. I liked the guy the couple times I met him, and one way or another, your sister dying just plain sucks. But you’re here to support him, and I’m here to support you. If that’s the worst thing he has to deal with today, well . . .” She shrugged.

Taryn wrung her hands. “Okay, that’s not comforting.”

“Sorry. I’m out of practice.” Mel fixed her with a sideways look. “I’m glad you called, though. I’ve missed you these last few weeks.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been mostly MIA for a while now. And I get it. Baby Daddy and Mr. Tortured Soul in there.” She gestured at the mortuary. “There’s a lot going on in your life. Just don’t forget to check in once in a while. Me and Rob, we want to know how you and Patch are doing.”

“We’re fine. Things are good. Why wouldn’t they be?”

Mel raised a challenging eyebrow, and Taryn slumped. “No, really. It’s all fine with Slate. That’s the most important thing, isn’t it?”

“Maybe it’s the most important thing, but it isn’t the only thing. What else is going on with you?”

Taryn bit the inside of her cheek.

“You can tell me anything.”

“Okay. I  maybe, might have had sex with Caleb.” She clapped her hand over her mouth.

Mel blinked at her. “Wow. Okay, overachiever. I was thinking it was something about Mike.”

“Mike? He’s maintaining radio silence right now. I told you that.”

“He’s an asshole. Moving on. Whoa. Rob told me you had a crush on this guy, but I didn’t really believe him. You with a crush.” She shook her head as though the idea was out of the realm of believability. “When did this sex happen?”

“A few nights ago.” Since Mel was already in shock, Taryn figured she might as well go for broke. “The night his sister died.”

Mel mouthed
wow
but no sound came out.

“I know.” Taryn groaned and leaned forward against the dash, burying her head in her arms. “It’s messed up, right?”

“I think the word you’re going for is
complicated
, not
messed up
.”

“How is this not messed up?”

“Did you seduce him when he was in a vulnerable state?”

“What? No.”

“You and Slate didn’t get together when I wasn’t looking, right?”

“No.”

“Okay. So what you’re saying is you, a consenting adult, had consensual sex with Caleb, a consenting adult, while neither of you was otherwise attached to anyone else.”

“I am having another man’s baby.”

“Oh, are we really going to go there? Leave the baby out of this for a minute.”

“I can’t leave the baby out of this. Don’t you get it? That’s the whole point. Caleb is Slate’s best friend.”

“Which makes the situation complicated, not messed up.” Mel eyed her. “Rob was right, wasn’t he? You do have a crush on him. This wasn’t just some random, life-affirming-funeral-sex sex, right? That’s what has you angsting out.”

Taryn’s breath left her in a huff. “Not for me.”

“And for him?”

“I don’t know.” She told her friend about what had happened and what Caleb had said the morning after.

Mel tapped her lips. “Bottom line this for me. Don’t think about anyone but you. Tell me what you want in your heart of hearts.”